A/N

Thanks for reading this and wanting to keep up with this story. Reviews and comments are once again loved!

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Chapter 3: Crush

Edward

I survived school and was now standing in my room. Staring at my brand new guitar. What was I thinking. I mean, I love that thing, but I can't play. Yeah well, thanks to Bella I can play two chords. Fan-fucking-tastic. Maybe I'm going to buy some book for five year olds and learn how to play Mary had a little lamb. That would be something right?

"Kids, dinner!" Esme snapped me out of my thoughts. Which reminded me, that I still had to ask Carlisle how he made friends that fast, since that's what I guess he was doing when I saw his car parked outside that white house.

I sat down and Esme put everything on the table. "Was your schoolday better than yesterday, honey?" She asked me, carefully. I realized I scared her a little yesterday. "Yeah, it was okay." Except for the first part of the day, I added mentally. She didn't need to know that though. She smiled and went through my hair. "I'm glad to hear that." Not the fucking hair. Why do people always touch my hair? Ugh. And I was back into my grumpy mood.

"Darling, everything looks delicious! You're such a wonderful cook." Carlisle planted a kiss on Esme's forehead and she blushed. They were like fucking teenagers. I decided this would be the best time to ask. "So, Carlisle, you made friends already?" Carlisle looked up from his plate. "Excuse me?" He wasn't having an affair was he? If he was, I would kick that son of a bitch out of the fucking house. I grew angry. "Yes. Your car. Yesterday. Parked at some white house." He looked like he was trying to remember what he did yesterday. "Yesterday I was at work. Are you sure it's not just someone's car that looks just like mine?" He was trying to ditch the subject. So he was having an affair? "Right."

After dinner I went straight to my bedroom, as usual. I couldn't imagine Carlisle having an affair with someone else. He loved Esme, any fool could see that. Maybe he didn't love her enough? No. He did, more than enough. Sometimes it was simply annoying how much they loved one another. But it was his car. I didn't check his licence plate, but I knew my father's car. I decided I was going to drive by once more tomorrow, to see if that car was still there.

Because I needed my mind off of fucking things, like a certain girl with gorgeous eyes and hair plus my dad who may or may not be cheating, I went to Emmett's room. "Hey dude, what's up?" He was playing his Playstation. "Hey Ed, do you want to play a game?" "Sure." I sat down next to him and got the remote. We didn't talk, we just played but still it felt nice. I know I hated him these past couple of days, but this made up for a lot.

When we played for an hour and a half, I started to talk. "So… You really like it here, huh?" He looked like I grew a second head. "Ofcourse I do. Have you not seen the girls?" I sure as hell did. Well, one girl really, but that didn't matter. "Yeah. But I mean, you have friends already, right?" He looked at me weird again. "Is this about you not being able to make friends? You know, you can hang with me and Jasper during lunch?" I clenched my teeth. "No thanks." I was silent for a second, trying to control my anger. "It was just a fucking question." He didn't look at me. "Then yes, I made friends. You know, Jasper likes that Alice girl. She's the one with the short black hair. She's hot. I like that girl Rosalie, I don't know about the brunette though. She seems a little… off." He was talking about Bella. I felt anger building up inside of me, again. "What do you mean, off?" I spit the word. She belonged, she wasn't off. Yes, she was different than most of the girls in town, but she wasn't fucking off. "I don't know," he shrugged, "she looks different. But that does make her interesting. Anyway, I don't do difficult and complex girls." I didn't react, I just walked away with clenched fists, preventing myself from hurting that motherfucker. Bad.

I went outside, I needed some fresh air. You don't just do Bella. She may be different from all the other girls, but in a good way. She's mature and knows what she wants. She has a passion for things, like music. She's not difficult. She's not. Emmett is a fucking asshole.

I walked around town for about thirty minutes and that's when it started to rain. Again. I didn't have a fucking umbrella with me. So I just walked home, fucking soaked. Which made me think of the first time I saw Bella. Cycling through the pouring rain. Beautiful as fuck. I shook my head. Why couldn't I stop thinking of her? I mean yes, she was really pretty, but why was she so special to me? I really needed to stop this shit. I promised myself I wouldn't help her in math again, wouldn't answer her questions, just so I could let her go. Not that I ever had her in the first place. But I needed to clear my head.

I got inside, left all these muddy footprints throughout the house and went straight to bed.

