Disclaimer: Still don't own it…Goes back to diabolical plans

Jessie: So this fic actually got 21 reviews after two chapters! Wow!

Joh: Yaaay! Goes back to listening to music

Jessie: Oh, yes. Remember when I warned that the fic was rated for future chapters? Well, this chapter contains a yaoi lemon.

Joh: Sniggers Wow, that was fast.

Jessie: Smirks Well, it ­–is– me who's writing this, Sis.

J twins: Laughing

Jessie: So if you don't wanna read the lemon…don't read past the XoX marks, 'kay?

Joh: Ne…who wouldn't read the lemon?

Jessie: I…don't…know.

J twins: Laughing harder

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The last, dim rays of the sun managed to get through the windows, casting a warm, orangey-pink glow across the room, giving the more or less white room a more comfortable feel. The birds somewhere out in the growing darkness sang softly, and a slight warm breeze came through the open window. But the conscious one of the two people in the room noticed none of these things.

Violet eyes were set unseeingly on the sleeping teen's face, trying to grasp the concept of being able to be something he never dreamt of, because he'd believed it impossible. He couldn't seem to comprehend it himself, but not for the same reasons, of course.

'Me? A father? I can't see myself being one…' Envy thought. Right now, he could clearly remember the night Ed came home from Eastern Command, deeply upset with himself for the "failure" of the experiment. According to Brian, that would have been the night mostly likely for the conception to have taken place…

Flashback

Envy looked up from the book he was reading at the sound of a violent slam from downstairs. Stomping footsteps followed, and, with a stifled sigh, he placed his book on the bedside table as he waited patiently for his obviously angry blonde to emerge in the doorway. Sure enough, Ed came trudging through the door, glaring murderously at Envy's smirking figure.

"…Bad day at work, love?" Envy teased. Ed growled angrily, and slammed the door before he stalked over to Envy, slumping down to sit by him on the bed.

"You don't know the half of it," he deadpanned, letting his head fall into his hands.

For the past few weeks, Ed had been diligently trying to create a more successful type of Human Transmutation. He'd been up countless nights reading far more advanced alchemy books and spent hours on end attempting to decipher other alchemists' notes who had studied Human Transmutation. After the researching section was over, he went to work making drafts of an experiment. Today was his chance to put it to work at the H.Q. And obviously, it hadn't gone the way he wanted.

XoX

Envy scooted closer to the dejected alchemist, and wrapped his arms around his waist. Ed peeked out at Envy through his fingers from the corner of his eye.

"Envy, I'm –really– not in the mood," Ed tried to say as civilly as he possibly could, mustering all the calmness he had left over and putting it into his words. Envy slowly licked behind Ed's ear, smirking to himself when he felt a very slight shiver run down Ed's spine. Envy brought his hands up and kneaded Ed's shoulders.

"Relax, Chibi. Let me take care of you from here on," he whispered into Ed's ear, pressing his lips against Ed's neck and moving his lips down, nipping occasionally. Reluctantly, Ed relaxed into Envy and closed his eyes, trying to forget about his day at work.

Sensing that Ed was willing to take it further, Envy turned Ed around and made him face him before he stripped Ed's shirt off, tossing it carelessly somewhere else in the room and turning his focus back to Edward's neck. Envy picked an easily viewable spot on Ed's neck, and went to work sucking, licking, and kissing like there was no tomorrow.

Ed let himself sprawl out beneath Envy, and sink back against the pillows. Ed gasped when Envy bit down suddenly. The Homunculus immediately placed apologetic kisses down his neck until his reached Ed's chest, running his tongue down the center until he reached his navel, quickly dipping his tongue in and back out, earning a pleasured shudder from the small blonde.

Envy grinned when he realized he'd accomplished step one in his mission; get Ed to loosen up completely. Step two: seduce him. And if he were able to pull off step two, he'd hopefully get to step three: get laid.

Envy captured Ed's lips in a heated kiss, and forced his tongue between the teen's lips. Ed kissed back with equal passion, determined not to let Envy overcome him so easily.

His eyes snapped open and he exclaimed into Envy's mouth when he felt Envy's fingers wrap around his length. He'd been so preoccupied in kissing back; he hadn't noticed Envy's hand working its way into his pants. Envy moved his hand slowly, gradually making his movements more frequent. So when Envy saw Ed's eyes close, and heard his koi whimpering his name, he was assured that he'd succeeded in step two.

