Kim had been fighting the tall blue alien—the kind the human soldiers called "elites"—when she experienced a disorienting shift, accompanied by a sudden flash of light. This time her vision and hearing cleared up much more quickly than the last time, and she found herself in a dark alley at night. The graffiti characters written on the battered, paint-stained wooden fences and walls indicated she was in a Spanish-speaking area.
Then she heard a voice in her ear, coming from a small microphone near her left ear.
"Fisher, we've scheduled a meeting with our contact in the Spanish embassy, one Sheila Gomez. She'd been posing as an ambassador from Portugal, and has information crucial to our operation. She's waiting several blocks north of here. The rogue elements in the Spanish army have gotten a little antsy, so watch out for any armed guards patrolling the streets. You are authorized to use force if necessary. Just don't startle Gomez; she's been acting pretty nervous lately, and we don't need her acting up."
Kim still hadn't figured out exactly what was going on, but she decided she'd play along with this sitch too.
She was about to set off to find this 'Sheila Gomez' character when she heard another voice in her ear. It was Wade's.
"Kim, are you there? Can you hear me?"
"Yeah, I hear you Wade. What is it? What's going on?"
"I think I've figured it out. Remember what happened the last time you and Ron went after Drakken when he stole the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer?"
"Yes. It got plugged into the cable by accident, so when it was activated we were all sucked into the TV."
"Right, so it's the same thing here, only this time you were sucked into Drakken's GameSphere."
"His what?"
"His GameSphere. It's a video game console."
"You mean that thing Ron and Felix are always obsessing over?"
"Yeah, that thing. From the looks of it, this is Splinter Cell: Nightfire, and you're Samantha Fisher, an NSA field agent. It's a great game, you should try it someday."
Kim rolled her eyes in the dark. "Well, it's looks like I'm trying it out firsthand today."
"Whatever," Wade replied. Kim could tell by the tone of his voice that he was smiling to himself. "I'm thinking we'll pretty much do the same thing we did last time: get everyone in one place and plug up an open vortex with something. Boxes maybe. Then I'll pull you out."
"In the meantime?"
"I'll try and find Ron. You just play along. Excuse the expression."
Wade hung up and Kim began to sneak down the alleyway, keeping to the shadows. She has night vision/thermal goggles on, trifocal ones. They helped her to navigate in the dark, so she figured they'd help her stealth factor since she didn't need a flashlight, but she couldn't help but feeling they looked ridiculous on her.
"Ahh! It's Doctor Drakken!"
"Buffoon! I knew you were the cause of this. You must've knocked over the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer when we were fighting. You must've activated it! And now we're trapped...somewhere."
Drakken and Ron looked around and saw they were in an underground tunnel dimly lit by torches on the wall. The walls were roughly hewn stone, as if it were a mine. Water dripped from stalactites as the stone formations continued their aeon-long journeys to reach the floor (something that Ron noted he could do quite easily—one more thing to add to the list of reasons he was glad to not to be a stalactite).
Something shiny near Drakken caught Ron's attention; or rather, something shiny on Drakken.
"Oooh, nice shiny metal shirt you got there Dr. D. We in the middle ages or something?"
Drakken ignored the failed an silly attempt at a insult. He was more preoccupied with something behind Ron, lurking in the shadows.
"Uh, what's your name, Stoppable? There's something behind you..."
"What, is it a giant monkey? Because if it is it'll be the second time today and I'll be really—"
Ron turned around. It wasn't a monkey.
Ron momentarily stopped breathing as he took in what he saw before him, namely, what looked like a giant centipede. It was about as big as a large dog, at least in its height (it was much longer of course). Large spines reared out of the purple armored plates on its back, thousands of tiny legs supported its snakelike body, and several sets of tentacles slithered up from the carapace protecting its neck. Its head was a toothy maw dripping with sludge and slime, and Ron saw what looked like multiple tongues inside its mouth. Two foot-long eyestocks completed the image.
