A/N: Sorry this took me for freaking EVER to update! I got in a bad car accident which took over my life then school started and work so real life hit me hard. But here I am updating this! Thank you for the review and comments they really mean alot! I hope you all still like the story!(: Comments and reviews are always welcome.

She had tried to fall asleep, she really did. Closing her eyes and trying to focus on the soft beating of Stefan's heart, relaxing into his touch as his chest rose and fell. She was glad that even though they were technically dead, their hearts still beat, even if it was soft and barely there. It reminded her that they weren't monsters. That there was still something human there, no matter how small.

But even as she tried to get lost in her thoughts and the slow movement of things around her, she couldn't shake the feeling of abandonment. Why had Damon left? She felt so calm, comfortable, at peace around him. Something she suddenly knew she didn't feel around Stefan. Sure she loved Stefan, so why was she feeling this way between the two brothers? The two most important people in her life besides Jeremy?

Swallowing hard she shifted in her spot, forcing her eyes closed trying to change her train of thought to anything other then what was consuming her in that moment. She would figure out her feelings later. Right now she needed to get use to her new life, the fact that she had changed forever.

Listening to the owls and the small animals outside, she slowly started to relax into Stefan before hearing ruffling through the fallen leaves outside in the woods. Focusing more on her hearing she heard a voice. She could tell the person was alone, probably singing along with a ipod playing since they sounded like they were attempting to carry some sort of tune. But just as she was deciphering more and more details on the person passing by her house, that was when she smelled it. The smell that she never thought she would ever crave. The heavenly scent that she saw her friends completely loose it over.

The blood flooded her senses. Hearing the liquid flow through the humans veins, remembering how good it tasted when she drank from the bag only a few hours earlier. Slowly her normal thoughts drifted off to her hunger, suddenly realizing how hungry she was still. She didn't know what it was like to feel the loss of control, giving into the hunger. But she knew she was slowly giving in to the darkness that called out to her and she felt like she had no control over it.

Carefully she pulled her arm back from Stefan, backing away from him careful not to wake him. He looked so tired laying on her bed completely passed out. She didn't blame it though. She knew he was probably stressed out after the events that had happened in the past 24 hours. She didn't want this, for herself or anybody. Sure it was nice having people care this much about her, knowing someone would always be there for her. But she hated seeing the effect it was having on the ones she loved, especially Stefan. She knew people were already judging him and giving him crap for not saving Elena first. Hell, she saw it first hand in the hospital between Damon and Stefan, which was the last thing she wanted to do. Get in between their relationship any further.

Letting out a sigh she scanned his face a moment just wanting to kiss and hold him, but the scent and sound of the blood flooded her senses once again, snapping her out of her thoughts. Licking her lips she could feel her mouth practically watering, getting up off of the bed. Slipping on her flats she was glad she hadn't changed into her pajamas when they first returned home. Sure it was a little eerie that she was in the same cloths she died in, but it beat being in her pajamas going outside in the middle of the night.

Remembering she was a vampire now she smirked, knowing she could easily slip out of the house quickly and quietly. How though? That was another question. She tried to remember what Stefan and Caroline told her about being a vampire and remembered that using the super speed was like running as fast as she could. Nodding at her own thoughts she took a deep breath before starting to run towards her bedroom door as fast as she could.

Suddenly she felt like she was almost flying through the air, barely touching the floor. Wind flew past her at lightning speed but it didn't effect her sight. She always hated sticking her head out while on a car ride, having the fast wind sting her eyes. But it was like she had a invisible shield in front of her so it didn't hit her directly. Stopping where she was running she took a few deep breaths, not realizing how tiring it was and almost forgetting to check where she was even going.

Looking around she stood up straighter, happy she was at her destination in the woods. Where the human was though? She had no idea.

"One step at a time." she thought to herself trying to give her some credit.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath trying to focus on her hearing wondering where the person was. She knew this was wrong, that she should have Stefan at least with her. But she was just so hungry, her stomach was practically clawing at her. She just wanted a taste. It shouldn't be that hard to pull away...right?

Hearing the familiar ruffling through the leaves, she smirked, quickly opening her eyes once again. Walking quickly she knew the person was close, feeling her hunger become more evident like it knew what was coming. Finally she saw the human a few feet in front of her. Noticing it was a man she cocked her head a moment, examining the man's mannerisms and the way he carried himself. She wondered if she could take him on but then quickly remembered she was a vampire, she could handle anybody.

Blurring over in front of the man she smiled, feeling the veins make themselves known under her eyes and her gums throbbing.

"Hello there." Elena says in a almost zoned out state. She didn't know what was overcoming her in that moment, but a part of her didn't care. All she cared about was taming the beast that was inside her and the only thing that could cure that was the man in front of her.

"She's gone Damon. We fell asleep in her bed. I woke up and she's gone!"

Stefan's words repeated over and over again in his mind as he hung up on him. He didn't give him a chance to explain any further, feeling his anger go through the roof. First he lets Elena die and now this? He swore he would never give into whatever his brother said ever again. That was the last time he would bend to his brother's wishes. Everyone judged Damon and never gave him a second chance and yet here he was giving Stefan one and he ruined it. He wouldn't risk Elena's life like that ever again if he had any say in the matter.