Bella

"Mom? It's time for your medication." I peeked my head around the door and saw my mom laying in bed. Exactly like the last couple of years. Her eyes widened and she moaned. "I know you don't like them, mom, but you need them. It'll just take a few minutes and you can go back to sleep again." I hated this. I hated the fact that my mom was sick, but I hated putting her through this even more.

I held her hand while she swallowed one pill after the other. "You're doing great, mom." She smiled a halfhearted smile and closed her eyes. "How many are there left?" she whispered. "Just two more pills," I cleared my throat. I always got emotional when she asked me that question. I knew she wasn't just asking me how much more medication she needed. She was asking me how many days, weeks, months or years she was going to have to endure this. She'd given up hope. I hadn't.

She took the last pill and after it was gone she fell asleep right away. She was still holding my hand. Before my mom got sick two years ago, I called her Renee. That's what I always did. She was Renee, I was Bella. We were like best friends. But now I called her mom. Because she was my mom, not just my friend, and I don't think I ever realized that enough. I needed to take care of her, like she took care of me for the past seventeen years. I knew she liked me calling her mom. So I did.

I placed the empty glass in the sink and I heard a knock on the door. What time was it? Ten o'clock. Who could that be? I decided to check and saw a familiar face. "Hey doctor Cullen, what makes you come here at this hour?" "Hello Bella," he smiled, "I wanted to talk more about your mom's condition with you. I've only been here once, and read about her case. However, that's not enough. I want to get to know her, so I can treat her the right way." He was sincere. Concerned about his patients. The last doc wasn't like that. At all. Ofcourse I let him inside.

"Do you want some coffee? Tea maybe?" "Just a glass of water will be fine, Bella. Thank you." I brought him a glass of water and sat down. He really did have a familiar face. He looked like… Edward. "Are you Edward's dad?" I blurted out. I covered my mouth with my hand. Such an impolite thing to ask. He laughed. "That's okay. Yes, I'm Edward's dad. Emmett's too, by the way." I nodded. Edward Cullen. Emmett Cullen.

"I won't keep you up for long, I just wanted some last facts before I work on her case tomorrow in the hospital," he talked to me. I just nodded. Talking about my moms disease was never easy. I always felt like there was a big lump in my throat. But I never cried.
"How long ago was she diagnosed with breastcancer?" "May 22nd it will be exactly two years ago." "Hmm…" He wrote something down. "When did the chemo stop?" "She had four cures in six months, but it didn't help." "Okay, so she just gets medication now to kill the pain?" I nodded. "Has your previous doctor ever talked about your mother's life?" I shook my head. Was this something I wanted to hear? "Nothing about her may be dying?" I shook my head. I couldn't do this. He saw that, I guess. He stopped talking about it. "That would be enough for tonight. I'll stop by tomorrow after work in the hospital again. Get some sleep, Bella. Good luck at school tomorrow." He patted my shoulder and I showed him the way out.

That's when the tears started to fall. I couldn't cry with anyone around. Only when it was just me. I knew this was going to be one of those nights. Crying, feeling alone, restless and powerless. All in all just feeling like shit. And I never cursed, so that meant something. I spent the rest of the night on the couch, curled up like a ball.

***

I looked at the clock. Ten in the morning. I wasn't having school 'til twelve so I got some time to check on my mom, shower and fix breakfast. I did all that in the exact same order. When I looked in the mirror after my shower I scared myself. My eyes were all red and thick, because of the crying the night before. I still felt alone. I did everything in a very slow pace that morning. It was almost eleven o'clock when I was all set to go. I decided to go to school, so I would have some distraction. Alice and Rosalie would be there already, their classes started at nine this morning.

When I came to school, I saw Alice first. She was my best friend. She only had to look at me for one second, and she knew how I felt. She also knew we weren't going to talk about it now. So she just hugged me, a little too tight, and we sat in the cafetaria. Alice gushed about Jasper, she liked him for over three months now and they'd kissed a few times. But she wanted something more serious. Serious wasn't a word in Jaspers vocabulary, so that was going to be difficult. After she talked about him, and I listened for half an hour, Rosalie came into the cafetaria. "Hey guys!" She looked at me. "Geez Bells, you look like hell." Rosalie was such a sweet and subtle person. "Thanks," I muttered. "You're welcome," she smiled. This is why Alice was my best friend. Rosalie was just… Rosalie. "The Spartans play a game after school, just for fun. You guys want to go watch?" I wasn't feeling it, but I still needed the distraction. "Sure!" Alice yelled with enthusiasm. "I'll go," was my answer. After we talked for a few more minutes, the bell rang and we all had to go to class. Alice walked me to my class, her arm around me the entire time.

