A/N: J: Yes, we did chapters 2 and 3 at the same time.
L: It means more hugs!
J: And reviews… Hopefully. Oh, and please excuse the J. in the first chapter's diclaimer.
L: We meant to write J.K Rowling.
J: And we're not making any money-
L: Obviously. It's called , not …
J: Is that really a website.
L: Dunno. I don't really care either.
J: We should leave these poor civilians to read in peace!
L: Alrighty then. Please enjoy.
Jas POV
"The Dark Arts are very dark." I spluttered at Dr Grease's (Sevvy Snape's) remark.
"Something wrong Miss Cummings?"
"Yes, I just swallowed a fly." Steph, followed by Fred and George started to hum the 'There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly' song. They were stopped by Dr Grease's evil stare.
"Gosh sir, if you wanted to be so evil, why don't you just join the Dark Arts yourself?"
"Detention, Mr Weasley."
"Which one?" Fred and George said in unison.
"Both. Saturday." Snape snarled.
"Sir! That's Twinist!" Fred yelled.
"No!" Steph yelled at the same time.
"10 points off Gryffindor."
"Sir! That's…. that's mean! How dare thy!" I pointed my finger accusingly at Snape. Everybody gave me strange looks. I say thy, okay? So just shut up!
"I believe I'm the teacher here, Miss Cummings?"
"No shit…" I murmured.
"So, we must learn to conjure spells without speaking."
"Been there, done that, got the T-shirt…" Steph muttered.
"Really?" George asked. "What does it look like?"
"George. It's a saying." I put my hand on Georgie's shoulder.
"Yeah George, get it right!" Fred dissed his twin.
"No, Fred. Just…no." I turned to Fred. He hung his head in shame.
"Everyone get into pairs, one doing an attacking spell and the other shielding. In absolute SILENCE!" God, he needed to take a chill pill. Steph and I got into a pair (obviously) me doing a spell and Steph blocking. Not really, though. Me mastered this last year. We just mimed it this time (so it looked like we were trying). I got bored after a while (I usually do). I thought that a trick on Steph would lighten everybody up (it usually does). So I mentally said stupefy. Steph flew backwards about 10 meters and crashed on top of Fred. She was hyperventilating. She stood up. Her face was red and her hands were shaking.
"Oi!" she yelled. She flicked her wand. I suddenly felt like I was on fire. I was laughing so hard it hurt. I couldn't breathe.
"STOP… I did… cardio-pilates…last…night…" All my upper abs hurt like hell. It stopped as soon as it started. I collapsed… Stop right there! I did not faint. I just collapsed. I looked up after gaining my breath back again. George was on top of Steph, laughing. I laughed too, but it hurt. I winced. Fred laughed too. Steph looked very mad, but after a while she laughed too.
"Miss Gregor and Miss Cummings. Are you finished?"
"Y…Ye…Yes sir." Steph spluttered. Millions of spit particles flew everywhere. George took a step back.
"Then detention." My mouth fell open. "Tonight at 8."
"No sir!!!" Steph was distraught, then I remembered. "Doctor Who re-runs are on!!!" Steph didn't mean the latest Doctor Who, she meant the retro Doctor Who.
"Doctor Who sounds inferior, you'll just have to live without it."
"Don't worry Steph, my Macbook can record it." I assured mon worried amie.
"What's Doctor Who?" George questioned. Steph's jaw dropped three meters. (Well, not really. Just emphasising.)
"You don't know what Doctor Who is? Go shoot yourself in the foot!" Poor Steph. She'd never met anyone who didn't know what Doctor Who was. (especially a Brit).
"You should watch it with us." I suggested. "Tomorrow night."
"It's a date!" George said with a wink. The bell rang.
"Homework is an essay on why non-verbal spells have an advantage, due Friday." Damn! Homework! I looked at my timetable. Score! Free period now!
Steph POV
Dear Diary,
Potions is so much fun! I know it makes me sound like a nerd, but Potions is probably my favourite subject. We get to make the coolest stuff (today we are doing Felix felicis, or the luck potion. It improves your luck for a day!).
Stared at Fred earlier (completely by accident, of course. I wasn't thinking about him when I was staring…. Well, okay, I was, but so what? I'm allowed to have a crush, right? It's not like I'm in love with him…right? Right?). Fred stared back. We got into a staring contest. I won, so Fred had to give me 10 sickles, but, I told him to keep it. I read in this Yoga book, that if you do one nice thing a day, something nice will happen to you. I suppose that the nice thing that happened to me today was… err… It was… we'll get back to that.
Oh crud! I left my potions book in my bedroom! Bollocks, Jas forgot her copy too! Wait! There appears to be a solution… Jas is now getting one of those crappy 2nd hand books from the storeroom. She said there was only one copy left, so we're going to have to share. Hang on a second… Oh my God, that is so cool! This book comes with cheats! What the hell is Sectum sempra supposed to mean? Maybe I can try it out on Draco 'Dracula' Malfoy tomorrow. It's bound to do something. Oh my God. The Half-Blood Prince? What kind of pansy calls himself the Half-Blood Prince? Oh my God, maybe Hogwarts has a superhero who runs around in a cape. Tights and Y-fronts. Perhaps it's Harry Potter. He always looked the hero-type to me. Dunno why. I'll read Hogwarts: A History when we get back to our dorms. Maybe that'll have something about the HBP.
