Coping
My body had become weak and my eyes blankly staring at nothing. Seth, who had gained complete control by now, shook me slightly. I blinked furiously trying to concentrate.
"I'm okay. I'm okay. Thanks, Seth."
"No problem." He still looked weary. "Do you want to go talk to Billy?" The weariness quickly dissipated to excitement. Billy was really in for it.
I smiled tentatively. "Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'm just in shock. I should probably go." I made to stand up.
Seth grabbed my hand. "Everything will be okay, Bella. We're trying everything."
"Can't you hear his thoughts?" I asked desperately.
"Well, yes. But, he's really careful not to tell us where he is. That's how we know he is okay. But if something did happen, we wouldn't know where to find him." I could hear the fear and grief in his voice.
I nodded, understanding. As I headed to the door, I remembered. "Edward says hi. I know he'd like to get together soon. He enjoys you company. You guys make a good team."
"Sure, Bella, anytime. Tell him I said hello, as well."
"I will. And, Seth? Thanks for telling me." I made my eyes show all of the sincerity I felt. Although I was terrified, I was glad I was no longer in the dark.
"I'm sorry you had to hear it from me, so suddenly," Seth apologized.
I shook my head. "No worries. I'll talk to you soon, Seth. Come by my house anytime." I waved. Seth waved back and, as I got into my truck, closed the front door.
When I had closed my car door, I was free to break down. The tears started streaming down my face. I stared the car, barely able to control my shuddering and sobbing. I backed out very slowly making sure I didn't hit anything. I drove slowly knowing that the second I got to the border, Alice would see my fragile state and Edward would be there. I pulled over onto the shoulder and stopped my truck. I sat there letting the tears flow while my body shuddered uncontrollably.
Within minutes he was there. Edward lifted me effortlessly into his arms and took my place at the wheel. As I sat like a rag doll upon his lap, I wrapped my arms around his cold neck and buried my face into his shoulder. Edward stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. Eventually, my convulsions stopped. At some point my eyes stopped producing tears. I started to dry sob and felt very nauseous. Eventually, he spoke.
"My dearest Bella," he said, his voice cracking. Had he been able to cry, he certainly would have been. "What happened to you, my love?" His voice was stricken with ancient grief.
My voice shook. "J-Jacob. He's m-m-missing! B-been g-gone for weeks! No one told me. I-I'm just so worried. It's all m-my fault." The last word came out as a whisper. I looked into Edward's eyes and saw his anguish flash to anger. He was livid, but only for a split second. It was so brief, I couldn't be sure if I had just imagined it.
"Isabella Marie Swan," he said softly. "Never, ever believe it is your fault. You have done nothing wrong! Do you hear me? Nothing at all." Edward's eyes were fierce with pure, golden fire.
I nodded, slightly dazed from his intensity. Even in my darkest hour, he could dazzle me instantly. I knew I had not done anything. I just knew it was me marrying Edward that drove Jacob away from his home, family, and friends. Then out of the blue, Edward kissed me. Never in all the days that I had known Edward, have I ever experienced something so intense. After all the things that had happened, both good and bad, I had never felt so complete. I was beyond content. I was perfect.
My heart, of course, pounded so fast and hard I thought I might explode. I couldn't breathe, but I no longer had the desire. It was rough and fierce, but so incredibly soft and gentle. I felt all his love, passion, anguish, and happiness, and every other emotion poor from his lips into my body. It healed me, even if for only a short while. All the worries and sadness I had just experienced were gone. When he lifted his head, he was gasping for air almost as hard as I was.
By the time we had both gained control, he was grinning. I realized that I, too, was smiling. "Well that was interesting," Edward said, a small chuckle escaping his lips.
I placed my hand on his cheek. It was hard as granite but had a soft feel to it, as well. "No, it was perfect. How did you do that?"
"To be honest, I think it was because I only used a pea-sized portion of my brain. I let my brain succumb to my emotions."
"You should definitely do that more often." I looked out the window. It was very bright out. It must have been the heat of the day. "What time is it?" I asked, sitting up.
"About one thirty," Edward replied. He was watching me carefully.
"Wow." I had gone to La Push around eleven. That meant I had sat there in his arms, weeping, for about two hours. I looked up apologetically.
He seemed to understand my expression. "Are you alright, now?" he asked.
I nodded. "I think so. I'm still sad, of course. But, I'll be okay. You know, we should get back. Alice is probably worried." I smiled at the thought of her bounding to the front door waiting to see if I was in one piece.
"Is there anything you want to do? Nothing is off-limits."
"You," I replied simply. I grinned wickedly towards him. He looked confused before comprehension dawned on his face. His face quickly turned stony.
"Come on, Bella. You know you have to wait. It's just three more weeks until the wedding." Edward held my hand rubbing soothing circles on the back of it.
"I know," I said, pouting. He took the fun out of everything.
"Okay, so is there anything else you want to do?"
"Actually, I was wondering if we could go to your house so I can listen to you play the piano." He seemed much more pleased with this idea.
"Sure," he said. "But Alice will ambush you," he warned.
I smiled and said, "That's okay. For once, I don't mind a nice mental distraction. As long as I can listen to you play."
Edward held up our entwined hands and kissed mine. "As you wish, my love." He started the truck as I pushed myself into the passenger seat. He drove down the long, serpentine road to his house hidden by the woods.
Edward stopped my thundering truck and was instantly at my door, holding a hand out to me. I took it and walked slowly by his side toward his adoptive family. As we approached, I felt an awkward silence fall between us all. Eventually, Carlisle spoke, tactfully breaking the quietness.
"How are you, Bella?" There was no mistaking the concern deep inside that made his topaz eyes glow affectionately.
