A/N: I've only seen seasons 5 – 10 in fragments and pieces, so I'm not as familiar with the later characters as with the original 8. If my Val, Ray, Claire, etc. is weak, please just let me know! Also, this story sort of picked up at the beginning of "Christmas Comes This Time Each Year" and then spun off into their own little reality, or fiction-ality, so some of the stuff from that episode will be mentioned in passing, but it may be out of chronological order and some stuff may be completely left out because either I forgot about it or I didn't like it to begin with.

A/N 2: From here on out, this story will deal with some medical issues that I am only minimally familiar with. I have done a little research, but you should not read this story as medically accurate. Because it's probably not.

A/N 3: Edited to change Celeste Martin to Felice Martin... thanks for catching that Nikkycoly! I'm also a big Veronica Mars fan, and I guess I confused my rich bitch mothers :D

Part Two

Valerie Malone let out a little sigh as she took a sip of her Pina Colada.

"Perfect, right?" Ginger, Val's best friend from Buffalo, was smiling at her from the next lounge chair. Ginger was a real wild child; she actually made Valerie look tame in comparison. In fact, Ginger was probably the reason Val was, well, the way she was. Back when Brenda had been Val's best friend, they'd broken rules, sure, but they'd never quite been troublemakers, exactly.

I'm sure that's not how Jim remembers it, Val thought to herself, with a smirk. If Jim Walsh only knew just how easy he and Cindy had had it.

But thinking of Brenda led to thinking about things Valerie did not want to think about. She hadn't escaped the cold Buffalo winters for the warm, sunny beach just to be caught up in the same memories that would have made Buffalo unbearable. So Val turned to Ginger with on of her trademark devilish smirks – the smirk Ginger had taught her.

"Better than Buffalo," Val conceded eventually. Then, seeing a handsome, shirtless man walking towards them, she added "and looking up."

"Hi," the man said, smiling down at them. "I'm Stuart Carson. Who might you two lovely ladies be?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was the worst Christmas Eve Brandon could remember, when only days ago it had looked like this might be the best Christmas yet. Then he'd been looking forward to a quiet Christmas alone with Kelly. Now, his parents, sister, friends and all of his friends' parents and siblings were going to be crowding the house, and he'd be lucky to get a minute alone with Kelly, let alone a whole day. Not that he particularly wanted to spend time alone with Kelly now, not when she seemed so put out by Brenda's presence in California, which would only make sense if Kelly still felt something for Dylan.

It had been bad enough watching the Kelly-Brenda-Dylan Bermuda Triangle (as Dylan had once so aptly put it) from the sidelines. Brandon refused to be sucked into it.

What was it about Dylan that made the females in this town go so crazy anyway? He was sullen, sulky, withdrawn and secretive, not exactly the qualities Brandon would have thought a girl like Kelly would have found attractive. Val and Brenda's interest in him, Brandon could understand. Val would just want to have fun, no strings, no commitments, and Dylan's untouchable attitude would be perfect for that. And Brenda would be drawn to Dylan's sadness and to the drama of a relationship with someone like him. She'd want to make him forget his pain and just be happy for awhile – and she had done exactly that, when they'd been together. With Brenda, Dylan had smiled and laughed and been a part of the gang. He'd even gone to a costume party.

But Kelly's interest in Dylan had never made any sense to Brandon. Kelly had a difficult enough life without adding Dylan's problems to the mix. She'd never seemed drawn to other people's sadness. Girls like Kelly Taylor dated guys like Steve Sanders, guys like Brandon Walsh. Guys who would do anything in their power to make her happy, guys who would worship the ground she walked on. Dylan would never be that guy.

So why did Kelly always seem so possessive over him?

And, as if all of his doubts and worries weren't enough to ruin Christmas, Brenda still wasn't explaining why she'd come back, or what she intended to do with herself now that she had returned, and the tension in the Walsh house was deeply uncomfortable. Every conversation seemed to dance around the subject of Brenda's return, and every word seemed to upset someone in the room even more.

"Earth to Brandon."

"What?" Brandon blinked and saw his sister waving a hand in front of his face. "Sorry, Bren, were you saying something?"

"What time is everyone getting here?"

It would have been the perfect opportunity for her to make fun of him – to say something about him spacing out, at least – but Brenda went straight to the point, which bothered Brandon for some reason he couldn't quite figure out.

"Mom said dinner would be at four," Brandon answered, glancing at the clock. It was three thirty. "So I guess people will start getting here any time now."

