Chapter III

Invade Your Demeanor

Charlie and I waded into the box land my old room had become at about 9:30, and when the phone rang at 2:20 pm, we were still up to our elbows in various sorting piles. Charlie ran downstairs and answered the phone while I packed one of the piles into a new box, marking it. I was listening to one of my CD's softly on the radio (Charlie and I definitely had different musical taste.) so Charlie's voice was a low murmur. He'd been downstairs for a quarter of an hour when he yelled upstairs to me. His voice sounded tense, "Bella!"

I stood up, grimacing as my knees popped after kneeling on them for so long. "Be right down, Dad."

I made my way downstairs, and Charlie was slipping his work coat on. I felt a slight pout coming on. I'd really been enjoying the day with Charlie. "Emergency?" I asked.

"There was a robbery in town, it was armed. An armed robbery in Forks!" He looked incredulous. Poor Charlie, he thought he was living well away from societies monsters, if he only knew.

I couldn't keep my disappointment from showing. Charlie slumped a little as I watched him put his belt on. "I'm really sorry Bells, business before pleasure. Can you come back tomorrow maybe? Or even next weekend." He looked at me, hopeful.

I smiled. "Sure Dad, anytime."

Charlie walked forward and hugged me, and I grabbed my keys to go home. It wasn't any fun to sort through things without Charlie. It was all his stuff anyway.

When I walked inside, the house was completely silent. I walked upstairs looking for Esme. A door in the hallway behind me opened. I turned to see if it was Esme, but found myself looking at Jasper.

In all the goodbyes of the morning, it hadn't even occurred to me that Jasper alone had been unaccounted for. I shouldn't have come home early. I realized I had actually managed to forget about Jasper, wading through Charlie's piles.

We looked at each other. I was so aware of him. It really was ridiculous. He stepped out, and pulled the door closed behind him. He was in shadow because of the way the sun filtered into the hall. I couldn't see his face, but I realized he was looking at me in concentration, not as he had the last few times we'd been face to face. I felt a wave of calm float across me.

I accepted it, because I didn't want to feel anxious. He stepped forward into the light. He was dressed as was usual for him, a light cotton button down worn carelessly and half-buttoned across his wide shouldered frame, and jeans hanging comfortably on his hips.

My tension broke through the calm Jasper had sent to me as soon as my eyes flicked to the bare skin showing beneath his shirt. A different wave of emotion struck me and I had a sense of such strong desire sweep through me, it left me withering. I closed my eyes slowly, and as I opened them inhaled deeply.

He took a step toward me, two, three. The calming wave returned again, and his brows furrowed in concentration. He was standing in front of me again. I could feel alternating waves coming from him, and I knew he was warring with his own desire. I kept quiet, trying not to disturb him as he fought with himself. Calm, desire, then calm again. Calm seemed to be winning out, he finally spoke then. Despite his efforts his voice was still tinged with desire.

"We've got to be able to do this, Bella. If the tension between us continues we're not going to be able to remain under the same roof. It's pulling both Edward and Alice to pieces. I'm fighting so hard not to think of you for Alice's sake, that she's actually asked me to stop. She says I thought of you less often before I began trying not to."

I laughed at that, and he looked at me, confused. I smiled at him, "I've had the same trouble."

He smiled back, which I unconsciously beamed at. He closed his eyes again, and I felt a wave of desire slip through. He stepped up to me his hand reaching for my arm. "I have to get to where I can touch you, and be near you without wanting you." His eyes asked permission, I nodded to him in concession. He touched me and I felt the shock. I shivered involuntarily and Jasper visibly fought to keep his composure.

He cautiously moved his hand onto my shoulder. "Maybe if we talk about things which are mundane? We always increase the tension between us by silently desiring each other. Maybe it's that which is keeping me from being under control." I felt another wave of calm, winning out again.

Jasper's question reminded me a little of the moment after Edward had saved me in Port Angeles and asked me to distract him. This was a different kind of distraction, though I realize d Jasper was every bit as potentially dangerous, as Edward's had been that night.

I can see he's waiting for me to start conversation. "Where's Esme?" is the only thing I can think of.

Calm wave again, "She went to the store, she said you were low on some things."

I looked up into his eyes, trying to be brave; it brought another wave of desire from him. He was looking back into my eyes and it completely unsettled me. I tried to think of something to say, "What did you do today?" I asked, lamely.

Desire, "Read, said goodbye to Alice, read some more. Tried not to think of the sound of your laughter this morning." A considerably stronger wave of desire struck me. He was not winning his battle; I tried to think of another stalling question. "What will Carlisle do when Alice is at the Fashion shows?"

Calm, "He likes to find hot springs. He says it reminds him of when he was young in Italy." Desire again, oops. Not the right question.

"Hot springs usually smell sulfurous, don't they?"