I had math first, gym would follow and then I would be free at last. Well, not exactly free, since I promised to go the game. But that was a good thing. Alice gave me a hug before I entered my mathclass for the last time that week. I felt like everybody was watching me, as if they all knew what was happening back home. But they didn't. Only Alice knew. No one knowing really was a miracle, since this town was so small and everyone knew each other. Yeah, in the hospital they knew about her. Edward's dad. But he wouldn't tell his family, right? I mean, he's a doctor, a professional. Thinking all this while walking to my seat, I saw Edward. He frowned, but he didn't say a word. I was glad he didn't.

I tried to concentrate on my assignments, but I couldn't. Not just because of my mom, but I felt like Edward was checking on me every five minutes. I'm not even sure if he was checking to see if I was already crying or checking to see if I got the answers right. I decided it had to be the final option. After thirty minutes I knew he wasn't going to quit, so I just asked. "Can you help me with this?" I pointed at my book. He looked at me, still not saying a thing. Then he looked at where my finger was pointing and his face showed a sign of relief. "Sure…" he answered doubtful. "I told you, the only thing I know about math is 1 + 1 = 2," I said playfully, "Really, I suck at this." He smiled. "Get your calculator. If you press 2nd Y, you can see the answers all listed." He stole my calculator and pressed the little buttons. "See? X = 17 and Y = 4. The modus is 5." I looked at him apologetically. "You don't get it, do you?" "I'm sorry." He laughed, saying: "No don't apologize, I'll show you again." And he did. Three more times. That's when I finally got what he was saying. Maybe he should become a teacher. We both got back to our own work after that.

When the bell rang, as a cue the class had finally come to an end, I decided I could ask Edward if he wanted to come to the game this afternoon. I mean, he had no friends, as far as I knew he only talked to me. Sometimes. He could get to know people there. "Edward?" He was about to leave his seat. "The Spartans are playing a game this afternoon, do you want to go watch?" He looked down. Not saying anything for a few seconds, he answered my question. "I don't think I can." Nothing more, nothing less. He just walked away.

Edward

I already slipped once today, I can't afford another mistake. In one fucking day. I promised myself I wouldn't help her with math again. Yet I did. And I loved it. I loved how she would bite her lower lip, if she had no idea what I was saying. I loved the sparkle in her eyes when she finally did understand. I loved how she asked me to the game this afternoon. But I knew if I was going to keep this shit up, I wouldn't get over her. I would become this really pathetic loser, that waits for shit to happen, when it never does. I wasn't going to be that kind of stinker, so I said no.

Walking through the hallways, I bumped into Emmett. "Hey, what's up man!" he poked my shoulder. I nodded. "Jasper and his friends are playing a game this afternoon, I told them you were coming too, so you could meet them, you know. I knew what you said yesterday evening was about you not having friends. It's nothing to be ashamed of, you know." I looked at him, my eyes nearly poppin' out of their sockets. I had to count to ten. Five times. Then I was calm enough to answer him properly. "It was not about that. I'm not going to that game." I wanted to walk passed him, but he grabbed my arm. "There will be girls, if you know what I mean!" He winked. "No thanks." "Come on, Ed! You haven't gotten any since what? 2008?" I rolled my eyes and passed through. "See you at the game!" I heard him yell again.

I had to drag myself to my last class of the day. American History. Great. I looked at the clock. What time would the game start? Would Bella be there by now? Stop it. I started reading again. "Over the 1850s slaves left the border states through sale, manumission and escape, and border states also had more free blacks and European immigrants than the lower South, which increased Southern fears that slavery was threatened with rapid extinction in this..." That's when I heard all the cheering. So the game had begun.

After covering my ears for another forty minutes to shut out the cheering, I was free. Apparently the game was over, my class was over, the schoolday was over and I could go home in peace. At least, that's what I thought.

The whole parking lot was filled with people. Especially the jocks and sluts were everywhere right now. Everywhere together. I tried to get to my Volvo. I was sure Emmett could get a ride with that Jasper guy.