"That's not a monkey," he said softly to Drakken.
The thing roared and lunged at Ron. He dodged, and took off with a fright, Drakken in hot pursuit. Ron was aware of the chainmail armor he was wearing, but after seeing that thing's mouth, he knew it would do no good. Frankly it was slowing him down more than anything else. He didn't have a weapon, and neither did Drakken, so that left him to simply do what he did best: run and scream and flail his arms. Not such a bad option, compared to the alternative.
Ron and Drakken continued to run through the tunnel, zipping around corners, dodging boulders, and doing whatever they could to get away from the monster that was chasing them. Pretty soon they came upon a large cavern.
They knew they had reached one when Ron ran through exited the tunnel, entered the cavern, and stopped himself just as he was about to go over a ledge. He started to breathe a sigh of relief, as he hadn't fallen in. He was cut short when Drakken, who had lagged behind a bit, was unable to stop himself and slammed into Ron instead, sending them both flying over the edge. The centipede didn't fare as badly, and instead of following them into the pit it crawled around the edge and circled them.
The room was circular. A ledge, seven feet up and too high for the two to reach, circled the central pit of the cavern, which Ron and Drakken had fallen into. Several more tunnels like the one they had stumbled out of opened into the room, but they were all on the ledge and, again, too high to reach. The room itself was about thirty feet in diameter.
Unfortunately for the two boys, more of the centipede-like creatures were pouring out of the tunnels above the ledge, and said ledge was becoming increasingly filled with the things. The dramatic thing to say would be that Ron was beginning to grow worried, but unlike a big bad tough action hero, Ron was far past worried. He'd been "worried" since Russia.
"Um, Stoppable? What's that over there?"
Drakken was pointing to a glimmering object that was lying in the pit with them. Ron ran over to it. He reached down and picked it up. It was a sword.
"Huh. I wonder what this is doing here," said he.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, it's just strange that this sword is lying here. Usually when I find a sword in a dark cave like this—and believe me, I've seen a lot of swords in dark caves—it's usually -by- something, you know? Like maybe a skeleton, or on a special pedestal. But this is just here."
"Hmm, you're right," Drakken mused. "It's just lying here. Look, it's perfectly centered in the pit. It's almost like..."
"...Like some unfathomable outside force is looking after us, placing weapons for us. Like weapon spawn points in a video game."
"An interesting analogy, Mr. Stoppable. 'Like in a video game.' "
The gurgling and roaring produced by the centipede monsters reached a crescendo. They looked like they would descend upon them at any moment. Ron took this opportunity to wave his sword around like an idiot.
"Back! Back you evil monsters! I've got a weapon and I know how to use it!"
"No you don't you buffoon! I've played plenty of fantasy games in my day and I can tell you from experience that that is not how you swing a sword."
"Really?" Ron turned back to Drakken, a befuddled look on his face. "This is how they always do it in the movies."
"Are you kidding me with that? You'll cut your arms off it you keep that up. Pah, movies. Don't teach you anything these days. World of Warcraft is a far better teacher at—look out!"
Ron had been distracted by Drakken's scolding and hadn't been paying attention to the giant purple monster that was sneaking up behind him. Frantically he swung the sword at the monster, rather clumsily I might add, and caught one of the creature's eyestocks, chopping it clean off. The creature recoiled violently, green blood spurting out the the missing appendage. It began to sputter and cough blood from its mouth, its strength fading from it ugly purple body. It was dying. Ron had found a weak spot.
A grin spread over Ron's face. "Boo. Yah."
"Fisher, you're nearing the location where you're supposed to meet the contact. It's just around that corner. No guards in sight. Remember, handle her carefully. Good luck."
Kim creeped around the corner, eyes wide open, keeping them open to spot any signs of trouble. She had always kept considerable stock in the accuracy of electronic equipment, but years of combat and close encounters (I.E. walking into an ambush) had taught her that you always have to keep your guard on, no matter what the electronics tell you. Machines break. Eyes don't.
