The silence was awful. Each of them had always prayed for a little silence, finally some peace to relax or just do nothing, but right now it was suffocating. They had searched everywhere in the woods but they could never find Mikey. At first they didn't even worry about him, Mikey had stormed off numerous times back in New York, needing some time alone, but once they noticed he wasn't back in the morning they started to worry.
TMNT
"Mikey, you awake?" Donnie whispered and knocked on the door a few times. He felt so bad for his little brother, he never noticed how bad Mikey was suffering. Too caught up in his own world to notice it. Too selfish to care about his only little brother.
"Mikey?" Donnie asked again when he noticed Mikey wasn't answering him. Carefully he pushed the door open and looked inside but Mikey wasn't there. His bed was empty, his t-phone thrown carelessly on the floor and the lights were still out. He had never gone back to his room last night.
Donnie could feel his knees buckle under him. He had really done it, he was really gone, and it was his fault. It was his fault he never noticed how bad his little brother was suffering, he should've noticed, and right now he was gone.
Slowly Donnie stepped into the room and looked around. He was so stupid. He had been in this room so many times but never he noticed how empty and cold it was in here. The walls were empty, the room was clean, the room wasn't Mikey's.
Back in New York his room had always been colorful and creative. Mikey was the most creative of them, he was an awesome writer and drawer, and his room was always filled with posters, drawings and lots of colors. But this room was just empty, and it made Donnie realize how much Mikey had changed over these three months, changes he didn't notice.
His eyes fell on his desk, a simple wooden desk, nothing special about it, but what caught his attention was the book that was on it. Donnie immediately recognized it as Mikey's diary.
Donnie shivered as he walked over to it, he knew Mikey had a diary, and he also knew how private such a thing was. It held all his thoughts and experiences, and Donnie knew he shouldn't be looking at it, but right now he had to.
Even touching the diary felt so wrong but he pushed it aside and opened the diary anyways. . His eyes landed on the top of the page, a date, 2 months after they arrived at the farm house. When Leo still wasn't awake. And before he even knew, he was reading it.
'I miss him, all of them. I miss Sensei but I just know he's still alive. I mean he was the best ninja in the world, I just can't believe Shredder would kill him, but maybe I'm just being optimistic. Leo hasn't woken up too, I miss him too. Everything is just falling apart without him and Sensei.
Now sensei is gone we need a leader, or at least a father figure but we don't. Raph is only angry these days. In a way, he just trains every day, and when he doesn't train he is in the bathroom, watching over Leo.
Donnie isn't any better though. He is in the barn every day, trying to create a medicine for Leo, if he will ever wake up. He never has time for the rest of us, and just shuts me out every time I try to say something, or ask him to do something fun, he's always busy.
Even Casey and April aren't the same, they are all falling apart, I feel it, and there is nothing I can do. There is nothing I can do to make them happy, or believe that everything will be alright, I just can't, i mean, I can't even lie to myself, so how could I lie to them?'
Donnie squeezed his eyes shut as the tears began to roll down his face. Only reading this small part of the diary made him realize how awful he had been these last months. How alone Mikey must've felt, being pushed away by them, and having to grief over father and Leo alone.
'I don't know how long I will be able to continue like this, I smile every day but it gets harder and harder every day. It just can't get over this empty feeling. It feels so wrong not having Leo around, I miss him commanding us and stuff, and I miss father. I miss his voice, his long trainings, I even miss the punishments.
I just wish he was here again, alive. He would know what to do. My brothers just don't care, they are too caught up in their own world to notice me. I don't want to be a liability so I just smile, but the nightmares stay. Every night the same horrific one.
I can see father lying dead at my feet, and I re-live Leo's wounds every night. It's horrible. I was so relieved when Leo was finally healed, although he is still unconscious but it was bad.
Leo's shell was even cracked, something that had only happened once before, with Raph. Sure we had some injuries with our shells, like that time Tiger Claw beat me, but never a cracked shell. Which is very dangerous for us since our spine is connected to our shell.
But at nights I see him every time, every time I realize how bad he was back then. When he was attacked by the Shredder. His skin covered with cuts, bruises and blood and barely breathing. It is horrible, every night I wake up screaming, trashing, but no one notices.
I just hope Leo will wake up soon and we can go back to New York soon, avenge father and stop the Kraang and the Shredder. I just want my normal life back. Don't get me wrong, I love my brothers, and I would do anything for them, I just want them to feel the same about me.
