Alex Rider awoke the next day at the sound of a door slamming. Flipping open his phone and squinting at the small screen with one eye, he found it to be eight thirty, but had no energy to get out of bed to check if Wolf was home.
Not that it mattered anyway, he didn't want to see the man if he was just going to be yelled at again. The SAS soldier would just have to learn eventually that Alex was not someone you could simply tell what to do.
He'd shot the Prime Minister, snowboarded down a mountain on an ironing board, base jumped, been shot in the chest himself, and jumped out of outer space. At such a young age, the fifteen year old had already surpassed someone twenty years older in expertise, and he was not going to let someone he didn't even share mutual respect with order him around.
He frowned slightly, rolling back to face the wall, pulling his quilt around him comfortably, wondering where the heavy and narcissistic thoughts had come from so early in the morning.
Alex spent the next two hours lying in bed, drifting in and out of consciousness before he found himself wide awake and unable to lie still any longer.
After a quick shower, he wandered down to the kitchen and boiled the kettle, unable to stop himself thinking of Jack as he popped a teabag into a tall red mug.
He opened the fridge, and stared at the contents for a long time; so long his eyes unfocused. Deciding on some old bran cereal, as opposed to taking the effort to cook something, he poured it into a bowl along with some milk, finished making his tea, and sat down in front of the television. He had just gotten into a comfortable position and was reaching for the remote when when a frantic knocking at the door disturbed the peace of the small flat.
"James!" A deep male voice cried. "Wolf! Let me in!"
Alex sighed and looked toward the ceiling. He knew it. He knew Wolf couldn't have had any friends outside of the SAS, the man was too damn hostile.
He took his time getting up, and the knocking became hysterical.
"It's about ti- Cub? What the fuck?"
Alex raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Eagle. Can I help you?"
The soldier had gone from agitated to completely confused in a second flat, and had almost forgotten why he was at the apartment.
"I ah, am I at the wrong flat? Oh my god, this is so awkward."
"Nope, I live with Wolf now. He's at work."
"Wait, what? We don't talk to the man for a week and he goes and adopts a kid out of loneliness."
Alex couldn't help but snort at this. "Well you know how much Wolf loves the company." He replied sarcastically.
"Well um, hope he's not being too hard on you and everything." Eagle finished rather lamely. "I'll come around again later."
"Yeah, catch you." Alex closed the door and went back to the couch. It was lovely living in a household where a soldier banging down the door was a natural occurrence.
His cereal had gone soggy and there was nothing on TV, so he gave up and went back to the guest room, and dialled Tom's number.
It took seven rings before the boy picked up his phone.
"What?" He answered sleepily.
"Tom! Wake up you lazy slut, I'm bored."
He was promptly hung up on.
Alex collapsed back first onto the bed, staring up at the clean white ceiling. It wasn't even lunch yet and he was so bored.
He lied there for what seem like eternity, but when he checked his phone, he saw it was only ten to twelve.
He decided to get ready and leave before any more members of K-Unit decided to show up.
He collected his phone, wallet, and key, and left for the Tube.
It was a nice day outside, there was a weak cool wind but the sun made up for it, and the walk was quite pleasurable.
Half an hour later he was strolling down Tom's street and knocking on his door. When there was no answer, he concluded Tom had gone back to sleep and was home alone. The door was unlocked, and the spy easily ambled through the house and kicked open his best friend's bedroom door with a vicious war cry.
Tom let out a muffled exclamation of surprise and buried under his blanket.
"Rise and shine, Tommikins!"
"Alex! G'way!"
"It's past noon you lazy twat, get out of bed." He emphasised this by sitting on the lump cowering under the covers, until he was knocked off the bed with a pillow to the face.
Tom gave a non-committal groan before rolling over and closing his eyes.
There was a pause as Alex looked around for a weapon heavy enough to get his friend out of bed.
"..Wait, what day is it?"
"Saturday." Alex supplied from the floor where he'd landed.
Tom shot up as though he'd been electrocuted. "What? Tonight's that cute waitress's party?"
"Yep."
"Why didn't you say so? I'm going to go shower." The boy ran out of his room with energy he didn't seem to have had two minutes ago.
