Valentine's Day- Chapter 3 – In Pieces
Hello to everyone,
As requested here comes the next chapter with the time afterwards and the talk about Magnus past…
I'm really sorry that it took me so long, but I wanted to write it as good as I am capable of and because of the fact that my life and work got a bite rough lately, I couldn't write it in one row. So therefore it took some time :-(
Thank you so much for your lovely reviews. This will be your little present now, because they encourage me to keep on writing =) you're all awesome!
And also thanks a lot to the twenty followers. Everyone one of you is like a small review, too!
Hope you will like this chapter as well and now those who don't want to read lemon should listen up, because this chapter contains it as well. You are warned by now =^.^=
And don't be too harsh with me because it's my first real lemon scene (had a small one in the last chapter, but this one goes a bit further …). So I hope I don't suck that much at it ;-)
So please tell me what you think and if you wish an upcoming chapter. I really enjoyed writing this story so far and now I have a hard time to click the complete button, my mind clearly don't want to end it like this, not by now and definitely not with this end you are going to read….. So tell me what you want and what content it should have =)
Disclaimer: Time went by, but still not mine :( … still hoping to win in the lottery so I can afford to buy the rights one day ;-)
With shaking hands Magnus gently caressed Alec's flat hair in long soothing strokes. Once in a while he tried to banish some restive streaks out of his lover's cold face and bound them behind his ears. A typical motion, he always did to ease his once-was-boyfriend, whenever something had bothered him and just the loving act had always made Alec smile again. He would lean into Magnus fondling hand and then kiss the palm as a symbol of his thanking.
But this time the action missed the purpose because Alec stayed quiet, trying to avoid tears running down his sore cheeks. He clearly didn't know how to handle the outcome of the evening.
At the top of the bridge the world seemed clear to him and for the first time since three weeks everything made sense again. His soul mate hated him and it was the best to just end it so nobody had to suffer because of him, but this evening had other plans, fate wanted to play his cruel game with him and laughed at his face by sending his guardian angel in form of his ex-lover to save him.
Yet again his life was directed by others. Would he never have a say in his life?
Therefore he couldn't trust or give in in the loving actions Magnus was doing, couldn't believe his soothing words, couldn't bear the caressing kisses. It felt wrong, dissembled, pretended from Magnus just to make sure, Alec wouldn't harm himself again.
But Alec didn't want false truth, didn't want to live a lie, because it's better to be heartbroken than living a betrayed and canted life, better to be alone than forcing somebody to stick with him.
That he hadn't needed.
It was a very painful realization, but Alec had always been a realistic person. And no, he wouldn't do that to Magnus, he would give him his normal life back.
He would give Magnus free so the warlock could move on, letting him live his own life. Alec wouldn't be a burden to his ex-lover anymore and because of that, he tried to disengage himself from Magnus embrace, tried to move away from him, but the Asian man had other plans and pulled Alec even closer.
Magnus clearly wouldn't let Alec get away that easily again. Life was hell without his love at his side and the thought of losing him again was maddening. Instead he wanted to crawl into his fragile partner, wanting to protect him, but all what he had done was pushing him into suicide…
What kind of a man was he, that he had the power to do this? How did he have the cruelty to break somebody's living will? Were his father's evil genes that dominant? All his life he had feared, that one day he would have become his father and had always done everything to prevent that scenario from happening, but clearly he had failed.
And he would have never forgiven himself the failure, if Alec had succeeded in his plan of jumping of the bridge, if he couldn't have saved him.
No, he would make everything up again; he would be like glue to the Nephilim, sticking with him every single second of his life. Never ever would he make this blunder again – letting Alec leave his life.
Since three weeks he was only a hollowed shell and now life slowly crawled back into his body and so he savored the missed closeness and shut his eyes, wanting to melt into this moment for eternity, just the two of them for perpetuity. He could have kept going with his soft strokes for centuries.