"I'm holding up alright," I answered quietly. Edward's arm quickly found its way around my waist, supporting most of my weight. I hadn't realized how physically exhausted I felt. "We were just going to go inside for a while. Alice," I said turning to her. "I assume you have some wedding things to show me?" She looked baffled by my mood. Had they all been expecting Edward to bring me home draped in his arms; a complete mess? However, Alice was quick to recover.
"Sure. We can do it right in the living room." She flew gracefully inside, excited already.
"Rosalie and Emmett are going hunting for a couple of days," said Edward, acknowledging Emmett and Rosalie's advance. Emmett gave me a quick, rough pat on the arm that was sure to leave a light bruise. Rosalie's reaction was what I hadn't been expecting. She took my left hand in her right and gave it a small, affectionate squeeze.
"Thank you Rosalie," I murmured.
Jasper came up to me and gave me a quick hug. It was a little stiff, but I appreciated his will power to try to make me feel better. I smiled warmly back at him. He turned and went into the house, probably going to find Alice. When it was Carlisle and Esme's turn, Esme gave me a tender, loving hug and a quick peck on the cheek. Then it was Carlisle's turn. His hug was most comforting. He seemed to understand the situation better than anyone. He gave Edward a pat on the shoulder and then turned with his wife toward the house.
I looked up at Edward, confused. He grinned and said, "Alice must have seen our conversation. They care about you more than you know, Bella." His face was serious now.
"Yes, but I don't deserve you all."
"Bella," he said, "you are absurd. Now, let's go inside. I can hear Alice's brain. She's beyond excited. You made her day." He laughed lightly and towed me into the house.
When we entered the living room, Edward went straight to the piano on the platform. I sat next to him, facing Alice with my head on his shoulder. She took charge immediately. "Now, there are several things that you need to confirm for me. I talked to your mom earlier today to see if there was anything she would not like. Now it's your turn." She smiled brightly.
I nodded to let her know I was ready. Then Edward began to play. I felt my mind slipping away while I listened, but forced myself to concentrate. Though, it was hard to resist when he was playing the lullaby he had written for me. When she was sure I paying attention, Alice began.
"Okay, this pile," she indicated the first of the five piles in the room, "is full of clothes, shoes, accessories, etc." I gulped and took a deep breath. I felt Edward's upper body shake as he chuckled at my reaction. Alice then held up a pair of deadly looking heels. I shook my head frantically my eyes wide.
Alice rolled her eyes and groaned, "Bella, you are wearing heels at your wedding whether you like it or not. Trust me, you'll thank me later."
I eyed the white, strappy hazards. I knew I would not win. "Well, it's a good thing Charlie will be walking me down the aisle. I'll need him as a crutch." I smiled weakly and Alice continued. She won nearly every argument. Every time she did, Edward kissed my head. Once he whispered, "Just remember that it's worth it. Soon, you can really fight her." He seemed excited about that idea. That thought made me smile. Yes, soon I will be strong, fast, and beautiful. It was definitely worth it. By the time Alice finished, it was after five.
The second she had put away the last item for review, I stood and stretched. "Thanks, Alice. Really, I appreciate everything you're doing. But, I really have to go and cook dinner for Charlie. Do you want to come for dinner, Edward?" I giggled at my little joke and Edward smiled appreciatively.
"Actually," he responded, "I left a note for Charlie saying that you would be staying for dinner. You deserve a night off." Oddly, there seemed to be hidden meaning in his words. I raised an eyebrow skeptically. Edward's own eyebrows went up innocently.
"Okay," I agreed. I was curious to know what he had planned. Alice saw her opportunity and jumped.
"Well, if your stay— . . ."
"No Alice," Edward interrupted severely. She took him seriously and left it alone. Alice grabbed all of the things that were scattered across the room and was gone up the stairs in a flash. I looked over at Edward in time to catch him rolling his eyes.
"What?" I asked.
"Oh, she's just so over excited. She's driving me crazy as well." When he looked at me, he had a very mischievous look in his eyes. Before I knew it, I had been swept up into his arms. I wrapped my own arms around his neck as he kissed me.
Without breaking off, he began to run up the stairs to the top floor. We got to his room in a matter of seconds. Some how he managed to open the door, close it, and gently lay me on the bed. Reluctantly, I broke away desperate for oxygen.
"Sorry," Edward gasped. "I forget how breakable you are. That's not good." He rolled over onto his side, propping his head on his palm.
"That's okay. I really don't mind." I snuggled in closer to him, breathing in his scent, making my head spin. "You know, I may never go home for dinner if this is what I get instead." I giggled and he joined me with his angelic laugh.
"Speaking of dinner," he said casually. But before he could say more, my stomach gave an enormous gurgle. Edward chuckled and said, "Well I suppose that answers my unasked question." I was having such a wonderful time, that the day's early afternoon events seemed eons ago. But they still nagged at the back of my mind.
"Before I eat, can we do that again?" I asked hopefully. He grinned my favorite crooked smile and nodded. Edward rolled lightly on top of me keeping nearly all of his weight on his hands. My body seemed to fuse to his while we kissed. It was not a guarded kiss. Ever since his return home, yesterday, he had started eliminating small boundaries. I thought of our wedding day and remembered that when that fateful night came, every boundary would finally be lifted. The words 'wedding,' 'wife,' 'marriage,' and 'husband' no longer got stuck in my throat. They came out as easy as saying "I love you"; which is exactly what we both said simultaneously when we took a breath.
A/N: One of my favorite chapters that I've written. More fluff than some others.
It took me a couple hours to type it. And I'm a fast typer. Next chapter is funny. This was originally 13 pages hand written in wide ruled paper. Hope you enjoyed!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the gorgeous vampires or clumsy Bella and her family. sobs hysterically