[AN] so, you might not have guessed by now, but this story is going to be a giant cluster fuck of love triangles. I still haven't figured out who's going to end up with who, so I'd love some feedback about what your favorite pairing is. it doesn't have to be Light x L, or Light x Mizuki. I'll be reintroducing some characters that should have been killed off in the manga/anime for this purpose, and then I'll probably just kill them again. just remember that so far, there is no official pairing in this fic. c; anything can happen!

lastly, I'm sorry for another disappointing chapter. like I said on chapter two, I haven't yet been able to fit all the pieces together (insert gay Light/L pun) but I have everything sorted out. This is a puzzle, after all, so every thing should hopefully fall into place. I just pray that you bear with me...

Life Note
How to Use

VII

● One page taken from the Life Note, or even a fragment of the page, contains the full effects of the note.

● The instrument to write with can be anything, ((e.g. cosmetics, blood, etc.)) as long as it can write directly onto the note and remains as legible letters.

● Even the original owners of Life Note do not know much about the note.

Chapter 3: Heaven, Voracious

40... 39, 38, 37, 36, 35, 34, 33, 32, 31...

Every second is agony. Every night is painful. Light's not sure whether this ritualistic habit lessens the affliction, or if it just makes things worse. He's been doing this for the past six months, never taking a single night off, so there is no data to compare against it.

30... 29, 28, 27, 26, 25, 24, 23, 22, 21...

Why? What's the point? Every time he does it, without fail, he inevitably regrets picking up the pen again just to write down that name. That letter. It's too late. Once a name is written down in the Death Note, there's no turning back.

20... 19, 18, 17, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11...

Unless you use the Life Note, that is. Light's used that note in various experiments to test its power, has found it to be rather useful in certain situations, but he's never utilized it to counter this. That's because he's killing someone who's already deceased. He watched the light fade from this person's eyes, watched their pale lids close and tasted the last breath that left their half-parted lips. It was marvelous.

10... 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2...

The final second is always the most difficult, but he doesn't have time to revel in its passing before his stomach is shot with sharp, biting pain. It's cold. This is physical, and its unlike anything he's felt in such a long time. Light can't even recall the last time he even stubbed his toe on the foot of a desk, or hit his elbow off a counter. He hasn't felt physical pain in so long, especially not like this.

"One."

Mizuki punched him. There's a slight chill left behind on the skin of his abdomen where her fist met. It had felt like he'd been hit by a block of ice, a glacier.

"What are you doing!?" Light coughs out, along with a thick mixture of blood and phlegm. It leaves small blotches on the hard wood flooring, stains his hand and trickles down his chin. He collapses onto his side, the couch that he was sitting on catching his fall, and instinctively curls his legs up as though trying to block out the pain. He's too preoccupied with confusion and agony to be angry right now. She wasn't here a second ago. It's like she materialized out of the air.

Mizuki's furious. It resonates from her like light from the sun.

"I just punched you," she remarked matter-of-fact, and her earlier narrow eyed, jaw clenched expression has already vanished. "Now I'm going to drink a little." And by a little, she means down at least one hundred ounces of liquor. Luckily, she always seems to have some on hand. She hovers over to the kitchen, floating a little bit higher so that she can reach the top cabinet to retrieve four twenty five ounce bottles of strawberry vodka, holding two in each hand, and places them on the counter for easy access. She easily pops one open with her teeth, watching Light as he struggles to sit up.

'He's so pathetic...'

"Stop with the games," Light wheezes, finally in a sitting position, though his forearms are on his legs, supporting him as he crouches forward. Refusing to look down, he stares at her in the eyes with fury and shock, and she stares back with nothing. "What did I do to piss you off?"

Mizuki takes a long swig of the liquor, savors every drop in her mouth. She drinks to feel human. She does a lot of things to feel human. "You exist."

There's a long, impenetrable moment of quiet until Mizuki takes another sip, loudly gulping it down, loving the way it makes her throat burn and her tongue tingle. A bit trickles down her chin, and she catches the bead of liquid with her tongue. Light's entranced. "Did I offend you? Are you upset because I'm wasting my time writing down the name of someone who's been long dead?"

Mizuki arches a brow, wondering where he's going with this. "Tell me what your theory is," she says.

After another few but long seconds of deliberation, Light answers. "You're angry because it's his name that I'm writing down." It's going to hurt to say it, will burn almost as much as the alcohol Mizuki's drinking, but he says it anyways. "L Lawliet." His name is a ghost that haunts them always, and no priest can exorcise it.

