A/N: Thanks so much to all my reviewers! You guys are the best. Haha Boris, I know the exorcise/exercise joke was obvious but I had to keep it in- "It would suck if she had to be sweaty and possessed!" turned out to be one of those rare lines that actually makes me laugh at my own writing lol... Oh and I changed the name of the priest (I kept his first name, but I didn't want him to BE the guy from The Exorcist.)

Disclaimer: In addition to not owning the Suite Life characters, I also don't own the movie The Exorcist. (Yes, of course I had to include Exorcist references. Additionally- minor spoilers for that movie appear in this chapter, although posting spoiler alerts for a movie that came out in 1973 seems a little... silly.)

Zack, Cody, Woody, London, Miss Tutweiller, and Mr. Blanket rushed out of the infirmary and up to the lobby. Mr. Moseby was there- still handcuffed to Bailey- and Kirby the security guard was helping to restrain the snarling, spitting girl. Both men looked like they'd recently been in a wrestling match with a tiger; their clothes were shredded and long scratch marks covered their arms and hands.

"I just don't understand it, Mr. Moseby." Kirby was saying, trying as best he could to keep hold of Bailey's arms. "She's usually a real nice girl... But strong like you wouldn't think..."

Mr. Moseby didn't answer, seeing the group that had just entered the room. "BLANKET!" he yelled. "You handcuffed me to a possessed girl!"

"Hmm... yes." Mr. Blanket said soothingly, pulling a notepad and pen out of his jacket. "And how does that make you feel?" He looked to Moseby expectantly, pen resting over the paper to take notes.

"Well..." Mr. Moseby paused for a second. "Angry. IT MAKES ME ANGRY!"

At that moment Bailey began screaming something they couldn't understand.

"What is she even saying?" London asked in annoyance.

Cody was looking at Bailey with a mixture of horror and fascination. "I think... I think she's using Zaria's language. It's a dead language- we only know it from the hieroglyphs. We must be the first people to hear it spoken in hundreds of years." he cringed as she shouted some harsh-sounding words at him. "And if I'm understanding this right, someone needs to wash her mouth out with soap."

Mr. Moseby looked extremely uneasy, trying to move as far from Bailey as he could while their arms were connected. "Mr. Blanket, the key?"

"What key?" Mr. Blanket tapped his mouth with the end of his pen. "Tell me more about this key."

"It unlocks the handcuffs!" Mr. Moseby shouted in frustration.

"Oh, that key." Mr. Blanket said, then shrugged, patting his stomach. "Happy tummy."

Zack looked at him in disbelief. "You swallowed another handcuff key? Dude, all that iron can't be good for you."

Miss Tutweiller took pity on Moseby and moved toward him. "Here, Mr. M." she said nervously, pulling a bobby pin out of her hair. "Let me see if I can get this off you." Keeping an anxious eye on the screaming Bailey, she inserted the pin into the lock of Mr. Moseby's cuff and jiggled it around until it popped open. Both adults scrambled away from Bailey.

"Thank you, Emma." Mr. Moseby said, grateful and impressed. "Dare I ask where you learned to do that?" he teased.

Miss Tutweiller blushed. "Oh, well, I used to have this boyfriend who was really into-" She looked at the kids. "...Locksmithing."

Zack and Cody exchanged uncomfortable glances.

"Mr. Moseby?" London spoke up, oblivious. "Why did you call for a priest?" Then she frowned. "And why did we come? We're not priests!"

"I'm a priest." said a voice from behind her. "My name is Damien Anastos. How can I help you?" The speaker was a dark-haired, handsome man in his early 30s, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and sandals.

Mr. Moseby clasped his hands together. "How to say this? We believe that this girl is possessed and that she needs to be exorcised." he said quickly, motioning to Bailey.

Bailey's eyes opened wide at the sight of the priest. "Get away from me!" she crowed, in English. She fought harder and managed to free one of her wrists from Kirby's grip, flailing wildly and catching Zack hard on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Zack cried, rubbing his arm. He snatched Bailey's arm and held it tight. "She's stronger than you'd think."

"That's what I said!" Kirby responded.

Father Damien was watching with a concerned look on his face. "This is a highly unusual problem."

"You don't look like a priest." Cody said skeptically, folding his arms and sizing up the priest.

Damien looked down at his casual summer clothes. "Well, I am on vacation." he said with a small smile.

"You look young."

"I'm thirty-one." the priest responded.

"Finished college?"

