Guess who's back, bitches?! Sorry, got a little overexcited there. After about a week of fighting with Regina and Archie about this journal, I am back to the grind. Story is, Regina dry-cleaned my favorite leather jacket (the red one) and it shrunk horribly beyond wearable status. So, I refused to write in this until she got me a new one. Regina ordered a new one online, but as you can imagine, Storybrooke doesn't have the best shipping time. But here I am, admiring the shiny leather and red glossiness, pen in hand and ready to go. Enjoy, nerds.

Write about your earliest childhood memory of your mother.

Instead of childhood memory, how about an almost-turning=30 memory? I would mention the first time we met, but you already know about that. I would rather talk about my fondest memory. It was the first time I ever told her about my feelings for Regina. Grab the box of Kleenex, babe. It's gonna get feely up in here.

I burst into the loft, high on adrenaline and buzzed from the shots of alcohol I had consumed. Tonight marked the first official night that Regina and I had acted civil toward each other and actually enjoyed ourselves since we agreed to share Henry. Our son was out with his baseball team tonight celebrating their victory, so Regina and I decided to meet up to celebrate Henry finally making some friends. A parenting win for us!

Mary Margaret gave me a knowing grin as I threw my purse down and kicked off my heels before flopping over on my back onto the couch. "You look like you've been having fun."

I stared at the ceiling, unable to hide the silly smile on my face. "I finally feel like I'm doing something right. Henry is happy, Regina is warming up to me…"

"As is the alcohol in your stomach," Mary Margaret commented with a chuckle. "I'm happy for you, Em. You gonna tell me how this night out with the mayor went?"

I sighed and sat up, blinking as the room spun twice before settling. "Pour us a glass of wine and I'll tell you all about it."

I waved goodbye to everyone at the edge of the baseball field, watching Henry meet up with his teammates and pile into the large van for a night of fun before hopping into my Bug and pulling out of the parking lot. My plan was to go home and watch Friends with a tub of rocky road ice cream and some cabernet, but as I passed main street my mind decided to flip a complete U-turn and head for Granny's.

I parked the car, feeling a strange sense of loneliness come over me. I fit in well with this town, I had a kid who loved me, I had friends for once in my life. But I couldn't help the overwhelming aloneness that I just couldn't shake. It was a familiar feeling growing up alone, so I decided to head inside for a good old draft beer to forget my sorrows for a little while.

I settled myself on a stool, sipping on my slightly too strong beer and ignoring the world around me. A frown came upon my face as I heard Leroy laughing and being rowdy with the rest of the dwarves. I would have asked Mary Margaret to join me, but she had been so infatuated with David recently that she hardly gave me the time of day. And Ruby… who knows who she's shacking up with.

"Fancy seeing you here, Sheriff." I looked up to see Regina seated a few seats down, an empty glass in front of her, indicating she had been here a while.

"Hi," I answered, taking another drink of my beer and grimacing at the flavor. Why did I choose Budlight? BV was the way to go.

"You here by yourself?" Regina asked, glancing around the mostly empty bar.

I felt my cheeks flush in embarrassment, though I wasn't sure why. "Yeah, this uh—is usually how things go for me. I'm used to it."

Regina simply smiled as if she knew the feeling all too well. "It has been kind of quiet now that Henry is branching out and making friends."

I nodded in agreement, the hollow feeling still settled in the pit of my stomach.

"I wanted to thank you for signing Henry up for baseball. He really seems to enjoy it and he's even gotten invited to a few sleepovers," Regina said, surprising me.

The bartender pushed two golden-colored shots toward Regina, who then offered one to me. "Would you like to celebrate our parenting victory?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, slightly skeptical. "Isn't that what Kathryn is for?"

Regina's smile never wavered. "Kathryn isn't much of a drinker. She's rather dull at times. Besides, I thought I would repay you for what you did for me."

Slowly, the hollow feeling began to recede. I forced a smile on my face and grabbed the shot, clinking it against hers before downing it all at once. Immediately my chest burned and my eyes watered, my lungs forcing me to cough to breathe in fresh air. I grabbed the nearest thing to me and downed it only to discover it was the same vile drink.

A glass of water was set in front of me and I gulped it gratefully until the burning sensation stopped. I glanced over at Regina to see her sipping on the shot like it was a rare wine. She was looking at me in amusement. The man beside me (with a now empty shot glass) glared at me and moved away.

"What the hell—was that?" I gasped.

Regina shifted in her chair, her lips pulled up into a playful smirk. "I thought you knew what you were drinking, Miss Swan. Tequila is rather distinguishable."

I could already feel the buzz humming through my brain and causing my body to tingle. "Shit! I drove here! How the hell am I supposed to get home?" I groaned.

"No worries, Emma. I'll take you. Now just relax and have some fun. How about a margarita on the rocks?" Regina motioned to the bartender who nodded as he noticed her signal for another drink.

Not even 10 minutes later I'm busting out laughing at a Baby Henry story Regina is telling, feeling light-headed and free all at once, my loneliness long forgotten. "What I would have paid to watch that happen!" I giggle, putting my hand on Regina's thigh.