"I suppose you can put it that way," the female admits, staring down the glass and reading its labels. "What is your reasoning for why I feel like this?"

The reply is automatic. "You empathize with him," Light murmurs thoughtfully. "Though to be honest, I don't know why. L was evil. I knew him, you didn't."

"You're wrong."

"What do you mean?" Light asks as he wipes the blood from his mouth with a tissue from the coffee table.

"I know L Lawliet. I've known him longer than you had, and I know him better than you did." Mizuki polishes off the bottle pops open another, hoping to distract herself from Light with the sting of liquor.

She spoke in present tense. 'She has known him. She knows him.'

Something's eating at Light's insides, something he swallowed down a long time ago, and it's trying to escape.

L is alive.

Life Note
How to Use

VIII

● You may also write the cause and/or details of survival prior to filling in the name of the individual. Be sure to insert the name in front of the written cause of survival. You have about 19 days (according to the human calendar) in order to fill in a name. Of course, this only works if you know how the individual is destined to die.

● Even if you do not actually possess the Life Note, the effect will be the same if you can recognize the person and his/her name to place in the blank.

As usual, Light rises with the sun. He keeps the curtains open for this reason, just in case, so that sunlight may pour into the room almost endlessly and rouse him, though most of the time he wakes up by himself. He doesn't sleep much, and the dark lines beneath his eyes seem to be permanent, just like L.

Just like L. Light can't possibly turn into that despicable creature. He won't allow it. The two are nothing alike.

"Is there something on your mind, dear Light-kun?" the being to his far right asks, and Light vaguely wonders when she got back. Vaguely, of course, so his mind doesn't drift on the thought too long. Instead, it wanders towards his work, where it usually stays for the rest of the day.

"Just work," Light says, stretching his body before pushing off the thick, overbearing comforter and getting off the bed. Standing before the nightstand, he plucks a pen from the spiral binding of a regular notebook and unscrews it, taking out the cartridge. He opens the drawer then pushes the bottom end of it into a small, barely visible hole in the bottom of the drawer to open the hidden compartment. When he was in high school, he had used this very same tactic to insure that no one could find the Death Note. If the compartment is opened by force, it will catch on fire.

When the compartment is lifted, Light removes both the Death Note and Life Note from it, and lets the wood fall back into place, then closes the drawer. After this, he grabs his laptop from the night stand and gets to work. Or, in other words, judgement.

Mizuki floats in the air, hands behind her head like she's reclining on a couch. Curious, she rotates her body and hovers over to Light where he sits at the kitchen table, looking over his shoulder to find that he's already busy watching the news and writing names in the Death Note.

This seems to annoy him, and he glares at the Izanagi, unamused by her display of naivety. "Why don't you just go make some coffee?" he practically snaps at her, quickly looking back at the screen in case he missed anything. She gets under his skin so easily, and he wonders if she's even trying to.

Almost obediently, she hovers away to the coffee pot on the kitchen counter to do so, and Light turns on the volume of his laptop just enough to listen for any news about murder or other criminal activity so that he can use his eyes for another purpose; watching Mizuki. Within moments, the coffee's being made and Mizuki's back to hovering over Light like a pest. A new caster reports from a helicopter about a car chase on Route 58, and they give the public his name and picture just like Kira told them to do. Light automatically writes down the sinner's name with absolutely no remorse or empathy, doesn't flinch when the car loses control and collides into a tree after forty seconds have passed, doesn't even grimace when the body smashes through the windshield and skids across the highway, leaving a trail of blood and gore in its wake. That's all this insignificant sinner is to Light; just another stain on the pavement, another name in his notebook. Like homework, it's becoming tedious, but it will always be necessary. He wonders when he became so indifferent to death.

"You look bored," Mizuki notes, still waiting for the pot to ding, signaling its finish. She has a terrible habit of reading into Light's face to deduce what's on his mind. It's almost as bad as her "drinking habit," though both are equally annoying. "Is it because you haven't met any obstacles in the past few months?"

There's a distinctly audible 'ding' that permeates through the silence, and Light wants to wait for Mizuki to get the coffee before he answers her, but she's stubborn and just hovers there like a cloud, shapeless, cold, and he closes his eyes because he hates the sight. He just wants sunny days and peace, and he can't think about such ideals when she's in his view, blocking the sun. Maybe it'd be more appropriate to say that she eclipses it.

"There's no competition anymore," he admits, though Mizuki doesn't think he'd go as far as to say "I miss the challenge L gave me." He's still got that ego and clings to his hatred because to him, that's all he has left of L. It's almost time for her to make a move. Almost. "Even though it's better that way because nothing stands between me and my goal, I think I'm losing my edge." It feels like he's confiding in her.

