I do not own Harry Potter. All credit goes to J.K Rowling.

Enjoy :) xoxo

"What about Ian?" I asked.

"Ian? Lily that is not a hot name. Ian's are nerds." Emma scoffed and gave me the 'are you really my bestfriend' look.

"Ians are hot!" I persisted.

"nerds," Emma stated flatly. Her eyes lit up, "but Nathan. Now that is a hot name."

I rolled my eyes, "Puhleasse Em, every Nathan I've ever meet has been bottom of your shoe ugly."

Emma smirked, "alittle harsh there Lil."

I blushed, "oops."

"I like it when you're not such an angel. Reminds me that you're human," she tapped her hip against my upper leg. Damn, is she really that short? She's like a little pixie and I'm the giant. Emma stands at a cute 5"4 and I'm 5"9. Good thing most of the men at Hogwarts are wonderfully tall or I'd never get a date.

"well, I still think Nathan's a hot name," Emma declared.

"you are only saying that because of your fling with Nate last summer. Just because he's a beach hottie doesn't mean all Nate's are."

Emma grinned and said fondly, "oh Nate my lover how I enjoyed our time together."

I blushed, "You are unbelievable."

Emma leaned in to whisper in my ear, "some of us aren't patient enough to wait for the 'one.'"

To say my face went scarlet would be an understatement. I glared at her grinning face. Her perfect little pearl teeth mocked me and for a split second I felt the jealousy roar to life within my chest. She's so beautiful. I quickly suppressed the feeling, horrified. I loved Emma. She was my sister and these bouts of hatred terrified me.

She swayed her hips and bounced along next to me, carefree and happy, completely unaware of the battle raging with in me.

I cleared my throat, "so lets agree to disagree on Nate."

Emma's trilling laughter escaped her pink lips and she shrugged in defeat.

"What about James?" a nasally voice from directly behind us asked.

I have never been a patient person and Annabell Mason always managed to hit my buttons wrong. Just as I was about to turn and snap in irritation at the little eavesdropper, Emma said smugly, "yes, James is a VERY hot name."

I jumped, startled, when at least 15 girls walking behind us chorused, "definitely."

Emma and my eyes connected, amusement evident in both our faces. We laced our arms together and walked away faster, giggles shaking us.

The day was gorgeous for quidditch and the school was alive. Everyone was laughing and happy. The game against Hufflepuff was sure to be interesting and good fun. There was only the slightest hint of rivalry between the two houses today. If it were a Slytherin vs. Gryffindor game the air would be static with competition and hatred.

"And what is my lovely lady giggling about?" Sirius swaggered towards us. His hair was wind swept from the practice lap around the field. His leather uniform defined every broad muscle in his frame.

He flung an arm over my shoulder and Emma's pretty face contorted to disgust. I ignored her, stood a little on my toes, pecked his rough check affectionately and said, "hello handsome."

"where's my boyfriend?" Emma asked rudely. I wanted to reprimand her for her horrible behavior to a very dear friend of mine.

Sirius laughed, "he sent me to get you." my heart lurched painfully, "a little pre-game shag always works wonders for his playing." I elbowed him and Emma skipped away to the changing rooms. She gave one more hateful look to Sirius and snapped, "i hope you choke on the snitch."

"Tell him I say goodluck!" I shouted after her.

I rounded on Sirius and poked him viscously in the chest.

Ow! Damn. What the hell is this made of? Dragon scales? I pulled back my throbbing finger, practically screaming from his armor like uniform, but I ignored the pain and gazed intently at his shaggy unshaved face.

"You'll never get her to like you if you make remarks like that." I state plainly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, obviously he doesn't care much about what Emma thinks of him, "i should get going." He hugs me, lifting my thin body clear off the ground and crushing my lunges.

"Sirius," I gasp for breathe.

He drops me back to the lush green grass with a rueful grin. He ruffles my hair and I swat his hand away before he swaggers off again.

"You could atleast try Sirius!" I exclaim after his retreating back. "We are not done talking about this!"

I sighed and turned to the stands. A few girls who had seen the display of affection between Black and I glared at me. I gave them all the biggest brightest smile I could manage. Sour Bitches.

I scanned the crowd with a quick flick of my eyes.

A group of girl's charming their body's red and gold. Two boys chucking a bag of sweets back and forth over a younger boys head. Finally, I spotted them.

