Okay. So. I've been dealing with some personal stuff lately, and I've been really busy... But I needed to write, and few nights ago I ended up reading so many fanfics. OH THE FEELS ATTACKED ME GOOD. And made me remember I needed to write this again x3
Along with my other two (or three? ._.) I started a while ago. I gotta get on it xD
Another Kira POV, except for flashbacks. Soon, Shū POV will come...
Anyways. Enjoy the chapter. Leave constructive criticism if ya want, and tell me what cha think!
-oh by the way, I was thinking I would pause this one and write a few of the other fics I've been meaning to write, one focusing on Kira's healing process and another focusing on Hisagi's. And…stuff. LOL. Some of that is hinted at in this since it was significant in my mind to this story, as all my main fics seem to be tied together. Anyways, who would be interested?-
Also. This is bothering me that I didn't clarify before; they're wearing clothes from the World of the Living. So t-shirts. Shorts. Maybe not Fundoshi…
ooo
Hisagi mostly just spooned his oatmeal, moving it around until it appeared to be somewhat eaten. Kira knew he shouldn't nag him about it. He knew if he did, Hisagi would say he wasn't hungry, which could eventually lead to Kira getting angry. Which Kira really needed to just remain calm. Not only that, but Kira could see that Hisagi was still tired, dark shadows under his eyes almost matching his bruises.
The two sat there, each with their own bowl, relatively awkward and quiet. Kira stood up and took his dishes to the sink, and came back and asked if Hisagi was done. He got an eye-contactless nod in response. Hisagi did eat some of the oatmeal, but not nearly as much as he should have. Kira washed the dishes, and put them away, then came back to Hisagi.
"It's time we talked," he said plainly.
Hisagi seemed to flinch at his words.
"Hisagi-san..." Shūhei looked up at Kira after hearing his name.
"Okay..." Hisagi tried to get up, but he wasn't able to get up on his own
Kira knew exactly what the dark haired man was thinking as he lowered his head, covering his eyes with his bangs, like Kira used to do all the time. Before he helped me get out of that hole Gin threw me in…
"Here," Kira offered his former friend his shoulder. Hisagi accepted, giving Kira more of his body weight than he did earlier. The weight was too much for Kira to balance himself and Hisagi, and he had to place an arm around Hisagi's rib cage. Hisagi let out a gasp of pain at the touch. Kira led them over to his sofa, setting Hisagi on it as gingerly as possible, except Shūhei's arm completely dropped off the blond, and he slammed down onto the couch harder than Kira had wanted. Kira sat next to him, with a space large enough for another person between them. Kira did this to protect himself. He didn't want to get too close to Shūhei. Not again. He knew if that gap was filled, he would try to physically comfort the other man, which could lead to giving him false hope for a restored friendship. Yet, at the same time, he wanted to be closer to Hisagi than he ever was before.
"So... Where do you want to start?" Kira cued Hisagi to start talking about everything.
"I-..." Hisagi sighed, as he rubbed his temple a little bit, avoiding the head trauma he had earlier in the morning. "Where should I start?"
"With when you cheated on me for the first time." Kira knew this came out a bit more bitter than he expected it would, but it was the truth.
"Okay... I guess it was about nine or ten months ago now... Rangiku came onto me..."
…
"Hisagi-kun!" Rangiku appeared in the 9th division's office just as Hisagi was getting really bored with his paper work and when Tōsen-Taichou was out.
"Matsumoto," Hisagi said, smiling warmly at the big-breasted women that just slammed open his door. She was overflowing with radiance. "What brings you in my office at this hour?"
"I am here to officially ask you on a date!" She knelt down, propping her head up on her elbow on the dark-haired man's desk, he breasts spilled onto his desk, displaying her marvelous cleavage for him to admire, which he was.
Shūhei could only stare at her in disbelief. And stare at her massive boobs on his desk, they're begging to be felt up and... He cut himself off at that, not wanting to go on. Not now. This had to have been one of her bad jokes.
"So, whatdoya say, Hisagi-kun~?" She stood up fully this time.