"True," Mizuki muses, satisfied, then retreats to pour a cup for Light. She adds a bit of milk, just the way he likes it, and floats back over to him like a ghost, placing it on the table before him. He takes a sip as he waits for more criminals to write down. "If a weight lifter doesn't go to the gym for a while, he'll lose his strength." Mizuki opts for sitting on the table, crossing her legs, and the way the fabric of her yukata slides up her leg just slightly catches Light's eye. Initially, it entrances him. Then it disgusts him and he nearly spits his coffee back up.

"Is there something wrong, dear Light-kun?" she murmurs like an echo.

"Not enough milk," he says simply, and goes back to ignoring her. Predictably, she doesn't allow this, sliding from the table and into the air, body maneuvering until she's just a centimeter away from letting their skin touch, which would be catastrophic.

The breath that escapes her lips makes his neck cold, and she whispers serene words that would otherwise be fatal. "Do you want something to be wrong?"

This catches almost all of his attention, and he struggles to listen to the news while he also listens to the sound of her light breathing. Mizuki loves when he looks at her like that, even if it's animosity. "Is that a threat?" he asks, trying to guess what's in the labyrinth that is her mind.

The response makes Mizuki giggle a bit, though the smile that results doesn't reach her eyes. Light's never seen them light up with emotion. They may be endless like the sea, but they're far more empty. "Of course not. I'm just asking if you'd like it if something bad were about to happen, silly." She's talking down on him as usual. Implying things that she wants him to catch up on.

"Is something bad about to happen, Mizuki-san?" he asks because he feels compelled to, like it's necessary in order to placate her. He downs a large gulp of the coffee, and it burns his throat on its passage.

"Actually, yes," the woman says, much to his surprise. Suddenly, he's sidetracked by recent news of a child molester and returns to his work. When he writes down the name, he doesn't feel like a hero. Immediately after that report, he hears of a woman charged with setting her house aflame and leaving her two year old child inside, who subsequently died of carbon dioxide poisoning. When he writes down the name, there's no fire in his heart. Is Kira dying?

"What is it?" Light inquires, still cool as a cucumber, though inside he's decaying. Where's the hope?

When Mizuki puts her fingers beneath Light's chin to turn his head towards her, he nearly jumps from his chair from the sudden chill, but there's a toxin in her touch that numbs him and holds him still. Mizuki has a way of paralyzing Light. "Someone needs to die. I need you to kill him."

"And if I refuse?" he asks stubbornly through his teeth, but it's hard to think when those eyes of hers are swallowing him like the sea. It's so easy. He sinks like an anchor.

"Then he'll kill you," she whispers, and it strikes him with lightning, energizes him with its electricity. This is what he needed. A jolt back into reality. Reality is cruel, relentless, and there are those out there -bad people- who want nothing more than to ruin Light's noble goals. "And that wouldn't sit too well with me."

"Who is he?" Light asks, absent mindedly pushing her hand away with the back of his. She retreats.

"He is known as Beyond Birthday."

The name rings a rusty, neglected bell.

Skeptical, the young man glares at her and leans back in his chair. "Oh, really? And how does he even know I'm alive? What's his motive? How do you know he wants me dead?"

Mizuki easily answers those questions, unabashed. "He knows you're alive because his Shinigami told him. His motive is his desire to protect the one he loves." She pauses for a moment, giving Light time to guess who the object of Beyond Birthday's attraction is. "L." Recognition becomes the most prominent expression on Light's face, recognition and a hint of pain, like he'd gotten a minor yet troublesome paper cut. In reality, the name itself cuts even deeper than that, but Light hides his distress. His attention is on her now, and she's aware that he'll eagerly drink up every word that spills from her lips. He's been dehydrated for so long, drained of nearly all of his initiative, leaving only enough for him to cater to his base desires; killing criminals with nothing but pen and paper.

L is alive. Light's been aware of it all this time. He felt it in his bones, in his blood, every time he wrote down L's name. Mizuki brought him back like how she brought Light back. Should he be ecstatic or weary?

L is the beacon that gives him hope after being lost at sea for so long.

Finally. He's finally looking at her with the anticipation and need that she's been craving for quite some time. Eager to please, Mizuki continues without hesitation. "They have history, back when the two of them were in the Wammy House, though I'm not entirely certain of what the complexities of this relationship are, nor do I know the man's true name." Hoping to avoid Light's last question in order to save that particular revelation for another day, she remains quiet, praying to the Izanagi King that Light will be so overwhelmed by the information given to him that he'll forget it. However, this is Light, and he may very well be one of the most intelligent people in the world. As such, it's exceedingly difficult to get things past him.