Kim remembered why she always kept on her guard when the alley was suddenly awash with green light.
"Well well well, if it isn't Miss Samantha Fisher."
"Shego? You're Sheila Gomez?"
The green-skinned villain melted out of the shadows. "Well, that's not my real name, but it's pretty much the role I've taken up here."
"Where've you been?"
"Blasting zombies. Fun, but not as fun as blasting my favorite little princess."
Shego lunged at her, fists alight. Kim managed to catch her in midair, kicking her in the stomach and shoving her into the wall behind her and knocking her down. Shego wasted no time in getting up off the ground, but stopped when she saw what was strapped to Kim's thigh.
"Princess," she purred, "since when are you packing?"
Kim smiled at her adversary's discomfort. "Since I became a field agent for the NSA."
It was Shego's turn to smile. "Oh yeah? Well I've got a little something too."
Shego pulled an MP5K out from the inside of the coat she was wearing and began to empty the clip in Kim's direction. Kim's combat senses kicked in and she ducked and and rolled out of the way, dodging the lightning-fast projectiles. Abstractly, she admired that Shego had been able to effectively fight with the submachine gun hiding in her coat.
Finally the weapon ran out of ammo, and Shego replaced the magazine. Kim laughed.
"You're at almost point-blank range and you still can't hit me, Shego? That's pretty bad."
Kim saw an expression of embarrassment and anger flash across Shego's face momentarily, but it was quickly dispelled. Kim knew she had hurt her pride. Good. She was clumsier when she was angry.
"I missed you on purpose, Kimmie. Shooting's just not my style." The gun dropped to the ground.
Kim motioned her to come forward. "Bring it on."
Then a white pulse came, and they each found themselves in another place.
Suddenly, Ron wasn't in a cave anymore. He was on a mountaintop, a tall one peeking out of the clouds. The peak was flat, and wide enough to accommodate two people engaged in hand-to-hand combat. In fact, that's exactly what it was: a fighting arena.
Ron blinked. He was standing in a combat stance, or what passed for one in his case, hands extended as if he was holding a sword. But he had no sword. Ron was disappointed.
"Aww man. Just when I got to the good part."
"Yeah, I know. I was about to tear the princess limb from limb."
Ron spun around. "Shego!"
Shego smiled and stepped forward. "You won't be as fun as Kimmie, but you'll do."
She lunged.
HOLD IT.
Shego, startled by the loud, booming voice that reverberated throughout the mountaintop, completely fumbled her swing at Ron, and she crashed to the ground. Ron found the voice annoyingly familiar.
"Oh boy. It's you again."
HEY GREEN LADY, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ATTACK RIGHT AWAY. FIRST YOU HAVE TO STAND ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ARENA AND GIVE A WITTY LINE OR SOMETHING WHILE YOU GET INTO A COOL COMBAT POSE. THE CAMERA PANS UP ON YOU ALL DRAMATIC LIKE, THEN RON HAS TO SAY HIS.
"Ooh ooh, so this is like a combat arena?" Ron said. "And then after that you go three two one, fight?"
YEAH, EXCEPT IT'D BE LIKE...THREE...TWO...ONE...FIGHT.
"Yeah, but you gotta put extra emphasis on fight. Here, let me try: Three...two...one...fight!"
OKAY OKAY, SO LIKE THIS...THREE...TWO...ONE...FIGHT!
"Perfect. Oh yeah, you got it man."
COOL. THANKS. YOU'VE BEEN A BIG HELP.
"Hold it," said Shego, having picked herself up from the ground for the second time in ten minutes. "We have to go through all these silly motions before we fight?"
"Of course we do."
YEAH PRETTY MUCH.
"This is ridiculous. I'm not doing it. I'm not taking part in this stupid nerd ritual."
