When Nick got home that night Winston was still up, staring blankly at some hair-removal infomercial in which serene women of ethnic decent were smilingly removing all traces of their mustaches.
"Just FYI," Nick offered, "Those girls have got to be hosed on some kind of heavy narcotics. Caroline used that stuff on my chest one time, and I cried like a little baby girl for three straight hours afterwards."
He started back towards his bedroom, only to be stopped by Winston's low, "Ooooh, I wouldn't if I were you."
"What?! Are you serious?! How many nights can they keep this up?!"
"I have to tell you," Winston replied, "I have a lot of respect for Genslinger, now. Grant you, he's probably just making up for thirty years of frustrated virginity, but the guy's got some kind of stamina."
Nick stuck his head down the hallway for a quick listen, and made a disgusted face at what he heard. "You think they have any idea what they're doing in there? I mean...really?"
"Oh, absolutely not," answered Winston. "But they sure are having a lot of fun figuring it out."
Nick sighed, and joined him on the couch. For a few seconds he considered telling his best friend about the cool chick he'd met at work, but he figured he'd just be jinxing himself. So instead he said, "Okay, well I really need some sleep tonight. I'm working a double tomorrow, and Julio's already been on my case." For spending too much time focusing on one certain customer, tonight.
"I think I'm just gonna sleep on the couch," Winston sighed. "I have a couple of interviews tomorrow, and I'd like to show up looking as UNhaunted as possible."
They sat in silence for a few seconds, while Nick sniffed in disdain at the claim of painlessness purported on the TV. And then he had a sudden thought. "Hey...is Schmidt home tonight?"
"Nope. He claimed to have a date with twins, and told me not to expect him until I saw him."
"Cuz you knoooow..." Nick offered slowly, "his room IS out of hearing range..."
"What?"
"I mean...if he's not using his bed..."
"Eeeew, are you being serious right now?!"
"Come on Winston, we've slept in the same bed plenty of times!"
"Yeah, well not since the seventh grade, when you still hadn't gone through puberty yet, and you suddenly got all weird about your body! Come to think of it...you never really came out of that stage, did you?"
"HAHA. I'm being serious. Do you really feel up to another night of, 'I have a DEADLINE to meet, so you need to pick up the pace, you hear me, son?'"
Winston's shuddered at Nick's eerily accurate imitation of Jess's ole-timey-newpaper-reporter voice. He clicked off the TV and took a determined breath. "Let's do this."