Centuries – time that they didn`t have together and this fact hit him hard, send pulses of aches through his limb body and broke his heart. The obvious cruel truth tortured his immortal soul by slamming small needles into his raw flesh, giving him a sick feeling while suffering and there was no option to end this ceaseless pain.
What would he do when Alec's end comes and he had to keep on living alone? Was this universes' punishment for his sins in his earlier life and would his desolated future still be livable?
For Magnus being immortal wasn't bliss. It was quite the opposite; to see their beloved ones suffer in illness and then finally die was pure agony. And in the end you are left alone in your grief. He couldn't understand why people did that by their free will. They just see that they are healthy and young forever, but the darker sites weren't seen from them, the site were all their loved ones decayed into ashes and dusts.
Tears started to run from his feline eyes down his cavernous cheeks, wetting the cold hair of Alec. He was still frosted from the freezing wind up on the bridge and Magnus had the deep urge to tighten their entangled position, sharing his high body heat to warm his partner up.
No, he had to make it up. He knew they wouldn't have eternity, but he promised that he would make the time left as perfect as Alec deserved it.
He stopped the stroking and moved a bit to have a better look at his love of his life, his drug he always will be addicted to.
"Alec…. my love…my stupid Nephilim…. How could you?" Slightly he fondled with his hand over Alec's chest and finally he let his hand stay directly over the heart, with his left hand he trailed along the jaw up to Alec's lip, silencing the upcoming answer.
"Shhh… no need…. I was the fool…. By letting you go…. I'm so sorry, Alec…" After every single sentence he tried to steal a small kiss from Alec and his hand moved along Alec's cheek, trying to caress every single inch.
"Mag…" Alec wanted to say but was immediately cut half way through.
"Shh, I said… It's my turn to talk honey…" And by that he grabbed the neck of Alec, pulled him near and captured his soft lips. By all goddess did he taste good, like life and love and heaven at the same time. It gave him energy back and encouraged him to intensify the kiss, deepening it to taste more of Alec and his fantastic flavor. This had to be the feeling junkies would describe when they get their drug back...
And it seemed as if Alec didn't mind that feeling neither, because he didn't back down, instead he trailed with his tongue along Magnus' lip and the warlock willingly allowed him entrance and for the first time since three weeks their tongues meet again, dancing in simultaneous bliss, battling for dominance, showing their deepest feelings for each other.
After what felt like hours they shortly broke apart to grant their lungs some fresh air. While they heavily breathe in and out, their gazes never separated.
"Look, Magnus…" Alec started but stopped instantly, speechless because of the vision in front of him.
Magnus was slowly unbuttoning his shirt, showing him some smooth Asian-tanned skin and it watered Alec's mouth as if his favorite food was delivered, giving him a hard-time to speak his next words.
"Magnus…. really… as much as I wish to give in…in the action …all naked…" And by that he had to swallow hard because of all the pictures which flew around in his head. "but we… kind of… have to talk first." It was one of the hardest things he had ever done before – pushing his aroused partner away, denying him sex, but in the end he had to do it – and so he moved Magnus some inches away and afterwards he directly looked into his golden eyes, challenging him. He clearly wanted some answers first.
Magnus sighed and let his face fall down into his hands. He clearly didn't want to answer any…
"What...do you want to know?" The warlock finally spoke after some minutes of silence, knowing that he lost the battle.
"About you... your life... what you are thinking... feeling..." He quietly answered, not having the power to look to Magnus anymore. It was a lot to demand, he knew that, but at some point they just had to talk about the unspoken things between them. If they want a chance for a future as jointed lifetime partners, they just had to do this. Now.
"You did hurt me... you know..." It was Magnus again who broke their upcoming silence. "...playing with my life... was wrong..."
"I know and believe me, I hadn't wanted to give in..." Alec honestly admitted, letting his head sink in guilt. "but…Camille was just... there... when you...weren't... I guessed... She gave me what you... just couldn't give because you weren't ready...trusted me not enough... and that did hurt me you know." He played with his fingers, not knowing what to do, blushing by his plain words.