Alex sighed- at least he had different scenery to be bored in now.
He opened his phone and texted Jessie's number.
Party still on tonight? X
It took two seconds for the girl to reply.
Be here at 10 xxx
It was a good thing Tom wasn't big on hygiene, because he was only staring at the ceiling for five minutes when the boy strolled back in, wet haired and fully dressed, holding two Coronas, one of which he handed to Alex.
"Really, Tom? It's not even one yet." The spy raised an eyebrow as he took the bottle.
"Hey! Don't judge me. Today has good vibes, man. I can feel it."
The two spent the majority of the day doing what most teenage boys do best; defeating Nazi zombies on Call of Duty and drinking beers.
It was seven o'clock before both boys lost their round, tipsy and giggling.
Tom glanced at his wrist before realising he didn't own a watch.
"You know what time it is Alex?" He asked, a giant smile on his face.
"What time is it, Tom?"
"SHOTS O'CLOCK!" The dark hair boy howled, throwing his hands up in the air as he stood up and walked down the stairs. Alex followed, a little slower, laughing at his friend's enthusiasm.
"When are your parents getting home?" Alex asked as they reached the kitchen and Tom was reaching into a cupboard to bring out a large glass bottle of Smirnoff Vodka.
"Not tonight!" Tom grinned, pulling out fruit juice, a protein drink container, and two shot glasses.
He put some ice in the drink container, and poured in the vodka and juice, then shook it roughly.
Alex sat down on the opposite side of the bench and watched Tom pour the alcoholic liquid into the two tiny glasses.
"It's pink." He wrinkled his nose.
"It's apple and guava." Tom insisted, shoving it across the bench like an impatient bartender. "Toast?"
They clinked glasses. "To good vibes and hot waitresses!"
The vodka burned Alex's throat as he swallowed, and he couldn't help making a face, but it didn't taste all that bad. Tom was already taking the glass away from him and pouring another one.
"The party's not til ten. How are you expecting to get there if we're too wasted to stand up?"
"Relax, Alex. Good vibes!"
He tossed his head back for another shot again and slammed the glass down on the bench. Alex followed suit, beginning to feel a pleasant warm numbness in his fingers.
.
Wolf was looking much like his namesake pacing the small living room and growling in frustration. It was now nine o'clock, past his wards curfew.
"He's a responsible boy, James. I'll sure he just got held up."
"He's not responsible!" Cried Wolf in exasperation. He would have grabbed his hair in frustration if it wasn't so closely shaved to his scalp. "He's a little shit, it's Saturday night, and he has a freaking terrorist organisation out to get him!"
"Have you tried ringing him?" Ben Daniels asked, bewildered.
"Well uh.. I haven't exactly got his number." The leader admitted sheepishly. He was fixed with dead stares from his unit.
"He's got yours though, right?" Fox was becoming increasingly worried.
"I don't think so?"
Eagle burst into laughter from his seat on the couch. "I-I'm sorry!" He cried, holding his stomach. "Just of all people to give a kid to," he dissolved into sniggers, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.
"Shut up!" Wolf hissed, reaching over to give Eagle a dead arm. "It's not like I asked for it."
"But why not Fox?" Snake looked to his old teammate. "Don't you both work at MI6?"
Ben stroked his chin, neglecting to mention Australia. "Yeah. I don't know."
"Where is he, though? I told him not to go out!"
"I'm sure he'll show up." Eagle sighed, rubbing his bruised bicep, as he walked toward the fridge.
"Beer. Anyone?" He asked. Everyone accepted gratefully.
.
It was ten thirty as Alex and Tom stumbled up to the door of Jessie the Waitress's (the pair had come to call her) parent's house. It was a large, expensive looking estate, half an hour away from the nearest bus stop, which had forced the pair of overly tipsy teenagers to walk.
Alex helped Tom off the ground for the sixth time, (or more? Who could remember) and they walked down the impressive looking driveway together, stopping to try and catch a ginger cat that had been wandering away from the rowdy party.
"Commere kitty," Tom crowed, holding his finger out come hither, which the cat merely looked at with an offended expression on his squashed face.
