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Deeper Shade of Blue

The next chapter of our tale takes place some time after the tear-jerker, cliff-hanger ending that left us all on the edge of our seats. Will Ares find a way to get Xena back? Will Xena be able to keep to her new path and resist the temptations of Ares and the dark side? Will they be able to stop Mary Sue's devious plot to… do whatever it is Mary Sue is deviously plotting this time?

Let's find out.

Xena, on the whole, coped pretty well with the significant life change that turning good entailed. In addition to the new "only kill bad guys" rule, there were some more mundane adjustments to make. She got used to sleeping in cheap taverns or camping out at night, rather than the cushy temple lifestyle she'd had. She got used to having to groom her own horse, and found that she actually quite liked looking after dear old Argo. She even – wait for it – got used to having a friend.

See, the priestesses at the temple hadn't exactly been Xena's friends, they were more like a glorified fan club, and not terribly good company. Truth be told, the slumber parties, matching outfits and breathy deference to Ares had always seemed a bit ridiculous to her. She recalled asking Ares once why he put up with it all, and rolling her eyes when he replied that he'd actually never liked them either but was too nervous to tell them all to get lost and leave him in peace.

So it came as a surprise when Xena accidentally befriended a young bard from the village of Potadia not long after her conversion. The girl's name was Gabrielle, and she and Xena quickly proved that opposites can be the best of friends. Xena was dark, Gabrielle was blonde; Xena was silent, Gabrielle barely ever shut up; Xena had by now seen most of the world with her kaleidoscopic aqua peepers, but Gabby was constantly wide-eyed at the sights and sounds of places that weren't Potideia.

Remarkably, they got along extremely well, and as the time passed, Xena found that the young girl from Potodeiah was key to keeping on the straight and narrow of her new path.

Now, while Xena was busy with her new life, things weren't going quite as well for Ares. He'd taken to brooding and moping around since Xena had left him, and frankly he was getting pretty grumpy. Mary Sue was not thrilled with this, as her plan to win Ares' love hinged on him actually noticing her at some stage. She knew it would happen eventually, as she was stunningly gorgeous, highly accomplished at everything, and one of those people you can't stop thinking about. But Ares seemed immune to her charms.

It so happened that Mary Sue knew a legend about a secret and wonderful artefact, a ring that would make the wearer irresistible to anyone, mortal or god, that looked upon them. She'd always thought it was a story made up to let ugly people feel better about themselves, because most people found her irresistible anyway. But she had a dream about the ring, and with her gift of prophecy she knew that she was destined to wear it someday.

That morning, she put on her most diaphanous gown and went to go and find Ares, who was staring glumly at an image of Xena in his PortalVision™. To make a long, tedious scene short, Mary Sue sneakily suggested that Ares should use his godly powers to locate the enchanted ring and then Xena would fall prey to its spell and return to him. Really, she intended no such thing, for the ring also had a helpful "defense mode" that would fill anyone looking at the wearer with the vilest loathing. Mary Sue planned to use that secret mode to solve her Xena problem (some details to be confirmed, of course, because once you start thinking about that plan, it has more holes than a sieve).

Ares disappeared and then reappeared in front of Xena, who was leading Argo down a nondescript yet familiar-looking road. She rolled her eyes at first, but secretly she was glad to see him.

"Xena, it's great that Gabrielle has gone back to Potideah to visit her pet ducks and goats and geese. How about if we go on a mission together for old times' sake?"

"Not a chance, Ares. I have a busy week of being a hero and fighting evil ahead of me. On Monday I'm going to break a siege by an evil invading army. On Tuesday I'm going to defeat two evil warlords. On Wednesday I'm going to save some orphans from their evil caretaker. On Thursday—" Xena frowned and was starting to pull her calendar out of her breastplate, when Ares interrupted.

"—On Thursday you're going to keep the evil war god Ares out of mischief by going on a quest with him to find a sacred ring."

Xena raised one eyebrow above one of her piercing teal oculi and considered. On the one hand, the orphans did need saving, and her now-remembered Thursday plan to rescue a cat from a tree was part of a detailed image rehabilitation PR exercise that Gabrielle was insisting on. On the other hand, Ares looked awfully cute when he was deliberately trying to charm her into doing things she probably shouldn't.

"Fine. Friday's my day off, so as long as I'm back in time to meet up with Gabrielle on Saturday, it shouldn't be a problem."

Ares smiled winningly. "I knew my Xe wouldn't let me down. See you on Thursday, if you can wait that long."

He saw the murderous look in Xena's steely periwinkle eyes and disappeared before she could do anything about his irritating-yet-adorable habit of giving her nicknames.

Thursday dawned bright and clear, and Xena (who had gotten up an hour early to save the cat, much to the delight of some village urchins; she really was getting soft) was leading Argo down a different nondescript road, when suddenly she sensed him. See, Xena has this weird ability to tell when Ares is nearby, even when he's invisible, so he can never sneak up on her. She let herself revel in the breathless shiver that his presence always gives her, and then decided to let him know she knew he was there.

"Aaaaaareeeeeeeeees," she drawled playfully. "I know you're there."

He immediately appeared behind her. "I know you know I'm here."

"I know you know I know."

"I know you know I know you know."

"Oh no you don't."

"Oh yes I do."

This conversation went on for some time. Argo rolled her chestnut equine eyes and wished they would hurry up and kiss so she could have some peace and quiet.

Eventually, Xena and Ares agreed on a plan. It was Xena's plan, really, because she's the practical half of the couple. They would head for the castle of King Iphicles, Hercules' half-brother, because she had a hunch that he might know where the sacred ring was to be found. Xena's hunches are never wrong, so Ares readily agreed to this arbitrary plan. The castle, in Corinth, was only a day's ride away. Much to Argo's relief, Ares materialised his own horse so she didn't have to carry both of them on her back.

