It couldn't have been more then a few hours later. Adrian was sitting in his wife's room. She had finally fallen asleep again. He knew that wouldn't be for long because she would always wake up with nightmares. Little did he know how bad the nightmare was going to get. A soft knock on the door was heard.

"Come on in," he said

It was one of the doctors.

"Mr. Monk," the doctor said, "a word please?"

"Sure… which one"

The doctor sighed.

"We need to talk," he amended

He led him outside.

"Is something wrong," he asked

"I wish I could say there wasn't but then I would be lying. We just got back your wife's HIV test. I'm afraid the test came back positive"

His heart pounded in his chest making it feel like it was racing at 80 beats per second.

"No," he yelled, "that can't be. She's young. She's healthy. She never would… it's not fair"

"I know it isn't fair Mr. Monk. I have a cousin in the same position that your wife is in. I'm sorry. I wish I could do something to make this better. If it helps HIV is not a death sentence like it used to be."

"Do me a favor," he said, "don't tell her"

"What? Why not?"

"She's been through a very punishing experience without even having done anything wrong. She's tormented enough by what's going on. I don't want her to suffer more"

"She's going to need treatment if she's going to have a chance at rallying"

"Then give her the treatment," he said firmly, "do whatever you need to do but without hurting her"

The doctor nodded.

"We can do that," he said, "but don't you think she's going to wonder why you can't… you know be with her"

"I'm not going to stop being with her," Monk said catching the doctor's drift, "because she's sick"

"You would be risking a lot"

"Let me tell you something," Monk replied firmly, "when I married her it was for better or worse not just for better. It was in sickness and in health not just in health. You know what, if I go through these struggles then I go through these struggles. It doesn't matter to me. She's the only thing I care about right now."

"Well okay but you still have to stay at your best for her sake"

"I know I do and I will… but that's secondary. She's the most important part of my world. She is my world.

"I understand that," the doctor empathized, "and if I seem unsympathetic I'm not. It's just in medical school we were taught that it's important to keep things in prospective so we can be the most helpful possible"

"That's not a correct sentence"

"Huh?"

"Y-you said the most helpful possible. The correct way to say it is, "It's just that in medical school we were taught that it is important to keep things in prospective so we can be as helpful as we possibly can be"

"Well," said the doctor in a tight but friendly tone, "I'll be more careful about my grammar in the future"

"Thank you"

"You're welcome. I'm sorry if I seem a little out of sorts. My life is sort of upside-down right now"

"No I understand," the doctor acknowledge, "when your world is turned upside-down you need something you can cling to"

Adrian was walking back to Trudy's room after her first treatment when he passed Leland again.

"Monk did you find out anything"

"Not now Leland, I can't concentrate on this right now"

"It may take your mind of things"

"Take my mind off- no… it's not going to take my mind off things. Leland…"

He lowered his voice so there wasn't a chance of Trudy hearing him, "the HIV test came back. She's got a disease that will probably kill her. They're trying some new treatment now which involves…" he shuttered to think of it

"Oh," Leland said touching his shoulder, "I'm sorry Monk. I didn't realize it was that bad"

Tears flowed from Adrian's eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so angry lately"

"Why the hell not? Your wife was raped. You have a right to be angry"

"I just don't understand why this is happening to her. It's not fair. Why should she have to go through all of this? I'm sitting there watching this… doing what I have to do and I feel so god-damn…"

"Helpless. The word you're looking for is helpless."

"It does make me feel helpless and angry. GOD I just want to get mad at those people that are hurting her"

"Yes but you need to understand they're not hurting her. They're saving her"

"I know that up here," he said pointing to his head, "but in here…" he put his hand over his heart, "It's a different story. Those treatments are so painful and she only had one so far"

"Didn't they put her to sleep?"
"P- what is she a dog?"

"I didn't mean put her to sleep like you would put a dog to sleep," Leland explained patiently, "I mean give her something to make her fall asleep while they do the treatment so it isn't painful"

"Oh of course but she has nightmare when she's asleep. She can feel it… I know she can"

"She probably can. It just eases things. But you know what… as hard as it is and I KNOW it's hard… harder then anything's that has happened before… this is necessary."