Envy removed his hand, and swiftly pulled Ed's pants and underwear off, grinning to himself when Ed hastily assisted in removing his. Envy paused to yank his gloves off with his teeth, before hooking Ed's legs over his shoulders and seize his hips, pausing to let Ed grab his shoulders

"You ready, Fullmetal?" Envy growled, entering Ed roughly without any further notice. Ed cried out loudly, gripping Envy's shoulders tightly.

Ed bit his lip to restrain from crying out in pain again as Envy impatiently slammed into him again. Though as Envy's rhythm quickly grew faster, Ed could slowly feel the pain ebbing away, being replaced with pleasure.

"E-Envy!" Ed gasped as Envy lifted him while thrusting, brushing against something that sent jolts of pleasure up his spine. Envy shifted quickly before slamming into his lover again, hitting the spot directly, and wrenching a wanton yell from Ed.

Envy felt Ed finally thrusting his hips along with the rhythm he kept, and groaned as the impact increased, moving a hand from Ed's side to his member, and pumped it along with their rhythm. He slammed into the same spot again, until Ed released with a particularly loud moan. When he tensed, he sent Envy right over the edge along with him.

Envy pulled out from Ed, and unhooked his legs, slumping on top of the blonde. Ed grumbled beneath him, and he chuckled, sliding off of his lover and shifting onto his side so that he could wrap his arms protectively around the much-calmer blonde. Edward pressed his face into Envy's chest, breathing his sent in. Envy kissed the top of Ed's head lightly.

"See? Today wasn't all that bad, now, was it?" He asked with a small, smug smirk. Ed merely replied his muffled response, cuddling up even closer to his partner. His breaths evened in sleep, and Envy joined him not too long after, but not before he was able to think: 'Mission accomplished.'

XoX

End Flashback.

(A/N: It's safe now)

Envy was shaken from his deep reverie due to a quiet question from a certain blonde…

"Envy…why is your hand on my stomach?" Ed asked, looking slightly confused. Envy looked down, and sure enough, while he'd been thinking, his hand had traveled down, and was now resting on Edward's (currently) flat stomach. His fingers were even tracing small patterns on their own.

Edward continued looking around the room, taking it all in. He chuckled softly, and looked at Envy, amusement in his eyes.

"Envy, I had the –strangest- dream…you'll never guess what it was about!" Ed laughed.

"Lemme guess: a crazy doctor came in and announced you were pregnant," Envy said bluntly. Ed paled, and swallowed hard.

"…I was sort of hoping wouldn't say that," he whispered weakly. All of his muscles suddenly went slack, and he slumped forward, his eyes covered by his bangs. Envy frowned, and wrapped his arms around the distraught blonde. Envy opened his mouth to reply before quickly closing it, realizing that he had absolutely no idea of what to say to his chibi.

Ed's eyes were lowered unseeingly at the covers. Envy could tell that thoughts were racing through his head, and he was trying to piece together logical answers one by one.

"…Envy?" Ed asked, almost inaudibly.

"Hmm?" Envy made a soft noise in his throat to show he was listening. Ed slowly lifted his head up to look at Envy. The Homunculus was shocked to see two thin trails of tears slowly trickling down Ed's cheeks.

"Envy, how're we going to do this?" Ed whimpered, not bothering to wipe away his tears, because more just kept coming. Envy's expression softened, and he was quiet for a moment, thinking of an answer. Ed gazed at his lover, waiting for an impending answer.

Finally, Envy cupped Ed's cheek with his hand, wiping his tears away with his thumb. Ed's golden eyes blinked in confusion. He knew as well as anyone that it was strange for Envy to show any bit of comforting behavior.

"I honestly don't know, Chibi, but it'll be okay," Envy replied. Ed looked like he was holding back from sobbing, and Envy slipped his arms around his small blonde. Envy felt shudders racking through Ed's back as he sobbed silently into his shoulder. Envy looked slightly nervous; he was used to Ed being chronically angry, not emotional. Envy gulped slightly, before he awkwardly rubbed Ed's back. A weak laugh cut through Ed's sobs, and he pulled back, wiping his eyes.

"I-I hate being s-so fucking emotional," he groaned, his mood returning to normal. Envy smirked.

"Aw, is "Mommy" getting hormonal?" Envy grinned. Envy blushed deeply.

