Chapter 3:
It had been seventeen long hours since Sam had told Dean that he had once again done cocaine and the worst was beginning. At the beginning Sam was cold and sweaty, and after awhile he started complaining of stomach pains. Dean just sat there, knowing he couldn't do anything for Sam except let him ride it out, but the big brother in Dean was screaming for him to do something, anything to take away his little brothers pain, and then Sam started to cry, and the worst part of withdrawal started to happen, Sam started to beg.
"Please Dean… I just need a little bit…" Sam cried, and grabbed onto Dean's shirt. Dean just stared at the wall in front of him and ran his hand through Sam's sweaty matted hair.
"I can't Sammy, you will be okay." Sam pushed away from Dean.
"I know you still have it! Just give it to me!" Sam screamed.
"I don't have it Sam, I flushed it, you are just gonna have to ride it out." Sam screamed and hit Dean hard in the chest, before Dean wrapped his arms around him and held his arms to his sides. Sam bucked against his brother with all the strength he could muster.
"Dean! I need it! Please! Just once more." Dean held back his tears he just shushed his brother.
"It's going to be okay little brother, I promise, remember you came to me, you want to stop I am trying to help you." After awhile Sam stopped fighting and just started crying again.
"It hurts De…"
"I know." Sam hiccupped and put his hand over his mouth.
"Sick…" Dean grabbed the bucket he had put on the floor the night before and held it while Sam threw up the little bit of water and bile left in his stomach, and then dry heaved. Dean pushed Sam's sweaty bangs out of his face, and sighed. Why did his brother have to put himself through this again?
"There is nothing left in your stomach Sam, stop before you hurt yourself." Sam took a breath trying to control the dry heaving and then leaned back against Dean, to anyone else, two, twenty something guys laying in a bed, the younger one with his head on the older ones chest might have looked weird, but Dean didn't care, he was just taking care of his brother, the same as he had the last time Sam had gone through all this, and he prayed to whoever was listening that this would be the last time.
"Dean I'm sorry…"
"I know. You don't need to keep saying it."
"No I mean for everything… this, Stanford, all the trouble I caused." Dean tensed, not ready to talk about Stanford.
"Sammy, we can talk about this later okay? I'm not mad about any of it, not anymore. Right now I just want to get you better, so let me take care of you. " Sam looked up at Dean, with those same big eyes that Dean remembered on the five year old version of Sam.
"You've always take care of me De, nobody has ever cared as much as you do."
"I doubt that's true, I am sure Jess did." Sam tensed, and suddenly Dean wanted to take back what he had said, but the Sam smiled tiredly reminiscing about the times he was sick, and Jess took care of him, always doing her best to make him feel better.
"I loved Jessica, I always will, and she did everything she could to make me happy… but she could never replace what I left behind, she wasn't you, and I hate to admit it, but sometime a guy just needs his big brother." Dean swallowed a lump in his throat, all that time Sam had been at Stanford, Dean had just wanted his little brother back, and he couldn't stand the thought that maybe Sam didn't need him anymore, but now sitting here in this run down motel room with a sick withdrawing Sam, he realized that his little brother still wanted him around and he realized that in a lot of ways, Sam was still that same skinny doe eyed fifteen year old who used to come to Dean with all his problems.
"You are such a girl Sammy." Sam attempted to give Dean a bitch face, but his eyes were drooping shut. He winced in pain, as he felt sharpness in his stomach again.
"I'm not a girl." Sam slurred.
"Whatever you say kiddo, now try and get some sleep okay? You will feel better when you wake up." Sam laughed sadly.
"Liar." Dean smirked, and kept his hand in Sam's hair as he drifted off to sleep. He watched Sam sleep for a few minutes, content that just for a second he could pretend that Sam was sleeping peacefully instead of going through this awful drug withdrawal. Dean fell asleep soon after that but was woken up when his cell phone buzzed on the table. His left arm was falling asleep under Sam's weight, but he didn't have the heart to move his younger brother who finally seemed to be getting some decent sleep. So he just stretched over and grabbed the phone flipping it open. It was a text from an unknown number, but Dean knew who it was from. It was coordinates, and Dean sighed, sending a text message back.