Quickly he grabbed his leather jacket and slid it on as he multitasked calling Elena's phone. He figured Stefan had already tried to call but he had to make sure himself. Who knew if Elena was just not answering for Stefan? Maybe, just maybe she would answer for him. How could his brother be so stupid? When Damon was there he made sure he locked and blocked all the exits, knowing if he fell asleep and she sniffed anything close to blood her urges would take over.

They always did...the urges. Being a newborn sucked and he knew firsthand. Though he had to go through all of it on his own. He mostly stayed in hiding for awhile, slowly easing himself into things. But it was the hardest thing he ever had to do, even with the switch completely off. He still didn't want to get caught, be like his brother. He knew Elena was going through the same thing, everyone did, and it made him nervous as hell.

He knew the moment the hunger subsided she would become overwhelmed with guilt. Stefan loved to rub that in Damon's face when he forced fed her his blood before the sacrifice. He didn't even give it much thought until then. Elena always did feel for other people, feel their hurt and pain. And if she drained someone completely, he didn't know how he would be able to fix it. He didn't know when he became this person, caring and thinking through every plan and thought. It had always been his brother. Stefan was the good one. So when did everything start turning around? It scared him knowing Elena had such power over him, able to change him into this new person.

Tensing up he clenched his jaw as the phone rang again and again, feeling like it couldn't get to her voice fast enough. It didn't help that he was impatient to begin with. Letting out a huff he walked quickly down the street before taking a sharp breath in hearing her voice on the other line.

"Hi you've reached Elena's phone..." the voice mail began, earning a irritated huff from Damon ending the call.

Blurring the rest of the way to her house he slammed the door behind him. Jeremy obviously wasn't home yet which he was grateful for. He wasn't exactly in the mood dealing with the baby Gilbert and he was seeing red. Storming up to Elena's room he froze, burrowing his eyebrows.

Everything looked thrashed. It was obvious Stefan tried to find some clue, some hint as to where Elena went. Rolling his eyes his thought automatically went to yelling at his brother, telling him how stupid he was trying to find some clue rather than actually going out and physically trying to find her. But hearing a sniffle, Damon's thoughts suddenly vanished. Standing up straighter he looked around the room before seeing Stefan sitting in the corner with his knees up to his chest looking completely defeated. He had only really seen his brother in this much despair only a handful of times in his life. The most recent? When he completely lost control and found him in the cellar feeding on bags with tears down his face.

"Stefan..." sighing he quickly forced his attitude into a softer one, walking over to his younger brother kneeling down in front of him.

He knew no matter how angry he was, Stefan was completely broken. He knew how much his brother loved Elena, wanted nothing best for her. Though sometimes his tactics sucked. So this guilt on top of letting her die was eating away at him.

"I...I don't know what else to do. I was going to wait until you got here to go look for her but I couldn't just sit here. I searched her room and called Caroline and Bonnie wondering if she had gone to their house but they haven't seen her. They're out looking for her." Stefan starts to ramble on, staring off into what seemed like nothingness, not even glancing at his brother.

Taking every piece of information in, Damon kept his face emotionless. Narrowing his eyes slightly at Stefan's words he sighed trying to figure out how to deal with his brother so he knew he was safe before leaving him. He didn't need two out of control vampires on his hands.

"Hey...relax. I'll find her ok? She couldn't have gone far. Knowing her she probably just went off to the cemetery because she didn't want to wake you." shrugging he tried to make it like it wasn't a big deal before patting Stefan's knee. "Come on. Get yourself in check because when I bring Elena back she's going to need you." he adds before standing back up. "I'll be back soon."

With that, Damon blurred as fast as he could out of the house and stood almost turning around in circles wondering where to start. Worried his thoughts might be correct about her urges he took a deep breath and stood still, closing his eyes. Focusing on his hearing he sorted through every passing sound. From cars, tvs, people walking and talking, to the water from the falls, Damon tried long and hard before catching something on his radar. Was that...crying? Deciding to take a chance he quickly used his supernatural speed to get him to his destination.

Stopping suddenly realizing he had made it he felt his mouth drop open slightly, knowing his emotions probably were evident all over his face. There she was, Elena, sitting on her knees on the cold ground surrounded by leaves which were probably no doubt getting all over her cloths and seeping through her pants. In front of her was what looked like a hiker covered in blood that was also seeping down his neck and onto the floor, creating somewhat of a puddle around his head. Elena sat almost in shock with her hands on her thighs and the tears streaming down her face.

Blood was smeared all across her mouth, staining the visible skin all around it, which struck a chord with Damon slightly. He had always seen Elena as human. So innocent, so perfect. He knew no one was perfect but the fact that Elena had that chance to live a full life, something he never could have, was perfection in his mind. But now? He had to get use to this site, no matter if she had lost control or was just feeding.