"What?" Hisagi was still dumbfounded by her proposal. It was so random and yet so irresistible.
Then she came over to where Hisagi sat and brought her face very close to his, close enough that Hisagi could smell her sensational scent. And then, even more unexpectedly, she kissed him.
As her lips moved, half-massaging Shūhei's lips, parting them open, and with more shock, his eyes widened before accepting this scenario as reality. He moved his hands onto her hips; those hips had been an object of Hisagi's curiosity for the longest time. He had always wondered what they would feel like in this kind of situation.
And then, she straddled him, climbing onto him while he sat on his chair and she wrapped her legs around his waist, all while investigating his mouth with her tongue. He could feel her chest against his, and it felt so good. She placed one hand on his chest and tried to explore some of his skin underneath the Shihakusho, but Hisagi reflexively grabbed her wrist, not wanting her to feel his scars from him. Although Hisagi knew they would just feel like any other scar a shinigami would get through battle or training, they still weren't something he wanted her, or anyone, to see; he knew why they were there, and it pained him.
She parted their lips, both opening their eyes suddenly and widely. Hisagi quickly dropped her wrist, both knowing what the other was thinking, both wanting to forget the way Hisagi had just reacted. She finally asked him again, "so what'll it be, Hisagi-kun?"
"What time?" was all Hisagi could say. How could he say no? Since the day he first met her, he knew he wanted to at least try being with her. And that day he got to try it out was today!
"Whenever you want," she winked at him.
"Seven?" Hisagi said, reminding himself he needed to finish his paperwork before.
"Sounds fantastic," she said in an erotic way, making Hisagi have shivers be sent all through his body.
Much to his displeasure, the beautiful woman dismounted him,, and yet pleasure, she began to walk away like she owned the entire world. "I'll see you tonight, darling. Be prepared," she said, as she looked over her shoulder and winked once again.
Oh shit! What did that mean?! Be prepared? For what? Does she mean have condoms ready?! She couldn't possibly... But... Hisagi shook his head and slapped himself a little, bringing himself back to reality. Paperwork first, he thought firmly.
Kira came in for lunch, as he usually did now that they were together, allowing them to have privacy: keeping their relationship out-of-sight. It wasn't that they were afraid of what others thought, but it wasn't much of anyone else's business. No one knew. Well, except Ukitake-Taichou, whom Hisagi had consulted about the relationship he had wanted with the blond before actually going through with it. He knew Ukitake had a relationship with Squad Eight's Taichou, and has for a long time, even though it may have been hard.
And the moment Kira walked through the door, he panicked. Oh shit! I'm with Kira! But... No one else knows that... No one else will need to know what Rangiku and I have, either... But shit! I cheated on Kira already… Just one date. That's all. And then I'll tell Kira about it…
Hisagi quickly regained composure, not letting Kira notice. He finished up the paperwork he was currently working on, finishing the page before he ate his lunch with Kira.
While eating, the couple talked about work, mostly.
"I'm going to be working late tonight, I'm sort of behind on my paperwork today," Hisagi smiled sheepishly, yet not letting on that he was lying. He was a good liar. He always wished he wasn't a good liar, but he had learned how to hide his problems from others, especially his internal issues with Kazeshini.
"Oh, all right. How late?" Kira said between bites. Kira had really learned to relax since he got away from Ichimaru; once Hisagi finally realized what was wrong with Kira since he graduated from the Academy, he reminded Kira how to stand up for himself again. Reminded him how to protect himself. It took far too many years for Hisagi to stop lying to himself, though, and confront Kira.
"I'm not sure yet… It depends on if Taichou gives me anything more; he's been really busy with a lot lately, so I'm trying to pick up some of the slack… Well, whatever slack he lets me," the two laughed together, both smiling. "Can we do something tomorrow?"
"Of course," Kira smiled warmly. It was great seeing Kira genuinely smile and laugh again. He had forgotten what he was like, hardly getting to know him much in those days. Those were the days Renji used to talk about, comparing Kira to then a before. Kira was feeling a lot better now, though. And Shūhei was delighted he was.
