Warnings: None
DO NOT READ if you haven't read up to chapter 27 of Lucky Child. Contains spoilers for chapter 27.
Children of Misfortune
"In Defiance of the Dossier"
To be read after chapter 27 of Lucky Child
Yusuke frowned as he watched Keiko dash out the door after the gaijin. She returned to the restaurant only a minute or so later, but when she did, she wore the single most bug-eyed, manic smile he'd ever seen grace her pretty face. Seriously, it was creepy—even creepier than when Keiko wore that stupid teacher's-pet-mask at school. Even the idiot Kuwabara could tell something was up. He watched her run up the stairs with a frown to rival Yusuke's.
Floating on her oar in the air above, Botan clucked her tongue.
"Oh, my," she said. "I wonder what that was about?"
"Keiko being weird," Yusuke said, shrugging. Wasn't the first time he'd seen Keiko get awkward over nothing; sure as hell wouldn't be the last. "Anyway—looks like Kuwabara's doing OK, right?"
Kuwabara sat at the table with his head bent comically close to his textbook, mouth moving as he silently pronounced the words on the page. Yusuke sat atop the table, legs crossed, hands on his knees, watching his classmate study. Kuwabara was as dumb as a box of rocks (a heavy, dense box of rocks) but man, the guy could study when he set his mind to it. Yusuke had been watching for the past week as Kuwabara spent every waking minute with his nose crammed in a book. Hell, the guy had even taken a book into the bath with him, though Yusuke hadn't gone inside to see if Kuwabara actually read the thing while sitting in the tub (seeing Kuwabara naked would probably kill him for good, he was certain).
"He's been studying his ass off," Yusuke observed.
"It would seem so," Botan said.
Yusuke leaned toward the oblivious Kuwabara, eyes narrow. "And he's been getting his ass handed to him, too. Look at that black eye." He'd watched Kuwabara get the spit socked out of him a few times since this whole mess with the teachers began, but it was still weird to see the big lug covered in bruises—bruises Yusuke hadn't given him, that is.
Botan zoomed down, hovering above the table to watch Kuwabara read his book. "Yes, he's been on the receiving end of some serious punches this week. But with his sense of honor, I have faith he'll keep his fists to himself!" Mauve eyes sparkled as they turned Yusuke's way. "Don't you think so, Yusuke?"
Botan's chipper attitude and enduring optimism would normally grate on Yusuke's nerves, but in this scenario, he had to admit he agreed. Seeing Kuwabara fight so hard for his friends (and ask Keiko for tutoring, which Kuwabara almost hadn't done for fear of looking bad in her eyes) had changed Yusuke's opinion of the guy. Maybe he wasn't the total dumbass Yusuke had initially pegged him for. Yusuke respected, if grudgingly, the lengths Kuwabara would go to to protect his friends.
Not that Yusuke would ever admit as much aloud, of course. He had a reputation to maintain.
"And with Keiko's expert help," Botan continued, "I see no reason why he shouldn't pass his English test with flying colors! So yes, Yusuke. I think Kuwabara is doing A-OK!"
Yusuke harrumphed, but inside he felt a little thrill of pride. Keiko was without a doubt the smartest person he knew (though once again, he'd be damned if he admitted so to Botan). There was no way Kuwabara could fail his test with her help. She was basically fluent—fluent enough to keep her private journals entirely in English.
Yusuke would know.
He'd found her gigantic collection of personal diaries under her mattress years before, when he noticed her keeping them religiously. He'd hoped to find some dirty blackmail-worthy secrets, but…no such luck. He couldn't read a word of her surprisingly sloppy penmanship. Whether or not Keiko wrote her journals in English as a preemptive countermeasure against his snooping he wasn't sure. Wouldn't put it past her. Girl was an overthinking, paranoid mess when she wasn't pretending to be perfect.
That's probably why it surprised Yusuke so much when she didn't walk Kuwabara home that night. Keiko normally thought of everything.