To be honest always meant to be vulnerable at the same time…
"And that gave you the right to go to our enemy? To betray me with her?" It came out harsher than he had planned and Magnus directly felt sorry for his outburst, stroking Alec's cheek as an apology.
"No." It was a simple answer, but the truth.
"And what gave you the right to not trusting me? By the angels, Magnus… I risked everything for you... for this...my marks could have ripped away from me, because of my... sacrilege..."
"Is that how they think about us?... Is that how you think about our love... about us?" Magnus had to breathe hard, just the thought about it made him sad and tears slowly starting to crawl to the surface.
"No, of course not... of course not..." He answered fast, stumbling over his own words. "...it's just... hard for me, you know... I just want to fit in… find my place in the world… the clave…and I just realized that I… I would always be the outsider..."
"You have me... if you still...want to… For me, you will ever be my everything" He looked towards Alec with hope glistening in his golden eyes.
"Always will... I do love you, Magnus." And for the first time since the talk, he had the courage to directly look towards him again.
"And I do trust you... really... it's just painful... to remember, you know."
Alec knew Magnus well enough to know he was innerly struggling with himself, fighting a big battle against his fears and in the end, Magnus finally spoke with well-chosen words.
"Your ancestors weren't the only one mentioned in the bible..." He broke off as he saw Alec's shocked face, unsure if he should continue. As Alec relaxed after his first jolt was processed, Magnus had the courage to go on. "My father... he is directly named..." His shivered words again broke off, he needed more strength for this and he searched for the warm embrace of Alec, steeling some of his force.
"He was the… leader… of the rebellion against god..." There it was – the unspoken truth was out and he bitterly had to see how life slowly was fading away out Alec's face. So Camille had lied to him back there, he thought.
"That meant…?" He had to hear it from Magnus – he had to say the word – the truth he feared the most. No more guessing – just the cruel truth now.
"Lucifer himself is my father…"
Alec's world began to tremble but he cleared his thoughts fast. Did that change anything, he thought to himself. Did that make Magnus another person? Did that modify his love towards him? It wasn't Magnus fault who his father was; you can't blame an offspring for his family.
"That explains a lot…. I guess…" His words didn't sound disgusted and they gave Magnus the hope, he needed.
"Yes…and I wanted to give you the hint down at the tunnel… by touching the witchlight…" And Alec remembered, his eyes widened in realization – the light had reacted… he was such a fool for not observing the fact back then.
"So…what now?" Magnus laid the choice in Alec's hands, giving him the option to back out, as hard as it would be for him, but he would come to terms with that, somehow and somewhere…
"I love you, Magnus…and nothing will change that, you know… it's just your father… it's not you!" To show Magnus that he truly meant what had said, he crawl back to his love and took him in a long and caring embrace, trying to kiss all his fears away; he tried to be his guiding light in his dark night, showing him the path below, bringing him aspiration.
"And… how did he meet your mother?"
"She was beautiful, more than that…. she looked like a living goddess… and well, amazing prettiness always comes with strong pride, vain and arrogance, all characteristics belonging to one of the seven deadly sins called superbia – my father's favorite one… and as he heard from her, he immediately got curious and the moment he saw her for the first time, he was astonished… a motion a prince of hell never knew before and something changed inside of him. First he didn't know what it was, what haunted him, but then it was clear – he was addicted to her – he was in love with her… and he was afraid; blamed his angel side, his fallen angel side for his breach and tried to hide it, tried to forget her… but he failed deeply… he crawled back to her… every single evening while her husband was working outside on the farm… until she got pregnant…with me… she started to deny him access, fearing her husband's revenge if he ever found out… and as he saw me the moment I was born… he knew… and he made the life of my mother and me a living hell…. wanting to make sure, my environment was like the place my real father would be… punishing me for something I hadn't done wrong in the first place…. but when you hear it every single day, at some point you believe it by yourself…. it's nature, I guessed..."
