THE WIND WILL BLOW AGAIN

"Ugh B, you just going to sleep the day away?" I hear as I slowly open my eyes. I enter the land of consciousness feeling the weight of an arm slung over my stomach. I can feel the soft fingers playing with my hair.

"Morning to you too Faith," I respond, smiling as I feel her fingers brush some hair away from my forehead. Goddess how I love this, waking up in my big comfy bed, Mr. Gordo on one side and the love of my life on the other.

I turn my head to the side and see my brunette counterpart grinning down at me, her hair a little messy from the night before. She opens her mouth, her full red lips giving way to her sleep-husky voice.

"You are so cute when you snore B."

I open my mouth to protest. "I don't snore! I am not a snorer! Snorer is not me! Ask anyone! I dunno…ask Angel!"

She smirks at me. "Already did. He confirms it. I asked him after the first night we spent together. Had to make sure it wasn't some creepy bed demon."

I swat her playfully on the hand she had wrapped around my side. "The only bed demon here is your morning breath."

Faith opens her mouth, feigning shock. "You know I would believe you if I hadn't already gotten up and brushed my teeth in anticipation of morning smoochies." She grins at me, flashing her white, bacteria free teeth.

"You anticipated smoochies? Even with me in my yummy sushi pajamas? Gosh you must really love me."

"Always and forever B. Haven't I proved myself enough with my ability to sleep through your snoring and the way that I allow you to sleep the day away when I would much rather be ravaging you the second I wake up?"

I smile big. "I suppose you have. Now what's this about ravaging?" I ask innocently

She taps her finger to the side of her head. "Well…I was thinking maybe a few …" she kisses the side of my neck. "And maybe a bit of…" her mouth travels to my pulse point where she sucks it quickly before her hot breath makes its way down to my shoulder. I feel my pulse speeding up and goose bumps make themselves known.

I turn my head so that I'm kissing her neck too, and soon enough, we are both giving big wet kisses up and down each other's neck. Faith cups me behind my head and pulls my forehead close to her own.

"I love you B," she says. Even after hearing her say it as much as she does, my heart speeds up and a feeling of overwhelming warmth and happiness spreads across my body.

"Love you too Faith."

Our foreheads press against each other, and I close my eyes, savoring the feel of the closeness. This feeling of complete correctness.

As soon as I open my eyes, she's gone.

The funeral was short and sweet. Everyone cried.

After Faith was released from prison and had come back to Sunnydale to help fight the baddies, she was able to form a real bond with all of us again. Those that she had wronged in the past were willing to forgive. It took some time, but it happened.

I will never forget the look in Dawn's eyes as Faith was lowered into the ground. When Faith returned, Dawn was more than ecstatic to have her back. Seems the monks implanted some good memories in both of their heads. So when Faith was buried, Dawn didn't just have tears in her eyes. She had rivers flowing down her cheeks.

My mouth was dry, my palms hurt where my nails were digging half-moon trenches into my hand. But more than anything, my heart hurt.

That night, I had to go back to the cemetery with Giles. Faith's grave needed to be consecrated so that nobody would dig up her…her bones. I was a little nervous leaving Dawn at home, but Willow said she would stay with her until I got back.

When we reached her grave, my breath hitched in my throat, and a sob threatened to force its way out. Giles grabbed my arm and held me close.

Without a word the dam burst and the tears flowed down my face, splotching Giles' jacket. He rubbed small circles into my back without making a sound, knowing that I didn't want to talk.

Grief speaks for itself.

When the tears finally abated, we begin the consecrating ritual. I lose myself in my thoughts.

"Woo B, that stuff is downright stanky!" I hear Faith say.

I chuckle. "Faith, it's just holy water. Main ingredient being water. Are you sure you aren't smelling yourself?" I tease.

Faith mimics shock. "Oh you know me B, the smell of something holy gives me the wiggins. Reminds me of Boston as a kid and my mom's boyfriends were drunkenly calling me a whore and reciting Bible stuff"

I rub her shoulder, reassuringly. "I bet it also makes you think of wrestling alligators naked huh?"

"Maybe not alligators, but I'd definitely love to wrestle you naked," she replies, winking and slapping my butt.

The ritual is over. Faith's grave is safe for now. Doesn't mean I won't be protecting it as much as nightly patrol will let me. Giles and I walk back to his car in silence. When we get there, he places his materials in the back seat and climbs into the car next to me. In a few minutes we're driving down the street back to my house.

The ride is quiet. I stare out the window, looking at the passing structures, but not really seeing anything. All I can visualize is her face. The way she could light up the deepest corners of hell with her dimpled smile. The way her eyes possessed more soul than an Orb of Thesulah. And the way her face lit up every time she saw me. She loved me, and for that I can never thank the Powers that Be enough.

Before I know it, we're back at my house. Giles grabs my hand.

"Buffy, if you need anything…" he says in a quiet voice.

