Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea (I guess)
Also, no beta, please excuse any grammar errors.
"Stop picking at the stiches, Alex!" Wynne exclaimed slapping the soldier's hand away where it was picking the scabs between the several stitches on her right arm.
"But it itches! And I should be on duty right now, not stuck in here," she grumbled annoyed that she had to be on bed leave a full day not the original three hours Wynne had told her. Once they discovered that another stray bullet had managed to pierce her shoulder as well, the time for recovery had to be extended. If things had worked out with Leliana and the Orlesian's response to her flirtations were positive, Alex would not have minded being on bed leave-only if the redhead was at her side of course.
"Don't be such a baby," the much older woman scolded, "you're lucky that whatever they injected you with during your Joining accelerates the healing process or else you too would've been on a plane with the refugees to Kirkwall." Grunting Alex let out an annoyed sigh as Wynne began to put different ointments on her wound.
"Your poor attitude wouldn't have anything to do with that Leliana girl would it?" Wynne asked off handily startling the Warden as she wrapped the stitches on her bicep with gauze to keep the soldier from picking at it again. "Don't act surprised Captain I've known you long enough to know you play the wounded card to get attention, but this time you're sulking like a kicked puppy and have that scowl of yours plastered on your face for the past several hours. And you haven't even asked about your team, if there were any more Darkspawn or if Alistair is handling the situation alright. This isn't the Cousland I've been working with for years. Snap out of it."
Alex just laid there her expression vacant as she stroked Jerry's head. The mabari whined and nuzzled his master's side as if telling her to tell Wynne the reason for her sourness. With another deep sigh Alex finally spoke, her voice low and tired.
"I really fucked things up with her Wynne. I don't see her in ten years and I treat her like all the others- like she's a quick lay. But she's not! Every day since even before we started dating in high school she's been in my thoughts. The only way I made it through Warden training was her, what I was going to be fighting for. And I get a chance to make things right and what do I do? I fucking imply that all I want is a night of fun but I want so much more than that. And now…ugh!" with a groan of frustration she slapped her hand to her forehead repeating 'stupid, stupid, stupid!' as she continued hitting her forehead with the palm of her left hand. Feeling rather sympathetic for the womanizer, Wynne reached out to stop Alex from continuing the assault on her forehead. "I will talk to her if you want me to, and explain to her perhaps why you were a complete ass and convince the dear to talk to you about the serious things the two of you need to discus. Would you like that?" Alex merely nodded earning a pat on the cheek from Wynne.
"Good girl. And now that you knocked some sense into yourself, it'll do you good to talk to Alistair and discuss tactics until tomorrow," Alex only grunted letting the healer know that the plan was good. "Very well I'll send him in." With that Wynne rose and left sending the other Warden in to see his friend.
Wynne found Leliana sitting on a stool surrounded by young children as it appeared to look like she was in the middle of a story. Smiling the old nurse pulled a stool up and sat near the group waiting for Leliana to finish. When she finally did and gently told the children no more stories for the day she approached the Warden Nurse with a gentle smile on her face.
"Hello Wynne, is everything alright with Al-Captain Cousland?" she inquired trying to not show too much concern for the Warden whom she had left hours earlier.
"Physically; yes she'll recover fine just needs a day of rest. Emotionally…she's a little distressed. I've known Alex for a long time. But never have I seen her so bent out of shape when a woman dismisses her. She's never told me about how her relationship with you ended, but for many months she was close to depression and talked about 'the most beautiful Orlesian she has ever seen" all the time. And honestly I only think she acted the way she did today because she was scared about messing up if she chose to approach the situation emotionally. Alex is only a womanizing flirting idiot because she's terrified of becoming too attached. And before you ask how I know this, she's told me on several occasions throughout the years. She doesn't know how to deal with her emotions, for a soldier it's easy to point and shoot. But talking to someone you care about is always difficult, especially if you have been away from each other for some time. Give her another chance."
Leliana stood there clearly taking Wynne's words in to account, trying hard to not blush at the fact that Alex had bragged about her being gorgeous. Chewing her lip for a few more moments she finally raised her eyes staring into Wynne's pale blue ones. "Alright," she sighed, "but if she pulls any sexual leers at me, I'm gone. And don't even bother coming to look for me to talk to her again. Okay?" Wynne nodded before turning on her heels to walk back to the makeshift infirmary with Leliana in tow.
"No Alistair! You don't get it!" Alex whined as she tried to explain what exactly happened between her and the woman she still had some feelings. "I fucked up badly. Everything was going fine and then my big loud mouth just had to say some stupid cheesy, lame, pick-up line I've used probably three times."
Grabbing another pillow she covered her face and yelled. Alistair smirked at his friend's rare display of emotion towards a woman, stroking the rough stubble on his chin he tried to come up with encouraging words to help the ever so smooth Warden who could just about get anyone she wanted if she truly set her mind to it. But Maker, it was futile, he wasn't one to go to for emotional stuff, but Alex was his best friend, the least he could do was try to help out no matter how lame he sounded.
"Well…" he trailed not knowing what to say or do. Twenty minutes ago everything was fine when they discussed the scouts Alex and her team took out. There were only fifteen and no more sightings within the past several hours, but planes were being filled with refugees as they were being relocated to Kirkwall in the Free Marches since Denerim and Redcliffe were quickly becoming over crowded as the news of the strange creatures making a return to Ferelden. "Next time talk about her? And remain serious?" he finally got out "…I guess?" he added weakly. Alex removed the pillow from her face snorting in response.
"No shit Sherlock, not like she wants to talk to me or anything," she muttered a scowl starting to set on her face.
"She does," came a third voice. Startled, both Wardens turned to find Leliana standing there a soft smile on her face with Wynne a few feet back.