Seeing her finally acknowledge his presence he let out a deep breath he didn't realize he was holding. She looked completely and utterly destroyed. It was her first kill, he could tell since there was no longer a heart beat coming from the man. He knew usually most of the newborns didn't exactly kill anyone at least until 24 hours after their turning. Which gave them a good day to somewhat deal with the situation and their heightened emotions. But it had been only a few hours for Elena. A few hours to mourn her own death, to have her moment and realize her life had changed forever.

Yet here she was having yet another thing on her plate. Something he knew she wouldn't be able to handle very well, vampire or not. Swallowing hard he tried to take in the situation surrounding him, wondering how he would deal with the body and Elena at the same time. They couldn't afford having some hunter after them, not right now.

"Damon." he heard in the most pitiful, raspy voice, coming from Elena.

He winced slightly at the sound of his name, feeling his dead heart practically break for her. She must have had been there awhile, sulking in her mistake, crying. Enough to where her voice would be cracked.

Letting his gaze flicker back over to her he practically wanted to wince seeing how visibly shaken she was by the whole ordeal. But he forced a sad smile instead, making his way over to her finally.

Elena honestly couldn't explain how she felt by the time Damon suddenly showed up. It felt like a lifetime since she had killed the poor man, draining him of his blood. God why didn't she stop?! She knew why deep down. It tasted so good, like having the greatest food on earth and you just don't want to stop, afraid you'll never have that feeling or moment ever again. But as soon as the moment ended, it was like her whole world crashed down around her.

She had killed someone. Elena Gilbert had killed someone. Her first kill as a vampire.

She tried to keep herself constantly moving, rubbing her hands up and down her thighs trying to make them stop their shaking. Her whole body was cold, wind blowing against her making her tears practically like ice sickles. Her eyes throbbed from crying so much and so hard while her gums throbbed aching for more. Not only did the guilt continue to eat at her but the constant struggle with her urges against her morals was breaking her down.

"Hey...I'm here. It's ok Elena." she heard Damon say, watching him as he walked over and knelt down in front of her.

She knew what he was doing, blocking her from the sight of the body. She should have moved, made it less torturous for her. But she just couldn't. It was like her legs wouldn't budge. She knew if she tried to even stand she would either fall back down or throw up. Her stomach was in knots and she hated it.

"I...I..."

"I know Elena. It's ok...shhh. You don't have to say it right now. Let me take you home. First I need you to cover your eyes for me though." Damon says interrupting her.

She could tell he meant business, no matter how soft his tone was. Just the way he looked at her she knew he wanted to get something done and he didn't want her to see. Deciding not to fight against it she nodded weakly, closing her eyes and putting her hand over them just for good measure.

She could hear wind moving quickly and shuffling of the leaves. She honestly didn't want to know what he was doing though she had a good idea. Being around vampires for a good while in the end gave her good insight to her new life. Whenever they feed on actual humans they had to clean up their mess, make sure no one found the body so they didn't have people after them. But knowing the man wouldn't have a proper burial, that he might have family that would be worried and looking for him, broke her heart all over again. Feeling her chin tremble she felt her chest tighten with a new wave of tears forming.

But before she could break down she felt a warm hand against hers, pulling her hand away from her eyes.

"Hey...I'm right here. It's ok. Everything's going to be ok. I promise you." Damon says looking at her in what looked like complete sadness.

Nodding lightly she knew she could trust Damon. He didn't open up much but when he did, she knew to never question it. Staying silent she noticed her vision becoming blurred, wrapping her arms around his neck as she buried her head into the crook of his neck.

"I don't want to go home with him there. Please...take me home with you." she murmurs innocently with a sniffle before letting the floodgates loose.

Her shaking returned, getting another flood of emotions at what just occurred. Crying in silence she sniffled now and again, feeling Damon getting up off of the ground with her in his arms. She didn't know why she said what she did. But she knew if she saw Stefan, after disappearing on him, more guilt would only pile up. She knew he was probably beating himself up over this and she didn't know how much more she could handle seeing before she cracked. But of course there was always that small voice in her head that was screaming at her, knowing one major reason why she wanted to go with him was to be with him.

"Ok. Just sleep alright? I'll take care of you Elena." Damon says warmly and comforting, rubbing her back with his hand, walking towards his house through the woods.

Nodding once again Elena just continued to cry and cry into Damon on their slow walk back to the boarding house. She was slightly surprised Damon was letting her lash out the way she was but she was also grateful. She didn't want to keep this in, she couldn't. It was like her emotions were on full attack and there was no way she could hold anything back.

Slowly but surely, her crying episodes made her more and more exhausted. Closing her eyes finally letting up only to small sniffles, Elena took in the feel of him walking her back to his house. The constant, steady flow up and down as he walked through the woods and out onto the street, the warmth he seemed to put off. Everything she took in, gradually feeling her body relax into his. The last thing she remembered before she fell into a deep sleep was Damon laying her down onto his bed, brushing the hair from her face and whispering goodnight. She knew there would be a lot to deal with the next day. But right now, she didn't care. Her body shut out the events that happened that night, letting her drift off peacefully.