"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled, pulling a pillow out from behind them and smacking Envy in the side of the head. Envy grinned evilly.

"Oh, you asked for it, Alchemist," he chuckled, struggling to get the pillow from Ed's right hand. With strength only the Homunculus could muster, he managed to rip it from a very surprised Ed's grip. Envy pinned the blonde under himself, and smirked down at Ed. He slipped his hand beneath Ed's shirt, causing Ed to shiver due to the sudden cool contact against his warm skin. Envy traced feather light strokes on Ed's abdomen.

"Mm, this won't stay flat for long," Envy murmured, quickly leaning down to press his lips against Ed's before the chibi could retort angrily. Ed melted into the kiss, and let Envy slip his tongue between his lips. Envy pulled away after a few more moments, licking his lip in a satiated manner.

Envy moved so that he had Ed resting up against him for support. Ed rested his head against Envy's shoulder, absentmindedly toying with a loose strand of Envy's long, emerald-green hair. Envy's hand was still under Ed's shirt, now tracing small circles.

"Envy--" Ed started, but broke off abruptly.

"What?" Envy asked, continuing to stroke Ed's stomach softly. Ed took a deep breath.

"Do you…do you hate me?" Ed asked timidly. Envy's mouth fell open slightly.

"Of course not, Edo. Why would I hate you?" Envy replied quickly after his initial pause. Ed looked down.

"Because…it's not natural…" Ed trailed off. Envy rolled his eyes.

"Edo, I'm the most unnatural thing here, okay?" Edward made a quiet noise in response, resting his cheek against Envy's shoulder. Envy could sense Ed's mood dropping quickly. Envy frowned, once again attempting to think of something to say to comfort Ed. Before he could say anything, Ed started talking again.

"How am I going to be able to go to work?" Ed asked softly. Envy shrugged.

"Tell them the truth," Envy said simply. Ed glowered at him.

"Oh, so to you it's no big deal if everyone knows the Fullmetal Alchemist is knocked up?" Ed growled. Envy braised an eyebrow.

"…Yeah, I guess so," Envy replied slowly. Smack.

"Itai! What was that for?" Envy yelled, rubbing his head where Ed had punched him with his metal arm.

"For being a fucking asshole," Ed replied plainly, crossing his arms.

"Wow, Edo, that's sure as hell a mature reason," Envy said, rolling his eyes at his blonde.

"Shut the fuck up," Ed growled, lifting his right arm in an intimidating manner. Envy clenched his fingers into a tight fist, and forced himself to remain calm.

"…Look, Edo, I don't wanna fight, okay?" Ed's scowl vanished, and was replaced with a tired expression.

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, examining his automail arm in boredom.

A pause.

"Hey, Envy, when can we get outta here?"

"I guess…whenever you check out, right?" Ed brightened up immediately.

"Really? Then let's get out of here now!" he exclaimed, pulling back the covers of the bed, and cautiously turning to the side to gingerly place his feet on the floor. Envy hopped out on the other side, and came around to Ed, ready to support him if necessary. Ed quickly gained his balance himself, and, picking up his red coat slung across a chair on the way out, strode towards the door, opening it and leading the way out of the room.

XxXxXxXxXx

Ed sighed in relief upon reaching the safely of their home. After quickly hanging up his coat and kicking off his shoes, the alchemist made his way into the living room, happily falling onto the coach with a groan.

"Damnit," he muttered, luxuriously stretching out on the couch, Envy joining him almost immediately after he'd made himself comfortable.

"What?" Envy asked, closing his eyes, and lazily putting his arms behind his head, using them as a pillow.

"It's just…after I started a relationship with you…" Ed murmured, resting his chin on his hand, staring into space thoughtfully. Envy peeked an eye open in mild interest.

"Yeah?" Envy urged, sensing Ed's hesitation. Ed frowned.

"…I sorta gave up on ever having kids. I never imagined having any with you, especially not literally" Ed laughed. At this point, both of Envy's eyes were open, and focused on Ed. Ed grinned childishly.

"Well, I'm sorta…happy I get the chance to be a dad-"

"Mom," Envy corrected with a smirk. Ed glared.

"…Parent." Ed finished, staring at Envy as if challenging him to correct him again. Envy's smirk broadened.

"I didn't say anything," he replied "innocently." Ed rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself.

