A/N: I struggled with this chapter for two reasons.
1) Trying to get the timeline right in my head - according to the dates given on the scene cards, this episode overlaps with 19x02, but that wouldn't make sense if Olivia is cleared at the beginning of this episode - which date-wise would be before her confrontation with Cassidy. So I decided to ignore the timeline for this fic.
2) Julie's comment on SVU about how Barba doesn't know what's going on with Noah YET, but he will. That threw me a bit as I had said I would continue this particular universe for my post-eps until I was directly contradicted by canon. It seems I have been but as it hadn't happened in the show I agonised over what to do. I decided to continue with my own little universe until something in an episode contradicts what I have written. At that stage, I will call this universe complete and create a new one.
Hope all that makes sense (and you're still with me) and you enjoy these missing scenes/extra bits from 19x03: Contrapasso.
"Benson." Olivia stepped away from the conversation with the ER doctor as she answered her phone. "Oh hi… "Thank you so very much." She could feel Amanda's eyes on her. That is great news… yeah… thank you, thank you very much."
She hung up to find the younger detective looking at her curiously. "The DA cleared me. They are closing the investigation of Noah's bruises." She exhaled deeply as she said it, relief flooding through her.
"Liv, I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
"Yeah well, happy ending at least."
Amanda nodded and followed Olivia into the waiting area. They found some seats and Olivia took out her phone and typed out a quick text to Rafael.
DA'S OFFICE JUST CALLED. CHILD ABUSE INVESTIGATION CLOSED. I'M CLEARED. XX
It was a couple of minutes before he responded.
GREAT NEWS. FINDING IT HARD NOT TO SAY, 'I TOLD YOU SO' THO. WE SHOULD CELEBRATE. DINNER TONIGHT?
She would have loved to have said yes, but Lucy couldn't stay late on Thursdays. She said as much in her reply.
NO PROBLEM. WE CAN DO DINNER AT YOUR PLACE. BEFORE OR AFTER NOAH'S IN BED. UP TO YOU.
She smiled at Rafael's willingness to include Noah.
BEFORE. HE'D NEVER FORGIVE ME IF HE FOUND OUT I'D DENIED HIM SOME RAF-TIME. HE ADORES YOU.
He responded with lightning speed. WELL, WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE? ;) SEE YOU TONIGHT. AROUND 6.30? X
Olivia bit her lip to stop her laugh escaping.
CAN'T WAIT X
"I've been thinking." Rafael said as he sat beside her in her office the next day, wiping mayonnaise off his fingers.
They were sharing a quiet lunch. He'd gotten out of court early and surprised her. It was nothing fancy – just a sandwich and a coffee but it was nice to see her during the day for something other than work. It was a fine line they were walking, balancing the professional and personal but both were determined to make it work. He'd even made up an excuse to explain his presence, but thankfully the squad room had been quiet when he arrived. Rollins and Carisi were out interviewing the victim about their possible leads, leaving just Fin. He was running background on their suspects and had barely acknowledged his arrival, if he'd noticed it at all.
"Uh-oh," teased Olivia.
He flashed her a mock glare. "Once this case is over, how about we do something special with Noah to celebrate the end of this DA investigation," he suggested
"What did you have in mind?"
"When I was tucking him in last night, he mentioned something about wanting to go to the zoo."
As expected, Noah had been delighted that Rafael had once again joined them for dinner and insisted that he read him a story and tuck him in. When Rafael had joined her in the kitchen where she had been washing up, she'd quickly popped her head in and bid her son goodnight with a kiss on his forehead.
She wondered if she should feel jealous that her son was always so excited to see Rafael and seemed to prefer his bedtime stories to hers, but that wasn't the case. Every interaction she witnessed between the two of them warmed her heart. She had been nervous about how Noah would take to the shift in their relationship and Rafael had respected that, keeping displays of affection to when Noah wasn't around. Although if their relationship was to go anywhere, it was only a matter of time before they would need to bring Noah into it.
Perhaps spending a few more full days together could help with that, ease Noah into the idea of Rafael being around more. Not that she thought he'd mind much. The two of them had some sort of mutual appreciation society going on.
"That'll be Bronx Zoo," Olivia said. "He's been dying to go ever since his teacher told him about a new sea lion pup that had been born there."
"Bronx Zoo it is then. God, I haven't been there in… more years than I care to remember."
"A regular visitor, were you?"
"Abuelita used to take me every year for my birthday. Even when I was at Harvard. She'd insist that I come home on the weekend closest to the actual day. It was our little tradition."
