Part 3:

Distances and Desires

After his health returned, she found that things were still awkward between them, even more so by the open, vulnerable behavior he had displayed when he was sick.

She could not be sure how to approach him. He mostly stayed silent and grew more distant. He was always gone when she woke up in the morning, his side of the bed cold. He only came to their bedroom late at night in time for bed, after she was asleep, and sometimes didn't come back at all which left her wondering if he had found someone, and surprisingly enough, she felt a stab of jealousy.

He also did not hold her and she found herself missing his touch. She did not appreciate the manner he had suddenly adopted and she had become very used to being taken care of and held closely, as she had become used to feeling valued.

Not thinking much about it, she started to do small things to get him to notice her. She changed her shampoo. She wore her hair a little differently. She applied a little makeup and pierced her ears. She did not understand, but she wanted his attention once more and having lost it had made her realize how used to it she was and how much she loved and craved for it.

She was not sure what this feeling was called. If it was love, then she fell in it slowly, and then all at once. But she was unable to show it because after more than a semester having passed since their marriage she wasn't sure how to without making it extremely awkward.

She no longer thought about the one she used to love, and was finally able to say goodbye to the memories of his touch, the feel of his lips on hers, his hands through her hair. Now she imagined someone else – her husband on paper - doing the same things to her.

Her pink haired, cherry blossom friend confessed her growing liking for her ex-lover when she came to visit her.

"I... I wanted to ask your permission. Can... Can I... Pursue him?" Haruno Sakura nervously asked.

Hinata smiled and wished her luck. "Sakura, you have my best wishes."

She had been a big help to her when her husband had fallen sick and she and her husband had developed a good friendship with the pinkette. She did not mind her ex and her best friend to get together. She had long since been aware of their feelings towards each other. The pinkette had just been blinded by her infatuation towards the raven-haired Uchiha, who had been away from the village for a long while now. He had returned for a few days as a prisoner, only to leave on a journey again. He had refused her invitation to join, shattering her heart once again in the process.

When the news reached her ears that Sakura and Naruto were together now, she honestly felt happy for them both.

One night, after a fortnight had passed, she was determined to stay up till her husband returned, because it had been more than a week since she had even seen him in the house or wandering in the corridors. She had her own missions to keep her busy as well and she was restless to see him.

He finally returned in the dead of the night. He stood in front of the wardrobe, his back to her, and took off his clothes. She wanted to bury her face in her pillows, but she also wanted to observe his reaction when he took out his clothing from the wardrobe. It didn't really matter as his open, long hair covered him.

She was never sure if he even noticed the efforts she made rearranging his clothing and leaving her scent inside the wardrobe so it would smell pleasant when he opened it. He opened it finally and took out a kimono, sniffing it deeply before slipping it on and tying it around him. She felt a deep pleasure watching him note her fragrance and arrange his hair behind him.

Just before he turned around, she quickly closed her eyes. She heard his light footsteps as he made his way towards the bed, and fell forward on his front, arms splayed. He was asleep in seconds. The fact that he could've been too tired to touch her did not register with the sharp disappointment she felt poking at her. She reached forward hesitatingly and took his hand, raising it up to face level. Cuddling his arm, she slept.

The next day, she reorganized all his drawers. She brought tall sunflowers for him and kept a vase next to his side of the bed, waiting to see his reaction when he came. Winter was here, and he was sure to wonder about the flowers.

Again, it was late at night when he returned. He trudged in slowly, opening and closing the sliding door silently when she had all but fallen asleep. She managed to open one eye to observe him. He sat on the bed with his back to her and kicked off his shoes, stopping to look at the flowers. She couldn't observe his expression but she saw him run his fingers through them, checking to see if they weren't artificial.

When he opened his drawers to put back his forehead protector which he has just taken off and his weapon bag, he smiled looking at the new, neat arrangements. She could only observe the side of his face, obscured by his bangs.

He took off his vest, and then his shirt. She ached to touch his chiseled body riddled with scars, more so and deeper than her own. She brought up the courage to stretch her hand out to reach him, but he got up at that precise moment and walked out without having noticed, no doubt to bathe.

Her sharp intake of breath was painful. What were these feelings? They were nostalgic. She had only felt these when she had cared deeply for another.

When fifteen minutes had passed, she grew restless, unable to wait anymore as she was sure she'd fall asleep. She got up and crept slowly towards the bathroom.

The door was a little open so she did not have to activate her eyes to peak inside, which was a relief because she was tired. He was lounging in the tub, having fallen asleep with his head at an angle sure to wake him up with a painful crick in the neck. She did not want him waking up in such an uncomfortable position even if he looked relaxed enough. She went back to her room and took a pillow, then brought it back to the bathroom to position it behind his neck.