I quickly realized what I was doing and moved my hand. "Um—sorry. Sorry I'm usually not like this…" I mumbled.

Regina grabbed my hand and held it in hers. "You're having fun, Emma. It's really alright."

I glanced into her eyes to see they had become soft, liquid pools of chocolate. How I wanted to melt within them just then. I leaned in to kiss her, but somewhere in my foggy brain rational thought reared its level head and stopped me in my tracks. I reached for my drink and sipped on that instead.

I could have sworn I saw disappointment flicker across Regina's face. The whole situation was striking me as odd. Regina was my acquaintance; she created the schedule for Henry every week, she bitched at me about late paperwork (she bitched at me about basically everything) she would nod but wouldn't say anything if she saw me around town. Now here she was, practically begging me to bed her with the shots of alcohol and offering to drive me home. And God how I wanted to. But I forced myself to hold back. I ruined everything I touched—even my relationship with Henry was difficult to navigate.

"So, got any more stories about that crazy son of ours?" I asked, trying to erase the look on her face.

The night was over all too soon, and Regina practically dragged me out with her arm around my waist. She carefully maneuvered me into her car and buckled me in before taking me to the loft and helping me up the stairs.

"Here you are." Regina released me and motioned to the door. "Think you can find your way to your bed?"

"I dunno I might need your help," I said, trying and failing to wink at her. Before she could say or do anything, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Thank you, 'Gina. I had a lot of fun."

Regina smiled and stepped back, steadying me on my feet. "So did I. Perhaps we can do this again sometime."

I heard her descending the stairs only when the door shut behind me. And that was when I recounted the whole story to Mary Margaret.

"Do you think Regina likes you too?" Mary Margaret asked as she handed me what was obviously a glass of water. So much for the wine.

"I know she does. And next time, I'm gonna kiss her." I smiled happily as Mary Margaret helped me up and to my room.

Mary Margaret helped me change into my pajamas and tucked me under the covers. "I wish you all the happiness, Emma." The woman chuckled lightly. "My head already hurts thinking how bad yours is going to feel in the morning." She leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead. "Maybe that will keep the pain away. Sweet dreams, Emma."

My eyes were almost closed when a sudden feeling had me up out of bed and looking out the window. I was surprised to see Regina's car still parked down there, the street light illuminating the mayor inside of it. I hit the window with the palm of my hands, trying to catch her attention, finally managing to pull it open. By that time, Regina was looking up at my window.

"I made it to my bedroom, 'Gina!" I yelled down, most likely waking up the neighbors.

"Go to bed, Emma!" Regina yelled up from her open car window.

I laughed loudly as she revved the engine on her car, indicating she was going to leave. "I need a goodnight kiss to help me sleep!"

Regina blew me a kiss through her window. "Now go to sleep!"

"I'm gonna kiss you for real next time! I promise!" I yelled back. I swear Regina smiled as she pulled away from the curb, her tail lights illuminated in the dark.

Speaking of kissing, Regina is peppering my whole body with kisses as I write. This story was kind of requested by her and I was all too happy to oblige, as it is a great memory of Mary Margaret and Regina all mixed into one. Now I'm going to take a break from this to carry me wife to our bed and show her all of the creative ways I can kiss her. ;)

XXXX

Alright, the little squirt is asleep again (she's a Mama's Girl and super colicky) and Regina is enjoying her post-sex bubble bath complete with vanilla-scented candles and a detachable shower head (an early birthday gift from me—I know, I know, I'm a genius) so I'm gonna add another entry here. Actually, this whole journal thing is kinda growing on me. It's nice to vent to someone who won't talk back.

Write about your earliest memory of your father.

Well, when I got my true memories back after Henry's near-death experience, I do clearly remember being cradled in my father's arms while he protected his little girl from harm and sent her on her way to a new land with a goodbye kiss. But since my fondest memory of Mary Margaret was linked to a Swan Queen tale (see what I did with the names there? Regina thinks it's absolutely ridiculous) I may as well do the same with David.

This takes place after the curse had broken. After I had saved Henry and restored everyone's memories and learned that everything I had been denying was true. I knew that I was falling for Regina, even after everything she had done. Because I had gotten to know another side of her that perhaps only Henry ever got to see. But for some reason, she had been very short with me, only interacting with me when it was necessary. So Henry and I had come up with a plan to put her in good spirits.

So, I had just dropped Henry off at home and I waved him off, sitting inside my Bug and fidgeting with the chain around my neck (a nervous habit) as I waited to see if Regina got my gift I had sent in with Henry (a bottle of Chardonnay and movie tickets to Ferris Bueller's Day Off (an all-time favorite of mine that just happened to be showing at the theatre. My hopes lifted when the door opened and Regina began walking toward my car, her chin held high, a neutral expression on her face, the gray dress she was rocking flowed with the wind and her black heels click-clacked against the sidewalk like a runway model. She didn't look happy, but she didn't look pissed off, either, which was a point in my favor.

I rolled down the window and gave her the brightest smile I could—I called it "The Smolder". "So, are we on for Friday?" I asked.