Off they rode. It was pretty boring. The scenery didn't change, and neither of them said much because they were both lost in thought about how much they loved each other yet how remote the chances of a happy ending were.

They stopped for lunch and Ares obediently produced a picnic feast with many delicious food items, including meats, cheeses, bread, olives, pastries and a skin of wine. Xena noticed that the foods he had chosen were all her favourites, so she ate up gleefully. This turned out to be a mistake.

Shortly after lunch, they were attacked by a mysterious band of ruffians, and despite fighting them off in her usual style (aided by the baddies helpfully lining up to attack one at a time even though they vastly outnumbered our happy couple) Xena momentarily lost focus due to an ill-timed bout of flatulence and sustained a near-fatal injury. Down she went.

"Xena!" Ares shouted, panic-stricken. It would never do for his Chosen to die in such a tawdry way. He ran to where she had collapsed on the ground but continued to fight with her sword in her left hand, and he dispatched the remaining ruffians almost immediately. Once that was taken care of, Ares studied his Princess, who was clutching her shoulder and clearly in pain.

"Xena, are you all right?" Ares asked usefully.

"What do you think, genius?" Xena snapped, grimacing.

Ares thought for a moment, ignoring Xena's (understandable, if you want this bard's opinion) bad temper. What could he do to make this better? He was a god, so there were a lot of options open to him.

He meditated for so long that when he next looked at Xena, she had passed out, due either to the pain from her shoulder or desperation about whether he would ever come up with a suggestion.

"Hmm, you look even worse that before," Ares said, alarmed. "Let me take you to my temple and nurse you back to health." Xena didn't respond, so Ares assumed she wouldn't mind. He gathered her up in his arms, being careful of her bleeding shoulder, and disappeared, only to reappear a short time later in the bedroom of one of his temples.

This was Ares' private space and the decor reflected his tastes: everything was a deep, rich red, accentuated with touches of black and silver in suitable places. Everything was furnished to the highest standards of luxury, and it was truly the abode of a god. Ares, however, paid no attention to his surroundings, as he gently placed Xena on the bed, and carefully bandaged her wound. When he had finished, he tucked the black satin sheets and velvet bedspread around her, and knelt at her side. She appeared to be sleeping peacefully now, and he touched her cheek lightly with the back of his hand, smoothing a stray lock of hair.

"Princess, you don't know how much I miss you," he said softly. "These last few years without you have been so lonely and difficult for me. I miss you not taking any crap from me. I miss you fighting in my name. I don't miss you beating me up, 'cause you still do that, but I miss the fun we used to have together. I miss your beautiful hair and eyes and smile. I know you'll say there's no way we can be together because your new path is too important, that you couldn't abandon it… but I wish you would. I love you, Xena, and I wish you could know that."

He sighed as he finished his speech, and looked at Xena one more time before he dematerialised from the room. As he did so, Xena sighed and pressed her own hand to the spot on her cheek that he had just been touching. She hadn't been asleep at all; in fact, she had heard every word Ares had said, and the strength of his feelings had taken her completely by surprise. She hadn't known he truly cared that much about her, she'd thought he just wanted her back as some kind of trophy.

She eventually drifted off into a troubled, restless sleep, filled with dreams of Ares.

"Why are you grinning, Xena?" Gabrielle asked.

The warrior princess was indeed utterly failing to hide a small smirk that threatened to appear on her face, an expression in marked contrast to Ares and Gabrielle, who were both looking slightly ill at the scroll they had just completed.

"Oh, no reason." Xena's smirk broadened.

"Nice try. Out with it. If you found something funny in there, I'd love to know," the bard persisted.

"I just don't really think my dreams would have been troubled if they were about Ares, that's all. I can think of a few ways to describe them, but troubled isn't one of them. Just a minor critical detail." Xena innocently raised an eyebrow at Gabrielle, who was looking like she wished she hadn't asked.

Ares, meanwhile, was pouring wine into three wooden cups but stopped to look round at Xena. "Oh, do go on – how would you describe them?" There was a lilt of amusement in his tone.

Gabrielle interrupted. "I really don't think that's necessary, actually—my imagination is too vivid for its own good as it is. Besides, it's too early in the scroll to get into those kinds of details, don't you think? I mean, here we are with this 'will-you, won't you?' situation that's been going on forever. No sane bard would cheapen her finale by getting graphic this soon."

Ares carried the wine over to the kitchen table, and tossed a scrap of something down to Horace as he sat. "Hang on, I don't think so, Battling Bard. If whoever is writing this wants to sell a lot of scrolls, the readers need to keep coming – hey, calm down, I mean keep coming back for more. Why not put in some kind of teaser to whet their appetites?"

Xena sipped her wine, looking studiously neutral for once in her life, but refraining from comment.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes. "And that's why I'm the bard and not you, Ares. You have no appreciation of plot structure, of gradually developing your story as it builds to its climax, of how to give the reader satisfaction."

Ares shook his head. "Well, maybe not in a written scroll, but you should see my oral skills."

Xena choked on her wine at that last comment, looking scandalised. "Ares!"

Gabrielle, perhaps wisely, elected to allow Xena and Ares a few seconds to discuss exactly what Xena may or may not have dreamed about on a certain occasion, as she opened up the next scroll for a sneak peek. Almost as quickly, she rolled it right back up and thrust it over at Xena with a mumbled comment about how maybe that was one they ought to look at later on, or any other time when Gabrielle wasn't in the room (and a silent added thought that I was awake the whole time you spent that night with Marcus and I'm still scarred).

Eventually she found a slightly more family-friendly scroll and they settled in for the next chapter.