Part Three: Harry
"Hi…H-Harry. It's um…it's Louis."
It's Louis.
What do I say?
"Harry?" Louis' voice sounds concerned, "are you alright?"
Still I have no words.
Why can't I say anything? Damn it!
"Oh, goodness, have I got the wrong number? I'm so sorry, I was trying to call Ha-"
"Harry?" I blurt. Instantly I regret cutting him off.
From my end of the line, I hear Louis gasp. Not a shocked gasp though, more so a small, quick gasp. It was like gasping from good news. An "oh, yes!" gasp, if you will.
"Harry!" He exclaims, "Yeah! That's who I was trying to call-wait."
He goes silent for a moment, clearly deep in sarcastic contemplation. When Louis doesn't continue talking right away, I begin to wonder if he isn't being sarcastic at all, and that he actually is just naturally this bubbly. I don't mind it though, I actually think it's kind of cute.
"Is this Harry?" he asks, serious.
Guess he wasn't being sarcastic.
I laugh under my breath. "It sure is."
Despite the lack of face, I can hear Louis' grin all the way over here.
"Oh, good! I hoped it was you! You sound so different on the phone, did you know? Your voice is a lot deeper. Not bad deep though, don't worry you don't sound like a walrus or anything you just-it's sort of nice."
He collects his words for a moment, sighing once or twice before carrying on.
"Do you know what I mean? Like, there are some people who get on the phone and sound like a completely different person, but not you, Harry, you sound so…mature! Yes, that's a good word for it. You are quite mature though, look at us, me here, babbling away and you're ju-"
For the second time in about five minutes, he goes silent.
"Is everything alright?" I ask. I'm a twinge concerned. He sounded a bit like he almost dropped the phone. "Lou?"
He giggles on the other end of line, mumbling "Lou" under his breath, along with a few other things I couldn't quite make out.
"Oh!" He startled himself, "I'm so sorry Harry, you haven't been able to get a word in edgewise. I'm sorry, I've got a bit of a problem with babbling when I get worked up but I can't help it! I'm just; nervous I guess. Dad's always going off at me about it and how it's irritating and all, I've been working on it though, really Harry I have. But it took me almost a half hour just to build up the guts to call in the first place. But now I'm glad I did!"
Now it was my turn to smile big enough for him to hear. He was quite literally glowing, but it had this but of adorable to it that you could not overlook.
"We should have these conversations more often, Harry. I like them" Louis beamed, still giggling a bit. "You're so much fun to talk to. You know, we've been talking almost ten minutes and you haven't hung up yet. I think this might be a new record! I'll have to write this one down..." he trailed off.
It was so refreshing, listening to someone as unscathed as Louis talk. He spoke as though this rather pointless conversation we were having was the only thing in the world that mattered; like if you could define joy with conversation, he would define it with this one. He came across as rather naïve to life, but I suppose his naivety is what makes him the way he is. It suited him, the naivety, and though it was obvious he was inexperienced as far as life goes, I didn't mind one bit. Speaking to him made me feel happier, and after being on the phone for about an hour, I began to share his perspective. Perhaps this moment really was all that mattered.
Everything had been so stressful lately, I found that just listening to him banter about-well, bantering, was relaxing me. I didn't have to worry about anything with him. It was both comforting and but somehow worrisome at the same time. On one hand, I was slowly becoming more interested in him, which I liked. A lot; but on the other hand, what if something was to happen to him? What if he doesn't like me? Earlier he had talked about people hanging up on him in the middle of a conversation. He had told me about being hit with somebody's car-a Liam Payne- after coming out last year. Louis had been through so many difficult things in his life thus far, and I didn't want to add to them. Quite frankly, I was surprised he's not terribly bitter.
I was only a year younger than he was, and we'd be attending school together, as he had mentioned. He'd be a senior and I a junior. It was my hope that things would go well with Louis, and that it would give me more support in my coming out.
When I told Louis that I hadn't come out yet, he didn't seem to mind.
"I wouldn't worry too much about that Harry." He had said, "When you realize that it's time, you'll want to tell everyone. It's the greatest feeling in the world, when you can finally tell people who you really are."
When I don't say anything, he continues on.
"But, until you're ready, you have to try and find one good thing about all the bad things. Like, for example, I spilt some juice earlier; but when I bent over to wipe it up, I realized that I was finally flexible enough to get my palms flat on the floor."
He sounded so satisfied with himself. I chuckle, "That was the highlight of your day? Touching the ground?"
I can sense the sudden nervousness from Louis' end. "Well, not exactly."
"Do I have to guess what it was?"
He starts giggling again. "It was you, silly."
There are no words to describe how I felt. I can't even speak for my excitement. I almost squeal, but no sounds come out. Instead I'm left sitting on my bed, flapping my hands uncontrollably.
"Harry?"
"I was hoping you would say that." I beam. "You were the highlight of mine too."
Louis actually squeals. He does more than that. He makes just about every sound I would have made, only all in sequence, and with about ten times the volume. This only adds to my own amusement, and the hand flaps get worse.
"I'm so glad!" he nearly shouts. "Harry I'm so glad!"
"Lou-"
"Oh, Harry! I was praying you'd say that too!" He sighs, "See, I wanted to tell you when I met you this afternoon, but I couldn't do it. I was so scared! You don't understand how happy you've just made me."
"That's so good, Lou! I'm happy. I'm so happy."
Louis titters, and starts moving around. There is some shuffling on the phone, and I can tell he's settling into bed. He doesn't speak again until he's presumably laying down.
"Say, Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you working tomorrow? At the bakery?"
"I sure am, Ten to four." I explain. "Do you think you'd be able to come in?"
He makes the small gasping sound again. "I want to come and see you."
"I'd like to see you too."
"You start at ten?" he confirms.
"And I'm done at four."
"Well I'll see you at ten, then!"
The two of us just sort of sit in a pleasant silence for a few moments after that, just listening to the sound of the others breathing. Eventually,I roll over on my bed and realize the time.
3:34 am
"Lou?"
"Yeah?" he mumbles.
"It's late, you should go to sleep."
"Alright, Harry. You should probably go to sleep too."
"Goodnight, Lou."
"Goodnight, Harry."