"I graduated from St. Joseph's seven years ago." Father Damien confirmed. "Double majored in theology and psychology."

"Ever done an exorcism before?" Cody pressed.

"No," Father Damien admitted. "But then, not many people have."

Cody sighed, clearly not impressed with the qualifications of Bailey's only chance. "Can you save my girlfriend?" he asked finally.

"No one can! No one can!" the hysterical voice of Zaria taunted through Bailey's lips.

The priest ran a hand over his face. "Well, son, I don't know. The thing is, most "possessions" are in reality mental diseases. If this is a genuine possession, I'll need to get authorized by my bishop to perform an exorcism. And then there's the matter of the ritual- I have no idea what the success rate for exorcisms is." he looked around, seeing the pleading expressions on the faces of everyone in the room. "I promise to do anything in my power to help."

Bailey stopped thrashing for a moment and her voice softened. "Please try..." she croaked out in her normal voice.

Father Damien met her eyes. "I will."

Her face morphed into an expression of hatred and she threw up at Father Damien's sandaled feet.

Bailey opened her eyes and found herself staring at the ceiling. She tried to get up and couldn't. Panic overtook her as she realized she was incapable of movement. "Help." she rasped. "Where am I?"

Cody scrambled out of his chair by the side of her bed and moved into her line of vision. "Bailey? Is that you?"

Tears leaked out of Bailey's eyes and dripped down the sides of her face. "Cody..." she whimpered. "I can't move."

"It's okay." Cody soothed. "You're in a private room in the infirmary. You went into some kind of spasm and they had to sedate you. You can't move because you're strapped to the bed." he clasped the hand that was bound to her side in his.

"Can you unstrap me?"

"I wish I could, Bailey." Cody said, hating that he had to deny her. "I just don't want you to hurt yourself, or anyone else."

"You're right." Bailey said softly. "I hurt you... and I hurt Moseby, and Kirby... I don't want to hurt anyone anymore." She blinked and two more tears slid off her face. "I'm scared, Cody." she confessed in a whisper. "Will you stay with me? Even if Zaria comes back?"

"Of course I will. You couldn't keep me away." Cody assured her tenderly. He tentatively touched her face, wiping away the tear tracks. "I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, Bails."

She was unable to look down at their clasped hands, but she could feel the reassuring warmth of his touch and squeezed gently. "Me too." she said faintly. "I feel so weak."

"Probably the drugs." Cody said softly. "Don't worry, Bailey. Father Damien said that he can't perform an exorcism until they're sure you're physically and mentally healthy, so while you were out they did all sorts of blood tests and brain scans. As soon as the results come back he can get started."

"I think the drugs made Zaria sleep too." Bailey guessed timidly. "She's still here, I can feel her, but she's not controlling me anymore... I hate being trapped in my own body! Oh, Cody, I wish she was gone!" she said, beginning to sob.

"She will be soon." Cody reassured her, feeling tears prick his own eyes. "Bails... I'm so sorry, this is all my fault..."

"No..." Bailey whispered.

"I thought that making an archaeological discovery was the most important thing... I ignored all the warnings and legends, and now you're paying the price for my ambition... I'm so sorry Bailey."

"You should be." Bailey's eyes flashed and Cody suddenly found his hand in a grip of steel. "You stole my crown, you disturbed my slumber, and now this girl is in pain because of you. I can cause pain, Cody Martin." Bailey began to twitch and scream in her own voice.

"Stop it!" Cody shouted over Bailey's screams. "Leave her alone! Please!" he tried to pull his hand out of hers but her grasp was too painfully tight.

Bailey's screams stopped suddenly. "You know what else is painful?" Zaria said in a taunting voice. "Exorcism. If you really loved her, Cody Martin, you wouldn't put her through that. Loosen the straps. Let us go." Her hand crushed his even harder, bruising the sides of his fingers. Her nails dug into the back of his hand as she began to squeeze unbearably tightly.

"I won't let you go." Cody gritted out. "We're going to do an exorcism, Bailey will be free, and you'll go to Hell where you belong." he hissed in pain as blood began to trickle out of his hand where her nails were cutting him. "Do your worst, Zaria." he said bravely. "I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you."

Woody, Zack, and London stood anxiously nearby as the ship's middle-aged doctor, Dr. Christine Brown, explained her findings to Mr. Moseby, Miss Tutweiller, Mr. Blanket, and Father Damien. "Neither the CAT scan nor the EEG showed any type of abnormal brain activity, and we found no tumors that could be causing this abrupt personality change. Her organs are in fine working order, her body temperature is normal. Her bloodwork came back clean. Physically, she's healthy as a horse. Mentally... well, Mr. Blanket already gave his professional opinion, and I have to say I'm in agreement with him."