As if on cue, the doorbell rang.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'll get it," Brenda called as the doorbell rang for what seemed like the thousandth time. It was ten minutes to four and they were still waiting on only a few of their guests. Andrea, Jesse and Hannah had arrived first – "we can't stay long," Andrea had announced apologetically, "we promised we'd celebrate with Jesse's family tonight." They were followed closely by Steve and Samantha Sanders – Rush was spending the holidays with "the flying monkey children" – then David and his new girlfriend Claire, then Kelly, Jackie, Mel and Erin. That left only Donna and the Martins, should they deign to attend a gathering that wasn't strictly high society.

Actually, Brenda was pretty sure her mother said something about having invited Dylan, but he seemed less likely to attend than Felice Martin.

As predicted, Brenda heard a high pitched squeal when she opened the door.

"BRENDA!" Donna cried, pulling her into a tight hug. "Brandon said you were back! Oh I'm so happy to see you!"

"Merry Christmas," Brenda smiled weakly, pulling away as soon as she could do so without overtly hurting Donna's feelings. "And Happy Birthday, I guess."

"Thanks," Donna stepped into the foyer, a smile still glued to her face. "You have to tell me everything about London. We haven't talked in ages!"

Biting back a sarcastic comment about whose fault that might be, Brenda forced another weak smile and promised they would gossip later, adding the requisite comment about wanting to know everything about Donna's new boyfriend, too.

"The adults are in the dining room," Brenda gestured towards the room where her parents, Jackie and Mel were gathered. "And I think Hannah and Erin are with them. Everyone else is in the living room. I'm going to go check on something in the kitchen."

"Ooh, well I'll come with you, and we can talk," Donna offered but Brenda shook her head quickly. Donna obviously hadn't picked up on the fact that 'checking on something in the kitchen' was an excuse to get away from everyone for a few minutes.

"That's okay, really," Brenda pointed towards the living room. "Go, enjoy the party. I promise we'll talk later."

"Okay, I guess," Donna shrugged. "Can you make my parents' excuses while you're passing your parents?"

Brenda promised she would and the old friends went their separate ways, Donna joining the party and Brenda sneaking through the kitchen and out the back door onto the lawn chair that had become her favorite resting place.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dylan was sitting on his sofa, debating whether or not to drag himself to the Walsh Christmas party, when a knock sounded at his door. Dylan sighed and got up to open the door.

"Look, I'm not a big fan of Christmas carols…" he started as he turned the knob, stopping suddenly when he saw who was on the other side. "Iris."

"I couldn't let my only son spend Christmas alone, could I?" Catching Dylan's look, she held up a hand. "Don't answer that."

Dylan smirked and stepped aside so she could come in. Iris cast a critical glance around the living room.

"Not that you can tell it's Christmas from this gloomy old place," she shook her head. "Well, get dressed. We've got plans."

Dylan looked down at himself and quirked an eyebrow at his mother. "I am dressed."

"You are not going to the Walsh's party looking like a vagabond," Iris scolded. "I raised you better than that," seeing his look again, she held up another hand. "Alright, I didn't, but it's never too late to start. Go change."

Smiling to himself a little, Dylan went into his bedroom to change.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"This is not what I had in mind when I said we should party," Steve shook his head to make his disappointment clear. "This is just sitting around in nicer clothes."

"And with presents," Donna chimed in cheerfully, but unfortunately, even Donna's cheeriness wasn't enough to light the gloom that had settled over the group. "C'mon guys, it's Christmas."

"Sorry Donna," Brandon shook his head. "Just not in the spirit, I guess."

Kelly and Andrea both made muffled sounds of agreement.

"Well then get in the spirit," Steve commanded, looking to Donna for help.

"If I can still celebrate, even though my Mom offered to buy Ray off, then you guys should be able to celebrate too," Donna nodded firmly. "Besides, if you ruin Christmas, you don't only ruin Christmas, you ruin my birthday too. You wouldn't want to do that to me, would you?"

"What do you mean your Mom tried to buy Ray off?" Andrea asked quietly, and Donna heaved a heavy sigh.

"I mean she tried to pay him to break up with me," Donna rolled her eyes. "Typical Felice Martin. Money can solve everything, right? Well Ray might be poor but at least he respects himself too much to let a few thousand dollars make him walk away from me. Look, I really don't want to talk about my Mom, okay?"

"Where is Ray?" Claire asked from her perch on the arm of David's chair.

"I figured it probably was best to come alone, you know?" Donna shrugged. "I didn't want to overwhelm Brenda with new people. Of course, that was when I thought she might actually be in the room."

"Where is Brenda?" Steve asked, concerned. "I've barely seen her all night."

"Probably out back," Brandon sighed, standing. "I'll go talk to her."

"No," Kelly stood up and placed a hand on Brandon's arm. "Let me try."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Brenda?"

The back yard seemed perfectly empty, but Kelly wasn't sure where else Brenda could have gone. Maybe she's in her bedroom?