"Come on Shego, you have to do this. It's how it's done."
YEAH MAN, IT'S HOW IT'S DONE.
Shego frowned. "Okay fine, she said out loud. Then she muttered to herself. "I'd never have to do this with the princess. At least she has some sense."
Shego walked over to her side of the combat arena. "Alright Stoppable," she said as she struck a dramatic combat pose. "Time to put the hurt to the dirt!"
"Aw come on Shego, that was terrible. That didn't even make sense, and I'm sure you could've come up with a better insult."
YEAH MAN, THAT WAS TERRIBLE AND I'VE SEEN SOME PRETTY CHEESY STUFF IN MY TIME.
Shego was now genuinely pissed. "Well you know what? Screw you! Stoppable, you're going off that cliff."
"Wade, can you hear me?"
"I read you loud and clear Kim. You've been transported to another game. This one's called T.E.R.R.O.R."
"Terror?"
"No, T.E.R.R.O.R. It's an acronym for the name of an agency division. It stands for something, but I forget what it is. All I know is that it's really cheesy and nonsensical. But it's a great game anyway."
"Anything special about this one, or is it just another generic bloody shoot-em-up?"
"Concentrate on your reflexes."
Kim was in a factory complex, and the building she was immediately in was a warehouse. It was a large room, but seemed smaller due to all the boxes and crates inside, which were lined up in neat rows. Kim was dressed in a SWAT officer's armor, but instead of saying SWAT all over her armor it said TERROR. For the third time today Kim felt completely ridiculous.
She concentrated. She walked through the rows of crates, her gun positioned in front of her. She knew better than to take off her armor here and now as she had heard gunshots nearby. Her armor made her a slow target, and she figured if she was to be a slow target, she'd rather be an armed slow target.
She continued to concentrate. Suddenly she felt a rush to her head. Her vision warped and blurred. Everything around her felt slower, and she realized that this would help her react to dangerous situations faster and easier. She pulled out of it. Things came back to normal.
"Woah."
"Cool, huh? Your reflexes in this game can seemingly cause time to slow. Get the hang of it, but don't use it too much. You can't do this indefinitely."
"Got it."
Kim proceeded to pass through the rest of the room and to enter the next, where she came upon a strange sight. It was Drakken on his hands and knees, looking underneath a crate that was elevated by a pair of two-by-fours.
"Come here little pink rat thingy, whatever you name is, I just want to pet you!"
"Drakken?"
"Bah! Kim Possible!" Drakken was startled, especially since she had walked in on him in such an embarrassing position. He immediately stood up, and disgruntled chittering came up from underneath the box.
"Is that Rufus?" Kim inquired.
"You mean the bald rat? Why yes, yes it is," Drakken replied, nervously twiddling his fingers.
"Rufus, come here. It's Kim."
The bald rodent darted across the floor and into Kim's hands. She made sure he was okay before putting him into one of the many pockets in her pants.
She turned to Drakken. "Drakken, do you know what's going on?"
"Ah, well, I guess it has something to do with the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer. It's probably the buffoon's fault, he always gets me into trouble.
Kim raised an annoyed eyebrow. "Yes, that he does." She turned away from her archfoe's employer. "Wade, what's the ETA on getting us out of here?"
"I've managed to find Ron. He's in a Japanese fighting game with Shego, and, well, he's losing. I'm trying to pull him out now."
Kim winced. "Well hurry up, I don't want him hurt or anything."
