Chapter 2
Kankuro: Drool Bag
AN: Before I begin, warning this Chapter contains an OC!
"Heh…stop pulling so hard…it kinda hurts." The brown haired sand-Shinobi mumbled, snuggling up to his long body pillow. "your…pulling harder than normal." he grinned, his eyes shut, and his face completely relaxed.
"Blagus!" the small white haired infant giggled, yanking as hard as he could on the brown haired male, slapping him with the other hand.
The slumbering males face scrunched up slightly, "What'd you say…sweet cheeks?" he mumbled, shifting closer towards his pillow, causing his bed to shift slightly.
This causing a snowball effect, making the baby lose his balance, grabbing hold of a chunk of the brown haired males skin, and grabbing tighter on his hair, pulling as the baby tired to keep from falling off the bed; which caused much pain for the male, causing him to quickly open his eyes, shooting up from his bed, "What the-" he was interrupted by the baby falling in front of him-when he shot up, the baby was thrown in the air, then fell in front of him-. "AHH! WHAT THE HELL?! GAARA! TEMARI! SOMEONE GET THE FUCK IN HERE NOW!" he shouted.
Of course, his shouting only startled the small child, causing his big violet eyes to water. The 5month old sniffled a few times, then burst into tears, throwing his arms in the air.
The puppeteer covered his ears, wincing at the, blood curdling, screams that was coming from the-less than 30lbs-baby. "Where the hells the off button?" he asked, obviously talking to no one. He looked around his room, for something to shut the infant up with, his dark eyes froze on a folded piece of paper with the words: 'Word For The Baka' written on it, and a small plug looking thing behind it.
Quickly grabbing the plug thing, he tossed it at that screaming child, and soon after-the plug hit the baby in the head-the baby picked it up, and stuck it in his mouth, muffling his pouts.
Letting out a sigh of relief, Kankuro laid back in his bed, picking up the paper an beginning to read:
' To my lazy ass-no-good-brother, Gaara and I have decided that its your turn to watch the baby. In case you woke up, causing the baby to cry-which I don't doubt-then nicely give him the binki that I put behind this note. Once you've done that, put a damn shirt on! You don't need to traumatize the poor kid! While your watching the baby, make sure to feed him. And Kankuro, try not to kill the baby, we've still gotta find his parents. Have Fun, Temari P.S. Paybacks a bitch.'
Gaara cringed after he finished reading his sisters lovely note. Crumpling up the paper, he threw it at his wall, then glared at the small baby whom had pulled the-so called-binki out of his mouth. The small white haired baby looked a Kankuro, blinking his violet eyes a few times. "Don't lo-" The puppeteer was cut off by the 'binki' hitting him in the head, and the baby rolling over, grabbing his tiny toes laughing. Kankuro's glare at the baby deepened, "I really hate you right now."
Later, after Kankuro got dressed in his normal clothing including his cat-like hat, he and the white haired monster-as Kankuro wanted to call it-were in the kitchen. Kankuro was looking for something to eat inside the fridge, pulling out some left over rice, and placing it on the counter. The puppet master was about to eat some rice, when he heard a pair tiny fist pounding on something. He turned his head, looking at the small baby, whom had a mouth full of Drool, staring up at him, "What? Don't tell me…your hungry?"
"Agmaha!" the baby cheered, pounding his fist on the high chair he was sitting in, more Drool dribbling out of his mouth.
"Well…what do you eat?" he asked, looking back into the fridge. "Rice? Ra…men-what the…" He saw a bottle, with a piece of paper labeled: 'Feed Him This Dumb Ass'. Mumbling a few colorful words under his breath as he pulled the bottle out of the fridge, "Eat!" He said, shoving the bottle in the white haired babies face, "Eat up Drool bag! We've got to get out of the house, so I can do some damn training, then go and bitch out my sister…" The 'Drool bag' happily took the bottle, and began drinking it.
While the 'Drool bag' was drinking, there was a knocking sound at the Subaku door. Kankuro let out an annoyed sigh, looked at the baby, and said, "Don't move. I Don't wanna have to hear you crying anymore." he then walked to the door, and opened it.
Standing at the door was a woman; around Kankuro's age, long black hair, pulled back into a ponytail, emerald eyes, wearing a pair of jeans and a black tank top, her sand headband tired around her waist. "Hey, are the rumors true?" she asked, a shocked look on her tan face, "I was getting some tea, when I heard that your sister popped out a kid"
Kankuro looked slightly disappointed, "you're here for the baby?" 'Damn Kids already getting more attention than I do. Now I really hate this kid even more.'
The puppeteers thoughts were cut off by a petite hand waving in front of his face, "Hey…you listening to me? I asked if it was true?" Kankuro nodded, "Then your sister popped out a kid?" Kankuro shook his head, "Then there isn't a baby here?" he shook his head, Causing the sand woman to raise her eyebrow, "You're a very confusing guy Kankuro."
"Shut up Awaii. If you'd stop asking so many damn questions, then you wouldn't be confused." Kankuro snapped, "Yes there's a baby here, but No its not Temari's." he said, answering her questions.
"Need any help?" she asked.