"Brenda, are you back here?" Suddenly, Kelly saw a head of dark brown hair peaking over the top of one of the Walshes' lawn chairs. As she made her way over to the chair, she saw her friend lying apparently unconscious. Kelly broke into a run. "Oh my God! Brenda!"

Dropping to her knees beside the chair, Kelly frantically felt for a pulse, and was about to scream for help when Brenda turned her head to face her.

"I'm okay," Brenda forced out, although Kelly could barely hear her. "Water please."

"Don't you think you should go to the hospital?" Kelly didn't let go of Brenda's wrist, using her free hand to feel the brunette's forehead in a futile attempt to test her temperature. Kelly wasn't a doctor or even a med student like Andrea, but Brenda was clearly not healthy.

"No point," Brenda coughed on her words. "Water. And my purse."

"Be right back."

Kelly began to hurry back into the house when Brenda called her name. "Please don't tell my parents, Kel. I'll explain, just… don't tell them yet."

Back in the Walsh kitchen, Kelly poured a glass of water and looked around for Brenda's purse, cursing inwardly when she didn't see it. She'd have to ask Mrs. Walsh.

Kelly went into the dining room and pulled Cindy aside. "Brenda wanted me to get her purse," she began, and seeing Cindy's curious look, she quickly added "to show me some pictures from London…"

"That sounds fun," Cindy smiled. "Why don't you two join the group and we can all look at them?"

"Well, see," Kelly hedged desperately. "The thing is, Mrs. Walsh, Brenda and I haven't been very close in a long time," she said, using an old trick Kelly had learned from lying to her own mother – tell at least part of the truth so that its less obvious that you're lying. "I was kind of hoping this could be our chance to bond again, especially since I'm dating Brandon now. Is that okay?"

It was the perfect excuse, because it ensured that no one would interrupt them. It was a well known fact that Brenda and Kelly had a lot to work through.

"I understand completely," Cindy's smile widened. "I put Brenda's purse on her bed this afternoon while I was tidying up. It should still be there."

"Thanks."

Kelly moved so quickly it was less than a minute later that she was back outside, racing back to Brenda's side.

"Here," she thrust the glass of water at Brenda as her friend reached for the purse. After rooting around for a second, Brenda pulled out a pill bottle, and poured a few into her hand. "Brenda, what's going on?"

Brenda threw the pills back and took a sip of water. "Look, Kel, can this be just between us?"

"As long as you tell me what's going on," Kelly promised. Brenda sighed.

"Really between us. You can't even tell Brandon."

"Cross my heart," Kelly swore, hoping she could keep that promise. "What's going on?"

"A few months ago, I started getting these really bad headaches," Brenda began, hesitating over every word. "When I finally went to the doctor, it took them almost a month to figure out what was going on."

"And?"

"And I have cancer."

A gasp escaped Kelly's throat before she could contain it. Whatever she'd been expecting Brenda to say, that was decidedly not it. Hadn't they been through this before, Sophomore year? Only, Brenda's lump hadn't been cancer at all then.

"It's pretty bad," Brenda continued, sounding to Kelly as if she couldn't stop herself from talking now that she'd started. "The doctor in England thought it probably started in my breast – because of the family history. They haven't done any biopsies yet or anything, so they can't be sure. But now it's in my brain and my blood stream too, and I guess it has been for awhile. Maybe even all of last year. The uh, the doctor thought that might explain some of my impulsive behavior."

"So what now?"

"Well my parents insurance doesn't really cover international care, so I couldn't afford to stay in England any more," Brenda shrugged. "I have an appointment with my regular doctor next week, and I'll probably go into surgery to do the biopsies fairly quickly after that." There was a pause, and then Brenda added "I haven't told my parents any of this…"

"Hey," Kelly touched her arm gently, immediately picking up on the warning and the worry in Brenda's last sentence. "I promised you I'd keep it a secret, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Brenda nodded slowly. "Thanks."

"I just can't believe you've been going through this alone," Kelly said, finding herself once again in awe of Brenda's strength, just as she had been last June, when Brenda had left for a whole new continent where she knew no one, and bringing no one with her. Just as she had been the first time Brenda had found the tumor in her breast, or when she was held up at the Peach Pit, or when she stood up to her father about Dylan. The truth was, Brenda had always been the strongest person Kelly knew. "I think I'd be a wreck."

"I have been," Brenda ran a hand through her hair and looked away down the driveway. "And I'm going to tell them. I just don't want to ruin the holidays, you know?"

"Oh Brenda."

As Kelly pulled Brenda into a hug, both women realized that there had been very little physical contact between them in a very long time, and both women deeply regretted that fact.

~*~*~*~*~*~