"Alright, I'm working on it. I just have to—"
A deafening explosion rocked the room, interrupting Kim and Wade's chat. She shut off her comm headset. Boxes tumbled to the ground, Drakken ran into a corner, and Rufus squealed with fright in Kim's pocket. A large mechanical beast, about twice as tall as Kim and armed to the teeth, burst forth through the newly-formed hole in the wall. It caught sight of Kim and brought around its rocker launcher-laden arms and pointed them at her and fired. Kim's time-slowing reflexes kicked in and she barely dodged a salvo of missiles with a cartwheel. The things passed by slowly, and she could almost make out the individual smoke particles as the rockets drifted past her legs. Then all at once time shifted back to normal. Kim completed her cartwheel as the rockets crashed against the wall behind her, detonated, and splashed rubble all over the floor. Kim brought her rifle out in front of her and emptied the barrel into the robot. The effect on the machine was minimal. A couple of the bullets made small dents in the thick metal plating, but other than that, nothing.
The beast started reloading its launchers as it advanced on her. Another few seconds and it'd be firing at her again. Kim unconsciously backpedaled and stepped on something on the ground. She glanced down—another gun, this one different from the M-16 she was holding. She looked up and noticed that the machine was done reloading its rocket launchers. It pointed at her and fired. Kim kicked in her reflex ability again and acted quickly. Ducking under the missiles, she picked up the gun, brought herself up again as the missiles passed overhead, and fired the weapon, all in one fluid motion. Time came back to normal again. Six simultaneous explosions rocked the building behind her, sending her flying forward. She kicked herself up over the robot and landed on her feet, firing all the way. The machine turned around. She realized something. The bullets had penetrated the robot's armor. 'Oh yeah,' she thought to herself, 'I can work with this.'
Her momentary excitement was cut short by one of the now-familiar pulses of light.
Shego charged and hurled herself at Ron. She swung her fist at him, barely missing as he ducked under it. Green fire crackled where his head had been a mere split-second before. If he hadn't moved it'd have been pulverized.
Ron took the initiative and kicked Shego in the belly, landing his first blow against his opponent. Shego stumbled back. After regaining her balance she launched herself at Ron once more. This time she fared better, landing a mercifully unlit fist in his left cheek. Ron flew backwards and hit the ground hard. Shego leaped into the air and prepared to smash him into the ground with her knee. Ron knew he couldn't get up in time, to he squeezed his eyes shut and prepared to meet her wrath.
Luckily for him, it never came.
After about fifteen seconds of nothing, Ron chanced to open his eyes. He wasn't on the mountaintop anymore, and Shego wasn't about to beat him into the ground. Ron had been transported into an icy canyon. It was snowing. Ron's first snowy encounter immediately came to mind, but this one was different. There were no buildings around, except for one far off in the distance...he couldn't make it out. It was too far.
Ron also noticed that he was wearing a heavy suit of armor, and carrying a rifle. The same suit of armor and the same rifle, dear reader, that Kim was wearing and carrying when she first entered this universe of video games.
Ron noticed something familiar about his rifle. He hefted it in his hand, looked at it, observed its detail. The he realized what was happening.
"Wait a sec. Is this...is this Halo?"
You see, Ron hadn't realized he was in a video game until now. All of the games he'd been in up till now (Beyond the Call of Duty 2, Fake Tournament 2004, Dungeons of Battlegear, and Ultra Super Smash Ninja Ultra Japanese Fighting Game XXXTREME XL-7 XIV) he was unfamiliar with, but not Halo. Halo he'd played and enjoyed. It was actually his favorite game. (Well, okay, his third or fourth favorite—the Zombie Mayhem series tops the list for him, but personally I think Halo beats out any zombie smasher. Sorry Ron.)
"So if this is Halo, I've been running around in video games? Sweet! Booyah!"
Ron took off as fast as he could towards the building he had seen—what he now recognized as a Forerunner installation—that he had spotted. With Ron's new cybernetic implants and powered armor he could arrive in no time.
Kim found herself in an all-too-familiar situation fighting all-too-familiar enemies. She ran into an opening in the monumental Forerunner building—the same one Ron has seen—firing off her rifle at a red-armored elite as she went. The alien's energy shields flared as the bullets bounced and ricochet off of them. It roared at her, and shot a few plasma bolts at her as a return gift.