His tactic; ask first, analyze later.

"I'm getting the feeling that you're hiding something vital, Mizuki-san." She's dreaded this. She hates talking about L because she hates to see the flicker in Light's eyes when he's mentioned, but it's unavoidable.

"I was told this by L himself several days ago."

So, this threat has been looming over his head for a few days already, and he's only suddenly being made aware of it? It's inexcusable. "And you're only telling me this now?" Light asks, obviously annoyed. Mizuki nods, prompting him to sigh and mutter, "Well, it can't be helped, I suppose."

"Light, he poses a serious problem," Mizuki warns. "He must be dealt with immediately."

"He can't kill me with the Death Note. I didn't even know there was another one in the human realm, but that's besides the point." Light runs his finger along his jaw, tracing a single line over and over again as he thinks. "However, if he poses an 'immediate problem' as you say, then I don't have much time to figure out his name." Exhaling from the frustration, he bows his head until it's in his hands. "What a pain." And because of this pain, adrenaline courses through his veins. Things are picking up at a pace that he can barely keep up with. It's exhilarating.

Mizuki continues offering information. "His intention is not to use the Death Note on you. I believe this will be a more direct confrontation."

"Then what other option do I have?" Light has no desire whatsoever to kill someone without a Death Note. However, it might end up that way if he doesn't figure out BB's name. "If I kill him, I might risk leaving physical evidence. I've never killed anyone with my hands, and although I can find a way to dispose of the body and make sure I leave nothing behind, I might slip up from inexperience."

Once again, Mizuki has the answer. "Beyond Birthday looks exactly like L. He acts exactly like L. Except he's insane. And there's a way to find out his name that you more than anyone else should know of." Light looks up at her.

"Don't even-"

"Make the eye deal with me, Light."

"-suggest I make the deal with you."

The right corner of Mizuki's mouth twitches, which Light catches. Those quick, half smiles hurt him and he doesn't know why. Everything hurts, especially the spot where she punched him yesterday.

"There's something you don't know, Light. Use reasoning to figure it out."

The eye deal. A human can also make it with an Izanagi if they have a Life Note, though the price remains the same. However, there are a few bonuses if you trade for the Izanagi Eyes. The human will not only be able to see a person's name just by looking at them, and their lifespan, but also how they are destined to die. Without letting Light guess anything, she says, "The gods of life in the Izanagi realm are assigned tasks. The system there is much different than in the Shinigami realm. Gods of Life make many changes in the human realm. A Shinigami's only purpose is to write down names in their notebooks in order to continue living. However, in addition to writing down names to insure their own survival, Izanagi also manipulate the fates of the humans below."

"So, free will is an illusion," Light says, still wondering where Mizuki is getting at.

"Yes, for the most part. They usually tamper with the fates of those who are important to society and expansion. But that doesn't mean you were chosen to change the world, Light. Don't think so pompously."

"Of course not," Light laughs bitterly. He'd already been told this by Ryuk. "Humans resurrected by the Life Note have undetermined lifespans," Light murmurs in thought. "Though someone with the Eyes can't see an owner of a Death Note's lifespan, it doesn't mean that their lifespans are undetermined. It just means that the owner has gained the ability to kill."

"Which means...?" Mizuki presses, already knowing the answer though wanting to hear Light say it.

"Which means since those who have been revived with the Life Note, those called carriers, can make the Eye Deal without cutting their life in hald because they don't have a lifespan at all. Because it's undetermined, so therefore nothing can be halved."

Light smiles, and it mirrors the same smile he wore when Higuchi was killed. When L was killed. He hasn't smiled like this in so long. Those sadistic, cruel smiles hurt her, and she doesn't know why, either.

Smiles hurt so very much.

"I want to make the Eye Deal," Light orders.

Mizuki closes her eyes. "There's one more thing you need to know, Light-kun."

"Alright," Light says, furrowing his eyebrows, confused, and the way he tilts his head a little like that would make any girl swoon. "Tell me what it is and I'll deal with it." It's a shame. Light's so beautiful, but he's destined to spend eternity alone. He could easily make a girl fall in love with him, he's done it plenty of times before, but a relationship is a two way street, and Mizuki doesn't think Light could ever reciprocate any girl's feelings for him.