Alex fell to the ground laughing, howling something incoherent about how Tom was never going to find a lover.
There was already an array of cans, bottles, and general litter on the pristine lawn. There were a few girls in skimpy dresses smoking on a small brick wall, and they could hear the heavy bass of trance music and people laughing before they even entered.
The first thing that hit them was the smell of smoke and alcohol- it was almost overwhelming. The mansion was classy and expensive looking, probably a heritage building, with a large entrance hall area currently being used as a dance floor by around thirty people.
"Good vibes!" Tom tried to shout over the loud music, heading straight for a table pushed up against a wall with a huge bowl of punch.
Alex followed dreamily, pushing through the crowd, his hand lingering longer than necessary on a cute blonde's back. She turned to give him an appreciative smile, which he returned eagerly.
When he reached the punch table, Tom was already chatting to a short brunette; she was laughing at something he said as he passed her a drink.
"Alex!" He yelled and Alex had to lean in to hear what he was saying. "This is Cassie."
He smiled at the girl and she returned it. "So you're the famous Alex Rider?" She yelled in his ear.
He laughed and shook his head modestly. Surely anything the girl had heard about him wouldn't be good.
She dropped the conversation, turning back to Tom and laying a hand on his arm as he swung to the music, and dragged him out to the dance floor.
The next hour blurred for Alex as he spent the next hour dancing and laughing with the cute blonde girl he'd come across before, though he hadn't seen Jessie yet. The heavy bass of dubstep flowed through every particle of his being, and he was sure he'd never felt so carefree.
The pair decided to move off into the backyard, away from the strobe lights and sweaty crowd where they could hear each other speak.
There was a group of stoners in one far corner of the lawn, passing around a pipe, looking far too serious to be having fun. Alex and his partner ignored them, joining hands and making lame jokes that were entirely too funny.
Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani was pumping through the sound system, and the girl (Alex wasn't quite sure of her name yet) tossed her hands into the air, swaying to the beat.
"Cause I aint no hollaback girllll!" She sang, grabbing the boy's hand. "Come on, Alex, dance with me."
They shared cheeky smiles, as they danced together on the lawn, too drunk to care about the stares they were receiving.
But suddenly the music cut off, and everyone stopped talking, and any teenager who's ever been to a house party would know what that means.
"Police!" Alex laughed, pulling the girl along in a run to the fence line, the adrenaline sobering him up a little.
The fence was far too high and impossibly flat to climb over, but there was a handy tree in the far corner which looked almost too easy to scale.
"I can't climb that!" The girl moaned (seriously, what was her name?), tugging on her short, tight skirt, but tugging off her heels.
"You know what they do to pretty girls like you in jail?" Alex stood behind her with his hands on her hips to lift her onto the first branch. "Ready?"
He climbed behind her carefully, ready to catch her if she slipped.
"You're going to have to jump!" He encouraged her. She gave a frightened wail as she looked down at the ground, but Alex had to admire her bravery as she slipped off the branch and thudded on the ground, unharmed.
He followed, grabbing her hand again and pulling her to his chest in a chaste kiss, before breaking it and pulling her away from the fence. They could hear the sound of scuffling and yelling on the other side, and ran through the forest area that surrounded the estate.
They ran for a while stumbling over everything wildly until they reached the road, and then walked some more, struggling to catch their breath. When they reached the bus stop, there was already a large group of drunken teenagers waiting. Tom was one of them, or Alex thought it was Tom. Between his best friend and the girl he was wrapped around, he couldn't really tell where one started and the other ended.
That was the last thing Alex remembered before he was suddenly strolling down the road of Wolf's building, blasting music through his terrible quality phone speakers.
Time was irrelevant to the young spy as he stumbled through the small lobby, but even he knew it would probably be some unreasonable hour of the morning. He turned his music off, and tripped over a potted plant as he was concentrating of the phone screen.
"Shushhhhh." He reprimanded the inanimate object in a whisper. "You'll wake Wolf up!"