"Edward!" Don't turn around, don't turn around, I thought to myself. I felt someone grab my shoulder. I was about to shake it off until I realized it wasn't a hand I knew. "You're Edward, right?" I looked into the eyes of a blond, tall guy. No doubt this would be Jasper. "Yes. And Edward is going home now." I walked around him and that's when I saw Emmett. With a girl. I didn't know if there were more, but I could see one from here. The curious fucker I am, laid my eye on them a little too long for no one to notice. Jasper stood next to me again. "That's Rosalie. You know her?" "No." I started walking again, he kept his pace. "You know, for someone leaving, you're lingering. Just stay for five minutes so you can meet some of us? Emmett's a friend now and his family is automatically a friend too. Come on, it will be fun." He grabbed my arm. "Come on," he said, nodding his head towards the crowd. "I really don't want to." He didn't let go. Was that how it was going to be? "Listen, Jasper, I'm not into this. I'm going home."

"Edward!" I knew that voice. Too fucking well. I couldn't help but turn around. "You came! Well, you missed the game but you're here anyway. Did you survive your last class?" I looked into Bella's eyes. They were so deep. And had circles around them. I was still worried about her. When she'd walked into class a few hours ago she looked so fucking sad. Like someone died or something. Of course I couldn't ask, because that's just not my fucking place. So I just checked a couple of times, to see if she was okay. She started talking towards the end of class so I assumed she was feeling better. She looked a lot better now. Even a little intoxicated? Did they all drink here? I looked around. Yes, there was certainly beer involved. Bella didn't look like... a drinking person?

That was when I realized she'd actually asked me a question. "Oh, eh, yeah." "Good! This is Alice, and that's Rosalie. Oh you met my cousin, Jasper already?" "Hi," I said to Alice and Rosalie with a face that said 'die' instead of 'hi.' Alice was really nice to me though. "Hey, you're Edward right? Are you surviving the rain?" "A little." She smiled. I could understand why Bella was her friend. Rosalie not so much though. She just looked at me like I was filth. Jasper was trying to be nice to me too, even though I didn't need that shit. "Emmett!" Jasper called, "you're brother came anyway!" I saw everyone's heads turning to look at me and I let a little 'shit' slip out of my mouth. Rosalie smiled evil at me. I really didn't like her. Big tits yes, personality no.

Emmett put his arm around me. "You prick! You said you wouldn't come!" I shook his arm off. "I wasn't, I'm just walking to my car." He smelled like beer. He turned to Bella. "So, I know Rosalie and Alice, but never formally introduced myself to you. I'm Emmett, this my brother Edward." Bella smiled, saying: "I know Edward." He looked at me sheepishly. That's right asshole, I know the prettiest and sweetest girl in school. And probably the girl with the highest amount of alcohol in her blood right now. I could see Alice was keeping an eye on her, once things would escalate, she would take care of Bella. I could also see that Rosalie had a thing for Emmett. Jasper walked towards Alice now and they started talking, which quickly changed to kissing. Ew, I didn't want to see that. After seeing and thinking all this, I turned around and saw Emmett having his arm around Bella's shoulder.

I knew exactly what he was going to do next. I'd seen him do this a thousand times already. I looked at Alice desperately, but she was too busy shoving her tongue down Jaspers throat. I then turned to Rosalie, but she just glared. She liked Emmett right? Then why didn't she do a fucking thing about this shit that was about to happen? Because she hated me already and saw I had a thing for Bella? Did I really have to break up this shit on my own?

Bella looked up at Emmett and Emmett leaned in. I wanted to scream, I wanted to punch him, I wanted to shove my foot up his ass. Emmett closed his eyes, Bella just stared at him, eyes wide open. Was she that naive to not know what was coming? I couldn't help but stare. I didn't care who looked at me like I was a freak now. I was still hoping an elephant would come rushing through the square, but nothing came. Emmett pressed his lips against hers.

I started to run to my car. I bumped into everyone but I didn't care. People yelled at me. Look where you're going! Hey, get the fuck out! Watch out, asshole! I didn't care. I knew Bella wasn't mine, I knew she was fucking drunk and probably wouldn't remember a thing about this tomorrow, I thought she was different. Not a fucking slut that just kisses everyone. Fuck, people can be fooled. Not even to mention Emmett. He didn't know how I felt about Bella, but he should have. Somehow, his instinct should've told him. He could have all the girls in the world, why for fucks sake Bella?! I shut the door to my Volvo and raced home.

I rushed upstairs and put my earbuds in. I needed to calm the fuck down. I closed my eyes, hoping the music would do its job. I looked at my right and saw the guitar hanging on my wall. I wanted to crush it. But somehow I couldn't.