Mr. Blanket slid his arm around the ship's physician's waist. "Thank you, Christine."

She shook his arm off and glared at him. "I believe I've told you to stop doing that." She turned back to the group of adults. "The combination of symptoms you've described to me: undue aggression, sudden physical strength, voice changes, speaking in unknown languages... they're nothing I've ever seen before. And from what I've read..." She looked directly at the priest. "We may be looking at a legitimate demonic possession."

Father Damien nodded. "Thank you, Doctor. I was afraid of that. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to reach my superior again." He exited the infirmary.

"I don't suppose you've been able to contact Miss Pickett's family?" the doctor asked Mr. Moseby, who shook his head regretfully.

"Bailey always says the phone lines at her house are down more than they're up." Woody volunteered. "Especially during tornado season."

Doctor Brown frowned at the three students. "I understand that you are Bailey's teacher, Miss Tutweiller, and that you, Mr. Moseby, are acting in loco parentis until Bailey's parents can be reached. But why must these three be privy to Miss Pickett's sensitive medical information?"

Zack folded his arms. "Because we're the closest thing she's got to family on this ship."

"That's right!" London agreed. "She's my roommate. And I'm a Tipton."

"Ahh." said Doctor Brown in a tone of sudden understanding. "Well, please excuse us, Miss Tipton. We have a few more things to discuss." she ushered Mr. Moseby, Mr. Blanket, and Miss Tutweiller into her office. "Please tell Father Damien to join us when he's ready to begin with the proceedings." She closed the door behind her.

London sighed. "I wish there was something we could do to help Bailey. It just isn't the same having the cabin all to myself." Then she gasped. "I can't believe I just said that!"

Father Damien came up to them, looking uneasy. "I haven't been able to reach the bishop, or anyone else at the parish." he held his cell phone up. "And my cell is only getting two bars."

"Yeah, we tend to get lousy reception at sea." Zack sympathized.

"Wait, priests are allowed to have cell phones?" Woody asked. "Didn't you have to take some kind of oath? You know: 'no phones, no lights, no motor cars, not a single luxury'?"

Father Damien shook his head and smiled. "Yes, priests are allowed to have cell phones, son. And we aren't required to swear any oaths on the Gilligan's Island theme song."

"So, if you can't get permission from those other holy guys, does that mean you won't help our friend?" London asked the priest.

"Of course he'll help." Zack said. "It'll just have to be an under-the-table exorcism. Right...?" he nudged Father Damien with his elbow.

Father Damien looked uncomfortable. "Well..."

London put her hands on her hips and tapped the pointy toe of her stiletto. "I don't see what being under a table has to do with it. Then if he cures Bailey she'll just sit up and bonk her head."

Woody stared at her. "I think when you were a baby somebody bonked your head."

"Uh!" London gasped, affronted, holding the crown of her head.

"Kids, kids." Father Damien said. "The thing is, an exorcism cannot be legitimate without the consent of the Vatican."

"Well you can at least read the ritual, can't you?" Zack said insistently. "Zaria doesn't have to know it's an illegitimate exorcism!"

"I just don't want to do more harm than good." the priest said.

"What harm could it do?" Woody asked.

"If she's just mentally ill performing an exorcism could reinforce her delusions."

"Or it could act as a placebo and cure them!" Zack argued. "Besides, she's not mentally ill. Didn't you hear the doctor?" He met the priest's gaze directly. "She's possessed. I know it. I mean, I've seen The Exorcist like twelve times."

Father Damien appeared to be coming around to the idea. "You may have a point, Zack." he admitted. "I promised that girl I would help her in any way that I can, and I'd like to think that my vows wouldn't prevent me from doing that." he sighed. "You know, I've never seen The Exorcist. Does it have a happy ending?"

"Uh, yeah." Zack lied.

"Definitely." Woody said at the same time.

"It really does." London agreed.

The priest nodded. "Okay then. I'll do it." he walked over to Doctor Brown's office to inform the adults of his decision.

As soon as the door was shut, Zack turned to his friends guiltily. "It kind of has a happy ending."

"Father Damien might not think that." London snorted.

A/N: Thanks for reading. What do you think of it? Next chapter: the exorcism!