"If it'll be too painful for you, we don't have to." Olivia knew how much the death of grandmother still hurt, even now three years later.
"No, we'll go. It's a special place for me. I'd like to share it with you and Noah... if you'll let me?"
"Okay. If you're sure."
"I am. It'll be fun."
They were interrupted by Fin knocking on the door. He stuck his head in. "Rollins and Carisi are back." If he thought the scene in Olivia's office was odd, he didn't show it. Rafael wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not; Fin was a man of few words, but he saw a lot more than people gave him credit for.
"Did they get anything useful from Jason Karr?" Olivia asked.
"Said he's hiding something. Want a briefing?"
Olivia nodded. "Give me five minutes." She drained her coffee and turned to Rafael. "You want us to bring you up to speed, as you're here?"
"Why not?" he agreed, helping her clear up the remnants of their shared lunch.
By the time the rest of squad piled into Olivia's office, there were no hints of anything other than a professional relationship between them. Their lunch had been cleared and Rafael had put his jacket back on, and moved his chair back around to the opposite side of Olivia's desk.
Their tone was back on a professional level too. "The three women got together, twenty years after high school, and within a few hours, one of their teachers was found castrated in a hotel room," Olivia explained.
"What's the presumed motive?" he queried.
"It wasn't for giving 'em all Cs," quipped Fin, from his position behind Olivia's desk
"Given the nature of the injury, there's a sexual motivation behind it"
"Explains why Karr won't talk," added Rollins.
"Yeah, I can't prosecute the assault unless the victim makes an ID." Rafael knew this wasn't news to Olivia and the team, but they were exploring their options and he was happy to be their sounding board.
"Okay, well, how about we charge the three women with obstruction?" suggested Carisi.
Rafael barely managed to restrain his eye-roll. "For asserting their fifth amendment rights?"
"After they lied to us and obfuscated our investigation."
"Obfuscate. Yummy." He smirked, it was always fun winding Carisi up.
"Hold on Rafa." The smirk fell from his face as his nickname fell from Olivia's lips. He stared at her, unable to quite comprehend that she had called him that. Here. In her office. In front of the entire squad. She ignored the look of horror on his face and continued. "An obstruction charge would certainly leverage some cooperation. If you can't prove the crime, prove the cover-up.
"You'd have reasonable cause for an arrest," Rafael agreed as he rose from his chair, "but my advice is, get Jason Karr on board, or this train is going nowhere."
He exited the office without looking back at Olivia. He was trying to remain professional, not wanting to draw attention to the shift in their relationship, but it was difficult. They'd often parted company without a goodbye before but it felt too impersonal now that things had changed between them. He distracted himself with thoughts of their planned trip to the zoo.
Rafael barely made it five blocks before his phone began ringing. Seeing Olivia's name on the screen, he answered it and, without so much a greeting, began to chastise her the use of her nickname for him. "I thought we agreed you'd only call me 'Rafa' in private. I swear Liv, if Carisi starts…"
"Rafa…" Her voice was raw and rasping, she'd clearly been crying.
He was instantly on alert. "Liv? Are you okay?" He was terrified that something had happened to Noah or one of the team.
"Can you… can you come back?" she asked quietly. "Please?"
"I'm on my way Liv."
He made it back to the precinct in less than 5 minutes, his hurried pace betraying the worry swirling through him. As he entered the building, he spotted Trevor Langan striding towards him. It couldn't be a coincidence that Olivia had called him in tears and he was just leaving. Rafael walked directly into his path, forcing the lawyer to engage with him. "Liv's just called me in tears!" Langan tried to look everywhere but at Rafael and, in that instant, he knew that his instinct had been right. "What the hell is going on? She told me the DA closed the case so why..."
"They did. This is… it's something else. Something I can't talk to you about. You are not my client, Mr Barba."
"No, but I'm Liv's... friend."
Langan didn't miss the ADA's hesitation over how to describe his relationship with Olivia and suppressed a smirk. "Well then, I'm sure she'll fill you in." He side-stepped him and walked out, leaving Rafael stood in the middle of the entrance hall, hands balled at his sides in frustration.
He made his way up to the squad room and strode towards Olivia's office, ignoring Carisi's call of "Back so soon, Rafael?" as he passed him.
The door was firmly shut, and the blinds had been closed since he left. What the hell had Langan said to her? He entered without knocking to find her sat on the couch, head in her hands. His stomach clenched. Locking the door behind him, he shrugged off his jacket and sat down next to her.
