A/N: Thanks for reviews, favourites and alerts! It means a lot to me! :)

This entry is Friday Night Bites.

I don't own Damon, Stefan, Elena or The Vampire Diaries. If I did, I a) wouldn't be on a fan fiction website, and b)... well, the same as a. Entry 3 of Damon's blog starts... NOW!

Howdy, all!

God, I can't believe I just typed that. Who says Howdy? NO-ONE, that's who. Pshh, Howdy. Stefan can never find out about this… I'll never live it down. Correction: he'll never live it down. I'll kill him before he finds this out.

Woke up yesterday morning to find that previously mentioned blonde blood bank was attempting to ditch me. Damon Salvatore doesn't take too kindly to being ditched. Got a little annoyed, had a lamp waved at me, a random something or other thrown at my head (which I ducked, because I'm just that awesome) and a blood stained pillow thrown at my face. See, if I was that fairy Edward Cullen guy, I probably would've been okay with biting into a few pillows. But I'm not, and I had the real thing at 98.6 degrees (for those of you who want to be scientific or awkward or maybe even British, that's 37 degrees Celsius).And don't ask me how I know the plot of those wimpy sparkly Twi-shite books, I just do, okay? But I'm not covered in glitter, so I just settled for feeding on the girl again. Come on, I'm a vampire, I'm allowed to.

After finishing my snack, ended up driving the blonde to cheerleading practise or whatever it is they call it now. Elena looked suspicious; that means I'm doing my job right. Ten points to Salvatore.

Talked to Stefan after he got back from football try outs. You wouldn't know, but I just laughed as I typed that. Haha, football try outs. I told him it was very Emerson of him to reveal his soul in so many adjectives, you know, the whole making fun of peoples' journals thing I mentioned a few entries back. He seemed suitably pissed off enough. Pretended I was gonna go all good side, rival to the Edward Cullen's and the Stefan Salvatore's of the Vampire world, and then laughed in his face when he honestly seemed to believe me. Little brothers are hilariously gullible.

Managed to get myself invited into Katherine number two's house by gate crashing some teenage dinner party thing with Caroline in tow. Caught a falling glass in the kitchen, much cooler than doing that Cullen thing and bouncing an apple of my foot and catching it. Once again, don't ask how I know that. Brought Katherine number one up again, and Stefan seems to have found himself a smart one for me to toy with. Elena asked which one of us dated her first. I told her what I mentioned before, except I left out 'more melancholic' and 'go ask the little punk'. Instead, I pretended I was civil. It was hard not to laugh right there.

Went back to find Stefan talking to Caroline, sent the annoying blonde to help Elena in the kitchen, Stefan told me not to feed on her and I said I'd do 'whatever the hell I want'. And then for good measure, I threw in a threat or two about Elena. After all, I've been invited in. Ten more points to Salvatore. I am just on fire. Though not literally, cos… that's not good for un-dead people.

Made Elena dream about me that night. I love screwing with peoples' head's; it's a hobby of mine. Plus, it'll annoy the crap out of Stefan, and that's always a bonus.

Haven't been as lucky tonight. Tried to compel Elena to kiss me, y'know, screw with Stefan's head a little? Turns out that brooding little sod already has her on vervain. Got slapped by aforementioned Katherine clone. But fear not, dear readers, it takes more than that to ruin these devilish good looks.

Went to congratulate Stefan on reaching a new level of annoying. It turned into him deciding I still had a shred of humanity somewhere in me, or some other poetic crap like that. Sunk my teeth into the conveniently passing football coach, which a) proved him wrong and b) Meant I got a snack. I make that now a total of thirty Salvatore points.

Spent a moment or two watching Elena sleep tonight. I understand how creepy that sounds, but come on, Cullen does it and you all love him… God, I need to make a pact to stop with the twilight references.

I think I'm done for now. That is, of course, unless any of you readers want to turn up at the boarding house and offer to tap a vein? It's just a thought…

D.S

A/N: Reviews, pretty please? :)