He swayed to an imaginary beat as he waited for the elevator, Hollaback Girl repeating itself in his head, and he had to grip onto the rail as the lift moved upwards, feeling his stomach go up four floors and tie in knots. He wondered what the other occupants of Wolf's flat would think if they came across a puddle of vomit in the middle of the hallway- not that he's ever seen any of Wolf's neighbours, now that the spy thought about it.
It sure seemed like an appropriate time to knock door to door and get to know them, though. They were probably lovely people.
But sure enough, Alex lost track of what he was doing and found himself almost mechanically at apartment 12D.
It took him a few goes to get the key in the slot, after a few whispered encouragements and having to stick his tongue out in exactly the right direction, the door swung open, far too loud to be inconspicuous.
Not that the teen was getting away with it anyway, all the lights were still on, and the television suddenly turned down.
Standing in the small living room, was a livid Wolf, and a worried looking Fox. Perched on the couch were Eagle and Snake, looking for all the world as if an exciting game of tennis was about to start.
Alex couldn't help himself. He stared at the scene for a moment, fixing an innocent expression on his face before losing an internal battle and bursting into raucous laughter, leaning against the wall for support.
"I- I knew it!" He slurred through the giggles. "It's like walking into a fucking zoo!"
"Cub!" Wolf was barking. The man marched over to the intoxicated teen and grabbed him roughly by the arm. "Are you fucking drunk?"
Eagle was laughing in the background, and Snake was struggling to hide an amused expression.
"No! Of course not, I'm an angel." He fixed Wolf with his best smile.
"This isn't like you Alex." Ben piped in, his arms crossed and concern etched on his face.
"How would you know?" Wolf spun around and demanded.
"Food." Alex groaned from where he'd collapsed on the floor.
"Food." Eagle agreed, nodding his head understandably.
"Food?" Wolf growled.
"Foo-!"
"Shut up Eagle! No Alex, you aren't going to burn the complex down attempting to cook. Do you have any idea what damn time it is? You're going to bed; I can't deal with you right now."
This was when K- Unit lost control, exploding with laughter.
"Wolf's a daddy!" Fox cried, a hand over his heart and a proud expression on his face.
"Shut up!" Wolf snarled, and no one in the room had to wonder why he'd been given that exact codename.
He grabbed Alex by the leg and dragged him down the hall, and K- Unit listened to the thuds of Cub resisting, wails of "Fooood!" and giggles before finally, silence.
Wolf walked out of the room with a positively evil grin on his face, brushing his hands together as though warding away dirt.
.
Alex woke up feeling as though he'd been ransacked by a group of angry goats, and was vaguely aware he was drowning in a large puddle of his own spit.
Peeling his cheek away from his arm slowly, he was bewildered to see a phone number written in a large font all down his forearm in permanent marker. When had that happened? He wiped the cold spit off his face on his shirt, which happened to be the one he was wearing last night. There was a large pink stain on the front of the white material.
A throb of pain attacked his membrane and his stomach did a backflip. Unable to contain the loud groan of pain that escaped his lips, he chose to ignore the vicious laughter coming from the kitchen as he entered the bathroom.
A quick look in the mirror confirmed his worse fear- he looked terrible.
His hair was a complete mess, the ink on his arm had imprinted on his pale face, and his eyes were horribly bloodshot, but it was still nothing compared to what he was feeling.
After a long, long session of sitting in the shower wishing he'd never agreed to go to the party, he stumbled into the kitchen where Wolf was sitting, eating eggs and bacon completely covered in tomato sauce. The smell was completely seductive to Alex's pained nostrils.
"Morning, Cub!" Wolf greeted cheerfully. "Wonderful day, isn't it?"
The light spilling from the open windows was attacking the teen's eyes, and Alex felt the symptoms of a migraine coming on. He walked over and pulled them shut.
"You're a cruel, cruel man. You know that?" His only response was a wicked smile. "I feel sorry for you. You were probably neglected as a child, and now you have to live the rest of your miserable existence cold and unable to love."
"Lovely impression you made on everyone last night. They came over just to see you, and you made a complete idiot of yourself."
Alex was in too much pain to care. "Whatever." He grabbed a spoon and the tub of icecream out of the freezer and shuffled back to his room to avoid the light.