She looked up at him, her make-up ruined and utterly inconsolable, and it occurred to him that while he'd seen her upset before but never on the verge of being completely broken. Not even during the ordeal of Lewis' trial.
"What's wrong Liv?"
She stared at her hands, unsure where to begin. Her eyes ached; they felt dry and gritty and there was a throbbing behind them. "I had a visit from Langan." She swallowed hard and lifted the document that was lying on the table in front of her. "Ellie Porter lied. Her mother is still alive.",
The paper shook in her hands. The look in his eyes pulled at him. He took the document from her and scanned the first few lines. "She's petitioning to have the adoption vacated?"
She blinked at him, as though still not quite believing it. "I can't lose him, Rafa. He's my boy."
"We'll fight this." He tossed the document back onto the table. "There's no legal basis for this."
"That's what Langan said, but I've seen cases like this before…" She stood up and began pacing. She couldn't stop thinking about a case she and Elliot had worked several years ago, where a judge had vacated an adoption after twelve years when the biological father had discovered he had a son.
"Liv…" He didn't know to say. He wanted to tell her that she definitely wouldn't lose Noah, but they didn't know that. New York was one of the few states that permitted grandparent visitation after a child was adopted. If this went in front of the wrong judge… well, there were no guarantees in the legal system. She knew that just as much as he did. Even if he'd tried to assure her of what would happen, she had too much experience to believe him.
He stood, reaching out and grabbing her arm. "Come here." He pulled her to him and settled back against her desk. He settled her between his legs and let his arms loosely circle her waist.
Olivia let herself be held; she needed it. Professionalism be damned. The blinds were closed, and the door locked, they were in their own little bubble and it felt so good to be in his arms. Her hands found his shoulders and, in the bunching of the muscles beneath her hands, she knew he wasn't as unaffected as he appeared to be. She studied him closer. He was furious. She could see it in his eyes. He was every bit as angry as she was.
"How about we get out of here for a bit?" he suggested after a few moments.
"I can't just leave in the middle of the day, Rafa."
"Sure you can. You just get up and walk out. Easy."
"And go where?"
Rafael looked at his watch. "We could fetch Noah from school and take him to the park for an hour." Seeing her son was what she needed right now, and it wouldn't do him any harm either. "Are you really needed here right now?"
She shook her head. "No, but I will have to come back later. Fin, Rollins and Carisi have gone to arrest our suspects for obstruction."
Rafael rolled his eyes. "Really?! Carisi's ego is going to need pruning soon if you carry on like this."
Olivia's lips curved into a smile. "You're just worried that if with his law background, I won't need to come to you for advice anymore," she teased.
Rafael scoffed. "Hardly. Fordham v Harvard. There's no contest." His words alone would have sounded harsh, but there was a mischievous glint in his eye.
She stepped out of his embrace and began to gather her things. Her son was waiting.
"That was one hell of a closing argument," Olivia praised, as the courtroom began to slowly clear. She hadn't had the chance to speak to him in the intervening hours since, while the jury were deliberating; she'd been called to 1PP to discuss their latest crime figures. "Next time though, it would be nice to have a bit of a warning. Some of what you said, it upset Evelyn."
"It won us the case though."
"It did, and she understands why you said what you said. But even I was a bit worried when you first started."
"I hadn't planned on any of it. Not until Ms Rivers said what she did. How's Evelyn now?" It was a question he wouldn't have asked five years ago. But Olivia made him look at cases differently. Made him care for the victims, not just the convictions.
"She's… thinking about her own court appearance now, but she's pleased with the jury's decision."
He began to pack up his briefcase. "If only she'd told someone back when it happened. It didn't have to be this way,"
"No, it didn't." Olivia agreed. They'd seen it too many times. "But every case we win, especially ones like this, give people strength to come forward with their own stories. We are making a difference Rafa, one case at a time." After their drink at Forlini's the previous night, she felt he needed another gentle reminder or why they did what they did.
Rafael nodded. "And with every case we win, we change things for that victim." It was a speech he'd heard her give a thousand times before and he knew, deep down, it was true. It was just that some days finding a positive in their line of work easier said than done.
"Listen, if you've no plans tonight… do you maybe want to come over for dinner? I promised Noah pizza, but we can always order something else if you'd prefer. And if you stayed over, we could get an earlier start in the morning." They had decided to keep to their plan of taking Noah to the zoo. Although neither felt much like celebrating anymore, they'd agreed that it would do them all good to go out for the day – a distraction of sorts.
