You guys are awesome, thanks for the reviews and welcome new comers.
Also I am so sorry for the extreme delay, I was hoping to do an update before I went out of the country for vacation but I just got so busy I didn't have a chance to update before I left.
I had someone leave a review that got me thinking and change direction slightly to thicken the plot, so thank you to Scoobfan93 for giving me this idea.
As you may have noticed in this chapter and the last one I started to date my flashbacks so that you're able to know when exactly those events took place. Once again, as a warning, there will be flashbacks in this chapter.
Ok this chapter will concentrate more on Olivia and Trevor and it picks up where we left off in chapter 1 at the Italian restaurant.
As always Read, Enjoy and Review.
Chapter 3: Lost
"Trevor," Olivia says softly as she set her hand on his shoulder.
Shaking his head a little he gave her a small smile, "Sorry, thanks for coming." Trevor says as he watched Olivia take a seat in front of him.
"What were you thinking about?" Olivia asked as she picked up the menu in front of her.
"Our wedding day," Trevor replies with a smile on his face as he took a sip of his wine. "You looked absolutely beautiful that day." Trevor added with a broader smile on his face. "I meant what I said earlier Liv, I miss you, I miss us."
Olivia gave him a small smile in return, "I miss us too." Olivia said before picking up her own glass of wine and taking a sip of it. "Thanks by the way," Olivia said as she nodded towards her glass.
Trevor nodded but before he could say anything else the waitress came to take their order. After the waitress left Trevor eyed Olivia for minute before speaking. "Why?"
Olivia looked up at Trevor, "Why, what?" Olivia asked playing dumb, knowing full well what he wanted to know.
Trevor sighed before shaking his head. "Why did you leave me? Why didn't you allow me to help you? Why run instead of staying and working together to get through it?" Trevor threw question after question at her, he was hurt and angry and he wanted answers.
Olivia licked her lips averting her eyes away from Trevor's. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't do it, I…everything was just too painful and I couldn't handle it." Olivia said as she tried to keep her tears at bay.
Trevor reached over grabbing her hand squeezing it, "You should've allowed me to help you, but instead you pushed me away…and… I allowed it." Trevor said in a defeated tone. "I thought if I gave you the space you needed to process everything, then when you were ready we would help each other but instead of you coming back I received divorce papers. You just gave up after you promised me that you would fight for us." Trevor watched as a couple of tears fell down her cheeks as their waitress bought them their food.
"I couldn't bear to look at you, because you reminded me of him." Olivia whispered as she wiped away the tears that escaped and fell down her cheeks.
Trevor swallowed hard at the revelation, giving her hand another squeeze, Trevor clear his throat, "Let's eat and then we can finish this conversation at my place." Trevor said, he knew they needed to have this conversation that was over five years late but it needed to be a private conversation. Trevor released Olivia's hand after receiving a nod of agreement and he started to eat.
They eat in relative silence as they were both absorbed in their own thoughts. Olivia's mind going back to the day her and Trevor found out that they were expecting their first child.
Flashback: April 1, 2010
Trevor stood in the kitchen as he finished searing two steaks before popping the pan in the oven to allow it to finish cooking before turning his attention to the mashed potatoes and broccoli when he heard the front door open and close. Trevor wiped his hands off with the dish towel before making his way towards the main room to greet his wife. "Hey babe," Trevor said as he walked over to Olivia giving her quick kiss.
"Hey, smells good," Olivia said as she set a bag down on the coffee table before moving to take her jacket off.
Trevor reached over helping in the process, taking the jacket and hanging it on the coat rack. "Is that what I think it is in the bag?" Trevor asked as he eyed the paper bag on the coffee table.
Olivia nodded, "Yup," Olivia replied her nerves clearly evident in her voice.
Trevor walked over to her taking her into his arms, "I have a good feeling about this Liv, and this time… it feels different than the others."
Olivia gave him a small smile, "I hope you're right, we've been trying to get pregnant for a while now and have come up empty every time."
Trevor kissed the top of her head, "I know, it's frustrating but we can't give up hope yet." Trevor pulled back looking his wife in the eyes that were brimming with tears. "Plus in the process we've had a lot of fun trying to make a mini you or a mini me." Trevor teased wiggling his eyebrows causing Olivia to laugh. "There's that laugh I love, how about you go up and take the test while I go finish dinner." Trevor suggested.
Olivia nodded, "Ok," Olivia moved to pick up the bag and started to make her way upstairs before turning around looking at Trevor. "I'm so glad I married you, who else would cook me dinner." Olivia said making Trevor laugh.
Trevor watched as his wife disappeared upstairs before turning to make his way back to the kitchen, praying that the test come back positive.
Trevor was moving around the kitchen as he was finishing up dinner when Olivia walked into the kitchen. She realize that he was so concentrated on dinner that he didn't notice that she had enter the kitchen so she leaned against the wall as her earlier comment came to mind as she watched her husband finish dinner. "You know, you look sexy cooking dinner." Olivia said with a knowing smirk.
Trevor turned around at his wife's remark, "It's that comment that made me burn dinner last time." Trevor said with a knowing look as he pulled the steaks out of the oven and sitting them on the stove.
Olivia closed her eyes as she breathed in the aroma of the steak, potatoes and broccoli before opening her eyes startled when she saw Trevor right in front of her. "With dinner smelling amazing, I think I'll eat first then maybe we can enjoy dessert afterwards." Olivia said with a twinkle in her eyes as she ran a hand up his chest. But before Trevor could make a reply Olivia held up the pregnancy test in her other hand. "We have to wait five minutes before we get the results."
