CHAPTER 3

The next morning...

Clark comes downstairs and pours himself a cup of coffee, then sits down at the kitchen table. He takes a sip, but puts the mug down; still thinking about the dream he had the night before. He's so lost in thought that he doesn't notice his mother coming into the room.

"Good morning, Clark."

He looks up at the sound of his mother's voice. "Huh?"

She looks at him curiously. "I said 'good morning," she replies; sitting down next to him. "Are you okay? You seem a little distracted this morning," her hand reaching out to stroke his hair.

He gives himself a mental shake. "I didn't sleep too well last night," he admits. "I have a lot on my mind."

"By any chance are you thinking about Lana?" she asks him.

"It's not Lana," he replies. "It's someone else."

She raises her eyebrows. "You're interested in someone else?"

"That's the problem," a small frown on his face. "There is someone I've known for a while now and I guess I've finally realized how attracted I am towards them. In fact..." hesitating a moment, "I've had some dreams about them and don't know what to do about it."

"I see," a thoughtful look on her face. "Do you think this person feels the same?" she asks him.

He nods his head. "Last night, this person kissed me - right out of the blue. It really took me by surprise."

"Do you mind if I ask who this person is?" she asks him next. It must be Chloe - after all, he's known her for awhile now.

"I...umm..." stammering a little. "I'd like to tell you, but I need to figure things out for myself first. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course I don't mind, Clark. But when you are ready to talk about it, you know you can always come to your father and I."

"Thanks, Mom," smiling at her.

"That's what a mother is for," smiling back at him.

At the same time...

Lex is sitting at his desk looking at some papers when Lana comes in. He looks up at her. "Hi, Lana," smiling at her and laying down the papers.

She doesn't answer him; instead walking over to the couch and sitting down.

"What's wrong?" he asks; getting up from his chair and walking over to her; sitting down next to her.

She finally looks over at him. "It's Clark," a sad expression on her face.

"Clark," he repeats. "What about Clark?"

"Well," hesitating a moment. "He came over last night and made love to me, then suddenly took off right afterwards."

Lex is stunned at Lana's admission. "This happened last night?" his eyes widening with surprise.

She nods her head. "Yes," she admits.

"Do you have any idea why he just took off?" he asks her.

"No," shaking her head. "During the whole time we were making love, he couldn't look me in the eye. Then after he...well...you know, he stared at me as if I was a ghost or something. That's when he got dressed and rushed right out of my apartment."

"I'm sorry, Lana," he says. "I don't know what to say. I'm the last person anyone should come to for advice about the opposite sex. You know my track record with them."

"I know," a small smile on her face. "Maybe you just haven't met the right woman yet," she says.

That's the problem. There is no right woman. But there is the right man.

She looks curiously at him. "Lex? Are you okay?"

He breaks himself out of his reverie. "I'm fine," letting go of her hands and standing up.

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"I'm sure," smiling back at her. "I was thinking about what you just said and I think you're right. In fact, I think the right person has been in front of me the whole time and I didn't want to admit it to myself."

She backs away from him slowly. "I hope you're not saying that I'm..."

He interrupts her. "No, Lana, it's not you," taking her hands in his. "It's not that I don't think you're attractive because I do. But you're my friend, and I don't want to ruin that. I have very few close friends and don't want to lose the ones I do have - like you and Clark."

Her eyes cloud over at the mention of his name. "I need to talk to him and find out what happened," letting go of his hands and getting up from the couch. She gives him a small smile. "Thank you for listening."

"Any time," he replies; a smile on his face.

"Bye," she says as she walks out; closing the door behind her.

He waits until she's gone, then gets up and walks over to the table where he keeps his decanter of scotch. He pours himself a glass, then sits back down on the couch. He wants me all right, the hint of a smile on his face as he takes a sip.

Later that afternoon...

Clark is out in the field repairing one of the posts when his cell phone rings. He puts down the hammer and pulls it out, then takes a look at the caller id. I just can't talk to her right now, pressing the 'ignore' button and returning the phone to his pocket.

I know we need to talk about what happened last night, but I just don't know what to say to her. How can I tell her that I was imagining somebody else while we were making love? He picks up the hammer and begins to pound a nail into the post. He's so distracted that he hits his finger instead of the nail.

"Son of a b*tch!" swearing out loud and dropping the hammer.

"Clark?"

Clark looks up to see his father coming across the field. "Did I just hear you swear?" walking up to him.

Clark stares back at his father. "Am I not allowed to swear once in a while?" pursing his lips.

"I never said you couldn't," his father replies; picking up the hammer and placing it on top of the post. "It's just that I don't usually hear you swear," his eyebrow cocked.

"I swear more than you think. You're just not around to hear it," examining his finger.

Jonathan looks at Clark's finger. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'll be fine I guess," a frown on his face. "I suppose that I got so used to not having to worry about getting hurt that I sometimes forget that's no longer the case," shrugging his shoulders.

His father nods his head. "I wish I could say that I understand what you're going through, but I can't. I only had your powers for a very short time so..." his voice trailing off.

"I know," Clark replies. "I'm sorry I snapped at you. I have some things on my mind right now and I don't know what to do about them."

"Is there anything I can help you with?" Jonathan asks him.

Clark shakes his head. "I'm afraid not," he says. "I'm going to have to figure them out for myself."

"Well, you know you could always talk to your mother and I."

"I know," a small smile appearing on his face. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome," smiling back at his son. He starts to walk away, but turns back around. "I almost forgot the reason why I came out here," walking back up to Clark.

"What is it?" Clark asks him.

"Lana called," he says. "She said she tried to get you on your cell phone, but you didn't pick up. So she called the house. She wants you to call her."

Clark heaves a sigh. "Thanks," turning around and picking up the hammer once more.

"Is everything okay between you too?" his father suddenly asks.

Clark tenses up at Jonathan's question. "Things are complicated," he finally says; not turning around.

"Is that what you have on your mind?" he asks.

"Among other things," turning around to face Jonathan. "But I'll figure it out."

"I know you will," laying a hand on his sons shoulder. "I have every faith that you'll do the right thing," smiling at him.

"Thanks for always having faith in me," Clark replies; smiling back at him.

"There's no need to thank me," winking at him, then walking away.

Clark stands there for a moment; thinking about what his father said. I wish I COULD talk to Mom and Dad about it, but I know exactly how they would react. They would freak out if I told them I was having feelings for Lex. He sits down on the grass and sits back against the post; his forearms resting on his bent knees. Why does it have to be so hard? he wonders; closing his eyes. You can't help who you fall in love with. Then his eyes suddenly pop open as he has a realization.

I AM GAY.

To Be Continued...