He didn't wake, even though they were all trained to sleep with one eye open. Their clan was especially vigilant as they were chosen mostly for their eyes to scout and guard. It was the long-stretching peace between the villages which had them grow non-serious and lazy, no doubt.

Why did he always choose late missions lately which stretched far into the night?

The next morning, she went up to the Hokage's office and asked to look at the schedule of "special jōnin" missions. Bemused, the Hokage knew what she meant and did not deny her this request as she was an important part of the Academy as well and helped plan and organize missions. She was aware of many secret identities as well and could be trusted. Even though her husband was an ANBU, the purpose of being one meant hiding his status amongst villagers and his identity cloaked in the shadows.

She ran her eyes through the script and found his alias. She saw that almost all of his missions were long and stretched into the night, just like she had suspected.

"Hokage-sama, why do all my husband's missions require his presence in the dead of the night?" she asked, not bothering to hide her intentions.

The Hokage's expression, as always, was unreadable behind the mask he wore.

"He specifically requested them to be so," he replied.

Suspicious, she looked at the team he was paired with, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that most of them were with her pinkette friend. There was someone else whose alias she didn't recognize. She felt guilty for suspecting him but her relief was bigger. She knew that her husband deeply respected her friend because he owed her – and her ex lover for that matter - his life.

Because of the nature of secrecy in ANBU missions, she understood why her friend had not told her she was going on missions with her husband. She further felt embarrassed because he would've been one of the first to know about her pink haired friend's latest relationship status with her ex lover.

She knew he always felt wary around him; she had felt it every time he stiffened beside her whenever they saw him or passed him by. She suddenly found herself wondering if her husband might have been the one to request her cherry blossom friend to refer to her regarding her former lover and her feelings.

She thanked the Hokage and left his office, intending to pay her friend a visit.

Sakura greeted her happily and asked her inside, hurriedly preparing tea. Her friend did not ask why she was there without notice. Hinata wondered where to begin or how to approach the topic indirectly. She did not want her friend to know she had been stalking or been suspicious about her husband, as it was sure to reach his ears. She had to be careful with her choice of words.

"The weather is nice, ne? Chances were that we might witness our first snow tonight," her friend was nervously chattering.

When this did not entice a response, she further went on to speak. "Do you know of the upcoming marriage between Rock Lee and Tenten?"

Of course she did. Her husband had mentioned their growing closeness in passing months ago.

She avoided the topic about her husband or her former lover, currently the love interest of the girl in front of her. The fact that her friend was nervous showed that she was trying to guess the nature of her sudden visit. When she was out of things to talk about, Sakura hesitatingly approached the topic of her husband.

"How are things with Neji?" she asked.

Hinata shook her head sadly. "I... Have not been with him for days. I miss him. He is my confidante and I always feel safer around him even though there is no danger. I... I wish he spent more time with me."

Her friend smiled brightly. "Oh, he wishes it too!"

Hinata just looked at her in surprise.

"He told me he likes spending time with you, but how he needs to distance himself for awhile to... To give you space," Sakura said, afraid that she had spoken too much.

Hinata just looked at her sadly and she hurried to remedy her spill, confessing about her mission in the process.

"We have a mission later today which will stretch past midnight, but you can expect him back by breakfast! You can surprise him. Don't tell him I've told you so."

Hinata slept alone that night as well, and woke up at dawn when the snow had started falling. Everyone else would be asleep for a few more hours. She did not intend to go back to sleep and she stood up, waiting for his return. She was determined to resolve things between them, even if she wasn't sure how.

She prepared coffee and went out onto the porch to enjoy it, holding her steaming mug. The shed above her protected her from the falling crystals but she couldn't resist leaning a bit forward and trying to catch some of the falling flakes with her tongue, as she had done with him since she was young, and again when she was going through her dark days.

She jumped in surprise and almost dropped her mug when someone touched her shoulder.

She turned to see her masked husband.

"Neji-kun!" she squealed in joy.

"Ojou-sama," he replied, bowing. "My beautiful lady," he elaborates, as he held her chin in a teasing manner with his thumb and forefinger.

She was giddy with joy to see that he was back early and witness the snow with her. It was no doubt the reason for his early exit from his mission. The gods were with her, and she thanked lady luck for being on her side as there was absolutely no one around at this time. Her smile was wide and her eyes sparkled, but her husband wasn't to know that it was because of his arrival and not that of the snow. His arrival had just added another reason to make her love the snow more so.