Yusuke had watched her tutoring session with mounting confusion. It wasn't like Keiko to approach things distracted, but after she'd come back downstairs from whatever-the-hell-it-was she'd been doing, she could barely keep her eyes on Kuwabara's study material. She tried, and did a good job faking, but Yusuke could see right through her. And then when she'd just let Kuwabara walk out the door by himself into the cold night, and started to head back upstairs…
As Botan and Yusuke drifted out the door on Kuwabara's heels, Yusuke twisted in the air, floating backwards as he stared at the restaurant. "What is she doing?" he muttered.
Botan's head tilted to one side. "What do you mean, Yusuke?"
Yusuke gestured at Kuwabara walking down the sidewalk. "He can't go out by himself at night! Not with all of those assholes after him!"
Botan gasped, kimono sleeve covering her mouth. "Oh dear," she said, worriedly staring at Kuwabara's hunched posture and quick gait—clearly he knew he shouldn't be out so late, too. "Will he be OK?"
Much as Yusuke enjoyed his hobby of watching people squirm, he didn't have the heart just then to freak Botan out with descriptions of potential street-punk violence. He scanned the road instead, watching as Kuwabara passed two older ladies (the only other people on the sidewalk, he observed) and walked around the corner—
Two punks stepped out of the shadows of an awning in his wake.
Yusuke nodded in their direction. "He's got company in his six."
Botan visibly paled as the two young men—hair styled similarly to Yusuke's oilslick 'do—grinned and followed Kuwabara. The two old ladies stopped and turned, staring at the punks and whispering behind their hands.
"Maybe those women will help, and—" Botan said, but the women turned away and continued walking down the sidewalk. Botan deflated. "Oh. Never mind."
"Dammit," Yusuke said. "Why did Keiko let him leave?!" He spun, twisting like a fish on a line so he could look in the direction Kuwabara had gone, then at the restaurant, then at the little old ladies as they pushed past the doors and when inside. "You stupid, idiotic, ugly—ugh, Keiko, why did you do that?! You're smarter than this! Get out here, dammit, and walk Kuwabara home!"
If Yusuke hadn't known any better, he'd have sworn Keiko heard him.
Mere seconds after Yusuke cursed her out, Keiko burst out of the restaurant. She looked wild eyed and panicked, coat bunched under her arms like she'd barely had time to put it on before bolting outside.
"Atta girl!" Yusuke screeched. He pumped his fist in the air and pointed down the street. "Sic 'em! They went thattaway!"
Keiko started running. She'd always been quick on her feet, but Yusuke decided he'd never seen her run quite this fast before. He flew along beside her, shouting encouragements and instructions on precisely how to kick those guys' asses as she sprinted to the end of the street. She stopped at the intersection, turning in place as she clearly wondered which way to go.
"C'mon, Keiko!" Yusuke said, zooming on ahead. "Follow me!"
She turned and went the opposite direction. Because of course she did.
"No, no, not that way, moron!" Yusuke shouted. He stayed at the crossroad instead of following her, watching her run away from him as he cursed. Was pretty sure he'd have burst a blood vessel if he'd had a body. "You stupid bitch, that's the wrong way!"
Botan touched his arm, eyes regretful and wide.
"You know she can't hear you, Yusuke," she intoned. "And even if she could, what possible use would Keiko be in defending—?"
"I dunno, Botan, maybe she'll nag them to death," Yusuke snapped. He yanked his arm away; it was one thing for him to call Keiko a pathetic weakling girl, but he wouldn't let anyone else insinuate the same. "Keiko can handle herself. If we can just get her to Kuwabara, she can help!"
Botan blinked. "She can?"
"Duh! She dodges my punches like they're nothing."
"She does?"
"Yeah! Can't fight, but she can dodge, and she's resourceful, so I'm sure she can do something." Yusuke wasn't worried about Keiko getting hurt for these reasons. He had faith in her. She'd taken care of him too many times for him to doubt her now.
Even though Botan looked on the verge of asking another question, Yusuke sped away and flew high above the houses into the night sky. When Keiko and Botan were just ants on the pavement, he scanned the streets below until he saw Kuwabara (his orange pompadour was easy to spot). The guy was running at full tilt with two other figures following close behind. Shoot. Running out of time!
Yusuke zoomed back down to street-level and cupped his hands around his mouth. He yelled: "This way, Keiko, you dumbass! C'mon, just—"
Way down at the end of the block, Keiko stopped running.
