The house field guide
Denizens
Scientific name: Stupidous allopoduss denizenous what the heckus
Animal type?
Diet: Granola bars, biscuits and tea.
Territory: A house built out of straw, A house built out of wood, A house built out of bricks, Two barren landscapes, A big freaking garden, And a big sea.
Denizens look a lot like us except there a lot taller and they suck at fashion (I mean bowler hats come on). Denizens are really hard to kill. So if one goes all superior on you just squash his bowler hat instead of firing rounds . Denizens have many uses like filling ink bottles, writing stuff on parchment, digging pits ("That's becoming a favorite" says Grim Tuesday the George Bush of the house) and serving in army's. Denizens also don't have to eat but they do it any way for "fashion". They should be giving all those biscuits to the poor. Also denizens like killing nithlings. The glorious army of the architect will just open the gate letting a whole lot of nithlings sweep in, so they can shoot them. Luckily some people are working on a nithling conservation area so we can protect are mutant creatures.
The will (Dame Primus)
Scientific name: Damius Primius name sounds sort of Star Trekish quite disturbingish.
Animal type: The alphabet
Diet: We have theories
If you get a glimpse of Dame Primus it will remind you of a certain human in the secondary realms. She (?) is made out of tiny little letters that swirl about, like alphabet cereal. You should avoid this creature at all costs since not a lot is known about her (?).
Q & A
Q: This field guide sucks
A: You make a better one
Q: I could make a better one
A: That's not a question
Q: Can I have a cookie?
A: I don't have a cookie
Q: What is a nithling?
A: Check the field guide
Q: It's not in the field guide
A: That's not a question
Q: Why isn't nithling in the field guide?
A: It was then we replaced it with dog
Q: There isn't a dog in the field guide
A: That's not a question