Rule 6. Slav is not allowed to watch scary movies.

"I do not understand! Why would you pick the banana? I do not even need to check any alternate universes to know that that is the worst option!"

"Slav, it's a horror movie, don't question it," Lance intoned.

"It is built on the stupidity of its main cast," Slav countered. "That is never a good choice of storytelling. I've checked."

A sigh rose up from the collected crew of the Castle of Lions. When the Castle had picked up some radio transmissions beamed out from Earth, that had been an idle curiosity. When they proved to be television transmissions of classic horror movies, just about all the Earthlings had been excited. Even Keith had cracked an eager smile. And then Allura and Coran had both expressed interest. A movie night was the only rational response, especially once Hunk figured out how to make some popcorn.

And for the first ten minutes of the movie, everything was great. Lance and Pidge were inching closer to Hunk and utterly failing to be subtle about it, Allura and Coran were fascinated - and then Slav wandered in, apparently taking a break from his work on the gravity generator.

That was when the viewing went down the tubes. At this point Lance was the only one who bothered to respond to Slav's running commentary.

"Maybe we could watch a different movie?" Allura suggested.

"At this point, it's probably for the best," Shiro agreed. "Pidge, is there anything in that playlist that isn't a slasher?"

"Oh, is that what they're called?" Slav cut in, voice drier than the many desert planets Voltron had visited. Combined. "I thought they were just horror movies."

"Contrary to popular belief, slashers aren't the only genre of horror movie," Keith said. "Just the most popular." At the surprised stares from Lance and Hunk, the paladin slowly sunk a little deeper into the couch. "I watched a lot of movies as a kid. It was easier than getting a babysitter."

Hunk promptly teared up at that tidbit. And before Keith could be subjected to a crushing bear hug, Pidge let out a congratulatory "Ah-ha!"

"How about The Shining?" she suggested.

Keith smirked, side-eyeing Lance. "An excellent choice."

"Aw, c'mon," Lance scoffed. "I can handle this!"

~o~

"I can't take this!" Lance wailed, flailing in his spot. "The suspense is killing me!"

"What's gonna happen what's gonna happen…" Pidge whimpered on repeat, clutching one of Hunk's arms.

"Well, at least Slav isn't saying anything," Shiro muttered under his breath.

~o~

"The hotel…" Allura breathed, eyes wide. "It's… alive! And-"

"And it wants to drive this poor family insane!" Coran picked up.

"Nice. Most people don't pick up on that," Keith said through a mouthful of popcorn.

"T-They'll be fine, right?" Allura shakily asked.

The smirk she got in response was not assuring.

~o~

"Heeeeeere's Johnny!"

Just about everyone jumped at that, even Hunk and Shiro. Keith just kept smiling.

~o~

Everyone stared at the man in the wolf costume and the butler. What had they been doing? What… What just happened? Allura and Coran looked to Keith for guidance.

He shrugged. "Don't look at me."

Desperate, they turned to Slav.

"There are many alternate universes where that scene makes logical sense, but they are very different."

The two Alteans turned back to the screen, still tense. Rather amazing after a rather deflating, confusing scene.

~o~

Finally, the credits began to roll, and everyone could relax.

"Man, I forgot how intense that was," Hunk said, before grabbing and pulling up Lance and Pidge. "Little too intense for these wimps, though."

"It's considered a masterpiece for a reason," Shiro agreed. "Coran, Allura, what did you think?"

"That was amazing," Allura breathed. "Tense and terrifying, but so expertly constructed!"

"I'll take your word for it, princess."

"Well, I didn't like it."

That comment of Slav's was met largely with incredulous stares. And none were more incredulous than Keith's.

"How could you not like it?!" he demanded. "You heard Allura! It's a carefully crafted sculpture of a movie devoted entirely to a slow terror!"

"Wow, Keith's even more of a movie nerd than I thought…"

"It is a film designed to hurt people," Slav firmly replied. "I should know, because the Galra were quite fond of showing me similar pieces. The only thing I can say in this video's favor is that it is more mild than most of those examples."

For a long moment, the only thing to come out of Keith's slack-jawed mouth was a faint choking sound, his hands twitching. Finally, he just threw up his hands and spat "Fucking Galra!"