Kankuro blinked a few times, "Huh?"
Awaii rolled her emerald eyes, "Need.Any.Help?" She asked, asking him as clearly as possible.
"You don't know how to take care of babies…" he paused, raising an eyebrow, "Do you?"
"Well, no. But I'm sure just having you around is hell for…."
"Drool bag." Kankuro said, finishing her sentence.
The black haired female shook her head, "Hold on, did you just call it 'Drool bag'?" The puppeteer nodded, earning a smack from Awaii. "You cant call a baby 'Drool Bag' ya jerk!" She pushed past the doll boy, "Now I know you need my help."
Kankuro closed the front door, mumbling, "Sure, why not come in." He then walked into the kitchen, only to see the black haired woman was already holding the baby, whom was having a giggling fit. ' Damn Drool bag…I really hate you!'
The white haired baby began reaching towards Kankuro. Awaii looked over at the puppet master, "hmm…" she walked towards him, then pulled off his cat-like hat. "This what you want?" when the baby grabbed the black hat from her hands, jamming one of the ears into his mouth, slobbering all over it. "Heh, looks like he likes the ears."
Kankuro crossed his arms, "That was my favorite hat." He huffed, glaring at the 'Drool bag'.
"Oh shut it Kankuro. I'm sure you've got 20 more like it." She then smiled at the baby, "Isn't that right Shorty. I'm pretty sure if we go and raid his closet, we'll find nothing but cat hats and black suits." Awaii allowed a sly smile to appear on her face, "You wanna go look?" she asked, walking past Kankuro, towards his room.
Only to be grabbed by Kankuro, "Stay out of my room!" he ordered, holding onto her slim wrist.
She spun around, "I suggest you let go of my wrist, if you ever want kids." She warned, a serious look on her face. She opened her mouth to say something else, until she smelt a foul smell. Her face scrunched up, she pulled her wrist from Kankuro, then shoved the white haired Shorty into his face, "Here. I uh…forgot there's something I had to take care of…" She began walking towards the door.
Kankuro, now holding the baby, raised an eyebrow, "What do you have to do?"
"I've-uh…gotta wake Hissori. Yea, that's it." she said, opening the door.
"Its almost 1 in the afternoon." Kankuro pointed out, "Shouldn't she already be awake?"
Awaii shook her head, "Knowing her, she's still sleeping. See ya!" With that said, the sand Kunoichi was gone.
Kankuro glares at the smelly baby, whom was still gumming on the cat hat, "I really hate you!"
He then walked into the bathroom, removing the soiled dipper, then holding the bare baby over the toilet, just staring, "Well…are you gonna finish?"
The baby blinked, then tilted his head as though asking, ' What the hell are you doing to me?'
After holding the confused baby over the toilet, Kankuro's arms began getting tired, "Well how the hell-" As though getting smacked in the face with Temari's fan, he got a disgusted look on his face, "Your kidding…I'm so not wiping your dirty ass! Clean it yourself." he demanded, causing the baby to begin crying. "not again! Come on, is that all you do? Eat, shit, and cry?" 'Drool bag' began screaming louder. "Alright!"
Kankuro stood, grabbing a clean dipper and some wipes. Then he laid the sniffling baby on the counter. "I'm so NOT touching that shit!" after thinking for a minute, Kankuro came up with an idea, "Its fool proof!" he then attached a few strings of chakra each of the babies legs, then some on the dippers and wipes. Proud of his idea, he began cleaning the white haired baby, whom found the whole thing quiet interesting.
Finally finishing with cleaning the babies…mess, Kankuro decided to stay in the house. He didn't want to have this little Drool bag get anymore attention, while he'd be ignored. Glaring once more at the baby, he asked, "What do girls find so cute about you? You Drool worse than a dog, your shit smells worse than spoiled eggs, you cry over everything, and you cant even talk." he complained, listing off a few reasons not to like a baby.
"True, but…he's also funny, and chubby. Chicks dig chubby guys."
Kankuro jumped, turning around only to see Awaii standing in front of him. "What the-How the hell'd you get in here?" he asked, a confused look on his unpainted face, "I thought you had to wake Hissori up"
Awaii shrugged, and walked towards Kankuro, smiling at the baby, "I guess Red already woke Hissori up. Beside, I kinda felt bad about leaving you with…well his mess." She then poked the yawning baby on the nose, causing him to lazily smile, "Looks like you could use a nap."
"No Shit! This little Drool-Ita! What the hell?" Kankuro shouted, rubbing the back of his head.
"I wasn't talking about you Baka. Shorty's tired." She shook her head, then took the baby from Kankuro's hands, then began patting him on the back, causing the white haired infant to fall asleep.
Kankuro stared at the baby, that was snuggling up to Awaii's chest, ' I really hate you! Lucky bastard!'
-End of Chapter! Yes! I made Kanky a perv, but SO! And no he wasn't completely OOC. He kept saying he hated the baby, Oh and Kankuro named him 'Drool bag'! Well I've gotta start the next chapter, maybe if your lucky, I'll post two chapters. Or I'll be evil and make you wait! Guess you'll just have to wait and see.-