Adrian sighed. He knew his friend was right..

"Do you remember what you told me about 4 years ago… when I was going through a tough time?"

"I told you a lot of things"

"Yes. Yes you did but you said one thing I will always remember. You said "keep your head hold high… stand up as proud as you can and let every thump roll like water off a duck's back"

Adrian smiled

"I do remember telling you that," he said

"And what did I do," Leland continued

"Um…"

"I held my head up high stood up as proud as I could and let every thump roll like water off a duck's back"

"Yes but you weren't also raped and beaten by some stupid-ass jerk, given HIV and-"

"No I wasn't and believe me I would do anything to turn back the hands of time and stop this. However we can still take the bad things and turn them into things that are good"

"How can I do that?"

"You know the answer to that Monk"

"Leland I'm going to help as much as I can with the Jennifer case but I don't know that I'll be able to concentrate much and I certainly can't give my attention to anything or anyone but my wife while she's awake. I mean do you realize how quickly things are changing? Do you realize how quickly things are going to have to change even more? This wasn't planned"

"Actually it looks like it was… by the jackass that did this anyway"

"If that were funny I would have laughed"

"It wasn't meant to be funny Monk. This guy is a real slim-ball"

"Yeah I pretty much knew that when he RAPED MY WIFE"

"I know you're upset," the captain said, "I'm as upset as you"

"Really? Are you the one who's wife has HIV?"

"No… but she's one of my best friends and she's Karen's best friend Once again Monk with great difficulty checked his anger.

"I know," he said, "I'm sorry. It's just killing me that this is happening to her"

"Stop saying you're sorry GOD DAMNIT. You have a right to be angry. Your wife was raped and a part of her died. She got a disease that is killing her and the treatment that may or may not cause her to rally is physically and emotionally painful for you to watch and for her to go through"

"I know. I feel like I'm being selfish"

"You're allowed to be selfish sometimes. Your name isn't GOD!"

"I know but-"

"I sure as hell am mad and she is just my friend. I can only imagine how raw you must be at the moment"

"But the situation-"

"There's time for that later," the captain said, "you just go take care of your wife right now"

"Hey Leland?"

"Yes Monk?"

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"Thank you for being my friend"

"Hey," Leland said, "thank you for being mine"

"How do you do it," Monk asked, "How do you… do it?"

"Do what?"

"Get mad," Monk asked, "It feels awful to do"

"Of course it feels awful to do," Leland replied, "but sometimes it's something you have to do. You know, I always said when I was under Powers that when I got to that level I would never be like that. I always said I would be cool, fun-loving, always a good friend, able to relate to people-"

"But you are like that Leland"

"And I always said I would never get mad. I said that getting mad is not necessary and what's the point in acting in a hurtful way"

"This is different though," Monk said, "it's literally not a choice"

"That's my point," Leland replied, "right now you're going through hell. I think it's almost worse for you then it is for her"

"Almost? Did you know I won't let them tell her that she's got HIV?"

"Why?"

"Do you really think she needs to know this right now? She's been raped, beaten, could be p r e g n a n t, plus we don't know for sure that the first test was right. I'm making them run it a second time. What if the first test was wrong? What if she really doesn't have it?"

"What if the second test is wrong," Leland asked, "they have to test 3 times every time they get a negative."

"Exactly. Why give her nine months of agony and worry. They have to test every 3 months."

Leland sighed

"You're right," he said

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Monk said angrily, "not to my Trudy"

"I don't think it was supposed to happen to anyone. It definitely wasn't supposed to happen to Trudy. I am so sorry you're going through this Adrian"

"Thanks… I appreciate the support"

Later on Trudy was asleep. The doctor had given her something and he told Adrian that she would be out for the rest of the night.

"But she has nightmares," he told him

"I know but sleep is crucial to her survival"

Adrian checked his watch. It was 7 o'clock. Less then 24 hours ago their lives were perfect.

"Any results on the new test"

The doctor sighed.

"It's inconclusive," he explained, "we'll have to test again in a few days."

"What?"