Sorry Dad, pass it on to someone else, I gotta take care of Sammy.
After that Dean turned the cell phone off, he didn't know if his Dad would call or message him back, but he didn't want to know, the rest of the world would have to wait. The next time Dean woke up, Sam had rolled away from him, and was facing the opposite direction, so Dean stood up and went to the bathroom and changed his clothes. He made some motel coffee in the grungy coffee pot and sat down at the table with Sam's laptop and he turned his cellphone back on, there were no more messages from their Dad, but there was a missed call from a hunter named Josh, who Dean had known for years, so Dean dialed the number back.
"Turner." The rough voice on the other end said.
"Hey Josh, its Dean Winchester you called last night?"
"Yeah, your dad called me and gave me some coordinates to a hunt, he said you turned it down, are you alright? I have never known you to turn down a hunt in your life."
"Yeah Josh, I'm fine I just have something else to deal with right now, sorry it got dumped on you."
"It's fine kid, I don't mind… I heard Sam was with you, wasn't he off at some fancy college or something?" Dean looked over at Sam, who was still asleep on the bed, he was shaking slightly, and he definitely needed a shower.
"Yeah he was… but things don't always work out."
"Yeah, they never do in our line of work. You can't take the hunter out of the boy, have you ever known anyone who left the life?" Dean sighed.
"No… I guess I don't." He wished he did, he wished Sam was still safe at Stanford, but it just wasn't in the cards.
"Well, say hey for me, and keep in touch alright? I'll talk to you later kid."
"See you around Josh." Dean hung up the phone and flipped opened the laptop, researching freaky accidents just for something to do, but there was nothing going on in this town, and then Sam began to stir so Dean closed the laptop and went back over to Sam, who opened his eyes and looked at his brother.
"Dean?" Sam said and coughed.
"Welcome back to the world of the living." Dean said passing Sam a bottle of water. "Drink this." Sam grabbed the bottle with a shaky hand, sat up and took a sip.
"Thanks." Sam said quietly.
"How are you feeling?" Sam shrugged.
"Still shaky, but it doesn't hurt anymore."
"Good, hard parts almost over kiddo." Sam laughed and shook his head. "What?"
"This isn't the hard part Dean, the hard part is every single day after this feeling goes away, once this is over, trying not to fall into the same hole all over again, when every single part of your brain is telling you that you should, just one more time." Dean thought about that revelation, Sam and Dean had never really talked about it, Dean knew that Sam got urges, but he never thought about how hard same tried not to revert back to his old ways.
"Yeah well, we are just gonna have to go back to the way things were, just tell me when you are having…. cravings and we'll handle it." Sam eyed Dean suspiciously.
"Why are you being so calm about this? Aren't you angry?"
"I'm pissed, but you know how bad you screwed up, you don't need me to tell you that, so I am gonna help you fight this instead, and if you ever do it again, I am gonna kick your ass, because I can't sit through another detox with you."
"Okay Dean…"
"Alright, now two more things we have to do."
"Which are?" Dean took a little bag of white powder out of his pocket, and Sam's eyes widened, and he backed away from Dean. "You told me you flushed it."
"I lied, but it does need to be flushed, so flush it." Dean put it in Sam's hand and Sam looked at it longingly, but then looked back into his brothers eyes, Sam nodded his head, and threw the baggy in the toilet and quickly flushed it.
"Now what?" He asked. Dean just smiled, and put a hand on Sam's shoulder.
"Now you take a shower, cause you stink." Sam looked offended at first, but then laughed.
"Good plan. Thanks Dean."
"Don't thank me little brother, it's my job."