Without speaking a single word, Regina proceeded to rip up the tickets and then handed me the unopened bottle of wine. I stared in confusion before numbly reaching for the bottle. My hand shook under its weight, as if it were a bowling ball rather than mere ounces of liquid.

"I don't have time for your childishness," Regina finally spoke before heading back up the sidewalk.

I watched her go, feeling numb and utterly stupid. I was used to rejection (growing up in the foster system introduced me to the familiarity) but this was different. It almost physically hurt, like She had just plunged a knife into my chest and twisted it sharply. It took a lot for me to show my caring side to people, and now that was shattered into a million pieces.

I started my Bug and was ready to drive away when the door opened, and Henry ran out, yelling at me to wait. I put the car back into park and tried to will away the pain undoubtedly showing on my face. I quickly hid the shredded tickets from view. The boy stopped next to the passenger side window, grabbing onto the side of the car and leaning in with a concerned look on his face. He had helped me plan this date for Regina as he knew her better than me.

"What happened?" He asked, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. "Mom came in really upset and locked herself in her study. Didn't she like the gift?"

I looked down at my lap, willing myself to keep my emotions in check. You can cry when you get home, Swan. Don't let the kid know what happened.

"She's just not feeling well is all. I'll have to reschedule our date." I felt bad lying to him, but he had been so eager, so sure that his mom would love the gift as she had a prestigious collection of wine and owned almost every movie made before 1990. I had hurt him already with not believing his fairytales were real (only to find out that they were). I couldn't bear to hurt him again.

"Oh." Henry bit his lip, looking as though he knew there was more to the story. He took after me in carrying the ability to tell when the truth wasn't exactly truthful. It was both a blessing and a curse.

I forced a smile on his face. "Hey, you were supposed to be with me this Friday anyway, so what do you say you and I go to the movie? We'll pass on the wine, but I'll get you all the soda and candy you want."

Henry offered me a toothy grin, all traces of skepticism gone from his face. "That sounds fun! Unlimited soda and candy and one of my favorite movies?!" He pumped his fist in the air like Judd Nelson in the ending of The Breakfast Club. Well, at least I can rest assured knowing he was raised with good taste in movies.

Once I said goodbye to him again, I drove to the only place I could think of—the harbor. Looking at the water helped me think and focus, as if the rippling of the waves were my own emotions; hard at first like a tidal wave, then gradually growing softer as time went by. I sat on a bench and looked out at the sea, thinking the gray sky and approaching storm clouds were appropriate for how this day has gone thus far.

I just didn't understand; why was Regina pushing me away now? Sure, the curse had broken. Sure, I was the daughter of her enemies. Sure, I was the one destined to bring back the happy endings and see her downfall. But what about before? When I had been getting to know the woman beneath the Evil Queen? The nights we shared getting schnockered at Granny's, the cheesy movie sessions, the arcade games we spent plenty of money on to see our son smile. Did that not matter anymore? Did I not matter?

"Emma?" I looked up to see David next to his truck beginning to approach me.

"Hey," I said quietly, not having the strength to say anything else without crying.

"It's-uh, kinda cold outside today." David sat down beside me, being careful not to sit too close as I was still getting used to the fact that I had parents and they were the same age as me.

We silently watched the water for a while, both glancing at each other out of the corner of our eyes. I could tell David wanted to say something from the way he was biting his lip, but I knew he didn't want to push it. I released a shaky breath and decided to confide in him. This is a fresh start for me and I better make the most of it.

"Before the curse broke, I had been getting to know Regina. We would hang out and talk and we seemed to really understand each other. I thought I—" I bite my lip and blink the tears causing my eyes to water.

"You feel something for her," David finished for me with a smile.

A tight smile appeared on my face. "If only it was that easy."

"If it's because she's the Evil Queen; if you think we won't accept you because you have a connection with her, that will never happen."

I blinked in shock at David's statement, momentarily forgetting what I was about to say. "But she cursed you both. She almost killed Mary Margaret. And Henry. It's messed up!"

David shrugged nonchalantly, a casual smirk settled on his face. "Not everyone is perfect. Snow hit my head with a rock and I strung her up in a tree."

David moved closer, putting his arm around my shoulders. I found myself leaning into him, the touch sparking a feeling of familiarity into me. He smelled like leather and something uniquely him, and I felt my emotions come to the surface once more.

"Oh, Emma." David pressed a kiss to my temple. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I asked her on a date. Henry helped me with it; I bought movie tickets and a bottle of wine, something I thought she would like. And she ripped the tickets up in front of me like it didn't even matter."

David was quiet for several minutes. I felt him inhale deeply before speaking. "You can't give up. Regina has always been a tough nut to crack; if you believe she has feelings for you the way you do her, then go for it. Your mother and I wouldn't be here today if it weren't for that belief." David gently touched my nose. "And neither would you."

I rested my head on his chest, a new feeling warming my heart. Why had I expected this to be so easy? The chase was only part of the fun!

"Thanks, Dad," I said, relaxing further into his embrace.

XXXX

Things between Regina and I definitely weren't easy, but I wouldn't change a thing. It gives us something memorable to look back on. I have to thank my parents for supporting me as well—being rejected time after time until finally finding people who love and accept you is the greatest gift you can ever receive.