Only a day late for the update, but I still feel the need to apologize for my tardiness. But here's the last update for ya!

And FYI, I went back and fixed all the random little errors my stupid computer provided in the previous chapter. I'm sorry you had to go through the torture of reading an update I had been too lazy to proofread.

The Doctor quickly put in the coordinates provided by the scanner, and away they went.

"Doctor, do you know where specifically the TARDIS is taking us?" River asked as she gripped the edge of the console to keep steady (her husband refused to let her lay a finger on the stabilizers).

"Not a clue!" the Doctor replied brightly on the opposite side. "But don't worry, she knows what she's doing. She'll take us just where we need to be."

The ship jerked to a halt, producing its usual unique sound as it materialized.

River squeezed her eyes shut in distaste. "Oh, I hate that sound."

Pulling one final lever down, the Doctor glanced across at her and grinned. "I know."

He spun around on the spot and headed to the doors in great leaps and bounds, with River close on his heels. Together they pushed them open to discover just where it was that they had arrived.

They found themselves in a graveyard, the weeds overgrown, withered trees stooped with age over the headstones, which were already halfway there to eroding back to being a part of nature once again. River stepped out into the sunlight, but not without some trepidation caused by the memory of the last time she had been in a cemetery.

"It's not the same one, River," the Doctor said as he moved to stand beside her. His voice was pained, but she could tell that it was for an entirely different reason. He had been here before, and it had not been under very good circumstances.

Suddenly, other sounds in the distance joined in with theirs.

"Through there? I hate this place! Don't you think it's creepy?" a young woman asked.

"Nah," another replied, that single syllable making the Doctor stand rigid. "I don't believe in ghosts."

"That's her!" he cried, racing through the tombstones to find the voice's source.

Doing what he does best, the Doctor ran and ran until he reached a clearing in the woods, where two girls stood conversing. One remained warily on the outskirts of the cemetary, but the other walked among the graves like she was taking a pleasant morning stroll.

Even if River hadn't seen the pictures from the files, the girl's obvious lack of fear distinguished her as just the sort of person the Doctor would choose to travel with him.

Pure elation of at last finding his Soufflé Girl caused the Doctor to abandon all reason and begin stumbling towards her. Fortunately, he didn't even get the chance to open his mouth and call her name when River tugged him back behind one of the trees and firmly clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Wha' wus tha' fer?" he asked, words muffled by her hand.

After releasing him, she said dryly, "Do you really expect to just waltz in, declare that Clara had been born and killed in two other time periods before this one, and assume she'll just follow you into the TARDIS, no questions asked?"

The Doctor blinked. "I'm assuming by your tone that the correct answer is 'no'."

She sighed, which now that she thinks about it she does quite a lot when around her husband. "Just wait it out until I-"

"We," he corrected.

"I can think of a plan," River finished, ignoring his outburst.

With a huff, the Doctor crossed his arms and sank to the ground. River quickly followed suit, and the two peered out from the bushes to witness Clara's conversation with her friend.

"I'm going the roundabout way to get to the park," the other girl was saying. "Ghosts or not, this place gives me a bad feeling."

Clara only shrugged. "Do what you like, Shoka. Me, I actually like coming here. Always felt some strange connection to this place. Just not sure why..."

Shoka rolled her eyes. "Well, once you've completed your weekly séance, I'll meet you in our usual spot."

It was at this point that River's spectating of the scene before her was interrupted by an incessant tapping on her shoulder. "Can we go talk to her now?"

"No, dear," River sighed.

"Why not?" the Doctor whined. "Her friend's gone, she's all alone. Now would be the perfect time to pounce!"

"And do you have any idea what you're going to say when you do pounce?" she asked, barely hiding a smile.

"I work best in the spur of the moment," he argued. "Improvisation, my dear River, is cool. I always come up with my plans on the spot."

"Yes," his wife agreed. "And how often have those little schemes of yours gone as they should?"

For a brief moment, the Doctor said nothing as he thought back to every instance in which his crazy ideas had gone awry. But then his lips formed a smug smirk that usually belonged on River's face as he leaned forward and tapped his wife's nose affectionately. "We're still alive, aren't we?"

Though it was a valid point, River remained firm. "But on something as important as this, we need to just take a minute and decide upon the best course of action."