"I know Giles. Thanks."

I step out of the car and briskly move up the sidewalk to my house. I'm hoping Dawn will be asleep. I don't know if I can stand that look on her face tonight. Opening the door, I give the place a once over, checking for any apparent disturbances. Some habits never die.

I walk into the foyer and over to the couch where I see Dawn huddled up on the couch, snoozing. Willow is curled up in the armchair, reading a book, and absentmindedly stroking Dawn's hair. When she sees me, she places a marker in her book and stands up. She offers a small smile in my direction, and I hug her in return.

"Thank you for watching her," I whisper.

She looks me in the eyes. "Whatever you need," she replies sincerely. Squeezing my hand, she picks up her bag and car keys and makes her way to the door. "Good night," she mouths.

I wave to her and turn back to Dawn, hearing the door click shut and the tapping of her retreating shoes. Trying my best not to wake Dawn up, I gently place my arms underneath her body and lift her. She stirs, but doesn't wake. I carry her up the stairs to her room, and carefully deposit her on her bed. Lifting the covers over her body, Dawn snuggles deep into her sheets. I glance at her as I exit her room, and as I leave I see her smile. As I close the door over, I hear her soft, comforted voice whisper, "Faith".

As I make my way back to my room, I brace myself on the wall. I can smell her. That cinnamon vanilla smell that seemed to always accompany Faith. It's so strong and overpowering; I can't help but feel like she's actually standing right next to me. I enter my room, hoping beyond hopes that this whole ordeal was just a dream and I'm going to walk in on my girlfriend sitting up in bed, flipping through one of Xander's comics, waiting for me to join her.

But she's not there. And she won't be again.

I cried myself to sleep.

The days following Faith's funeral were hard. I honestly don't know how I made it through the week. Dawn and I stayed in most of the time, huddled together on the couch, or in my room, napping, though neither of us would sleep on Faith's side of the bed.

Most of the time Dawn would be waiting for me when I got back from patrol. She would look up at me from the couch, teary-eyed. We would go to her room together and I would tell her stories of Faith and I. All the PG ones of course.

"B, look out!" Faith yelled in my direction. I looked up just in time to see a clump of goo flying at me. I dodged it and joined her in pummeling the Ollej demon. Our fists just kept sinking in, never really doing any damage. This was just gross.

"You know Faith, if I wanted to swim in a jello pool with you, I don't think I would have chosen to do it this way."

"Know whatcha mean B, this goo is making my leathers chafe," she complains, followed by a grunt of annoyance. "Hey did the G-man ever say anything about this guy?"

I give her an apologetic glance as I answer her. "Er…yeah. But I think I was somewhere in the land of not paying attention."

"Oh B, always the perfect little student," Faith grumbles.

"Don't rub it in," I reply, jutting my lip out to make her feel bad.

"Don't rub what in?" Faith asks, innocently. "This?" Before I know it, Faith's tackled me and we're flying through the demon. I feel my back hit something solid, and I wonder if it's the demon's heart. My question is answered as we burst out the other side, effectively drenched in goo. The monster itself collapses into a giant puddle, which slowly starts being absorbed by the earth.

"Oh gross! Gross gross gross!" I whine. I look up to see Faith smiling at me. "You are so dead!"

"What can I say B, you should have done your homework." She raises herself to her feet and holds her slimy hand out to me. "Whaddya say we high-tail it home and take care of this triple H I got goin' on."

I grab a hold of her hand and pull myself up. "Triple H?" I question.

"Hungry, horny, and in need of a hot bath," she smirks as she replies.

Dawn giggles. It's a good thing I left out the part where we took care of all three of those.

"Night Dawnie," I say and kiss her forehead, like I had seen Faith do so many times herself.

"Buffy?" Dawn calls out to me as I reach her doorway. "Do you think she's with mom?"

I sigh and contemplate her question briefly. "I do. I'm sure they're up there waiting for us to make a fool of ourselves so they can have a good laugh."

Dawn closes her eyes and nods. "I hope they saw you drool on yourself the other day."

I smile. "I bet they did."

Patrolling last night was uneventful. I'm hoping to get some action tonight, to compensate for the lack of beating dead things in the face I seem to be having. I'm walking along the outskirts of a cemetery and I see a pack of three vampires making their way towards the center of the graveyard. They seem to be walking towards… towards Faith's grave. Oh hell no.

I sprint towards them, pulling out my stake as I near. I see them turn towards me in surprise and get into a fighting stance. I jump up onto a crypt and run across the marble stone surface. When I reach the edge, I jump off the side and fling my body on top of the nearest vampire. My arm thrusts out and strikes the vampire right where his undead heart lives. Poof.

