Author's Note: All the Vocaloids in this story have been changed to age 13.
Rin, as soon as she arrived home, ran into her room. Holding her cold fingers to her unusually warm cheeks, she let out a shuddering breath. The first day of her school, for Vocaloids… and she couldn't say that she had enjoyed it very much. Why did everyone have to be so outgoing? The only time of the day she was left alone, she reflected, was at recess, where she could sit and draw with one of her real friends, Miki. The redhead was quite rambunctious, but nonetheless, Rin enjoyed their simple chatter.
Some of the other Vocaloids, though, were much more annoying. Gossip and flirting weaved through the people that milled around her. Another friend of hers, Gumi, hugged her as soon as she saw her. The contact was distressing, but she accepted it. She had no need to shy away from her true friends.
People mixed up acquaintance and friend much too easily. Friends are those who you can talk to any time, share laughs with, and talk to without fear. But the acquaintances in her class… She wrinkled her nose. They had no right to talk to her as if she was a friend, hug her… She only wished Yuki got that. That girl constantly insisted on hugging her, and the closeness nearly suffocated Rin every time. Her bow drooped as she struggled to breathe, her eyes wide with panic.
She honestly wondered whether she should try to be more welcoming to her classmates… but then dismissed the idea with an empty scoff.
They should simply get the hint and leave her alone, that's all.
Hissing as a shiver wound its way down her back, she subconsciously found herself getting up off her black office chair and walking over to the wide window that stretched across the far side of her room. Moving aside the curtains with one brush of her hand, she stared dully down at the darkening ground, almost transfixed by the waving blades of grass.
I wonder what will happen if I jump… she thought emptily, no trace of emotion on her naturally pale face. She slowly, lazily washed her gaze across the garden. A few broken bones at the least… She felt a strange yearning toward that path on the ground…
Then, she seemed to snap out of the daze, and backed away, shuddering. A faint emotion that looked almost like fear swept through her deep blue eyes, and she felt her chest tighten. Feeling her lungs swell with terror, she gasped and tried to inhale more air, the life-giving oxygen swirling around her as she tried to slow her quick heartbeat.
Ha. How amusing. First her mind wanted her to die, and then wanted to strain for life. What a fickle being she was.
Slowly she made her way back to her chair, swaying from side to side. Pulling up her sleeves, she raked her nails across pale peach skin, watching blankly as pink, almost red lines appeared to mark it. Feeling a prickling, burning sensation sweep through the limb, she smirked, and let out a hollow laugh. Yes. This always calmed her urges… she could calm down about that window incident now.
Humming, she turned on her computer, immediately checking her Email. Seeing a good eighteen messages about new chapters to stories show up, she let a faint smile drift across her face. And KamiRisu was also online. As was KuroTenshi…
Her face dropped as she noticed that KamiRisu had logged off. Just wonderful. Then, her eyes flicked to her other contact.
They didn't really talk enough… Clicking on KuroTenshi's name link, she opened up the chat sidebar. "Hey, are you there?" she muttered aloud as she typed, eyes dancing with an almost happy light. Seeing her friend respond, she smiled; a genuine smile.
Ah, how nice it was to have an actual smile. Her façade made up too much of her grins…
Hearing her door creak open, she quickly minimized the page and whirled around in her chair, that momentary happiness gone. Her mom stood in the doorway, a bright smile on her face. Giving her a careless smile in return, Rin let out a seemingly happy purr. "Yes, mama?"
Her façade was all too convincing, even for herself… these phantom emotions she created annoyed her and confused her. And she hated being confused. It was like not knowing something.
"Do you want any food?" her mother asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Fruit." Was the blunt reply. For Rin, the static in the air was already too much. Just the other human's presence invading her personal bubble... it was hard to breathe.
"Anything else?" her mother pressed, and glanced at her curiously. Like she was trying to uncover something.
Ha. Fat chance of that.
"No, thank you," Rin hissed, a forced politeness mixing with her tone. Her mom nodded and shut the door, leaving the girl alone once more.
Sighing, Rin took out two clips from her desk's drawers; one a plain one, the other adorned with an orange ladybug. Snapping them into her hair, she smiled as the icy coldness of their metal touched her scalp.
Leaping into her bed, she curled up, closing her eyes. What a lovely, lovely world she lived in sometimes… her own world, one of pure emptiness and freedom…
Her own freedom.
If she ever had any other "freedom", like being forced outside on a warm day…
Well, she'd rather have wings.