The Doctor made no effort to conceal his groan. "You're no fun!"

River gave her husband a sidelong glance and winked. One never would have guessed that she had been crying under a quarter of an hour ago. "I think you know that's not true."

His face flushed, but for the pure sake of the argument he replied. "Is too."

She rolled her eyes at his immaturity, but indulged him nonetheless. "Is not."

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Oy!" came a distinctly different voice from behind. "You kids better get along, or I'll send you both straight to bed."

Like a pair of children caught with their hands in the cookie jar, the Doctor and River turned to face none other than Clara Oswin Oswald. She was leaning against a tree behind them, eyes narrowed in suspicion at them.

"Oh, er..." the Doctor scrambled to his feet, unable to keep his wide eyes off the girl he had been searching for weeks. "Hello."

Clara crossed her arms. "I would return the gesture, but my mother always warned me not to talk to strangers."

"Cheeky," River observed. But there was no mistaking the admiration in her voice.

If the Doctor had been able to go both deathly pale and beet red, he would've looked like something akin to a candy cane. "Look, Clara, it's not what you think."

"A strange man, hiding in the bushes to stalk a girl alone in a graveyard, and also happens to know her name?" the girl queried. "I have reason to believe it's exactly what I think."

"And clever, too," River remarked. "I can see why you chose her."

Wheeling around to face his wife, he hissed in a not-so-quiet whisper, "You're not helping!"

"And why are you surprised?" she retorted. "Just having a little fun, darling."

But Clara was the sort of person who naturally demanded attention. "Chosen for what?"

The Doctor slowly approached the young woman, staring her down with a calculating eye. "Do you know who I am?"

Clara didn't even blink. "Not one bit."

A flash of hurt flitted across his face for a moment, but he prodded further. "Nothing about me you recognize? Anything deep in your subconscious you can pull out on me?"

"I think I'd remember a chin like that," Clara replied. "Do you use it as a coat rack?"

To River's credit, she did a remarkably fine job in subduing her laughs, but the Doctor could still feel her teasing grin searing itself in the back of his skull.

"You should try that with your tweed, Sweetie," she said as she joined the group. "Can't look any worse than when you have it on your back."

The Time Lord could only sigh as both women dissolved into fits of laughter. It wasn't the first time he expected a catfight and gotten the two joining forces against him instead, and one of the few mysteries of the Universe that still remained unsolved for him was which option was worse.

But speaking of mysteries, the Doctor's mind switched gears to solve the one concerning Clara Oswald.

"Clearly the same girl," he muttered to himself as he began pacing. "But no recollections of her past, as expected. It's like she's starting from scratch; same face, same personality, same name even. But why would-"

He halted in both words and movements, dead still for one of the few instances in his very long life. Ignoring both the looks of confusion from his new friend and irritation from his wife, he took a long, deep whiff of the air around him.

"Something's wrong," he announced. "Something's very, very wrong."

River rolled her eyes. "He claims that he can literally smell danger."

"It's my eighth sense!" the Doctor exclaimed as he whipped out his sonic and began performing a series of scans.

"Most people only have five senses, dear," she explained patiently.

"I'm a Time Lord," he scoffed. "I'm not most people." Dissatisfied with the results of his tests, he added, "I need to get on higher ground for a better reading."

"And what about us?" Clara asked, slightly miffed. "I still have quite a few questions for you, Chin Boy."

"Er... River can help you with that," he said, pushing his wife forward. "You two go shop or golf or shoot things or whatever it is girls like to do together." He took off after the nearest hill. "Be back in a minute!"

Once he was gone, River simply shook her head at the man's sheer ridiculousness before returning her attention back on Clara. "So, you have questions?"

Clara fired off her spiel of inquiries as quickly as River could a round of bullets with her gun. "What's a Time Lord? What was that strange device he was holding? How does he know who I am, but I don't know him? What have I been chosen for? Who is that man, and can I trust him?"

River delivered her replies without missing a beat. "An alien from the planet Gallifrey that can live for centuries and understand the passage of history and workings of time better than any other species in the Universe. A sonic screwdriver, which can do literally almost anything you could possibly imagine. You have lived at least twice before, but you were killed and somehow reborn in an entirely different era. To travel with him in his spaceship throughout all of time and space. He is known as the Doctor, and though he does lie quite a lot, I trust him more than anything that ever did, does, or will exist."