Before Kira left, Hisagi kissed him and hugged him tightly, I promise, Kira… I won't let this date tonight get out of hand… Even though he knew Kira couldn't hear his thoughts, and even if he could, he wouldn't have known what he was talking about.
Hisagi didn't have time to stop back at his home to prep for his date, so he just rinsed his face in a sink at the office before heading to the Tenth to meet Rangiku. I need something for this, don't I! Like, flowers… Although he thought it was lame, he just picked a flower he passed while walking lacking the time to buy some actual flowers.. It was a pink flower, like her scarf, which faded to white on the tips of its pedals.
He walked quickly, being extremely eager. Anyone would be to have a date with her.
Arriving at the Tenth, Shūhei found Rangiku waiting just outside for him, and as she saw him, she ran up to him and hugged him hard. He offered her the flower he had picked for her, and she smiled and kissed his cheek, putting it in her hair.
She looks beautiful…
He held out his arm, and she latched on, the two walking just like a couple would… And guilt washed over him; he did his best to brush it off and enjoy the night.
I'm sorry, Kira… He thought, hearing Kazeshini laughing at him ever so slightly.
Most of the night was a blur after they had gotten to the restaurant they decided to go to. It was a nicer place than Shūhei usually went to when he went out drinking with friends; it was a date after all. Although, as soon as they got there, Rangiku insisted in getting some sake, saying how both Fukutaichous needed to loosen up. Right after ordering, she went to the restroom, and as soon as she got back, the sake having all ready been served, she challenged him to a drinking contest; loser having to … what did they decided the loser would have to do? Hisagi couldn't remember.
Hisagi woke up the next morning in shock, finding her in his futon, both himself and Rangiku being mostly naked. He climbed out, trying not to wake her. He panicked, covering his gaping mouth, trying to prevent himself from swearing, yelling about how badly he screwed up. He noticed his hakama on the ground nearby, and slipped back into it without stirring Rangiku, not wanting to have the situation seem as bad as it had if she woken up right now.
Wait. Slow down, Shūhei, maybe we didn't do anything. Maybe we both just got naked and passed out! We did drink a lot last night… Hisagi's head spun, trying to keep the ideas of how wrong things could've gotten last night out of his head. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and he had to go to his bathroom, getting up gently so he didn't wake Rangiku. Immediately he threw up, just barely making it to the bathroom toilet. "Ughh..." He threw up again.
He clearly drank way too much last night. Some kind of first date that was… Getting drunk and spending the night here… So lame… He hoped Rangiku didn't drink too much...
That thought lead him to his under-the-sink stash of condoms he had. One box. Unopened. He was saving it for when Kira and himself became active. When both felt ready for it.
Shit... if we did do anything...it was unprotected. Hisagi flinched, then noticed his reflection in the mirror. His scars from him didn't look bad anymore. They almost blended with the others, although the burns stood out. Quickly he closed the cabinet, rinsed out his mouth, and washed the grime and oil off his face.
"Oh, there you are," Matsumoto appeared in the doorway, smiling just as Shūhei dried his face. She had her Shihakusho back on, and she gracefully came into the bathroom with Hisagi.
I don't want her seeing these... He thought about his scars again, and the shameful memories they brought on. He brushed them away, focusing on her and not his own bare chest.
She smelled like herself rather than sake, like he did. She came close to Hisagi and embraced him, "good morning, Shūhei," she said with a smile, followed by a tender kiss. Hisagi was dumbstruck once again. "You sleep well, dear?"
He didn't remember anything from last night, and Rangiku was... Well, she was being lovey dovey! What the hell happened last night! And since when does she call me Shūhei?!
"Yeah, I think so. And you?"
"It only would've been better if I had woken up next to you," she sounded slightly sad saying this. Like he was obligated to be there. It was weird to say the least.
"Sorry, I, uh," he glanced at the toilet, which still had his vomit in it, and she giggled. "Yeah," he smiled meekly.