Botan's eyes widened. Yusuke held his undead breath.
Keiko turned in place for a moment.
Then she sprinted back in Yusuke's direction.
Yusuke froze for a second, dumbfounded. "What the—?! I think she heard me!"
"That isn't possible Yusuke," Botan replied. She reached into her kimono and pulled out a small blue book, the one she'd consulted a few times since greeting Yusuke after his death. After a quick glance through the pages she said, "According to Spirit World's exhaustive dossier on all residents of Living World, your friend Keiko has no spiritual awareness whatsoever. It's impossible for her to—"
"Impossible, shim-posh-ible, she's coming this way!"
Botan yelped an incensed "hey!" as Yusuke flew away from her, soaring a few feet ahead of the oblivious Keiko as she pelted down the street. Kuwabara had taken a left at the next crossroad, but the deserted street held no clues to indicate as such. Keiko cursed as she skidded to a halt and looked both ways. Then she took a few tentative steps down the right-hand road.
"Hey! HEY! Not that way, dumbass!" Yusuke called after her. He pointed down the left road like one of those guys at airports, you know, with the little glowing cone-things? Botan giggled from afar, saying something about how silly he looked. "This way! This way! Over here!"
She didn't act like she'd heard, too bad for Yusuke's shim-posh-ible theory. Keiko ran her hands over her hair and cursed under the breath. Though the streetlamps shed only fitful light on her face, Yusuke read desperation in her features—desperation and fear, brown eyes glittering like agitated amber.
He hadn't seen fear in her eyes like that in a long time.
And he realized, belatedly, that he hated seeing her like this.
She'd worn this look a lot since he died. It was high time he came back and rectified the situation…
"Hey!" he screamed. "This way! Listen to me, dammit!"
Keiko paused a second—and then her weight shifted, body almost falling in the correct direction before she broke into a wild sprint.
"Ha!" Yusuke said as Keiko ran past. He shot into the air with a whoop of joy, observing from above as Keiko ran. When Botan appeared at his side, he smirked and crossed his arms over his chest. "See? I knew she could hear me. What's your dossier gotta say about that, Botan?"
Botan wasn't looking at him or his expressions of triumph (which was annoying; Yusuke wanted to get the one-up over her for once). Botan watched Keiko with a hand on her chin, large eyes unusually narrow and shrewd for the bubbly grim reaper.
"Interesting," Botan said. "Very interesting."
Yusuke wasn't sure he liked how Botan was looking at Keiko just then, but he ignored the uneasy feeling in his stomach. They had bigger fish to fry—like saving Kuwabara from jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. Something. Yusuke wasn't good at metaphors.
Keiko didn't need much more guidance, thankfully. Kuwabara wasn't too far away—the guys got the jump on him in an alley right off the street Keiko had just done down. Yusuke cheered when Keiko stumbled upon the scene of Kuwabara getting the shit kicked out of him.
"Awesome! Now go get an adult or the police or—" Yusuke said.
Keiko didn't do that, though. She didn't do anything Yusuke expected.
Instead of getting help, or screaming, or just grabbing Kuwabara and running, she threw herself headlong into the fray. If Yusuke had had a physical heart, he was sure it would've gone nuts with fear, but after just two seconds he realized his fear was unfounded.
Keiko…she kicked ass.
She took out one punk and then another in no time flat, using their momentum against them and her smaller size to her own speedy advantage. Yusuke watched with his mouth open as the first two punks hit the pavement, leaving Keiko with only one enemy to dispatch.
"D-damn, Keiko," Yusuke breathed. "What have you been up to since I died?"
Botan, who had been watching the fight by his side, shot him a sharp look.
"She was never like this before?" she said.
"I've never see her fight like this," Yusuke said. "I had no idea she kicked this much ass. Dodging my punches, sure, but actual fighting…?"
Yusuke knew Keiko been taking lessons, and he knew that she had a secret new teacher, but he hadn't had time to tail her and see these classes for himself. Between putting fixated ghosts to rest, dismantling schoolgirl curses, and sending dog ghosts to the afterlife on behalf of Spirit World, Yusuke hadn't had much downtime since he died. So much for resting in peace…
As the third and final punk leapt over Kuwabara, and as Keiko shifted her weight in obvious preparation for a slick counter-move (this punk was an idiot if he didn't see that coming), Yusuke felt another thrill of pride streak through him. Keiko had always been the smartest person he knew, and now she was an ass-kicking fiend in her own right! Fuck yeah! He lurched in place in the air, unable to contain himself.