Jasper lost the battle completely then, a final wave of desire enclosing me "Not everything can smell as sweet as you do to me Bella." And he stepped the last step pulling me forward by the shoulder he still held and pressing himself against me; he kissed me. His arms pulled me in close again, and I was feeling everything eminate off him. Waves battered me one after the other. I tried not to respond and burned all the more hotly for it.

I lifted my hands from my sides and clutched the front of Jasper's shirt with them. Pulling his lips harder onto mine. He crushed me into him, while his tongue caressed my own. He was pulling me forward and leaning over me in his urgency. I couldn't breathe. I knew consciously this had to stop, but I didn't want it to.

He straightened suddenly and reaching down to my thighs pulled my legs around his hips. He turned and took two steps and pressed me into the hallway wall. His hips thrust into me; he wasn't as gentle as I was used to. He was being overtaken by passion. Edward was always in tight control, Jasper wasn't able to control himself like that and it finally occurred to me that that was what I liked. Jasper was uncontrolled; I was so fed up with Edward's unshakeable control. I wanted him to lose control, as Jasper was doing now.

Jasper's hands reached under my arms, and curled over the tops of my shoulders holding me down against his thrusting. I whimpered at how hard he was thrusting against me, and Jasper growled and snarled. His hand reached up and he ripped my shirtfront, burying his face into my chest. He kissed, and nipped, biting and nibbling. I was shuddering and flaming in desire. This wasn't going to be stoppable. Jasper was not going to be able to stop, and I could feel it.

He pulled me down a little further again, and returned to willing my desire into action at the point of my lips. He kissed me fiercely, as if he would burn me with passion, As if he was burning with passion. I became vaguely aware of the sound of ripping fabric. I was no longer clothed, his knees buckled and he sank to the floor with me, sliding me down the wall.

Jasper lifted me away from the wall, and he quickly undressed himself. He was going to take my maidenhood. A part of me wanted him to, I was crying out for him to with every wave of desire he crashed down around me, but I had to stop that. He positioned me on the floor and set himself between my legs. I struggled. I wanted him so much so it was like an ache, a hunger that needed to be fulfilled. "Jasper, you can't take this from Edward" my voice was so filled with passion I almost didn't recognize it as my own.

Jasper snarled, and he swore. He growled at me, "I can't stop Bella, not this time, I can't!" And he dropped his hips and began to push himself into me. I crawled quickly backwards away from him. He was pulling me back, trying to get me back to where he and I had been positioned. "I want you." He pleaded.

"I want you, damn it! But you can't take this from Edward, Jasper!" I yelled.

Jasper's animal was in his eyes again. "NO! If you're going to... You can't do this." He leaned forward and placed his face just over mine. "Tell me you don't want me to move my lips all over your body, Bella." I realized as I spoke I'd begun to cry. "No." I cried. He pressed his whole body against me and kissed me, then pressed his mouth into my throat, tearing passion and desire from me and pushing it back at me to fight against the unwillingness in my mind. "Then tell me you don't want me inside of you Bella."

"No don't Jasper. Don't!" I wasn't sure if I meant "Don't do it." Or "Don't make me say it." Both were true. He bit my neck and growled again, I couldn't help it, I rolled my hips in ecstasy and thrust forward again, still not inside thankfully.

I cried again. "Jasper don't take this from Edward."

He cried out in a terrifyingly loud way. He smashed his hand through the floor next to my head. I screamed.

Jasper pulled his head back to look at me and his face was anguished. He was in pain, "Bella, stop doing this to me. Release me!"

I was a crying uncontrollably, tears of frustration and guilt pouring from the corners of my eyes, and dropping into my hair. "Don't do this, Jasper, I can't do this to Edward."

Jasper's whole frame shook for a moment, and collapsed against my body. Jasper reached a hand around my throat, he looked into my eyes and a snarl began low in his chest and was building in a way I hadn't heard before, its volume raised to an ear shattering volume causing me to scream. As I screamed I realized I heard another snarl, one I recognized.

Jasper was no longer over me; I heard and felt the impact of his body as it hit the wall at the end of the hallway.

Edward scooped me up, his face horrified and black with fury. He carried me quickly to our bed, pulling the covers back, and lying me down at the same time. He looked into my eyes, "Bella, are you hurt, love? Are you all right?"

I was shaking in shock at the suddenness of the turn of events, which Edward misconstrued as chill. He tucked the covers around me. "I'm fine." I said, a little breathlessly. He leaned forward and kissed me very tenderly on the cheek.

A flicker in the light from the hall caught my attention.

"Edward," Jasper's voice sounded broken, flat. It was almost a whimper, and filled with shame.

The snarling, vicious and horribly loud growl Edward let out as he moved to stand before Jasper was terrifying.

Jasper went to one knee and bowed his head to Edward.

Jasper looked like a depiction of guilt, Edward retribution personified, come to exact revenge. I sat up, I was petrified. I really thought Edward might kill Jasper.