DARK LORDS ON TRIWIZARD TOURNAMENT
Chapter 3: Dark Lords Gone Emo
"So then they blew up the Death Star," said Palpatine. "It's going to cost a fortune."
"My One Ring is gone!" moaned Sauron.
"And all of my Death Eaters are dead!" said Voldemort.
"Defeated by furries," said Palpatine. He was a furry assassin before becoming a Sith Lord.
All of them drank in a bar so they could sleep. They pierced their tongues and their ears. They self-mutilated. They even competed in the Trial of the Long Knives, in which Sauron won because the other two fainted from blood loss.
"Let's commit suicide," said Palpatine.
"I don't want to," said Voldemort. He was still afraid of death. "How about we enter the Triwizard Tournament? I could beat it and it might help me get back to power."
"People die in this tournament," said Sauron. "I'm in."
"Me too," said Palpatine.
Palpatine, Sauron, and Voldemort walked over to Barty Crouch.
"DARK LORDS!" said Crouch, raising his hands.
"I'd like to enter the Triwizard Tournament," said Voldemort. "So would they."
"All right," said Crouch. "I'll set up the tournament."