He remembered being 12 years old

"Ah, Izaya I heard what happened."

Izaya didn't look up from his rune practice as Shinra approached.

"You and everybody else."

Shinra sat next to him, a grim look on his face.

"My dad says you're welcome to stay with us."

Izaya sighed, finally turning to see the hopeful look in Shinra's eyes.

"That sounds ominous, but I suppose I have no choice."

Shinra beamed and drew Izaya into a tight hug.

"Nope! But choice is overrated anyway."

Izaya was 12 when his parents and siblings were killed by Sin. Shinra's father had taken him in so he wouldn't be doomed to an overcrowded orphanage.

He remembered being 13 and Shinra's father staring down at his small body with a keen eye.

"I'd like to do some human testing."

He remembered being forced into different experiments to keep himself off the streets and Shinra patching him up after each one, guilty looks being shot his way as he wrapped the worst of the wounds and healed the smallest ones with magic. Izaya never could understand Shinra's remorse, it wasn't Shinra's fault and wasn't it only natural to have to earn his keep? But he did enjoy these times with Shinra, even if his body often ached with exhaustion.

He remembered being 15, numerous scars over his body and a fresh cut up half his arm and Shinra absently stitching the wound as he rambled about the girl he'd met that day. He remembered the odd feeling in his chest as his friend waxed poetic about some stranger.

He remembered being 16 and having already realized he was in love with his best friend. He could remember the jealousy and the sadness clear as day. Celty who was everything Izaya couldn't be. Cheerful, beautiful, undamaged. She was perfect even though she was mute. Try as he might Izaya couldn't bring himself to hate her and that just made him even more upset.

He remembered distancing himself from Shinra to see how Shinra would react, he started staying out later and later. He would patch his own wounds after the experiments and stopped seeking Shinra out for companionship. He remembered the crushing loneliness that followed and the way Shinra didn't even seem to notice except to comment that.

"I'm happy you've taken to being more independent! I was even telling Celty how much you've grown!"

He remembered leaving the house that night in secret, leaving only a letter of apology for Shingen. He didn't return.

And even still he could remember being 18 and bleeding out on a street corner when who should find him but Shingen. He was taken back to a familiar house of too many memories and had been told that Shinra was dead. He and Celty had gone to travel and Sin had chosen to attack at the worst possible time.

He remembered the burn of tears as he was laid out on a table he'd known for years as Shingen put him back together instead of tearing him apart. Like father like son he supposed.

He stayed in the house just long enough to heal, uncomfortable with being stuck around so many memories and the man who had saved and hurt him as a child. Once again, he left in the middle of the night.

And now he was 19, hearing about the recent destruction of Killika and the new summoner who'd come to Luca. He felt the burn of hatred in his gut. Sin. The monster who'd taken everything from him. He parents, his sisters… his first friend and first love. Shinra had always said that he'd never need his magic

"I don't see why you bother with that! You're going to stay with me and live a long boring life!"

But Izaya was glad he'd never listened. He'd never fought a fiend before but watching the fiend burn out in front of him and the shocked face of the summoner and his guardian he felt the darkness in his heart lighten a little. He'd definitely get his revenge.

If he could just kill sin the wounds on his heart could start healing. They just had too.