Present Day
Steve woke up from yet another dream of his past, the light that was streaming in from the window temporarily blinding him. He's been having these dreams a lot, dreams about her, about the last moments that he had seen his love.
Before those familiar feelings of despair and guilt consumed him, he swung his legs over the bed to stand up. He glanced at the alarm clock beside on the nightstand, and exhaled a large breath when he realized he was going to be late to training, yet again. These past few months have taken a toll on him. Not only is the anniversary of Bucky's death rapidly approaching, but so is her birthday. Lillian's birthday. His mind has been elsewhere because of this, and he knew the team knew.
"Captain, Miss Romanoff requests your presence in the training room." Jarvis voice rang out, piercing the sullen silence that was starting to fill his room.
Steve just hummed in reply and padded over to his closet to change into clean clothing. He knew that he was going to get yet another earful from her about being late, which was something that was not normal for him, but he found himself just not caring. The loss of the Barnes twins were taking a bigger toll on him this time around than normal, and he couldn't figure out why. Pushing his thoughts away, he tugged on his shirt and walked out of his room, desperately trying to leave his dream behind him so he could focus on training.
"Steve, you're not even trying," Natasha said as she pinned him to the mat, for the twelfth time that morning. Once she released him, he groaned softly to himself.
"I am, I just... Let's just try again," he said, standing to his feet slowly. Truthfully, his body was aching, and he wanted nothing more than to stop, but he was the team leader, so he felt like he couldn't show his weakness.
Natasha rolled her eyes and let out a huff of breath before nodding her head once. She obviously knew that he was hiding something, it was clearly written all over his face and the way he has been behaving the past few weeks.
"You know, whatever is bugging you... You can talk to me. Lord knows I won't judge," she said as she got into a fighting stance, her eyes watching his movements.
Steve gave a short nod as he planted his feet firmly against the mat.
"Nothing is bugging me, Nat. I just...didn't sleep well," his voice trailed off as he went in to swing his fist, but she effectively blocked that attack.
"Yeah, well, you've been having difficulty sleeping for almost two months now." she pointed out, swinging her legs to try to knock him down but he easily jumped over them. "What gives? This isn't normal for you."
Steve grunted when she landed a punch to his lower abdomen, but he shook it off and aimed a swift kick to the back of her leg.
"It's nothing, really," he said, his mind wandering for a split second. Natasha took that moment and kicked out her legs, bringing him down to the ground once more with a kick.
She shook her head and looked over his body as he let out a defeated sigh, not moving to get up.
"If you won't talk to me, you gotta talk to someone. We can't have you be this distracted," she said, sitting down next to him on the ground. She let the silence fall over them, though Steve didn't let it last long.
"I miss them," he murmured after a few breaths of silence, licking his dry lips. At first, he didn't know if she heard him, but she did.
Natasha knew who he was talking about, she knew what this time of year does to him, but she hasn't seen it hit him this hard before. She was worried, not just because he was a valuable asset to the team and he needed to be on his A-game the whole time, but because they were friends, and she cared for him.
"I miss her," Steve continued, staring up at the ceiling as he started to think of the dreams he has been having. "I miss my best friend. I keep... I keep dreaming about losing him. I keep seeing his face as he fell. I keep hearing her cries when I had to tell her. It's killing me," he closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath, "I don't know why I'm hurting this much. Usually I can push it to the side but-"
"You shouldn't have to push it to the side Steve," Natasha butted in, cutting him off, "They were your family, and you lost them. You haven't really came to terms with losing them. It's perfectly normal to grieve."
Steve just snorted and sat up, giving her a look of disbelief even though he wanted to believe her. He knew she was right about that, he lost both of them so quickly, and he hasn't dealt with his emotions about it. He kept himself busy so he wouldn't think, but there were secrets he couldn't shoulder anymore.
"Nat, if I tell you something, will you promise to kee-"
He was cut off by Jarvis, the accented AI ending their conversation quickly.
"Captain, Miss Romanoff. Mr. Fury has requested both of you. He says it is urgent."
"Thank you Jarvis," Natasha said, standing up to her feet. She held her hand out it Steve, helping him get up as well. "This conversation," she said, motioning between the two of them, "is not over."