He loves himself and no on else. She hates herself, and she's starting to hate everything else.

"Humans in possession of a Life Note and Izanagi cannot see the name or lifespan of those who own a Death Note. Because you own a Life Note yourself, you will be unable to see Beyond Birthday's name." Mizuki's plan is unfolding. Things are going into motion.

Light doesn't seem too concerned about this fact. He taps his fingers on the table, starting at his little finger, in quick succession. "Then I'll just have to give up ownership of the Life Note."

Mizuki nods. "Yes. But as long as you own a Death Note, your memories will remain. And when I am gone, Ryuk will return. A human cannot be possessed by a Shinigami and an Izanagi at the same time."

"I learn something new everyday," Light chuckles, and he glances up at her. "I know you'll return. I'm vital to you. I'm necessary."

The woman says nothing, growing uncomfortable. Light shuts the laptop, pushes his chair back, and stands up. "I need you around for a while longer, so that I can test the Life Note a bit." Mizuki notices how he says he needs her around, not the Life Note, and recognizes it to be some kind of ploy.

Again, she says nothing. Once so cruel, Light suddenly becomes warm and gentle. Mizuki stops breathing.

'It's a trick, it's a trick, it's a trick,' she thinks over and over again, trying not to forget that fact, but her thoughts fade into the blackness of her mind as Light closes in on her. The closer he gets, the closer her feet come to the floor, and by the time the cold, bare skin of her soles meet the wood for the first time in a long time, Light's towering over her, looking down at her with liquid gold eyes and long lashes and parted lips. There's a distinct difference between their heights now that she's on solid ground, and both of them are very aware of it.

Her skin is smothering her.

"I appreciate the information," Light murmurs while he places a few fingers under her chin to tilt her head up similar to how she did before. It's the forbidden touch. He feels the ice. She feels the flames. But neither can pull away. "I'll have to find some way to thank you."

If it weren't for Mizuki's earlier advances, Light wouldn't have considered doing this. 'Just take it one step at a time or else she'll retreat.'

Addiction starts slowly. If he gives her too much all at once, she'll break. The strange thing is he might like that to happen. Light wants to break her. Then again, Mizuki isn't stupid. If he takes things too slow, she'll think he's building up to something, or that he's just trying to woo her in a believable way to make her drop her guard. He has to do this just right, give her the drug every so often but without giving it time to leave her system.

'I wonder what it's like to kiss an Izanagi.' When Light thinks about it, Mizuki really is attractive. She is a god, after all. Smiling to himself, he decides that this is what he deserves. Light's a god, so he deserves to be with a god, even if it's a cold and lifeless one.

His fingers are numb after being exposed to her skin so long. They're so close that he can see himself reflected in her eyes. She stands completely still, arms hanging by her sides, and Light uses his other hand to grab his, making her hook his arm around him, drawing her even closer until their abdomens touch. He's still bruised from when Mizuki struck him. He tilts his head just right, and her lips pull his in like the moon does the sea. There's hesitation from both sides, hesitation from Mizuki because she's never kissed anyone before, because in her heart she knows this is fake, hesitation from Light because right now, in this moment, he doesn't hate her so much, and because he doesn't want to drive her away. She's the moon, and if she goes out of orbit, it'll disrupt the balance of things.

Their lips meet. Sparks don't fly. Fireworks don't go off. But it evokes a change within them, one that may prove to be their downfall.

It doesn't hurt like either of them thought it would. Mizuki feels warmth for the first time without being set aflame. For Light, Mizuki's ice becomes light snow.

Before she realizes it, her hand clings desperately to his shirt, curiously brushing against his sharp hip, and he has his fingers in her hair, and this becomes at least ten percent real, a major improvement from the one hundred percent manipulation it had been just moments before.

It isn't the beginning of love, but it's the end of hatred and indifference, and for them that's a start.

Life Note
How to Use

IX

● The Life Note will not affect those over 27,000 days old.

● Carriers, or those who have been resurrected by a Life Note, do not have lifespans. Because of this, if a carrier makes an Eye Deal with a Shinigami or Izanagi, their lives will not be halved.

● Izanagi and humans in possession of the Life Note cannot see the name or lifespan of humans who own a Death Note, just as Shinigami and humans owning a Death Note cannot see the name or lifespan of humans in possession of a Life Note.

● If a human who owns both a Death Note and a Life Note relinquishes ownership of one of the notes, as long as the still possess at least a Death Note or a Life Note, they will keep their memories of the note they gave up.

● A human cannot be possessed by a Shinigami and an Izanagi at the same time.