They sat down on the steps and he put his arm around her, their shoulders touching. They watched the snow falling together. Where they were sitting, some of the snow could reach them.

She turned to face him as he raised up his mask to reveal his face. She touched her cold nose against his cheek, causing him to smile warmly. His eyes were misty, and she asked him to close them.

"Try to catch the snowflakes with your tongue, like you used to do to cheer me up... Before," she says, her voice a mere whisper.

Bashful, he obeyed. He leaned forward slowly and opened his mouth, only to find her cold lips brushing against his.

Shocked, he opened his eyes and looked at her with naked passion which he was struggling to cover in them.

"H-Hinata-sama?"

She was blushing furiously. She cuddled closer till she was perched on his lap and threw her arms around his neck, touching their noses and avoiding to look at him directly. His lips were trembling, and so was his whole body, right down to his fingertips still perched around her. She wondered if it was from the cold, or their contact.

He was unsure of how to proceed. "Are... Are you sure?"

She closed her eyes and raised her lips expectantly in reply. Her cheeks were flushed, and he also wondered if it was from the cold, or their contact.

Hesitatingly, he brought down his own lips to meet hers for the second time. She opened her mouth to lead him, and his teeth clacked against hers, displaying his inexperience. She was patient, and she guided him to mimic her movements. He was a quick learner, and after a few more embarrassing bouts when he didn't know how much pressure he should exert, he kissed her in a way which warmed up her insides. His hands grabbed her waist from underneath her gown, and rose up slowly, tracing her skin upwards to her ribs and further, feeling her figure.

She shivered, and he suddenly realized that they were exposed in the cold air and anyone could happen upon them. He stood up, taking her in his arms and carried her to their bedroom, her empty cup of coffee and his mask sitting forgotten on the steps they had been sitting on.

He deposited her carefully onto the bed and loomed over her after having kicked off his shoes.

She took off his headband and put it aside, next to the vase. He took off his weapon and vest, and she aided him in taking off his shirt, arm guards, and gloves.

She touched his chest where he had been pierced so many times, and she touched the mark on his forehead which has bound him to her since birth, tracing it with her fingers. In the beginning, it had been a question of duty and forced obligation, but slowly, it had blossomed into fierce loyalty and love. He had contained it under the guise of familial responsibility and friendship for so long. Unable to control himself longer still, he swooped her in his arms and held her, kissing her senseless.

It was a new experience for him, but one he found he enjoyed very much. He slowly loosened her gown, and the sleeves fell past her shoulders. He hungrily ran his hands over her chest and her breasts, discovering them, exploring them. She sighed against his lips but he didn't release her lips or the twin mounds he held.

He ran his hands down her back and as they reached her hips, she whimpered and a tremor ran through her body. He immediately stopped his hands from sliding down further and she felt ashamed that she still wasn't ready and deep affection for him to have understood her so well without any words needing to be spoken.

He didn't leave her lips alone and claimed them for hours. He kissed her and held her, and held her and kissed her. He made it very clear; he was never letting her go but he still could never let her know the extent of his passion or desire. No other can ever hope to claim his heart. His lips occasionally wandered down her neck, chest, and stomach and then back up. He behaved like a man who found an oasis after being lost in a desert for weeks and feared he won't find a better opportunity to quench his thirst, greed making him gluttonous.

He was breathing very heavily, occasionally pulling back for breath and taking in a sharp gasp. She ran her hands down his back and the feel of his strong muscles excited her. To feel his body against hers and his lips on hers for the first time made her dizzy, and she found herself wondering why she had resisted for so long and delayed the inevitable. Had she truly wanted never to indulge in this kind of relationship with him? She wondered why. The strong feelings rushing through her body in response were enough to send her reeling from his embrace.

His tongue felt her chin and jawline. She felt his lips circle below her neck and felt a sharp tingle as he bit and sucked the skin below her collarbone. His lips did not stop there. They ventured below to discover new places and played with her teats, gently biting them and taking them in his mouth. The butterflies running in her stomach made her euphoria almost painful and she could not stop herself from groaning loudly in pleasure. She opened her eyes to see his expression, to see if he was enjoying it as much as she was.

As he chewed her lips and ran his tongue over and inside her mouth, making her own tongue dance along with his, he struggled to keep in control. He had his eyes closed and grabbed both of her arms. He wondered what exactly he was doing and if it was right. But she hadn't objected had she? In fact, she was the one who had asked him to lead. He desired more, oh so much more. But he should not - could not - let her know the full extent of his desires. But maybe, just maybe, he could give her a small taste soon enough if she allowed him.