"Get 'em, Keiko!" he bellowed. "Knock his fucking teeth out!"
"Yes, Keiko, aim for that hamstring!" Botan concurred.
They both cheered as Keiko performed a quick, efficient takedown, dropping the final punk to the floor in a painful arm-lock. Before Yusuke could say he wanted to fight Keiko himself to see how strong she'd gotten, Botan clapped her hand over his mouth.
"Shhhh!" Botan said (But I hadn't even started talking! Yusuke thought). "What is she saying now?"
They listened, Botan's hand still over Yusuke's mouth, as Keiko told the remaining punk a story—a story Yusuke soon realized wasn't a story at all. He couldn't hide a grin when Keiko referred to him as her best friend, and he laughed aloud when she invoked his name to intimidate the punk. Good job, Keiko. Yusuke didn't mind her using his name like that. Not if it meant keeping her safe. She could use his name however she liked…so long as it wasn't to say he was a candy-ass weakling or something. Which she wasn't doing. She was using his name as a hallmark of badassery. Good going, Keiko. She was a chip off the old block, and she was helping maintain Yusuke's postmortem reputation, to boot.
Not to mention she was way, way nastier than Yusuke had ever suspected. He'd have to take notes on her performance. Seriously, he hadn't seen intimidation this eerie in a very long time. The way she grinned, whispered in the punk's ear, talked about herself in third person…it was a masterclass in being a creepy, intimidating witch. 'Psycho' was good camouflage, was all Yusuke was sayin', and Keiko had it down to a science.
Botan, meanwhile, looked less than inspired by Keiko's speech. She put her hand on her chin as Keiko spoke, eyes once more narrow and shrewd.
"Curiouser and curiouser," she muttered as Keiko's speech ended and the punk ran off. "Very curious indeed."
Yusuke frowned. "What is?"
Botan held up her little book again. "Your friend Keiko is described here as kind, generous, and gentle, yet firm. This level of vindictive violence and intimidation isn't indicated anywhere in her file that I can see." She thumbed through the pages with a disgruntled frown. "There was no indication she'd ever have the temperament to learn to fight, much less develop the desire to learn martial arts."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means she's acting in defiance of Spirit World's dossier," Botan said. She stowed the book in her kimono, settling herself atop her oar with a determined frown. "I will report this to Spirit World immediately."
Since Yusuke possessed a marked distrust for any and all forms of authority, alarm bells immediately started blaring. "Is she in trouble?" he asked, all traces of levity vanishing from his voice.
Botan blinked at him. Then she laughed, waving a dismissive hand. "Oh, heavens no, Yusuke, she's not in trouble! For heaven's sake!"
"Because if you let Koenma anywhere near Keiko, I swear I'll kick his diapered ass into next Tuesday, you hear me?"
Botan growled and bopped him on the head with her oar. Yusuke yodeled in pain, called her a bitch, and floated around clutching his head.
"What have I said about respecting the prince of Spirit World?" Botan primly said as she settled her oar underneath her again. "Now. As I was saying, Keiko is not in trouble." She pointed past Yusuke at Keiko, where she stood talking to Kuwabara in the dark alley. "I'm willing to bet that since Spirit World had no forewarning of your death, the effects of your death were not factored into her personality analysis when it was constructed at her birth by Spirit World operatives. Her file likely just needs updating." She winked and stuck out her tongue. "You throw wrenches into everything, don't you, Yusuke?"
"I've got a talent for it." He shook his head, which had finally stopped smarting. "But sorry to bust your theory—Keiko's always been like this."
Botan blinked at him, confused. "Hmm?"
"She's always been sarcastic, and dramatic, and vin, vin—"
"Vindictive."
"Yeah, that." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "You shoulda seen the payback pranks she's played on me over the years. Girl isn't all sunshine and rainbows and good grades like your little book likes to think. That's just the act she puts on at school."
More befuddled blinking. "It is?"