"Of course," Steve said, and let out a breathy laugh as he followed after her.
"The Winter, and the Soldier," Nick Fury said, tossing a folder to each Natasha and Steve. "Two of the most deadliest HYDRA agents SHIELD has ever come across. I would even say two of the most deadliest assassins that has set foot on this Earth," he gave a short smirk to Natasha before the two Avengers opened up the folders. "As you can see, we don't have much of anything on either of them besides what they have done in the past, but we do know where they are heading next."
Steve raised an eyebrow as he looked up at Nick, mildly interested in what he had to say. The pictures that were offered in the folders were blurry, and the information was very limited, so that didn't give him much to go off on.
"And why does this involve us?" Natasha asked, leaning back in the seat she was sitting in.
"I'm glad you asked Miss Romanoff. I am sending you two into the field to stop them from getting what they want," Nick answered, smiling widely at them.
"And what is it that they are going after?" Steve asked, looking at the pictures again. His thumb swiped against the one labeled The Winter, and he could feel like heart skip a beat.
"That, we don't know yet. We do know that the location they are planning on hitting will be full of politicians and world leaders. Taking them out could cause one or many fights that I would rather not have to deal with, so you two need to stop them before they do anything to cause an uproar."
Nicks voice started to grow fainter as Steve lost track as to what was being discussed around him, his eyes focused on the picture before him. Those eyes, he knew those eyes. There was something about them that made his mind go completely blank, and his breath get caught in his throat. His whole body seemed tense, and Natasha could see something was bugging him.
"Fine, when do we leave?" She asked, wanting to get out of this little meeting as quick as she could so she could figure out what was bugging Steve.
Nick looked at his watch and cleared his throat.
"Will 2 hours be good enough for the both of you?"
Natasha rolled her eyes but nodded her head in agreement. When she looked over at Steve, she noticed that he was still lost in his thoughts, she she kicked his shin to bring him back to the real world.
"Uh, yes, sounds good," Steve said as he jumped back into the present, giving Natasha a side glare. That kick stung a bit.
"Good, now go get ready," Nick said, dismissing them.
Both of the Avengers stood up, taking the folders with him, and left the room. As they were walking down the long hallway, Natasha looked at Steve again.
"You seemed a bit out of it at the meeting back there," she said, her voice soft so nobody would hear them if they were listening in on the cameras in the hallway.
Steve gave her a tight smile and nodded, not wanting to talk about what happened because truthfully, he didn't really know himself.
"Yeah, just tired. I must have zoned out for a bit," he lied, then cleared his throat, "I'll be in my room, I'll come get you when we leave." He gave her a short nod and turned the corner, picking up his pace so he could get to the sanctuary that was his room.
Once he got inside, he quickly shut his door and leaned against it, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He felt anxious, and guilty that he had lied to Natasha, but he didn't want to explain himself. He didn't know how to even explain his feelings.
He tossed the folder onto his messy bed and ran a hand through his hair, his feet taking him to his dresser. On top, there was a locket necklace, something he kept from his past but was too scared to open it up. He knew what was in, what the pictures were inside. He hasn't changed them since he had first gotten it, and he refused to open it now.
His fingers were shaking slightly as he picked up the locket, his eyebrows furrowing. He was afraid to open it to see their smiling faces stare back at him, almost mocking him. He gently caressed it in his hand and closed his eyes, regaining him composure. He had to push his feelings aside, especially now with this new mission. He put the necklace back in his dresser, where he normally kept it, safe and hidden away. He forgot to do that this morning, since he was in a rush to get to training.
He walked back to his bed and opened up the folder again, staring down at the pictures of both The Winter and the Soldier.
"Jarvis, can you pull up anything you may have on these two assassins that Fury didn't give?" He called out, receiving a short "of course" from the AI before having images and articles pop up before him.
Steve glance at the time and sighed to himself, deciding that he would do as much research as he could about these two before they had to leave for this mission. His gut was twisting, and that anxious feeling washed over him once again as he watched videos play of these two in action.
He couldn't help but feel like he knew them, and that's what scared him.