We've got detention tonight. I can't wait. (tone of sarcasm). I think I'd better stop being sarcastic. The Yoga book says it's not good for your feung shui. Okay, from now on I will not be sarcastic. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Got a note from Jas:
Are you okay? You look like you are hyperventilating.
Sent note back:
Yes, Jas, I am fine. I was just breathing deeply, to calm my inner spirit.
Jas replied:
Well, don't breathe so loudly. You sound like Darth Vader.
Got a note from Fred, too:
Alright there, Stephie? Are you having an asthma attack, or something? Hope you're feeling better. Love, Fred.
Replied to Fred:
Fred. Yes I am fine, I was just breathing. You know, it's that thing people do to survive? I thought you'd heard of it, but obviously I was wrong.
Got letter back:
Well, sorry. You know I luurve you with all my heart and soul, and I've fancied you ever since we met. I want us to get married and have a little Fred Jr. But if you don't want that, then whatever.
Hang on a second… That's not from Fred… I looked over and saw George laughing madly. Jas was laughing as well. They air high-fived each other. Oh God. Sending note to Jas:
That was totally slack, Jas! I do not love Fred! I like him as a mate, okay? AS A MATE!
I got a note back. From Fred this time:
Why did George just pass me a note, saying that you 'luurve' me and want to get married?
Oh my God! Those mischievous meddlers! They changed their note so it looked like I wrote it to Fred!
Dear Fred, it was George and Jasmine. I think we need to get revenge. They did it to me too. Any ideas?
I magicked it directly to Fred, so George and Jas couldn't meddle anymore. Got a note back. It read:
We could…
Slip Veritaserum into their morning tea, to make them confess that they fancy each other
It was a good plan, but it seemed a little risky. Let's see what else there is:
Lock them in a room together for five years until a child is born.
Yuck. Let's see number three:
Get them together 'accidently'. Like, lock them in a broom closet so they snog. Or give them a candle-lit dinner until some kind of completely disgusting emotion is spewed up and they confess their love for one another.
That third one isn't half bad… Better send him a note back:
I like the third idea, but why are all the plans to do with getting them together?
Received letter back:
Because:
You're a hippy or something, aren't you? I thought you'd appreciate using love as a form of revenge.
George seriously fancies Jas. Like, really, horribly, fancies her. He asked me the other day if he thought they'd make a cute couple. No joke.
They actually would make a cute couple.
He's right. They would make a cute couple. Wait… hippy? I'm not a hippy! Well, I guess I did read that Yoga book… and I do like using love as revenge (I'm too soft to hold grudges. Or maybe I'm just too lazy. I'm not bothered to decide.)… Plus I am a vegetarian. Oh my God, I'm a hippy. Actually, this is surprisingly cool. And… surprising. Sent letter back:
Okay, we'll go with plan three. Time for operation: get Jas and George together 'accidently' so that they subtly realise their feelings for one another. And fall in love.
Fred:
That's a big title.
Me:
It's a big plan.
"Excuse me, Mr Weasley and Miss Gregor."
"You're excused, sir." I said, without thinking.
"EXCUSE ME?" Professor Slughorn was slowly turning crimson.
"Ohh… bollocks." I swore. I didn't even realise I'd excused him. It was completely involuntary.
"10 Points off Gryffindor!" Professor Slughorn roared. I groaned.
Fred:
Cheer up, Stephie. It's not that bad. Once, George and I lost 60 points. In the one lesson.
Me:
Snape?
Fred:
How did you know?
I was about to reply, when Slughorn gave me a warning look. Oh well. I suppose I'd better re-write my Top Ten Favourite Subjects list, because Potions is now officially number 10 (DADA is 11.) Slughorn keeps looking over at me and whispering stuff like "No respect…" and "The cheek of some people…". It's not pleasant. At all. Suppose I'd better go now, or Slughorn will probably deduct, like, 100 points from Gryffindor.
Tatty bye bye.
Stephanie.
A/N: J: (Again!) Hello everyone!
L: Just popping round to see how you are…
J: …and to see if you have any recommendations for Steph and Fred's evil plan, to get Jas and George together.
L: So please review. I'm going to author my own hug, since I'm the only person to review:
Lilridinghood7 ran up to everyone-
J: You can't do that!
L: I can so!
J: How about Monnie? She didn't even say who she wanted to hug.
L: She can have a hug from everyone! [Monnie then gets a hug from everyone.]
J: Aw…. Oh and if you are not into guys, then we have some girl options too….
L: Ginny, Hermione, Cho, Luna… and Fleur.
J: And McGonagall. Who has so kindly offered to hug anyone….
L: Cya's next time!