"Oh, yeah. And she started taking fighting lessons when we were just kids, so there goes that part of your personality analysis." He grinned with mocking triumph. "Seriously, Botan, you might as well throw out your stupid dossier. It didn't predict me dying and it got Keiko all wrong. It's useless!"
"You mean it's not even a little right about her?" Botan said. She looked utterly scandalized. "But Yusuke, I've seen Keiko be very nice to her classmates over the past few weeks. You can't honestly tell me every last part of our analysis is inaccurate!"
"Well…I mean, the parts about her being kind and generous are on the money," Yusuke had to admit. "She'll do anything for a person if she cares about them, and she'll help total strangers just because. She's nice like that." He inclined his head at the alley, at the scene that had just transpired there. "But that crap about her not having fighting instinct? Yeah. Clearly that's total bull."
Yusuke fell silent, pivoting in the air to watch Keiko and Kuwabara talk. So now Kuwabara was one of her best friends, too, huh? And the big guy seemed perfectly happy about being labelled as such. He blushed and stammered as he admitted he cared for Keiko (uh oh, was that a crush forming?). Keiko returned the sentiment with the kind, warm smile he'd seen from her so many times over the years.
Keiko was a puzzle, honestly—because Botan's book wasn't wrong. Even though she had a vicious fighting spirit, Keiko was nice. She'd cared for Yusuke when no one else would. Hell, she'd cared for Atsuko when no one else would. Yusuke wasn't obvious to all the help Keiko had been since they met as kids. He knew she was responsible for getting him new clothes when he outgrew his old one. He knew she'd put food in Atsuko's pantry when it was empty. And he knew full well how many times she'd covered for him at school, when he got in fights or skipped class too often.
Realization dawned like a rising sun.
"To be honest," Yusuke said, words slow as he parsed them out, "Keiko probably learned to fight because she wanted to take care of me."
"Huh." Botan stared at Keiko, eyes brightening when she came to a realization of her own. "You could almost say her desire to fight is an extension of her kindness. She learned to fight to protect those she cares about."
"I mean, I guess?" Yusuke shrugged. "She's kind and smart and generous and she's a violent, aggressive, two-faced bitch…and she's the best friend I've ever had."
Yusuke gasped and put a hand over his mouth. The words had just slipped out, dammit—why was he getting mushy all of a sudden? Yusuke half expected Botan to mock him for his unexpected statement, but she didn't. Instead she smiled.
"Keiko is a very interesting person, isn't she, Yusuke?" Botan said with a nod in the girl's direction. Kuwabara laughed loudly right then, grabbing Keiko in the most kitten-pawed headlock Yusuke had ever seen. Ugh. Now who was getting' mushy? "Looks like Kuwabara has started to see that for himself, as well."
"I guess." Yusuke really didn't want to think about Kuwabara's thoughts on Keiko just then, for reasons he also didn't want to think about. "I'm just glad Kuwabara's got her back while I'm in limbo."
Yusuke put his hands behind his head, reclining lazily on the empty air as he watched the antics of his friends—the only friends he had in the world, not that he'd ever tell Botan.
"She's a fighter," Yusuke said, "and she might not like to admit it, but she needs people in her corner. She's too much of a worrywart to go it alone."
"Yes, she is," Botan said. She gazed at Keiko through eyes both fond and calculating. "How very, very interesting."
Once more, Yusuke wasn't sure he liked the look in Botan's eyes. And just like before, he set his uneasy feelings aside.
He'd worry about Botan later.
For now, he had a life—and a pair of best friends—to get back to.
NOTES
I haven't written in 3rd person in AGES. Sorry for the rust.
Sometimes I feel like people characterize Botan as far more innocent/naïve than she actually is (remember her "Go for the kidneys!" line and all her dark, sarcastic jokes in the anime?). I definitely aim to write as her a capable, intuitive, yet bubbly character. Hope you like her!
So Botan's taken notice of Not-Quite-Keiko's differences from Original-Keiko. Obviously NQK has no idea this has been noticed. Consider this a bit of dramatic irony?
Also yay for Yusuke's thoughts on Keiko. And yay for his not-thoughts on Kuwabara and Keiko. Lol.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING!