Reflective Triangles
Summary: Sam and Dean try to help a woman who's lost nearly everything, but being Good Samaritans might cost them even more…
So sorry for the delay. I managed to get the site to let me do one thing yesterday and that was it. I assure you, much annoyed yelling at the computer followed… But I digress. On we go.
Chapter Three
Hannah and Sam sat side by side in a pair of lawn chairs. Much to Dean's chagrin, they had set themselves up as spectators after he'd parked Hannah's car beneath an enormous shade tree to work.
"You guys comfy?" Dean asked, not for the first time. Hannah simply laughed while Sam grinned. He knew that Dean would only glare and order him away if he tried to help with the car.
Hannah sat back in her chair, her fingers laced over her belly. She sighed contentedly and Sam couldn't help an answering sigh of his own. Dean, too, he noticed, occasionally glanced up from his work to look in her direction. There was just something innately beautiful in the picture she made of glowing, impending motherhood.
Sam returned to watching Dean, fiddling with his brother only knew what inside the engine compartment. Sam had come downstairs that morning to find breakfast waiting for him and that Dean had already driven into town, gotten Hannah's car running well enough to get back to the house and made a stop at the auto parts store. From the looks of it, he'd probably maxed out one of their cards with everything he'd bought. Hannah was providing meals and a bed, and in exchange Dean had, it seemed, decided to completely rebuild her car. The fact that he'd left the Impala downtown to retrieve Hannah's car told Sam just how dedicated he was to making sure the woman had a running vehicle.
"It's nice having someone around the old place," Hannah said casually.
Dean looked up from his work just long enough to make eye contact with Sam. Now's the time to dig, he seemed to say.
"Paul… is he not always here? At night anyway?" Sam asked.
Hannah shook her head. "No, not always. He just pops in to check on me. Scares the daylights out of me to be honest."
Sam had to smile. The woman was very practical about her situation. Many people would be in a terrible state after what she'd been through.
"Poor man," she said, looking out over the fields, the plants swaying in the gentle breeze. "He just can't quite rest. I try and talk to him when he's here, but it's not really him. He's obsessed with Mr. Kane and keeping me safe from him. Paul can't really talk about anything else."
Sam nodded and he noticed that Dean did too, though he didn't look up. "Ghosts are like that sometimes," Sam offered. "They can't move on. They're just sort of stuck with the last thing they were thinking."
"Makes me miss him more," she smiled, a bit sadly. "I miss being able to talk to him. Really talk to him."
"Is Paul's family around here?"
"No," she shook her head. "It was just him. His parents died several years ago."
"It must be difficult not being able to talk to your own family," Sam said carefully.
She nodded, apparently not uncomfortable with the question. "It's not the way I would like it to be, but it can't be helped. They don't understand… I don't think it's right to be cut off like that from the rest of the world."
Sam couldn't help but think of the similarities in their situations. Hannah had been enclosed, locked into a way of life so different from the average person's, but despite her family's objections she'd left anyway. Sam could still hear his own words to his father, angry and defiant. I just want a normal life. Why is that so wrong? Years' worth of arguments, going on and on.
Hannah shrugged. "They think I've abandoned them. Maybe I have, in a way. I don't want to hurt them, but I can't live like that either." You'd walk out on your family? This is a fight to the death and you're gonna just leave? We're all we've got. His father's voice rang in Sam's ears.
"So you just left?" Sam asked. I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore.
Hannah pursed her lips. "My father was so… disappointed. He begged me not to go. He begged me to find a way to accept a simpler way of life." You're turning your back on your mother, your brother. She's gone, but your brother could still die. People will die because you're not there to protect them. You're just going to walk away from that responsibility?
"But you left anyway," Sam stated the obvious. I'll lose my mind if I stay. I won't be any good to either of you then.
"I left as soon as I made up my mind. I knew I might give in if I waited." If I don't go now, I'll never break free.
"Do you ever regret it?" Sam asked. Dean, this isn't about you. It's about this life.
"Sometimes," she said honestly. "I miss being able to talk to them. I… sometimes this life just doesn't seem real to me. It's like I'm playing at it. Does that make sense?" Sam nodded. How many times had he thought that same thing? The life they led, it was all he'd ever known. And as much as he'd longed for a normal life, even when he'd had it, he'd felt oddly detached at times, like an actor on a stage. The life was normal, but he wasn't. Couldn't be really, though he could pretend.
"But I had Paul." Jess. "It's harder now that he's gone. It would be easy to go back. Easier to go back to what I know, especially with what's going on with Mr. Kane." A sudden look of determination came over her face. "But I won't go back to that life. I can't."
Sam felt like he'd been kicked and for just a few seconds he felt nauseous. Had he caved? Had he given up his dream? Had he let it go for the sake of vengeance? Kane had killed Paul. The demon had killed Jess. Hannah had refused to fall back into the safety and protection of her family. Sam had grabbed the first gun he could find and within days been right back where he had been. He'd wanted so badly to be normal. He'd vowed never to go back to the hunt, never to chase monsters and come home covered in mud, gore and other things he didn't want to think about.
Sam looked up and felt the blood drain from his face. Dean had stopped working and was standing completely immobile, watching him. His stance was casual, but guarded, every barrier he had firmly in place. Dean knew him so well. He knew what he'd been thinking. Sam could see it in his posture, in his very lack of a response. Dean knew.
Dean, who'd stayed behind. Dean who'd been content to be so different from everyone around him. Dean, who'd continued in a life no one else accepted or really understood, a life that was so much harder.
"It's difficult, living a life like that," Sam said, "cut off from society." He was speaking to Hannah, but he kept his eyes on Dean. "It's not easy to keep going even though you know you're different. It takes a courage of its own." I understand better now why you stayed. I understand now why you do what you do. I understand what our duty is.
Hannah nodded, oblivious to the silent conversation going on around her. Yes, their situations bore some similarity, but now that Sam considered it, they were very different. Hannah had left her seclusion, feeling that she could better serve those around her to find faith. She believed a normal life was where she could and should serve others. Sam knew now that for him to help others, he had needed to go back into seclusion. He would have to live separately.
Sam kept his gaze locked with Dean's, willing him to see, willing him to understand. It's all right. I've made my peace with this. I'm not going anywhere. I have to protect people like Hannah. I have to protect you.
Dean remained immobile for several more seconds, then Sam saw something in him relax. It was nothing visible, just something in his bearing. Sam knew it was all he was going to get, but it was enough. Dean rolled his shoulders to loosen them, then bent back to his work under the hood. Nothing to see here, just a guy working on a car, business as usual. No train wreck, no lingering broken-hearted feelings of betrayal and abandonment. Just Dean being Dean.
The sudden thought of comparing Dean's chosen path in life to an Amish person made Sam want to laugh. Dean must have sensed something because he looked up at him again and his eyes narrowed as if to ask, what's so funny? Dean knew him far too well. Sam shook his head and Dean ducked back into the engine compartment.
"Sammy, come here and hold this." Dean's voice was muffled.
Sam blinked, more surprised than if Dean had just asked him to go find a good tofu recipe. "Yeah, sure." It was a peace offering if ever Sam had seen one. Dean's version of a 'we're in this together'.
"If you two will excuse me, I believe I'll take a little nap while you're working on the car." Hannah rose with some effort from the lawn chair. "Don't worry though," she smiled. "I'll have lunch waiting for you when you're ready."
Dean stood once again and came around the car. He grabbed a rag and began wiping the grime from his hands. "Hannah, Sam and I are going to have to drive into town to get our car. We shouldn't be gone too long though," Dean said.
"Oh, don't worry about me," she replied. "It's a beautiful sunny day. No one will try anything."
Dean's frown became ferocious. "Kane tried to burn your house down."
"And now he knows I have guests. It's broad daylight. I'll be fine."
"We should take her with us," Dean said, looking at Sam.
Hannah turned and looked him full in the face. "I've been here for months on my own and I'll be here long after you're gone. I have to live my life, no matter what he does. If he burns the house down to get me to leave, then he burns the house down. It's just a house."
"Hannah…" Dean tried once more, though it was clearly a lost cause.
"Go get your car. I'll be here when you get back." From her tone, Sam could tell she was not going to hear any more on the topic. Then she smiled widely. "And just so you know, lunch is going to be a feast." She stepped up to Dean and put a hand on his arm. "Don't think I don't know how much you're putting into that junk car of mine. It was running when you drove it in this morning and as I recall that was all we bargained for."
Dean grinned, knowing he'd been caught and not minding at all. "She's still running a little rough. Have to earn our room and board."
"Room and board, my left foot." Hannah lightly smacked his arm, then backed up a step so she could look up at him properly. "I can see that you're holding out for cupcakes," she said, then shook her head. "No. You don't look like a cupcake man."
Dean looked down, rubbing a hand across his neck. "That sounds vaguely naughty, but all right." Hannah blushed prettily and that brought out the full Winchester grin. "I wouldn't say no to a pie, though. I love a nice homemade pie."
"Done," she agreed, still blushing, but clearly pleased at the attention. "I'm afraid it will have to be for your dinner though. It takes time to do these things properly."
"Oh, we'll be here," Dean assured her, still grinning. Hannah nodded and headed back toward the house, her dress moving back and forth with her swaying gait.
Dean walked back to the car. He reached in, fiddled around for a moment and then closed the hood.
"I thought you wanted me to hold something," Sam said.
Dean snorted. "I was trying to keep you from running away and joining the Amish."
"I'm not the one flirting with a pregnant Amish woman."
"Dude, she's making me a pie," Dean said defensively. "And she's ex-Amish. It's not like she's a nun."
"Dean…"
"You know," Dean said, sounding a bit annoyed. "It wouldn't kill you to give the woman something to smile about."
"It's true," Sam said.
"What's true?"
"You would flirt with a one-eyed harpy if it would get you food."
Dean straightened and his mouth quirked up at one side. "I'll let Hannah know you compared her to a one-eyed harpy. No pie for you."
"Shut up, Dean. Let's just go get the car and get back here. I don't want her left alone."
Dean immediately sobered and they hurriedly climbed into the car. "You can drive the Impala back. If this one breaks down, you'll never be able to get it started. I need to stop at the auto parts store again anyway."
"You gonna give the car a paint job while you're at it?"
"I might." Dean glared. "The rust bucket could use it."
Sam grinned. "It's cute when you try to be… domestic."
"I'm insulted. I think." Dean cocked his head to one side. "Except that means Hannah thinks I'm cute. What kind of pie do you think she'll make?"
"Drive, Dean."
Dean laughed and started the car. Immediately Sam could hear the difference between when Dean had started working on the car and the sound it was making now. She was practically purring in comparison.
"You've gotta be kidding me." Dean clenched his teeth and his hands were white-knuckled where he was holding the steering wheel.
Sam looked behind them and had to agree. Police lights. "You gonna run for it?"
Dean shook his head and pulled the car to the side of the road. "She'll never outrun a cop car. We've just got to bluff our way out of this. The IDs should hold well enough for a traffic stop."
"DRIVER, STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE." The officer was using his loudspeaker.
"Crap."
Once again, Sam had to agree. It meant this was more than just a traffic stop. The officer wasn't approaching the car. No License and registration please. They'd gone straight for the Get out because we're pretty sure you're bad guys.
Moving his upper body as little as possible, Dean took the gun he had tucked at his back and shoved it under the seat as he got out of the car. Following the policeman's commands, he turned his back to the cop and backed toward him, then knelt on the ground, his hands on his head.
"PASSENGER, STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE."
Sam's turn. Another police car arrived and parked behind the first. As Sam held his arms out wide and knelt, Dean was already being cuffed.
"I'm being punished," Dean muttered.
"Quiet," the officer ordered.
"I'm being punished for flirting with a nun."
I'll be more circumspect this time and say - site willing, more tomorrow…