For a moment, Clara simply stood there, processing everything she had just said. Then she threw her head back and gave a loud, long laugh.

"You're mad, both of you! Right from the start I thought he was a little batty, but I figured at least you were reasonable. Turns out that you're even worse."

She turned to leave, but River's voice gave her pause. "No taste in fashion, spies on young girls while claiming to have met them in past lives, and carries imaginary contraptions as weaponry. Why do you say that I'm the crazier one?"

Twisting back around to face her, Clara replied, "You said that you trust him, didn't you?"

Oh, she's a clever one, all right.

It was River's turn to laugh. "I didn't always. Believe me, I know exactly what you're going through. A man comes out of nowhere and treats you like you've known each other your whole lives? It's downright terrifying."

She lowered her voice instinctively to make sure her husband couldn't hear her. "But you know something? It's also exciting. And wonderful. And brilliant and exhilarating and maddening and amazing and everything else in between."

She brushed past the young girl, throwing the last line over her shoulder. "All you need is to put a little faith in him. And I can help plant the seed."

She watched Clara glance nervously in the direction that her friend had gone in. She knew that she was thinking of running, she could see the fear in her eyes. But the expression that was even more evident in her eyes was one of intrigue.

Steeling her nerves, Clara set off to follow the mysterious woman.

River lead the girl through the haunted graveyard, stopping before the very same headstone Clara herself had been at mere minutes ago. When the younger read the name on the stone for the first time, her mouth went slack and she made no attempt to close it again.

"How..."

"An excellent question," River agreed. "How is it that a woman born nearly a hundred and fifty years ago could have the exact same name as you? And with such a unique middle name as that, you know it can't be simply a coincidence."

She inclined her head towards the girl, who was still staring wide-eyed at the grave. "Tell me, Clara, have there ever been times in school when you could recall a certain point in history in exact detail, despite never having learned of the event before in your life? Ever known just how popular some new piece of technology will become before it's even been released?"

Clara said nothing, which only served to confirm River's theory.

"Those are from the experiences you've encountered in your past lives," River explained. "I bet you've always felt out of place here, like you don't quite belong, and you're absolutely right. You don't belong here, and you never will."

"How are you so sure?" Clara asked.

River thought back to times of an infant born of a twenty-first century woman thousands of lightyears away and who-knows-how-many years in the future. Of a terrified young girl in a spacesuit, trained to kill in an era decades before what should have been her time. Of a sassy little kid raised by her parents when they were kids themselves.

"Because I don't belong here, either."

Their eyes met, and each woman felt a connection towards the other that had not been present a moment ago.

"Then where do we belong?" Clara whispered.

River smiled and and gestured towards the space alien licking the dirt off his fingers a several meters away. "With him. Traveling through all the times and places we could ever dream of and more. Trust him, Clara. He's the Doctor."

The Girl Who Died Twice glanced down at her own gravestone, then to River, then to the Doctor, then back again at the stone, unable to say a word.

"Aren't you going to ask it?" River said.

Clara focused her puzzled gaze back on the other woman. "Ask what?"

"'Doctor who?'" When she was met once again by silence, River nodded. "Ah, I see. You've already asked it before, so you know that it can never be answered."

Clara took a step back, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information being hurled at her. "Can he help me? Does the Doctor know what's happening to me?"

River's hand went to her pocket, fingers clasping around one small object. She could just say no, keep the Doctor all to herself. But that wouldn't be fair to either him or Clara, so with a deep, steadying breath she pulled the item out into the open.

"He never knows what," she explained, pressing the silver key into Clara's hand, already outstretched like she had been expecting it all along. "He only knows who."

She could tell that Clara would be good for the Doctor. She had an intellect that could keep up with his, but with the curiosity and wonder of a child. She was special, had a perspective like none other, and if River or her parents couldn't travel with her madman, there was no one else she wished more for him than Soufflé Girl.

Clara stared down at the key that she had held once upon a time, and River could practically see the wheels spinning faster and faster in her head as she tried to figure out the elaborate puzzle of her past. But the two were soon interrupted by a voice calling out in the distance.

"River! Clara!" the Doctor cried, displaying an impressive array of flailing limbs as he raced down the hill. Once he even tripped on his own feet, tumbled into a full somersault, only to pop straight back up and keep on running like it never happened. "I've got it! I know what the trouble is!"

