Cravings
From TOW Rachel Quits
Ross: Monica, I'm cutting you off.
Monica: No. No, just, just, just a couple more boxes. It-it-it's no big deal, all right, I'm-I'm cool. You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes!
Ross: Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
Monica: (covers her neck) Oh God! (runs to the bathroom)
Chandler knows Monica has some weird food issues. He figures that she feeds everyone else because she isn't feeding herself: that in some weird unspoken Monica way she decided food was love, and if she couldn't have it anymore, she'd give it to everyone around her.
Most of the time, she's got it all under control. But now it's the holidays, and she's got no boyfriend, and she's talking to her mother regularly and well…he's a little ticked at Ross for triggering the food issues.
On the other hand, he's kind of fascinated by Monica in the throes of a food addiction. The cleaning thing, he gets, and he loves (well, he loves because it's so her), but the cookies… she needs them, and she gets flushed when she eats them, and well…
It's hot. He can imagine her flushed with need for other things, and he justl…
The upshot is that now he's having dreams about feeding Monica mint treasures. She's got that damn Princess Leia gold bikini on (which is weird, because he's never really had a Princess Leia thing, he's got more of a Catwoman thing) , and she dances for a cookie. And when he feed it to her (he knows the slave feeds the master, but it's his fantasy, so it can go anyway he wants it to), he brushes it against her skin to get that smear of cookie on her neck so he gets to lick it off.
Damn Ross.
He'd damn the Brown Birds, too, but he feels a little guilty about condemning little girls to hell.
The only upside is that his mother has never showed up in a Monica dream. (And it's a sign, really, of how messed up he is that he isn't even sure anymore if this is an upside, because Monica is showing a disturbing tendency to show up in ALL his dreams, and she has the exact opposite effect on his libido as his mother.)