Disclaimer: No ownies.
The Letter, Part Three
Dear "Celia,"
I am not moved.
My dear, I'm afraid that you are a soppy fool if you think your empty words could possibly win me back. I am a King and above such things. If I could be influenced in such a way, I would have lost my kingdom long ago.
You have thirteen hours in which to deliver or my lawyer shall hound you... forever.
-One-hundred and three crystals of varying size.
-Two pairs of moleskin gloves.
-One elf-spun necklace made of Dwarf gold.
-My mother's priceless pair of heirloom earrings with matching bracelet.
-One pair of green leggings.
-Ten poetically written love notes.
-Five dozen enchanted roses.
If the rest of my property is not returned in a timely matter, you shall force my hand.
And since we are on the topic of these so-called "moments" that we have shared...
Your cooking will never improve, your family's manners are atrocious, and yes, the time you spilled grape juice on my favorite shirt stained it beyond repair. You are lucky that I do not see fit to charge you in replacing it, seeing that it was constructed of cloudstuff. Your laugh is pinched and nasal, causing me many a headache and you have terrible taste in movies. No, purple eyeshadow does not become you, and Yes, that dress did make you look fat.
And studying up on fairytales will do no good if you can't even read. This was supposed to have been settled upon receiving my first letter, but apparently you are too ignorant to recognize that.
You cannot even hold a burned out candle to the beauty and grace that is my Natasha. You shall simply have to get over it.
Remember – thirteen hours or your things shall be thrown in the bog.
Scornfully yours,
Jareth, King of the Goblins