"Oh Magnus… I hadn't a slightest clue…" He brushed away some tears which were slowly running down his burning cheeks. He wanted to sooth him, but how did you do it at somebody whose whole life was agony?
"Enough of this…please….the memories hurt…and I had enough of this pain for the last weeks… for the last hundreds of years…" And for Magnus the talking was clearly over.
Instead it seemed as if he wanted to turn to more pleasant topics like kissing and leant forwards, capturing roughly Alec's lips, leaving him in confusion about the strange changeover but he didn't mind, kissing was definitely a lot more joyful and damn was Magnus a good kisser. He couldn't get enough of him and his kissing skills, his delicious flavor and his soft and smooth lips.
Heaven – Magnus never believed he would reach heaven, but this was clearly like it, well, actually this was even better. His father chose the banishment by his free will, but Magnus would never leave, would never throw away this bliss.
He let out a deep moaned and licked his lips, tasting Alec – a flavor which remembered him of a warm summer evening when you are roasting marshmallows above the campfire and you are drinking warm cacao and you just feel comfy and cozy, you feel safe and warm, you feel at home - and then he threw over all his well-prepared plans, letting his horniness taking control. He clashed his mouth on Alec's and found his lovers tongue again.
And this time it felt right – just right, this pleasure, this overwhelming feeling of closeness and love.
Alec's hands went to Magnus shirt and started to unbutton it, slowly one nub after the other, exposing his bare chest and Alec definitely liked what he saw. Magnus was just perfect, well-formed muscles under his skin with a beautiful Asian-tan he had always admired the most. It was a huge turn on and made him already rocket hard, just the small glimpse of divest skin already made him crazy.
He glanced down, saving every single inch of this gorgeous view in his mind, taking small pictures so he never will forget about this special moment.
"You look breath-taking…." It was the only sentence Alec managed to tell before his head went into a jelly status.
"Not as fucking hot as the guy in front of me who definitely had too much cloth on" Magnus smirked and with a snipped of his fingers, Alec's shirt disappeared along with his other cloth except for his black boxers. "Much better love!" Leaving Alec in a deep blush.
Magnus hands went to Alec`s chest, softly trailing along from his chest to his abs, caressing him till his head fell backwards in pleasure, enjoying the feeling he missed the last three weeks, letting him moan in pleasure as Magnus hands found the top of his underpants. A warm hand immediately went into it and Alec automatically thrust forward, wanting to feel Magnus' skillful fingers around him, wanting to feel the caressing, the pumping around his erection. He couldn't wait anymore; he was close just by looking at his lover.
He laid himself down, giving Magnus a better access to his groin. The ground was hard and uncomfortable, but he didn't give a fuck anymore. He will get pleasure soon which compensate this twice.
And Magnus knew exactly how to do this.
Again one quiet snip from him and finally he had reached his goal – looking at a naked Alec.
Normally the fact, that he was totally revealed, made Alec uncomfortable, but with Magnus, it was always something different, just the opposite happened all the time, the present of his shiny warlock made him rock-hard and he bit on his lower lip to oppress a deep moan.
His dick was already dripping with precum, reading to be taken in his lover`s mouth and Magnus obeyed with joy, giving his lover a blow-job was one of his favorite practices, having the opportunity to bring him bliss with just his mouth and tongue was beyond imagination. Without warning he went down on Alec and swallowed him deep till his base, hitting his own throat, making Alec to shiver and buckle in pure sensation.
"Oh dear lord... nhh... this feels so good..." He started to moan. "Oh, yeaaaah... baby... just what I wished... hm... so good..." Alec closed his eyes to just feel the moment in heaven and Magnus' skillful tongue which slit up and down his shaft while he sucked hard, trying to milk him dry. His tongue played along his pulsing veins, feeling his pulsatile heartbeat.
