Nazi Zombies: Alternate

Side Stories: What the fuck?

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

If Laura agreed on one thing; it was that Tank Dempsey proved to be one of the most stupidest person to have ever lived. Yet at the same time he proved to be quite the genius when it comes to imagination.

Laura growled a few ticks appearing on her forehead, "Don't lie to me you idiot! How the hell do you do it?" She demanded hotly. It aggravated her that Dempsey seemed to pull off the "innocent look", and said look was being given. A tilted head with a highly confused look that said: "What are you talking about"

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Laura." Tank insisted, but he was inwardly laughing his ass off. "You might have to explain to me what you mean"

Growling with frustration Laura imagined herself beating Dempsey half to death. Something that Tank somehow saw, much to her shock. "How the hell did you know what I was thinking!"

Tank grinned, "Simple: I'm just that awesome!" He then gave her a nice guy pose. Which was a thumbs up, a wink, and a dazzling white light that shone from his teeth. That somehow blinded her.

"Ok, I just know that fucker is screwing with me." Laura mentally deadpanned. "And somehow, I know he is laughing at me..."

"Hey!" Tank whined, clearly offended about something. When Laura gave him a tired glare he continued, inwardly grinning because he knew what he was about to say next was going to drive her up the wall. "If I was going to screw you, it'd be in bed!"

When those words came out of his mouth; it took every ounce of willpower Tank had to stop himself from laughing his ass off. Laura's right eye twitched with a horrified facial expression; Tank was sure that if this was a cartoon then her jaw would be on the floor and her eyes would be shooting out of their sockets.

"I-I'm going to go now."

Tank said nothing else as he watched Laura who rather quickly tried to escape from the room. He smiled, "Oh Laura. Did anyone tell you that you've got a nice ass?"

"OH SHUT UP!" She screamed her face flush with embarrassment. As she made her way out of the room her eyes had a strange glint in them. "I don't know who's doing this; but that asshole is going to get his soon!" She growled...

The author carefully reread each paragraph for any mistakes that he might have missed when he was typing on his Laptop. Still this was his third "chapter" so to speak, and while it was popular on Deviantart it wasn't quite as popular on Fanfiction. Still he thought the whole thing was amusing to do. While he should be working on another title for the next story the author really couldn't be arsed. He was a guy after all, and he was half Irish. And combine the fact that he was lazy as hell...

Suddenly the author felt a chill run down his spine. As if something bad was going to happen.

"So you're the one whose doing this?" A very pissed off feminine voice growled out.

The author turned his head so fast that you thought he got a whiplash. And in front of him was no other than Laura Dempsey. And she was not happy, if the way she was holding a steel crowbar was of any definition. Blinking; the author stared at the blonde hair beauty then looked at the computer screen and back at the woman again.

"How did you-... But you shouldn't-... What!" He sputtered pointing at the Laptop with clear shock.

"You gave Dempsey an ability..." She stated; as if that would explain everything. When seeing the confused look on the author's face she explained. "You have Tank Dempsey an ability that seemed... How do you call it 'fucking Gary sueish'! The Sixth wall."

The author dumbly nodded. "And dumpaling; MY creator gave ME an ability that is similar to yours." She said with a triumphant smirk.

The author's face paled, he gave Dempsey the Sixth wall ability because he was pure awesome. But if dumpaling gave her an ability similar to his... Laura suddenly sported a bat-shit eating grin that threatened to split her face in two, and she rose the crowbar over her head before letting out a blood screeching scream.

What happened next was simply far too awesome to put it into words.