It is I, your long-time-no-see fic author. If you're familiar with my work, you know I complain about working too much. If you're new to my work, I complain about working too much. It seems like two weeks is about what it takes to get a chapter for this thing out, so I'm gonna try to keep with that timeline (but if I write one faster, then you'll have it faster!). Speaking of chapters, they're all either gonna be kind of short or pretty long. Working in elements of the past and present make for some challenges in the length department. This one's short because it's mostly connective between the previous chapter and the one that follows. But chapter two was long because these flashbacks are like mini-stories in themselves (and the one from chapter two wraps up in this chapter because it got looooooooong). I'll shut up now and let you all get to reading. You're all beautiful people with excellent taste in stories.
Have I the right to thrill you? You know I'll wait until you give me the right to make you mine
With the sun positioned firmly in the morning sky, Olivia and Alex returned to the apartment. As the detective put the mugs and thermos in the sink, the ADA folded replaced the blanket on the back of the sofa.
"So do you wanna go back to bed for a few hours or I could make breakfast and we can hang out?" Olivia offered shyly. Self-consciousness was seeping in as she realised they weren't under the influence of wine and Alex was now wide awake and not as suggestible as she had been when she first woke up.
Alex pulled her hoodie off and carefully folded it before handing it to Olivia. "I should probably get going. I've got some things to do for work, and I need to clean up my apartment. A week's worth of take-out containers won't just pick themselves up."
Nodding in understanding, Olivia smiled sadly. "Well, I wouldn't want to keep you from your cold pizza breakfast and chores." She hoped the attempt at a joke would hide the disappointment she felt.
"Right," Alex said. "But I would love to get together again. And soon. I had a wonderful time last night and this morning. And I don't think I'll ever forget that sunrise," she gushed.
A smirk took over Olivia's face. "Thanks for indulging me. You really didn't have to stay and help clean up."
"Ah, but how else was I gonna get you alone?" Alex winked at Olivia and headed to the bedroom to change back into her clothes.
Olivia stood motionless and tried to process what Alex had just said. How else was I gonna get you alone? NotDrunkAndNotSleepy Alex was flirting with her. There was no other context for that sentence. A feeling of lightness moved through Olivia and she grinned as she went to the kitchen to wash the dishes in the sink.
Moments later, Alex emerged from the bedroom dressed in her clothes from the night before. She retrieved her purse and jacket as Olivia met her by the door. "I'm serious about getting together again."
"I can't wait," Olivia beamed. "This was my most favourite birthday so far."
Alex reached out a hand and touched Olivia's shoulder. "I'm glad to have been part of it." She then pulled the detective into a hug and revelled in the feel of Olivia's body pressed against her own. As she pulled back, she looked deeply into Olivia's eyes, flashing her a mega-watt smile before leaving the apartment.
As the door closed, Olivia placed her palm flat against the surface and swooned for a moment before going about her day.
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Remembering their first morning together still brought a smile to Olivia's face. She had no idea that including Alex in a dinner with the rest of the squad could have been the beginning of a relationship that rivalled the best anyone had ever seen. Looking again at Alex's bruised face gave Olivia the feeling like the bottom had dropped out of her stomach; that feeling you get on a thrill ride when you're suspended mid-air for a split second and you don't know which way is up. It was scary. Olivia had no idea what she was going to do. All she could do was sit at Alex's bedside and wait for her to wake up.
Olivia dozed off again for about fifteen minutes before she awoke to the sounds of mumbling and the rustling of bed sheets. She opened her eyes and saw Alex, with her eyes still closed, gripping the sheets next to her and twisting her upper body. Leaning forward to put a hand on her arm to try to calm her, Olivia whispered, "Easy there, Alex. It's OK."
Alex opened her eyes and turned her head toward the voice she heard. Registering that Olivia was indeed in the room with her and this wasn't part of the dreams she was having, she panicked. Her throat felt raw and she wanted to ask where she was, why she was wherever she was, why did her entire body hurt, and why was Olivia there, but all she could get out was a hoarse "Olivia."
"I'm here, Alex," the detective said soothingly as she rubbed Alex's forearm. "I'm here."