"Leliana!" Alistair let out a little too quickly, "it's so nice to see you again. You look great! And ah, well I need to go do…um Grey Warden business…somewhere else that isn't here," he stumbled out giving Leliana a quick kiss to the cheek before leaving.
"Nice to see you too!" she called out after his retreating figure giggling before turning her attention back to the other Warden. "Hey" she offered to the injured Warden sitting where Alistair was moments before.
Alex nodded slightly before answering, "Hey yourself," there was no charismatic smile or witty remark, just a blank hurt expression.
Several long awkward minuets passed before the Captain spoke again. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have made those comments at you. You're more than just some random girl that wants to spend a night with someone from the Grey," pausing she reached out taking Leliana's hand into her own. The redhead's gaze moved from the interesting stain on the wall to their joined hands and finally to the piercing eyes of Alex Cousland. She felt her heart skip a beat as she got lost in the cool blue orbs. "Tell me Leli, how have you been hmm? It's been too long. And I say this from the bottom of my heart not because I want anything. But you truly do look beautiful, even more so than when we were teenagers," small smiles graced both of their lips once Alex finished.
She remained quiet and Alex began to gently rub her thumb over the smooth skin of the other woman's hand, patiently waiting for an answer.
"It was hard for me when you left, when we…when we ended things you could say," her voice was soft and she turned her attention back towards their hands. Another deep sigh and she continued:
"I never went to college once I graduated, instead I went back to Orlais in hopes of getting a singing career, luckily I found a job singing in a bar. It really was fun; I met so many people and did crazy things. But the hole in my heart from losing you remained. Months passed and still no news from you or anyone about you. After about a year I lost hope. But that's when I met her, Marjolaine. She was in a band called The Bards and needed a backup singer. After about a month of hanging out and getting to know everyone, the music style and whatnot I joined. But that's when I learned I would get more than I bargained for. Six months later I learned they were part of the mob; they were hit men and extortionists. I…I also began a relationship with Marjolaine," a deep red spread across her face as she kept her eyes fixed on their hands. Alex quirked an eyebrow and gave the hand in her grasp light squeeze encouraging Leliana to continue.
"I felt obligated and was kind of forced to join them, to be a part of the family that is. They began training me soon enough. Knives, guns, hand-to-hand, coercion, poisons even. And in no time I was carrying out my own hits. And I was good at it. I enjoyed my new life, drinking, drugs, music, it was intense but addicting. However, that hole was still there, smaller but not filled. Once five years passed, I gave up all hope of seeing you again. I concluded you were killed." Tears began to fall down her face as she whispered the last sentence. Alex scooted as far over as she could on the cot before slightly tugging Leliana's hand motioning for her to lie next to herself. Much to Alex's relief she did. Sliding next to the soldier, Leliana tucked her head into the crook of the Warden's neck feeling the strong arms wrap around her, protecting her from the sins of the past.
Taking a deep sigh she continued:
"Three years ago I got to meet the God Father, in a sense I was being promoted but little did I know that I was also about to be on the run for my life. At some point, Marjolaine was captured by the Orlesian secret service, but instead of owning up to her crimes she struck a deal with them. Wear wires; give them intel from on the inside. I do not know why or her motives, but she placed the wires in my possession and at that time I had documents containing state secrets which were to be planted on a target. Our mission was a failure, and my partner for that particular mission discovered the wires and tracking device Marjolaine had planted on me. He called the others, and I had an immediate hit on myself. Thankfully the secret service showed up and arrested him before he could kill me. But they found the documents in my bag as they searched the area…they didn't arrest me ahead of time since I had the wires, as far as I was concerned, they thought I was on their side, the mole of the mob. Luckily I took off before they discovered the papers. Now I'm wanted by the Orlesian mob and the Secret Service, I needed to flee Orlais as fast as I could. But I couldn't take public transportation. I walked and took as many cabs as I could to and snuck across the Ferelden border. I chose Lothering because it's a quiet tourist town, not much happens. But Alex, if either of them finds me…I'll be killed. If the Mafia finds me, on the spot. And if it's the service, I don't know I don't want to find out, I'm pretty sure I'm on their top ten most wanted list. I'm terrified Alex."
By the time she finished her voice was at a whisper and tears ran freely down her face and onto Alex's beige crew cut shirt. Tightening her grip on the younger woman Alex nuzzled the soft red hair inhaling deeply the scent of strawberries overwhelming her senses. Placing a soft kiss on Leliana's brow the war hero finally spoke.
"I'm sorry I never wrote or called. I should've but if we kept our relationship alive and I went M.I.A. or worse was killed. I couldn't even think about the pain you would've been in, so selfishly I let you think I was dead. But believe me when I say this Leli, if I could, I would give up all my medals, awards and my rank to go back in time and talk to you. This all could've been avoided. As for those hunting you, I can place you under Warden Protection. Meaning that you'll pretty much be untouchable, and if they do try to pull anything, I will kill them myself." Leliana's crying stopped but she was still gasping as Alex continued to mutter sweet nothings to her and place gentle kisses everywhere on her face but those perfect heart-shaped lips. Once her breathing evened out Alex glanced down to find that Leliana had fallen asleep, a peaceful expression on her face. Groping around for a blanket without disturbing Leliana was rather difficult. But once it was over the two of them, Alex closed her eyes and joined the woman in her arms in slumber.
A/N Wow…finally an update eh? I could give a bunch of reasons but that doesn't matter. At first I wasn't going to continue this since I didn't get much feedback, but so many people have been favoriting and adding it to their watch that I knew I just had to continue.
Titles for chapters are those of actual songs, which I also do not own, but I feel like they will work out well with the chapter.
Special thanks to RatedRSuperStar87 for the idea about Leliana being a part of the mob family! And please leave a review! :D