"Oh, Shūhei,"
"What?" The way she said that made him wonder if he had made some type of move on her last night; something crazy, like he proposed to her.
"Nothing," she smiled and kissed him again. The kiss felt like it lasted for hours. It was only a seconds though.
"Matsumoto, I'm sort of confused," he confessed, "what exactly happened last night?"
"Oh? You don't remember?"
"Nothing..." He knew this wouldn't sound good. Not good at all.
"Well, we had a date," she batted her eyelashes at him.
"I remember that much..." He was baffled. Nothing made sense.
"We really hit it off, and then we came here, and, well, I think you know what happened," she winked at him and smiled.
"Umm, that's also sort of what I'm wondering what exactly happened..." Now he felt really humiliated. This was Rangiku Matsumoto he was talking about. How could he forget if they did something!?
"You mean you already forgot this?" She said, grinding up against him, thrusting her pelvis against him. "Only, minus these clothes," she said, whispering against his neck, then kissing the skin exposed around his choker.
And that was exactly what he was afraid of, cursing himself as his body melted against this movement.
Stop! Shūhei, dammit! STOP!
"I-" Rangiku kissed him, cutting him off, and kept going, squeezing Hisagi's arms and drawing him into her more. A shudder went through his body, thinking Kira was in his home. He didn't know why he would have that thought, it was just a concern he had knowing Kira had a key to his place.
"Shūhei, what's wrong?" she had worried eyes.
He stepped back, separating himself from her, "I just remembered I have a meeting this morning!" he lied. "Shit! I have to get ready!"
"Oh, sorry," she backed out of his bathroom, and let him situate himself.
What the fuck am I doing! I'm with Kira! Why the hell did I accept going on a date with her!
…
"The rest of that day... I was terrified that you had found out... I honestly was going to tell you the first moment I saw you... But I was so scared you would... I don't know, hate me? Break up with me? You didn't come for your lunch break, which I was worried about, and I didn't allow myself a lunch break, since I didn't bring anything to eat... And the guilt ate away at me all day to the point where I thought... I don't know what I thought." Hisagi sounded like he was going to cry. "I guess I got both in the end..." Hisagi refused to look at him, all throughout his story telling. Mostly had had his eyes on his hands, or anywhere that wasn't Kira.
"Hisagi, you knew throughout everything how you shouldn't have cheated! How could you!? Why weren't you strong enough to stop!?" Kira exploded, Hisagi staring at him with wide eyes. Kira lowered his voice and regained composure, remembering this wasn't about him. "Sorry... But, Hisagi... Do you think the way I found out was better?"
"No! God, Kira, no..." Hisagi buried his face in his hands; his voice was so pain-filled it hurt Kira to hear it. "I... Ugh..."
"It's okay, Shū," Kira accidentally used his shortened name without thinking. Kira knew the scarred man found it very comforting and endearing… It wasn't his place to use.
"I never wanted you to find out because I couldn't bare to tell you myself... I had so much shame… I allowed myself to have sex with her just because...well... just because she wanted to, I guess. It was always on her time..."
"How many times did you two..." Kira paused, wanting to rephrase that, "how many times until I found out?"
"Five..." Hisagi knew exactly how many. He had put a lot of thought into it before.
"Where?"
"Twice at my place, once at her office, and outside..."
"That only accounts for four times... And I stumbled upon one of them..."
…
It was burned into Kira's memory. He couldn't forget it, no matter how hard he tried. He went to the Tenth Division to deliver some paperwork there, and Hitsugaya-Taichou had asked him to put away a broom someone had carelessly left off on his way out. Walking out of the Taichou's office, he came across the closet the broom belonged to, which he heard noises in. Like someone being shoved against the wall. Kira was worried someone was getting hurt in there or something. He sprang the door open, light spilling inside the storage closet from the hallway. He was wrong about being shoved up against a wall. They were being shoved up against the door. The people inside, the one that was against the door sprang away from the door with a yelp, shocked from the sudden change. He saw Matsumoto's back, and she had someone she had shoved further into the closet with her, whom had fallen into the wall with a thud. He noticed her hakama wasn't on, and he panicked.