I skipped over to the stairs, suddenly in a merry mood. I wanted to enjoy today. I loved quidditch Saturdays and i'd be damned if James Potter took that away from me. He'd taken to much already.. without even knowing it. I swallowed painfully, pushing back the urge to cry.

Great, I thought grouchily, not a second ago I was happy and now I feel depressed again. He's turned me into a bipolar lunatic.

"Hey Petie, Rem," I smiled and sat daintily on my saved seat next to Remus. I cross my long legs that are currently in a pair of very comfortable running shorts.

"Lily, we've been waiting for you," Peter cried with a huge goofy grin. I beamed back at him. He really was so adorable and would always hold a special place in my heart.

"Em and I had to make a stop at the Kitchens before we came," I explained and pulled my small bag off my shoulder.

Remus' eyes sparkled amusedly, "did you bring me chocolate balls?"

"ofcourse I did," I smirked and dug around in the magically charmed back until I found Remus' chocolates. I popped one into my mouth, pure bliss making me groan.

"the houselfs deserve a prize," I declare and hand him the rest of the balls.

"i doubt they'd accept one," Remus said but agreed none the less.

"ohhh, maybe i'll make them one. A trophy or something." I said excitedly, a plan suddenly forming in my head.

"that's a brilliant idea Lily," Alice Prewitt pipes up from in front of us. She turns slightly and looks up at me with a smile. I smile back, "isn't it? They do deserve something. I think I'll bring it up with Dumbledore next heads meeting."

"you're always doing such nice things," Alice's voice was laced with admiration.

"thanks Aly, it's not anything really though."

"Just her crazy ideas," Emma's voice said from my right. I turned as she sat down next to me. She looked rumpled. Her lips swollen and hair frizzy.

"The match is starting!" Frank yelled excitedly and everyone turned to watch the pitch while the players theatrically flew out. I never understood the point of such dramatic entries. Just start playing for crying out loud.

Ofcourse the idiot that I'm inlove with lives for these types of things. James flies out last, to the most unbelievable screaming and roaring and clapping. It feels as if the whole stand is shaking. He flips around and twirls for his crowd. My heart doubles with love when I see his huge grinning face, his hair windswept.

The crowd's settle down a little when James and the Hufflepuff captain shake hands. He told me once that he dislocated Lucius Malfoy's finger when he shook it too hard. He had to get a healer to fix it before continuing with the game.

I roll my eyes with a little smile, quidditch players are very competitive.

I sit down and start to get comfortable for the upcoming game. I reach into my purse once again, my entire arm almost vanishing within it's folds. I pull out my tub of popcorn, my bertie bott's every flavor jelly beans, my chocolate frogs and chocolate chip cookies.

To most Gryffindor's this sight wasn't anything new. It was a well known fact that Lily Evans ate her body weight in food during quidditch games. It keeps me from biting my nails. James suggested it once after seeing my stubs, almost not there, nails once. He said eating something might help the nerves and keep my mouth busy.

"James Potter takes possession for the Gryffindors. He passes to Mckinnon, over to Black, Potter and that's the first score of the game. 10-0."

And so the game continued. I had my mouth stuffed nearly the entire time and screamed obscenely loud when James scored... every time. Peter and I high fived when Sirius made the next shot.

Frank wrapped his arm around Alice and my eyes darted down to their bodies, distracted. The love of her life. That's what Alice had called him during our sleepovers. And I saw that. I understood. A lot of people.. people meaning the older generation, might scoff and say we were clueless teenagers but we weren't. We were teenagers faced with the fact that war loomed ahead of us. That our lives were not our own, but bound to the acts of one psychopath. Our feelings were real. My love for James was fucking real. No one could ever tell me that it wasn't.

I sigh and mentally congratulate Alice. If one of us had to be happy I'm glad it was her. She was such a sweet thing. She needs Frank for the upcoming terrors of our lives. I would be okay, I was strong. But for now we try and forget. We try to ignore the disappearances and the empty seats in the class rooms by playing quidditch and drinking and doing shit crazy things.

James makes another shot and some guy behind me boos loudly.

"Potter sucks!"

I whip around angrily, "excuse me? This is the Gryffindor stands, maybe you should go over to the Slytherins."

The boy is considerably taller than me but I stand my ground when he sneers nastily, "what are you gonna do about it miss prissy Evans?"

It freaks me out how many people know my name. I guess it comes with being friends with the marauders. Remus notices our little spat and turns away from the game.
"Is everything alright Lil?"

"This jackass was being rude," I cross my arms and glare up at the bully.

He scoffs, "You just think your better than the rest of us don't you Evans?"