"The test wasn't accurate," the doctor told Adrian, "it just showed 8 out of 17 markers"

"But the first doctor told us-"

"He's a resident," the doctor acknowledged, "and I'll have a strong word with him"

Adrian nodded.

"We did however get the results of her pregnancy test back"

"Was it positive or negative?"

"It was positive. She's definitely pregnant"

Adrian blinked.

"I know this is a tough situation for you. You have several options"

He nodded.

"Well visiting hours are almost up. I'm afraid you can't stay with her tonight. You can come back first thing in the morning though"

"Why can't I stay with her?"

"Hospital rules," the doctor explained with a sad smile, "when someone goes through this type of treatment they need to be in a clean room for 12 hours"

"You ought to appreciate that," the captain said earning a look from Monk.

"Sorry that was just my attempt at humor"

Just then Ambrose got there.

"Knock, knock," he said

"Who's there," Adrian joked back

"How is she?"

"Um… well she's sleeping right now"

"I can see that," he said, "I meant how is she doing"

"She's pregnant," he told his brother, "

"And?"

Ambrose could sense Adrian had something on his mind

"We can talk about it when we get back to my place," Adrian said, then mouthed I don't want her to know yet.

Ambrose nodded

"What's in the bag"

Ambrose looked down.

"I-it's a gift I have for her"

"Oh that's really sweet. What did you get her?"

"Comedy. A series of books, DVDS and CDs. It seemed an appropriate gift"

Adrian smiled at his brother.

"She will really love that," he told him

"You hungry," Ambrose asked his brother

"You know I didn't realize it," Adrian said, "but I am"

"Me too," Ambrose replied, "I noticed there was a diner right across the street"

Adrian sighed inwardly. He felt guilty about going out to eat while she was being fed through a feeding tube.

"I don't think I should eat," he said

"Why not"

"How can I eat when Trudy's being fed through a tube"

"Adrian, you have to keep your strength up for her sake," Ambrose pointed out.

He sighed again knowing that his brother was right, hating that his brother was right.

"You can't be punishing yourself for what happened to her"

"I'm not," he said

"You are," Ambrose corrected, "come on… we'll talk at the restaurant"

Across the street at a restaurant called Water-House the two brothers sat and talked.

"So what's going on," Ambrose asked

Adrian sighed.

"The HIV test came back. It was positive"

"Positive… isn't positive good," Ambrose asked

Ambrose was smart but not always quick.

"Not in this case Am… it means that she may… and most likely does have HIV"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR," Ambrose whined

"Yeah… don't I know it"

The waitress came over

"Hello… my name is Katherine and I'll be your waitress today. How may I help you"

"Can you turn back time," Monk muttered

"He's having a bad day," Ambrose explained

"Personal problems," Katherine asked gently

"You might say that"

"I did say that"

"MY WIFE WAS RAPED AND SHE MAY BE DYING," Monk said, "if you really need to know"

"I'm sorry," Katherine said, "the same thing happened to my sister"

"It sucks doesn't it," Adrian asked, "sucks isn't even the word for it"

"It's awful," Katherine acknowledge, "you feel so helpless."

"I feel helpless… scared, angry wanting to cry wanting to get mad…"

"I felt the same way when it happened to my sister"

"Is she okay now?"
"Um… sure"

"No… for real is she okay now"

Katherine sighed.

"Clowee died last year. AIDS took her life"

Adrian felt his heart drop to his chest. HIV turns into AIDS.

"Look," Katherine said picking up on his fear, "not every situation is like that. If problems are caught on time they can very easily… well not very easily but they can be fixed. I know things change and that's not exactly the best news ever but this is a necessity not a choice"

Adrian nodded

"And I understand that," he acknowledged, "but it doesn't make it any easier"

"Of course it's not easy. If it was easy it wouldn't be hard"

Adrian smiled at the comment from his brother. Ambrose always knew how to make him smile.

"So," Katherine said, "what can I get you to eat?"
"Um… okay a bowl of soup and French fries not too well done and not undercooked."

Katherine wrote that down.