The attempts to placate the blonde weren't working. She was getting more and more agitated as the haze of anaesthesia wore off. Struggling to sit up, she cursed her body's weakness and wished she could run far away from the circumstances at hand. Between the pain she was feeling and the assault of emotions that surfaced from being in the same room as Olivia Benson, Alex closed her eyes tightly and began to sob.
Olivia reached for the call button on the bed rail and backed away from Alex. Seconds later Rachel rushed in and went straight to the head of the bed, smoothing Alex's hair back from her forehead. The brunette watched as the red-haired nurse calmed Alex with hushed tones while looking from monitor to monitor. A minute later an older woman in a white coat entered the room and picked up Alex's chart from the end of the bed.
"Miss Cabot, I'm Doctor Westphalen. I believe you're due for some painkillers," she spoke in an even tone as she wrote some notes in the chart. "Rachel, would you administer ten of IV morphine?" The redhead nodded and left to retrieve the medication. "And you are?" she asked, looking at Olivia.
"Olivia Benson. I'm her...um...her emergency contact," she replied quietly. "We're old friends."
Nodding, Doctor Westphalen smiled in acknowledgement. "Your friend here is very lucky under the circumstances." Alex still had her eyes closed, but had stopped writhing. She was breathing deeply and whimpering occasionally as Doctor Westphalen examined her legs and other injuries. "Miss Cabot, do you know where you are?" Alex opened her eyes and shook her head. "You're at Bergen Regional Medical Centre in Paramus." Lifting the sheets to palpate Alex's abdomen, she continued to ask questions. "Do you remember what happened before you were here?"
Alex slowly opened her eyes and looked at the doctor as she leaned over her bed. "Car accident."
"That's right. Do you know who's here with you?"
"Olivia," Alex whispered before swallowing thickly.
Rachel came back with a handful of supplies and quickly drew up the morphine into the syringe. She looked at Doctor Westphalen, who nodded her permission to deliver the dose at that time. "This will help with the pain, but it's also gonna make you sleepy. We're keeping you here a few more hours to make sure you're in good enough shape to transport. So far, so good, but we like to err on the side of caution."
Doctor Westphalen made a few more notes in the chart and hooked it back on the end of the bed. "If either of you need anything, don't hesitate to use the call button." Giving Olivia a sympathetic smile, she and Rachel left the room.
Her limbs began to feel like dead weight and she felt like she was being pulled under a thick, heavy blanket. Alex looked at Olivia as her eyes filled up with tears. "I'm sorry."
Olivia scooted her chair closer to the bed and took Alex's hand. "Don't be sorry, Alex. Just go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." Alex's eyelids closed and her body relaxed. Lifting their joined hands to her mouth, Olivia kissed Alex's knuckles. "We'll figure this out."
Not long after Alex had drifted off, a soft knock on the door pulled Olivia's attention away from Alex. She looked up to see Bethany, who was now wearing street clothes instead of the scrubs she had been wearing earlier, slipping through the door and coming to stand on the opposite side of the bed from Olivia. "Hey. Rach said she woke up, so I thought I'd see how you were doing before I went home."
"I'm OK, I guess. Still don't know what happened exactly, but I'm sure I'll find out eventually," Olivia said before looking back at Alex. "She freaked out when she saw me. I don't think she knew what I was doing here with her."
"Not exactly the greatest reunion after so long apart," Bethany mused. She observed the way Olivia looked at Alex, the way she caressed Alex's wrist with her thumb, the pain her voice conveyed. "She was more than just a friend to you, wasn't she." It wasn't a question.
"We started out as friends, but we clicked on a deeper level. It sounds so stupid to say one thing led to another, but that's exactly how it happened. She came over one night for dinner and we were sitting on the sofa afterward and she just says, 'Olivia, I feel like I wanna kiss you.' So I said, 'What's stopping you?' And she leaned in and kissed me." Olivia chuckled at the memory. "It was one of the greatest nights of my life, but I knew I was already in deep and that meant I was probably gonna get hurt at some point. I just didn't know how badly."