"I can't," he said regretfully. "I'm having dinner with my mother."
Olivia nodded understandingly. "Tell her I said hello."
"Yeah, because that won't elicit any awkward questions."
"You ashamed of me?" Olivia joked.
He glanced around the courtroom checking they were alone. He reached out, running a hand down her arm and taking her hand. "Never. I'd just like to enjoy this for a bit without my mother latching onto it and making… plans. Besides, I thought we were keeping this under the radar."
"Out of the squad room," she told him, "but not out of the open." She interlaced their fingers. "If you don't want to tell your mother about us because you think she'll start planning a big, white wedding then that's fine but don't keep it from her because you think that's what I want. I'd never ask you to do that."
Rafael nodded. "I'll see how the night goes. If the conversation goes the right way…" He dropped Olivia's hand as he picked up his briefcase. "Who knows, by the end of the night you may be Lucia Barba's newest obsession."
Olivia laughed as she followed him out of the courtroom.
Later, as Olivia sat curled up on the sofa, nursing a glass of Cabernet and trying to shake off the feelings that Sheila Porter's unannounced visit had evoked, she received a text from Rafael.
TOLD MAMI ABOUT US. SHE'S IN FULL-ON CUBAN MOTHER MODE - SHE WANTS TO MEET YOU AND NOAH. I'M ONCE AGAIN RESISTING THE URGE TO SAY, 'I TOLD YOU SO'
Olivia watched as Rafael effortlessly lifted Noah onto his shoulders as the two of them make their way back to her by the meerkat enclosure. He manoeuvres the little boy with natural ease; a far cry from the first time he'd held him. Rafael had offered to go and buy them all a drink – the day was warm (for October) and they were all feeling a little thirsty after walking so far and taking in almost half the exhibits – and Noah had insisted on going with him. Olivia normally packed drinks and snacks from home as she hated paying the extortionate prices charged by the zoo's cafés and shops, but she'd been called into work the previous evening so she hadn't had the time. As Noah and Rafael got closer she noticed Noah was carrying something in his right hand; something that definitely wasn't a drink.
"Look what Raf bought me!" Noah exclaimed holding out a plush elephant for her to see.
"That's lovely, honey," Olivia replied before levelling Rafael with a raised eyebrow. "It's an odd-looking drink though."
"We got drinks too," Rafael explained as he lifted Noah off his shoulders and placed him carefully on the ground, allowing him to run off into the playground. "They're in the bag."
"And the elephant?"
"To get to the café you have to walk through the gift shop and well… you saw how entranced he was by the elephants earlier."
"You're spoiling him," Olivia gently admonished, unable to believe that the great Rafael Barba has fallen for one of the oldest sales tricks in the book; strategic product placement. "If you're going to be in Noah's life then you need to learn to be strict and say no to him. He can't always have everything he asks for."
Rafael held up his hands in surrender. "Woah. He didn't ask, okay." He hadn't planned on telling Olivia what had transpired between him and Noah in the gift shop, but it seemed he didn't have much choice now, not if he wanted them all to enjoy the rest of the day. "We were talking about the elephants while we were waiting to pay for the drinks and he asked me if what the zookeeper said was true, that the female elephants are left looking after the babies because the males just don't want to stay with their children. I told him that it was, and he said that meant that the two of you were a little bit like the elephants." Olivia's eyes widened; Noah had never spoken about not having a father, but clearly, it had been something he had thought about. "I agreed," continued Rafael. "I told him that, just like you, the mommy elephants love their children very much and they work very hard to look after them and keep them safe."
Olivia felt tears gather in her eyes. "Oh, Rafa."
"I bought him the elephant so that every time he looks at it, he'll be reminded of you," Rafael continued. "Of how strong you are and of everything you have done, and are still doing, to protect and care for him."
Olivia glanced across the playground, checking that Noah was suitably distracted before reaching for Rafael's hand and allowing their fingers to interlace. "Thank you," she whispered. "What you did, what you said to him…" her voice trailed off as the tears she had been holding back all day began to flow.
"Liv?" Rafael pulled her gently to him, wrapping his arms around her. "Liv, sweetheart, what's wrong? Talk to me. You've been out of sorts all day."
"Sheila Porter turned up at my apartment last night," she mumbled against his shoulder.
"What?!" Rafael pulled back to look at her, but his hands remained on Olivia's shoulders. "Why didn't you call me?"
Olivia shrugged. "I was going to, but you were with your Mom. I didn't want to ruin another dinner between you. If this relationship is going to go the distance, it would be nice if your Mom actually liked me. Besides, it wasn't a big deal, not really."