"Do tell us, Sweetie," River told him. "We've been waiting with bated breath."

He made a face at his wife, but quickly switched back to business mode. "It's the rabbits."

River stared back at him. "Rabbits."

"Rabbits," the Doctor confirmed. "Some alien life form is possessing them, using the poor things with intent to kill."

"Rabbits," River repeated, like a broken record.

"Yes, dear," the Doctor replied, exasperated. "I think we've established this fact."

"But... why rabbits?" she asked. "Wouldn't they have chosen something a bit more menacing, like hounds or bears perhaps?"

"River." Her husband turned to face her fully, and she saw true terror in his eyes. "Can you think of any creature that breeds faster than rabbits?"

Suddenly the fearsome, gun-slinging psychopath held the exact same expression as the Doctor. "Oh."

"Yes. Oh. In a matter of weeks they will have at their disposal a full-fledged army of rabid rabbits." The Oncoming Storm then fell abruptly into a fit of giggles. "Rabid rabbits. How alliterative!"

But all it took was one death glare from his wife to direct him back to the arising problem. "Right! So let's get a move on, sorry we couldn't chat longer, Clara, but you know... looming threat of alien invasion that could very well destroy the world as we know it. Again."

The Doctor said this casually as he walked on ahead, like this sort of thing happened to him every day. Which, come to think of it,wasn't too far from the truth. "I've already got a plan that I, ahem, improvised on the way here, and it involves my sonic, a few tracking devices, and a big ball of yarn. To the TARDIS, ladies! Oh, and before you ask, Clara- seeing as we're in a bit of a rush- yes, it is bigger on the inside."

Neither woman had moved the whole time, Clara still intent on the key, and River watching Clara to see if she would manage to put the pieces together. Finally, the young girl glanced up and, with a smug smile that suited her well, called out after him:

"Don't you mean smaller on the outside?"

The Doctor stopped dead, rabbits forgotten for the time being as he whirled back around. His pace quickened as he approached Clara, his eyes smiling. "You remember?"

"Enough to know that I should hold onto this for safekeeping," she replied, tucking the key into her purse. "Think if I travel around with you for a few months that we can be back before Shoka grows impatient?"

The madman was now on the verge of dancing about in glee. "I believe that can be arranged." Then whipping back around, he cried, "Now then! We've got a planet to save from death by rabbits."

But once again he only managed a handful of paces when he realized the third member of their party was not among them. He retraced his steps until he reached his wife, who was in the process of strapping on her vortex manipulator.

"Can't you stay?" he pleaded.

As much as she wanted to grant his request, she shook her head. "I have classes in the morning. Besides, Clara deserves a proper first adventure with you, without your daft old wife getting in the way."

The Doctor looked around innocently. "I don't see anyone daft or old here. Unless you mean me, of course."

River laughed as she leaned up to give him a brief peck on the lips. Then her face went serious. "I know she'll look after you for me, but you have to return the favor. Take care of her, Doctor."

He nodded with utmost sincerity, but for a moment River worried of what would become of Clara Oswald. Even being in the presence of the Doctor was a risk in and of itself, but after going through so many people that he had failed to protect, she knew that he would put forth the best he had to offer in order to make sure that this would not become yet another lie.

"I'll be seeing you, Professor Song," he promised.

"Spoilers," River said with the word's accompanying smirk. Then after checking to see if the coast was clear, she stood on tip-toe and whispered in his ear, "But I'll be seeing you, too."

He gave her a proper kiss this time, ignoring the cat calls that erupted from their audience. When they parted, he gave her one last grin before turning to his newest companion as she stood waiting on the outskirts.

"Now then, Miss Oswald," he addressed, offering her his hand. "Are you prepared for the most dangerous day of your life?"

Putting aside any remaining doubts or fears, Clara accepted it. "Run, you clever boy."

Most would not smile fondly as they watch their husband run off with another woman, but River had never been one to follow life according to the rules. Her pockets were now empty, two burdens lifted from her, for she had tucked her mother's glasses back into the Doctor's coat pocket as a reminder to keep in his hearts those of his past.

"And remember," she whispered. Then she pressed the button on her manipulator and crackled out of sight.