The other two vampires attack me at the same time. Seems that they are a little smarter than the average demon and know not to take turns. One vampire throws a right hook that I block with my forearm. I throw my thigh out and parry the other vampires kick that was aimed at my stomach. My fists fly out. I catch the first vampire in the face and smile when I hear his bones crunch. The second vampire takes it in his mouth; I can feel his fang bite into my hand and draw a thin line of blood across its back.

I jump kick him and he goes down hard. The other vampire advances and I let loose a flurry of combinations, beating in his corpse-like flesh. I fight the urge to say something witty; my determination to let loose my anger gets the best of me. There will be no quipping tonight.

With each punch, my rage is increasing. "Why!" I shout. "Why did you have to take her from me!?" I scream, as I continue beating the vampire to a bloody pulp. "I love her!" I yell and ferociously rip his head from his shoulders, rendering him to a pile of dust.

I start to rise from the ground only to be tackled from behind by the second vampire. He brought me back to the ground and pinned me there. I tried to struggle to loose myself from his grip, but thoughts started creeping into my head. What if I just let him kill me? Then I could be with her…

As if on cue, an outline began to form behind the vampire currently strangling me. As the edges of my vision began to get blurry, she got clearer. It was her.

She opened her mouth. "Hey B, don't be giving up now, gotta take care of Lil' Sis."

"But I just want to be with you", I say in my mind, since talking is currently not an option.

"I know, but the time for that will come. Remember the first rule of slaying? Don't die," she breathes out.

"But you broke that rule Faith. And now I'm alone."

"B, you'll never be alone. You got your family and your friends, and they love you. And hey, remember? I'm in your heart. Always."

My vision is swimming in and out. I don't have much time.

"So you choose to carry on B. And I'll be right there carrying on with you." She pauses. "Hey and wasn't it some hot blonde that once said 'the hardest thing in the world is to live in it?' So live on Buffy, live, for me."

"Faith…"

"When I say go, you get up and live, B." She turns toward the vampire throttling me. "Hey asswipe! Get off my girlfriend!" she hollers. And before I can even comprehend what is happening, I hear a shouted "Go!" and the vampire gets thrown off of me. I spring to me feet, barely certain of what way is up, and blindly thrust my stake into the heart of the vampire. Slayer instincts are the best.

He goes up in a cloud of vampy remains. And as the dust settles, she disappears.

I'm lying in my bed thinking of her. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep.

We're sitting on top of a mausoleum in the middle of the cemetery. In the distance I can see her grave, standing out against the pale complexion of the moon. Our hands our intertwined and we're leaning in close to each other, my head resting on her shoulder. Her hair tickles my forehead, and I can smell that cinnamon vanilla smell that means Faith is close.

"Gunna be a rough ride for a little bit, B," she husks into my ear. "But you and Little D are gunna make it through it. You always do."

Her voice is deep and reverberates throughout my being. It feels so good to hear her talk.

I nestle my head further into the crook of her neck. "The Gang is helping us out. We all miss you Faith."

She laughs lightly. "Why wouldn't they B? What's not to miss, I'm freakin' adorable."

I chuckle in response. "I dunno maybe that overwhelming arrogance of yours?"

"Aww c'mon B, you know you guys love that part the most. If I didn't have that arrogance, I wouldn't sway my hips so much. Then what would you stare at every time you watch me walk ?"

I pinch her side.

"Hey! Alright, alright. I'll tone the arrogance down in my afterlife."

I turn her face towards mine. "Faith, I'm not entirely sure that's possible."

"Man, B, you really do know me," she says as she kisses my forehead.

I'm silent for a moment as I relish in the lingering feel of her lips on my skin. "I miss you Faith."

She looks me in the eyes and smiles reassuringly. "I know Buffy, but everything's gunna be five by five."

"I love you."

"And I love you," she says, sincerity emanating out of her sultry voice. "No more suicidal Buffy thoughts ok?"

"You got it, F."

"Good. That's the girl I know and love." She starts fading away again. Crap! I don't want this dream to end. "'Til next time B." She kisses me on the lips and I wake up.

Dawn is staring down at me. "My god Buffy! Snore any louder and you'll be sure to wake up all the dead things within a twenty mile radius!" Ok, I guess she wasn't kidding. Seems I do have a snoring issue.

"Sorry Dawn. Deep sleep means deep breathing."

Dawn raises her eyebrows at me accusingly. "Which I guess means super-deep snoring."

I smile up at her. "I swear you are becoming more like Faith every day. Good thing you aren't too much like her otherwise I'm stopping this sentence before I gross myself out."

Dawn scowls and plops herself down on my bed. Eventually, she maneuvers her body towards mine and grabs my hand.

"We're going to be ok, right Buffy?" she asks, a pleading tone in her voice.

I smile at her and run my hand through her hair. "You know what Dawn? We're going to be five by five."

And I know that I'm speaking the truth. Things will be ok because Faith said they would be. And because deep down, I know that they have to be.

The wind may have stopped blowing when I lost my other half, but I know that the wind will blow again.