"My mother will love you," Rafael assured. "So, what happened?"
"I was putting Noah to bed – we were re-reading Peter Rabbit for the hundredth time – and there was a knock at the door. Noah thought it was you." Rafael raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Well, he didn't say it explicitly, but when I asked if he'd invited someone over, he said no and said that I had. You're the only one who's been over in the evenings recently."
"He's a smart kid. What did Ms Porter want?"
"She introduced herself and told me she wanted to 'make me aware' that she was in the city."
Rafael's brow creased as he considered her words. "Did she ask to see Noah?"
"I didn't give her the chance; I closed the door in her face. Luckily, she went away."
"How the hell did she get in in the first place?"
"Probably took advantage of one of my neighbours going out." She felt the disapproval in Rafael's gaze. "Like you have done several times," she reminded him.
"It happened by chance on a couple of occasions, but I always had reason to be there. And your neighbours know me. Maybe your landlord should have a chat with your neighbours about letting strangers into the building or something…"
"We can't all live in a building with a doorman. It was fine, she left without incident."
"And next time?" he challenged.
"Need I remind you that I'm a lieutenant with the NYPD, I'll be fine." Rafael rolled his eyes at her dismissive tone. "If it makes you feel better, I am going to speak to Langan on Monday. See what our options are regarding a restraining order. I don't hold out much hope as she's only approached me once, but I need to make sure I've done my due diligence."
"I'd feel better if Langan wasn't such an incompetent buffoon."
"He made a mistake, Rafa." Olivia had been angry with him too. But after some reflection, she realised that if they had discovered Sheila Porter's existence during the adoption process, she'd probably still have tried to take Noah back. The situation wouldn't have been much different, except for the fact that Olivia's legal position would have been weaker.
"Still." He had another thought. "You'll make the school aware too. And Lucy." He wanted all bases covered.
"Yes. Now, can we please change the subject? We're having a wonderful day and I don't want this… 'situation' to spoil it.
"Okay," agreed Rafael. "Here's a new subject for you. My mother has invited you and Noah to brunch."
Olivia's eyes widened. He'd said in his text that his mother had wanted to meet her and Noah, but she'd taken it as more of an abstract wish. She didn't realise there had been a specific invitation. "Brunch? When?"
He nodded. "Next Sunday, after Mass. She suggested tomorrow, but I managed to convince her it was a little short notice. I can still put her off if you'd rather not."
"N-no. That should be fine."
"Liv, you don't have to-"
"No, I'm looking forward to it. Honestly. I was just surprised at her eagerness, that's all."
"I told you, she's gone into full-on Cuban mother mode." The smirk that appeared on Olivia's face made Rafael feel uneasy. "What?"
"I was just thinking about all the embarrassing stories she must have… and wondering how much persuasion she'd need to bring some baby pictures," she grinned.
"Dios me ayude," Rafael muttered, as Noah came running back.
"Look Momma, ice-cream!" he exclaimed, pointing at a kiosk further down the path.
"You've already had a lot of sugar today Noah," replied Olivia, thinking of the syrup covered pancakes he'd had for breakfast. "And too much sugar is bad for you."
"But it's really warm and ice cream will help me keep cool. Isn't that right Raf?"
When Noah looked up at him and put on his cutest face, complete with puppy-dog eyes, Rafael realized that this was the perfect opportunity to address some of Olivia's earlier concerns. To show her that he can say 'no' to Noah.
He reached into the bag and pulled out a bottle of water, handing it to Noah. "I'm sure this will do the job just as well," he told him. "And it's much healthier."
Olivia watched the scene with great interest, pleased to see that Rafael has taken on board her concerns. However, knowing just how easily Noah can wrap him around his little finger, she decided to intervene. If Noah was given the chance to pout or cry, Rafael would probably have given in. She flashed a quick, reassuring smile at Rafael, before addressing her son. "Hurry up and have your drink sweet boy," she said, taking a swig from her own water. "Then we can go to the sea-lion enclosure."
Her words had the desired effect. Noah's focus shifted from ice-cream to the new sea-lion pup he'd been so excited to see. When he'd drank his fill, Noah handed the bottle back to Rafael with a smile and took his hand. Olivia took hold of Noah's other hand and together, they walked towards the sea-lion enclosure. Rafael sighed with relief. Noah hadn't fallen out with him, and Olivia had seemed pleased him. They have overcome that particular hurdle. If only the others they faced would be beaten so easily.