As Alec's breath speeded up, Magnus got more and more encouraged and his hands went to his firm and tight ass of Alec, grabbing the butt cheeks, spreading them, never stopping his action with Alec's beautiful dick, now and then teasing the throbbing head of his member, making Alec scream out.
Magnus' warm and soft lips never lost contact, instead he increased yet again the speed, sucking Alec even harder and with every hit to the base, Alec moaned loader.
"Ohhh my God," he moaned again, letting his right hand take a tight grip on Magnus's hair, pulling him up and down in his own radical pace as he knew he was close, having the urge to come right at the spot.
When Alec felt a coated finger slit without warning inside of him from behind, he was totally lost in the emotions. This always was the way he loved it, to be sucked and fucked at the same time, and he yelped, seeing stars in front of his eyes and the universe was smiling back at his beatitude.
It was beyond felicity. It was hot and sexy and just fucking good and Alec shivered with every heavy thrusting of Magnus finger, exploring his inside, spreading him, preparing him.
"I'm... close..." He hoarsely tried to moan, having a hard time not to die out of an anoxia or a heart attack.
As a second and third finger was simultaneously added, Alec had no longer control over his body. He quivered in rapture and as Magnus found his sweet spot inside over and over again, he couldn't hold back anymore, didn't want to, wishing, begging for relieve.
He came harder and faster than he had ever done and Magnus swallowed all of his come, sucking him over the edge.
After some more strokes Magnus released Alec's already slack dick with a quiet plop, licking him dry, tasting the last drops of his sperm. He always loved the salty flavor of his lover.
"God... angel... you taste just unbelievable good." And as a proof he licked his lips, making his partner blush deep, but the motion turned a switch down and his blue eyes darkened in lust.
Alec wanted to feel Magnus inside, wanted to feel his relieve inside, to feel his throbbing erecting hitting his prostate over and over again, to sense his coming inside, dripping out of him after he pulled himself out, flowing along his legs.
He liked the bottom part, even preferred it, preferred to be dominated by someone on top, to be filled till his maximum, brimmed with a jerking erection which would hit his sweet spot over and over again with every thrust. He just loved to be ridden in long and powerful sessions, feeling the hard thrust. It was indescribable, just pure bliss like heaven was on earth.
So he dragged him down and pulled on his jeans, giving Magnus the hint to snip them away. And as he obeyed and Alec had full view at Magnus pulsatile member, a loud sound of a clap echoed in the room and Magnus hold his face with his palm, not understanding what he did wrong.
Very confused he blinked towards his lover and with a slight anger he started to speak in the moment, he gained his voice back from his shocked status. "What was that for?!"
At the same time Alec freed himself from Magnus and crawled away in a fast speed. "You damn bastard!" He furiously yelled at him. "Three weeks Magnus? You replace me after three fucking weeks?"
"What?" Magnus was lost in confusing.
"Who's Thomas?" Alec spit his question out as if it was venomed. His face spoke the language of incredulity and hurt was seen in his eyes. Tears started to crawl to the surface, already reddening his normally beautiful eyes.
"What? Who? Alec what's wrong with you?" Alec couldn't mean the Thomas from earlier, could he? How? Magnus thought in fear but couldn't get a clue till he looked down and he immediately saw the mess what made Alec this nuts. Above his dick was something written in luminescenced ink. Something from a man named Thomas – he had left there his telephone number and a note to call him when Magnus liked to finish their session.
"You dirty little whore. First you cheat and now you deny it?" He was outraged and his eyes glowed in pure disgust against Magnus.
"I suffered every single minute like I was tortured in hell since you left me… but I guessed I was the only part who was heartbroken… did I mean that less to you?" Alec spit every word out, wanting and hoping they would cut his once love deep within and it seemed as if it worked because Magnus went pale like the white wall behind him.