Then she turned around and hit him across his face, screaming, "get out!"
Kira stumbled backwards, seeing whom it was she was with: Shūhei Hisagi. He, too, had his hakama off, and his eyes were wide, like Kira's, having strong eye contact with the blond.
Kira ran. He ran out of the Tenth Division, and kept running. He didn't run back to the Third, but rather to his parent's grave. He wasn't sure why, but he did. And he sat there, and cried. Maybe he did this because it was the only place a grown man could cry in public without being looked at funny. Maybe it was because he didn't know what else to do.
He stayed there, curled up with his knees against his chest, hugging them. His face already was swelling where Matsumoto had hit him. He didn't understand. He and Shūhei had gotten through so many of their inner demons with one another. It just didn't make any sense. Was it because Kira hadn't been putting out? But Shūhei has his own sexual barriers because of him, also. How could he just do that...
"K-Kira?" Kira lifted up his head, facing Hinamori.
"Oh, hi," he tried to fake a smile through his tears, but couldn't.
"What are you doing here?" She was surprised. Kira remembered that this was near where Hitsugaya-Taichou's grandmother was buried. It made sense that she was coming to visit her.
"I... I just need my parents right now," he touched his mother's tombstone and more tears spilled out.
"Are you all right?" She sat down text to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I will be..."
"What happened to your face?" Hinamori noticed the place Matsumoto struck him on.
…
"Also once in a closet at the Academy..." Hisagi's voice was full of remorse.
"Wow. Have you no shame?" Kira was disgusted at the fact that Hisagi had defiled their school like that.
"I... She just showed up before one of my lessons later that first week, and asked if she could talk to me... And she wrote a note my board telling the class I would be back five minutes after class started, and that they should review the previous material. I thought something was wrong..." Hisagi paused and Kira wondered if he should ask a question or something. "She... led me into a closet, and locked the door and stripped herself before I actually realized what was going on." Hisagi shook his head, showing his disgust at this.
"I see..."
"After you found out, I wanted to explain myself. I tried to... but you always brushed me off and wouldn't look at me. When we were with Renji, and Ikkaku, and Yumichika, you kept your distance and made sure we wouldn't ever be alone together..."
"Wouldn't you do the same?"
"I would..." Hisagi tilted his head down and away from Kira.
I'm giving you something close to a chance now...
"I just... I hoped you would give me a chance I didn't deserve..."
You're right. You didn't deserve it. But... I didn't know everything...
"And then when she told me she was pregnant, I knew I couldn't leave her. You know, I had to be a father." Kira thought about how Hisagi had his direct idea of right and wrong still, and he admired that., even if he did cheat. "And now... That... That" Hisagi was choking up
"Wait... It was less than seven months ago that I found out... Unless you were cheating on my for over two months..."
"I wasn't!" Hisagi looked over now, curiosity in his eyes, wondering what Kira was getting at.
"What if that really isn't your child? I mean, I don't see Matsumoto as the type to really sleep around a lot, but... I don't trust her... And you said it wasn't yours..."
"I-I know I was te-rrible and cheated on you in an e-extreme sense, but I swear." Hisagi was on the verge of tears, and he was shaking. "I don't think that's my child! It doesn't look anything like me!" He managed to scream those words out I-it looks like-" Hisagi didn't finish his sentence because he broke out into violent sobs.
Kira watched him for a few seconds; he was amazed this was the Hisagi he used to know. And then he made a decision that could've been one of the worst he could make. He scooted closer to Hisagi, and hugged him. He felt a shudder go through Hisagi, probably being just as shocked as Kira was at his own actions, but then Hisagi relaxed and dove into the blond's shoulder.
They stayed like that a while, Kira stroking the damaged man's hair, trying to calm him down.
ooo
Do you think my characters are OOC at all? Just wondering...
Hopefully you enjoyed. Or hated it. Whichever one comes better o.o
Also, I don't own Bleach, or any of these characters.
Thanks to those who have read and reviewed so far, it means a lot!