"I know that adoption is always an alternative way to have kids, but I just…one of the biggest reasons I couldn't imagine raising kids with you was because…I never could imagine you with kids, and, well, are you even okay with having a baby?" Ed blurted out the last bit. Envy immediately knew by the way Ed said it that the chibi had been holding back from asking for quite a while.

Instead of instantaneously answering without thought as he usually did, Envy took the time to think before he spoke, letting Ed know that he was taking the situation as seriously as he was.

"Edo, this is as surprising and new to me as it is to you. It's hard for me to envision me with kids myself. I also never thought I'd ever have the opportunity, being a Homunculus and all," Envy replied, sighing softly.

"It's gotta be the most human thing any of us has done," he added quietly. Ed smiled, obviously relived.

"Well, even though I'm still terrified of the prospect of having a baby," Ed broke off, paling slightly before continuing.

"I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather have a kid with," Ed finished, the color in his face coming back with a soft blush. His words caused Envy to break into a broad grin.

"…Damn, I love you, Edo," Envy declared, snaking an arm around Ed's waist and pulling him closer. He easily pulled the blonde onto his lap, sucking the back of Ed's neck seductively. Ed shivered in response, letting himself fall back into Envy. Envy traced his tongue down Ed's neck, and lifted his hands to slip Ed's top off, running his lips against the smooth skin. Ed let himself get lost in Envy's teasing ministrations, sighing in contentment when Envy did something that felt particularly good.

Eventually, the two ended up lying together on the couch, resting in a comfortable silence. Envy pressed himself further back against the couch, letting Ed nestle up even closer against his front. He slipped his arms possessively around the blonde's abdomen, and closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

A sudden gasp from Ed brought Envy back to reality, and he tilted his head to the side so that he could see Ed's face.

"What's wrong?" Envy asked, seeing that Ed's eyes were wide, and his face was nearly white. Ed slowly turned his head to look at Envy, licking his lips nervously before he could speak.

"Damnit, Envy, what am I gonna tell Al?"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx


Jessie: Dun dun duuuun. Uh-oh! How's Ed's little brother gonna react to the news?

Joh: Wait, does Al even know that Ed and Envy are together?

Jessie: Smiles evilly Maaaybe, maaaybe not!

Joh: Tears B-but I wanna knoooow!

Jessie: Huggles Don't worry, you'll find out next chappie, Sis!

Joh: Sighs Okay, Nee-san…

dream-whizper: Y-you really think I'm that good? You're sooo nice! Thank you so much! You don't know how much that means to me! I hope you continue enjoying my writing…I really, really hope you enjoyed this chappie…I tried my best! I'll message you ASAP with an alternative e-mail, 'kay? Huggles!

aruslym: Laughs Of course Edo should feel successful, even if his experiment sorta kinda didn't work out the way he thought it would! Heh, heh, heh…Yeah, Envy's gonna have to go through hell, isn't he? Sniggers

Kaoru Gal: Loved your huge review, makes me laugh whenever I read it, babe! Re-reads and laughs hysterically Love you, Sis! You rock!

Me And My God Complex: Glad you're enjoying it! I'm updating, see? I'm a good person…right?

razatip: Breathes out in relief Good, I hoped that explanation would satisfy people! Bows Thank you, thank you. Oh yeah…do you think the seme and uke are changed now? I hope so… Anyways, hope you liked the chapter!

HolyMistress: Hahaha! But I love your sick mind (Jk) Glad you liked the ending, I thought it was pretty funny, too! That's why I wrote it of course, and if you enjoyed it, it was a success! Whoot!

Solo Maxwell-Yamato: Waves flag with you Ditto! Yeah EnvyxEd mpregs! Rock on!

shu-chan77901: Glad you like it so far! You'll find out as you keep on reading if they keep it or not. All in good time.

SexySpoonsWillRuleUsAll: I'm happy you enjoyed the chappie. Hope this one was good as well! Nods Here's Envy's well-deserved break! Giggles

Caim soul eater: Yay! Thanks so much! Hope you continue to like it!

Kakashisninjadogs: Yup! Edo's gonna be a mommy, and Envy's gonna be a daddy! Ah, I pity Envy though…the things he's gonna have to go through…Snickers

(Please review, because I need to make sure everyone's enjoying the fic! Ice cream and double chocolate chip cookies to you awesome reviewers. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it so much so far! Thanks for the support, and keep reviewing! Toodles!)