Kim made it into the building without getting hit. She was in a wide, high-ceilinged room inside the structure. It was well-lit, but by what she couldn't tell. The metal walls—metal, although they looked more like stone to her—were decorated with intricate patterns, and alien hieroglyphics were painted on them in some places.
After taking cover behind a pillar in the alien room, Kim contacted Wade.
"Okay Wade, I've taken cover inside a building. The creatures—"
"They're aliens. Covenant," Wade interjected.
"Alright, Covenant. The Covenant haven't come in here yet, so I'm safe for now."
"Ron's still on his way. I zapped him here, but I kind of missed by a couple miles. You got Rufus?"
"Yeah, he's right here." Kim patted the sack she was carrying over her shoulder. Rufus was inside. He had been shivering from the cold when they were outside fighting in the snow, but the inside of the building appeared to be heated.
"Alright, good. Hmm, Ron seems to be a running a little faster than normal. I'm tracking him, and it looks like he'll arrive in about a minute. Of course, he is a VIKING-II wearing DURANDAL Mark IV battle armor, so he should be running fast."
"Hey, why didn't I get super strength or anything?" Kim whined.
"Maybe your armor's defective. Then again, you haven't been pushing it to the limit either."
"Touché," Kim replied, looking up as she heard echoing footsteps coming from the entrance. The building's automatic doors slid open. Kim didn't see who had entered, so she didn't take any chances. She burst out from her cover, rifle at the ready.
"Master Chief? Is that you? Can I have your autograph?!"
Kim couldn't see who was behind the mirrored faceplate, but she recognized the voice. She unpolarized her own faceplate, allowing Ron to see her own face.
"Ron, it's me."
"Oh. Uh, sorry KP. I thought you were someone else. Way to greet your best friend by pointing a gun in his face."
"Sorry about that Ron, but that's not really important right now. Wade says were stuck in a—"
"A video game, I know KP. I could recognize an elite honor guard anywhere."
"Okay, yeah. It's just like what happened the last time Drakken stole the Pan Dimensional Vortex Inducer, when we got stuck in the TV. Wade says he can zap us out, but we need something to plug the vortex with."
"Hmm, we could use boxes, but there are no boxes in Halo. Only crates. Crates don't work as well as box for that kind of thing."
"Why no boxes?"
"Don't know. Probably Noguchi got mad at everyone when they mentioned boxes. Anyway, I've got an idea. We plug it up with grunts."
"Grunts?"
"Yeah, grunts. The short little aliens that squeal all the time and wear those triangle things on their backs? Those are grunts. They're like boxes only louder and they carry plasma pistols. Anyway, we just have to pick them up and throw them in."
Kim and Ron heard a wooshing sound coming from the door—a telltale sign that it was opening. Then they heard a whine followed by a sizzle—a telltale sign that an alien had fired a plasma bolt at them and barely missed.
Kim and Ron got into action mode. Ron weaved over to the side, pelting the alien—a seven-foot-tall red-armored elite—with bullets as he went. Kim jumped forward, tackling it. Her shields flared as a stray shot from Ron's rifle hit her.
"Ron! Friendly fire!"
"Sorry KP! These things aren't as easy to use as Master Chief makes them look!"
The elite was knocked down, and KP took this opportunity to empty a clip into its stomach. She has no moral qualms in taking out a virtual being.
Ron suddenly found himself being assaulted by another being, a Covenant brute, an alien taller and more muscular than an elite. It looked rather like a large gorilla with a blue helmet and a bandolier strapped across its torso.
The creature was in close melee range, so it abandoned its plasma rifle in favor of its enormous strength, and lunged at him. Ron bolted out of the way, dodging the brute's assault. It came at him again, swiping at him with its huge hairy arm. The blow connected.
Ron was sprawled to the ground. Eyes closed, he got up on his hands and knees. He put his hand down and felt something. Something round. A plasma grenade.