"What?" I really am confused now.

"walking around with your nose in the air, only talking to 'them', flaunting your tight arse AND your good grades around."

"Oi!" Remus shouts angrily but he's drowned out when everyone starts screaming again, apparently Gryffindor scored again.

I grab my wand threateningly, "You have no right to talk to me like that."

"Apologize," Remus orders.

The bulky boy, who looks a bit thick honestly and he hasn't been blessed in the looks department, rolls his eyes, "Protecting your little girlfriend Lupin. You're just as bad as she is."

Emma pulls my arm desperately, "just leave it Lily, don't-" But it's to late, I explode with my red headed temper, "You don't even know us! Remus is the sweetest-" He kicks my popcorn and it flies forward and sprays all over Frank and Alice. He turns and marches for the stairs. I ball my fists up furiously and before anyone can stop me, jump on his back like a wild banshee. Now the whole stand is watching us, the game forgotten.

"My popcorn!" I screech furiously and smack his head with my palm. He spins around shouting in surprise. All my pent up sorrow and anger is released and I scream bloody murder. Emma's mouth falls open in shock and I think Peter starts laughing. The boy stumbles back and everyone freezes. Emma's shout reaches my ears in slow motion. My hand loses its grip on his neck and I fall back. With hot searing pain, my back smacks into the stairs and I tumble down them. White hot lights flash in front of my eyes and then the screaming starts- and not the good quidditch kind.

My heads cloudy and throbbing but I force my eyes open past the pain. I knew he would be there, he's always there. He smirks when he sees that I'm looking at him. He's leaning against the wall, still dressed in his quidditch uniform – god he's hot- and his hair is a crazy mess from the countless times he must have run his hands through it in worry.

"You're an idiot," he mutters and shakes his head, "you know that right?"

"I can see you're so relieved," I croak and try to sit up. I gasp when pain shoots up my spine and he's instantly next to me. One strong arm wraps around my waist and he gently, so gently, helps me into a sitting position. With the care of a mother, he puts two pillows up behind my back so that I can lean against them. I sigh and look up into his eyes, "thankyou."

He grunts and moves away. He ruffles his hair and looks at the ground, embarrassed. I grin, "Missing your own victory party Potter?"

"How do you know we won?" he arches an eyebrow and looks at me playfully.

"Ha! If you'd lost you'd be moping next to this bed and whining to me. Don't even pretend you wouldn't! I know you to well James Potter."

He smiles, "yeah, yeah, fine we won. But honestly, it was just Hufflepuff. I could fly circles around their entire team with my eyes closed."

I cluck my tongue, "always so confident. One of these days someones going to knock you off that high horse of yours James Potter."

"Speaking of, heard this whole thing started because some guy booed me."

I blush, "well someone had to defend your pretty face didn't they? Might as well be me."

He shakes his head but I can tell he's trying not to laugh.

"AND it wasn't just that!" I suddenly yell when I remember all the things that jerk did, "he was insulting me!" James frowns, "some bullshit about me not caring about other people! I care about other people..." I frown and continue before James can speak, "and he said the same thing about Remus! REMUS! Please, that boys as selfless as it comes. AND he kicked OVER MY POPCORN!"

James chuckles and takes my hand gently into his own. He rubs soothing circles into my soft skin until my breathing becomes normal again.

"Are you alright Lil?" he says softly and brushes some hair away from my face. His hand lingers a moment on my cheek before he pulls it away. His eyes bore into my face, sweeping over everything and it makes me distinctly aware of every imperfection.

"I'm fine," I squirm, "it was just a fall James. You fall off your broom all the time."

"I'm not talking about the fall... You've been acting.. strange lately." He shrugs and I smile softly. He has noticed. I cover his hand with my own, "not worried about me are you Potter?"

He laughs half-heartedly, "why would I be worried about you Freckles, your tough as rocks."

"Ofcourse I am," I say seriously and he smirks before looking at me more intently, "you can talk to me you know. I'm always here and it's not just me.. Emma's worried too and-" I yank my hands out of his calloused warm one.

"Stop being worried," I snap and he looks taken aback by the sudden venom in my voice, "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong."

He doesn't look convinced but I can tell he isn't going to pursue the topic any further.

We're quiet.

"I'll get you some more popcorn yeah?"

"Merlin, you're amazing." I beam up at him. . . and I try to forget that Emma and James have been noticing the weirdness that I have with such effort been trying to hide from them. How much longer can I go on like this?

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