Trevor nodded already knowing the drill, "Do you want to eat then check for the results or wait until after the results before we eat dinner?" Trevor asked.
Olivia thought about it for minute, "Is dinner ready or do you still have to finish some things?" Olivia asked as she glanced around the kitchen.
Trevor nodded, "Still waiting for the bread to finishing baking, by the time its finish we'll have the results." Trevor said thankful that he remembered the bread.
Olivia nodded, "Ok then, I'll set the table and grab a bottle of…" Olivia paused, she wanted to say wine but she didn't want to risk drinking wine if she was pregnant. "Bottle of sparkling juice," Olivia finally decided.
Trevor gave her a smile knowing exactly what she wanted to drink, but thinking like a loving mother decided to forgo her wine for sparkling juice for dinner for the sake of their child that was potentially growing within her. Trevor leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "I love you Liv." Trevor said before going to check on the bread.
Olivia moved to start setting the table trying to keep her mind off the little white stick that could either make her dream of becoming a mother come true or shatter it in less than five minutes. Being a mother would be the last piece in her life that would make it complete. Olivia nearly jumped when she felt Trevor's hand on her shoulder.
"You ok Liv," Trevor asked, concern laced in his voice.
Olivia nodded, "Yeah, sorry I spaced out a little." Olivia said before turning to place the last fork on the table.
Both Trevor and Olivia turned towards the main room when her alarm went off on her phone signaling that it was time to check the test. Trevor reached for Olivia's hand before they both made their way towards the living room both squeezing each other's hand to help with the nerves. When they approach the coffee table Olivia turned to Trevor, "You look, I'm too nervous." Olivia said as she glanced back down at the test. She couldn't understand why she was so nervous, she done this five times already over the past six months, maybe Trevor was right, maybe this was different, maybe within her there was a little life growing.
Trevor once again set a gentle hand Olivia's shoulder trying to get her attention, "Liv, did you hear me." Trevor said trying to suppress a chuckle.
Olivia shook her head, "Sorry, so…" Olivia said biting her lip trying to remember to breath.
A wide smile spread across his face as he held up a positive pregnancy test. "We're going to be parents." Trevor said as tears started to fill his eyes.
Olivia covered her mouth as she started to cry, "I'm going to be a mother." Olivia whispered
Trevor nodded in agreement, "Yes you are."
END OF FLASHBACK
After finishing dinner Olivia and Trevor had made their way towards his place, the drive there was filled with silence until Trevor let out a chuckle. Olivia glanced over at Trevor, "What's so funny." Olivia would never admit it to him but hearing him laugh warmed her heart, she missed his laugh.
"Veronica sent me like twenty text messages since I stepped into that restaurant." Trevor said glancing over at Olivia before turning back to the road.
Olivia laughed at that statement, "I see Veronica hasn't changed a bit." Olivia said as she thought about his sister who reminded her of Casey in so many ways. "How did she find out about our dinner tonight?"
"Um, she texted me earlier wanting to go out for dinner but I told her I was meeting you for dinner without thinking." Trevor said
Olivia nodded, "And now she's probably thinking that we're getting back together." Olivia said knowingly
"Yup," Trevor simply said as he pulled up at his place.
Olivia's eyes went wide, "Trevor, this is, this is…"
"Our old place, yeah, I never got rid of it, I made some changes in side but, I guess keeping the house gave me hope that one day we would finally find our back to each other." Trevor said staring at Olivia watching as tears fell down her face. Reaching over Trevor wiped the tears away with his thump, "Liv, look at me." Trevor pleaded
"I want to but every time I look at you I see him, he was slitting image of you and I couldn't bear it and the house was suppose be where he grew up and played and scraped his knee and yelled at us and said how much he hates us." Olivia choked out as she cried harder and harder. "I'm sorry ok, I'm sorry that I couldn't bear to look at you, I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough to stick it out, to try to make our marriage work…I'm sorry I killed our baby." Olivia whispered the last past before finally crying so hard she could barely breathe.
Trevor got out of the car and rushed over to Olivia's side of the car before opening the door and unbuckling her seatbelt and pulling her out as he embraced her. "Listen to me, You. Did. Not. Kill. Our. Son." Trevor said stressing each word. "Mason died from natural causes the doctors told us that, even Melinda agreed with the doctor. His death was not your fault." Trevor said firmly.
"I was supposed to protect him, keep him safe. I should've known something was wrong, I should've gone to the hospital sooner." Olivia hiccupped as she tried to calm down.
"Liv, the doctors said there was nothing you or anyone could've done. Sometimes babies just die in womb for no reason." Trevor said as he rubbed her back trying his best to comfort her. "You can't keep blaming yourself," Trevor said pulling back to look her in the face, "I don't blame you, no one blames you Olivia. The only one blaming you is yourself, and you know better." Trevor glanced towards the house, "I'm sorry I brought you here," Trevor sighed, "I wasn't thinking." Trevor added
Olivia shook her head, "No, I need to do this I have to face this sooner or later." Olivia took a deep breath as she looked at her old house, the house that Trevor and her were supposed to make as their home as they started their family together.
Trevor moved beside her and grabbed her hand giving it an encouraging squeeze, "I'm right here Liv." Trevor said wanting to provide as much support as possible.
Olivia squeezed Trevor's hand back as she started towards the house. She felt every step she made was her making one step closer to finally moving forward. It was at that moment that she was grateful that Trevor had showed up at the precinct that day. It was also at that moment having him there by her side that she was grateful that he never signed the divorce papers.
TBC….
Oh boy and the plot thicken.
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