"What kind of soup," she asked

"Oh… Sea Food Bisque"

"Ah… my favorite"

"You like Sea Food Bisque," Ambrose asked, "I like Sea Food Bisque too"

"Wow that's so cool," Katherine replied, "I can't believe we both like the same soup"

Adrian rolled his eyes. Oh to be that innocent again. That would be great. It was his life less then 24 hours ago.

As Katherine left to get their orders Ambrose turned to Adrian.

"You know you're going to have to tell her sooner or later," he pointed out, "she might suspect something when the baby comes down with-"

"Of course I'm going to tell her," Adrian replied, "but not until there's something to tell. The test may have been wrong"

"I know," Ambrose replied, "but they also could be right"

"Which is why I'm going to wait till there's something to tell before I tell her"

"Are you going to at least tell her about the baby"

"No, I thought I'd wait till she gives birth," he said sarcastically, "of course I'm going to tell her about the baby"

"It's probably got to be your baby," Ambrose said, "the test result wouldn't come back positive so soon if it was the raper's baby"

"Could you not say that word so casually?"

"What word"

"Raper. It's not a causal thing"

"I know. I'm sorry. What happened was terrible. It was scary. It probably was the worst thing that could ever happen. I just meant to say that the baby is probably yours"

"It doesn't matter who's it is," Adrian said, "Trudy will love it"

"Will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Will you love the baby"

Adrian paused for a moment before answering that question.

"Yes," he said, "I would definitely love the baby. I think I would have an easier time loving him or her if he or she is my baby not the baby of that… thing"

"That's understandable," Ambrose pointed out, "but do you think in time you will grow to love the baby even if it isn't yours"
"I know I will. I just don't know how"
The waitress came over with their food. Adrian barely ate his. He just picked at it.
"Adrian don't you think you should eat"

"I can't," Adrian said, "Trudy's being fed through a feeding tube"
"Listen Adrian I know what you're going through. Don't you remember a few years ago when that situation happened where I had to act quickly. I could not believe what I did after all was said and done but I literally had to."
"I remember. You were like freaking out. Actually it's ironic the way things resulted if you think about how that sort of stuff usually goes"
"Yeah but the fact that I touched that… I was freaking about that for awhile," Ambrose said laughing, "that was the first of many numbers of things I freaked about"

"Yes but you had to stay strong because you were the one that had to be in control at the time"
"That right. What good are you going to be to her if you can't be in control of yourself"
"Okay I get the point," he said eating a little bit more.
"Thank you," Ambrose said, "that's better"
Adrian looked at his brother. He knew his brother was right.
"I guess you're right," he admitted
"I KNOW I'm right," Ambrose replied firmly, "just like I'm always right"
"Always?"
"Yeah always."
"You can't always be right"
"Why not?"

"Simple. If you were alwaysright that would mean you were never wrong. If you were never wrong you wouldn't be human. Now Ambrose you're an amazing brother and you're my best friend but you are human"
"Okay well I'm always right but I'm not never wrong"
"How can you be always right but not be never wrong"
"You just can that's all"
"How can you?"
"Like what happened the other day that time for example. Was it right of me to do what I did?"
"Absolutely"
"In normal circumstances would it have been right of me to do what I did?"

"Fourteen years ago it would have been"
Ambrose chuckled.
"Okay fourteen years ago is a long time ago. Or that time that I got mad was I right to get mad"
"You were 100% right Am," Adrian said, "but that's between us"
"I know," Ambrose said, "and thank you for backing me up on it"
"Why wouldn't I," Adrian replied, "you were right. If you were wrong I wouldn't have but you were right but again that's between us"
Ambrose laughed causing Adrian to laugh and then he felt guilty about laughing because of Trudy's condition.

"Adrian it's okay to laugh," Ambrose told him
"Not when my wife is in critical condition"
"She's not in critical condition anymore. Even if she was in critical condition you aren't going to be any good to her unless you take care of yourself. Whoever did this has some major issues"
"Why would anyone do that," Adrian said slamming his hand down, "this wasn't supposed to happen"
"I can agree with that," Ambrose said, "it definitely wasn't supposed to happen"
"Who does such a thing," he said frustrated again, "it doesn't make sense"