"Alec, please... let me explain!" Magnus begged with tears starting to run down his broken face, trying to touch Alec's leg next to him.
"No… you didn't give me chance either!" And as Magnus tried to take his hand on Alec's leg to sooth him, he hit Magnus hard, tried to break every single bone within.
"Don't you dare touch me with your filthy hands. I don't even want to think about the places they were only hours ago… It makes me sick… god… and I let you suck me, stroke me … I think I have to vomit."
Alec stood up from the ground and turned around, trying to cover himself from the sight of his once-love - a love that had gotten a deep crack.
"Believe me. It meant nothing to me... I was drunk and alone... and..."
"No! You definitely were never alone! You just had to call, but you chose otherwise...and besides, it was you who drove us in this loneliness in the first place!"
"I'm sorry... really... please believe me" "No, Magnus, we're done! And now get off of me!"
"Alec! Please, I moaned your name... I thought the whole time about you"
"Shut the fuck up! I really don't want to hear about it. You should have thought this over… before you did it, before you threw yourself at the next best man ... now learn to live with that!"
"Alec... please... we both did wrong things... and we both are sorry... please let us just forget everything and start from the beginning"
"Don't you dare compare us! I just thought about it... It was just a notion. I would never have done shortening your life. Never ever! And that is the big difference. You did get physical, cheating on me."
"But we were separated!"
"Oh my god...You didn't actually said that as an excuse, did you? Get out of my sight. Get out of my life. I risked everything in my life, just to be replaced after three weeks... That's it... Just fuck you... We're over!"
And with that he dressed himself and immediately walked out of the room, raced out of Magnus' apartment into the pouring rain, leaving Magnus behind in a total break-down, crying like a baby.
He had destroyed everything with one improvident action and now his life lied in cullets in front of him – forever - and nobody could repair them, nobody could comfort him anymore.
Tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked older now as if he had rapidly aged by the events. This night had gone into the wrong direction. He had lost his Alec – his future. Again…
And something in Magnus broke.
In the meantime, outside of the apartment complex, Alec started to run.
He run down the street into the darkness of the night.
When his lungs screamed for some rest and fresh air, he turned into the next site road he could reach. With one hand he held himself up, trying to control his breath again and with the other he grabbed after his dagger and with no second thought, he cut himself across the chest, leaving a deep bleeding gash behind.
His pain was ineffable – outside and inside – but it will be over – soon.
Just two or three more minutes and everything will be gone...
Bleeding to death was a short but painful death and he screamed in agony one last and final time, letting everything out, everything what had afflicted him before.
He screamed his unbearable pain into the world – a world from which his mind slowly walked away.
Blood was swelling out of his ripped body in steady pulses, creeping along his body as his lifeless body slowly felt to the ground.
While he landed hard at the dirty street like a limp sack, a lean boy with blond curly hair writhed himself in a dreamless sleep. Brawly he awoke and immediately run towards his mirror at the other side of his meager decorated bedroom. During his sprint, he ripped his shirt from his body and as he reached his goal, a scream full of agony echoed through the halls of the Institute, awakening every member of the household.
The young red-haired girl, who hurried to his side to comfort him, stopped in shock and her heartbeat ended the moment she saw, what caused him this status of pain. Swooned she fell on her knees, letting deep grief overwhelm her.
Because his Parabatai Rune was slowly fading away - second after second - leaving only a barely visible small scar...
Telling me to go
but hands beg me to stay
Your lips say that you love
your eyes say that you hate
There's truth in your lies,
doubt in your faith
What you build you lay to waste
There's truth in your lies
doubt in your faith
All I've got what you didn't take
So I...
I won't be the one
Be the one to leave this, in pieces
And you...
You will be alone...
Alone with all your secrets, and regrets
Don't lie
(Linkin Park – In Pieces)
Please give me a hint if you liked it and what I now should do…
With lots of hugs,
Satyana