Kim ran over to the scene. She tried to interfere, but Ron stopped her, pushing her away. The brute seemed to have a personal vendetta against Ron, and it ignored her.
"KP, I need you to do something," he said as he stood up and began to dodge another brutish (pun intended) attack. "Well, I need you to say something actually."
Kim was puzzled, but she gave her assent.
"On the count of three," Ron said as he discharged his rifle at the brute, "I need you to say—" he jumped away from another swipe of the animal's fist and shot again. "I need you to say, 'Bet'cha can't stick it.' "
Kim nodded, confusion plastered across her face.
"Okay. One."
The brute lunged again.
"Two."
Ron kicked it in the chest, his DURANDAL-enhanced strength helping to knock the brute to the floor.
"Three!"
The brute stood up.
Kim opened her mouth to speak. "Bet'cha can't stick it."
Ron lifted the plasma grenade he had picked off the ground and clicked the timer. He hurled it at the brute. The sapphire blue grenade stuck to its face. The brute looked surprised for a moment, then it roared furiously. Ron had stuck it.
FWOOM
The brute's face erupted into a blue explosion, knocking the thing up almost to the ceiling. Its body crashed down to the floor, making a soft thump. It wouldn't be getting up again.
Ron pumped his fist into the air and yelled, "Booyah!"
Kim couldn't help but giggle.
The door opened again. About twenty grunts trotted into the room, chattering in an alien tongue. They looked nervously around. The aliens were exactly what the two friends needed.
Ron picked up the fallen brute's plasma rifle and walked over to the grunts. One of them ventured to shoot at him, but he struck a mean pose, and cowered them into submission. He stood between them and the door. There was no escape.
Kim activated her comm built in to her helmet. "Wade, open the vortex."
"You got it, Kim."
There was a white flash, one not as intense as previous ones out heroes encountered, which further startled the grunts. A swirling blue portal appeared in the center of the room. It wasn't as big as the one the two friends had encountered during their adventure in the telly, and this meant the twenty grunts would be able to plug it up all the way.
The two friends advanced on the aliens. Ron ventured to pick one up. He threw it into the vortex like a football. "Hey, this is fun KP," he said. "We could make a game out of this."
"Now Ron, don't be mean to the poor little guys," Kim said as she picked one up and placed it into the portal. "We only need them to plug up the vortex."
"Come on KP, these are the guys who want kill all of humanity."
Kim held up one of the grunts and made a small pout. "Does this look like the face of a genocidal killer to you?"
The two finished rounding up the grunts and putting (or in Ron's case, tossing) them into the vortex. Kim turned on her comm and contacted Wade. "Okay Wade, beam us up."
There was a momentary flash as the two disappeared.
They reappeared back in Drakken's lair, back in reality.
"Hmm, wow KP, that was some adventure."
"Yeah, I know. I got into a gunfight with Shego."
"You got into a gunfight with Shego? Aw man, that beats all of my adventures. You should've seen me though, beating up Nazis, smashing around giant space monkeys with my backhand, slashing my sword at these weird centipede thingies...oh yeah KP, new worst fear, centipedes. Man those things are creepy, way worse than monkeys. Hmm, I wonder what Drakken and Shego are doing now. Hey Kim, hand we that GameSphere controller, willya?"
Drakken and Shego happened to be wandering through the same war-torn battlefield Ron had first encountered—Stalingrad, Russia.
"Where are we, Dr. D?"
"We're in Russia, Shego. I happen to be Russian myself, and as such I have an innate attunement with all things Russian."
Drakken spotted some soldiers marching through an alleyway. Spotting the telltale hammer-and-sickle insignia on their uniforms, he ran over to them.
"Comrades!" said he in a very contrived Russian accent. "How do I get out of this village?"
One of the soldiers turned toward him. Drakken immediately recognized his blond hair and the buffoonish look on his face.
"In Soviet Russia, village gets out of YOU!"