Donnie closed the diary, it hurt to read it, to read about everything Mikey had been through. It only reminded him how bad they messed up. He couldn't stand reading it. He covered his face in his hands and allowed the tears to flow freely.
TMNT
"Hey Raph" Leo mumbled as he walked into the kitchen, walking over to the fridge to get some drinks. Raph looked up from his breakfast and frowned, looking over to Leo. He wasn't wearing his crutch anymore, ever since he had woken up he had problems with his knee, but right know that seemed to be gone.
"Where's yer crutch?" Raph asked as he took another bite of his breakfast. Leo looked towards Raph and then down to his leg, wiggling it slightly. He winced slightly, it was still sore but it didn't hurt anymore, not like it used to do.
"It doesn't hurt that much anymore" Leo whispered as he turned around ashamed. "I guess Mikey was right after all" he sighed after a short silence and bowed his head. Guilt flowing through him, his little brother. He was right after all, he was a horrible leader.
"We messed up didn't we?" Raph sighed and bowed his head too, picking his food slightly. Leo nodded and walked over to the table Raph was sitting at, taking a seat too and resting his head on his hands. Leo opened his mouth slightly, trying to find the right words.
"I guess we really did" Leo admitted and gritted his teeth. "I yelled at him Raph, how will he ever forgive me? I blew him off because Sensei is dead" Leo said ashamed and wiped away a single tear. He could still recall the tears that lingered in Mikey's eyes when he told him about father, the pain that was hidden in the blue orbs.
"He will Leo, you know how that kid is, besides I blew him off too" Raph said and awkwardly patted Leo's shoulder. The blue banded leader sighed and looked up to Raph. No matter how convincing Raph could be, he didn't believe him. He messed up, all of them these last three months, and the worst thing was, they didn't notice.
"That's the point Raph, I know how he is, and you know too. He has always been the most sensitive out of us. We all know how affected he can be with something, just imagine how much we hurt him by yelling at him" Leo spat back and bowed his head again. He didn't mean to snap at Raph, he was just so angry with himself, for yelling at Mikey like that.
"But we also know how easily he can forgive us, he isn't the one to hold a grudge for very long, he will come around" Raph said, more trying to convince himself than Leo, and grimaced when he saw Leo's shoulders beginning to shake. "Hey, don't cry fearless" Raph said and placed his hand on Leo's shoulder again.
"You know he won't, you saw the look in his eyes when I mentioned dad, you and I both know how much he looked up to him, we all did but he did it the most, and I basically told him father was dead." Came the muffled reply of Leo as his shoulders kept shaking.
"Don't cry Leo, okay?" Raph sighed, he wasn't good with calming someone down, he wasn't a very talkative person, never was. He never liked to talk or hug and right now he didn't know what to do. "Look, I'm goin' ta look where Donnie is with Mikey and after that we'll talk okay?"
Without waiting Raph stood up and left the kitchen, going up the staircase, hopefully Mikey wasn't mad at them for long, they messed up, he knew that. Raph just hoped Mikey wouldn't hold a grudge forever and they could make up to him.
"Yo Don, what's taking ya so long?" Raph exclaimed as he pushed open the door, only to stop right in his tracks. Donnie was sitting behind Mikey's desk, his face buried in his hands and obviously crying. The loud sobs escaping Donnie's throat could even be heard outside the room.
"Donnie, what's wrong? Where's Mikey?" Raph whispered, fear building up inside of him, seeing the empty bed of his little brother. It took a few seconds for Donnie to turn around. His eyes were blood-red and swollen, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"H-He's g-gone" Donnie sobbed and before he even knew Raph had wrapped his arms around him, pressing him close to his own body. "I-I did s-something horrible R-Raph. I-I..." He wanted to continue but was cut off by Raph.
"What do ya mean 'gone'?" Raph grimaced and stared Donnie in the eyes. Donnie just shook his head and closed his eyes, more tears streaming down his cheeks. "Donnie, where's Mikey?" Raph asked again, more persistent this time, it couldn't be right? He couldn't have done that.
"I-I think h-he ran... away" Donnie sobbed and buried his face in Raph's hold. "I'm s-so sorry, I d-didn't mean to" He sobbed, more speaking towards Mikey than to Raph. And when those words left Donnie's mouth it felt like everything had stopped around him.
Raph just stared wide-eyed. It felt like a knife had been jabbed through his heart. His little brother, running away. Out of everything that could happen, Mikey would never walk away, never in his life. But he did, and it was their fault.
"We're gonna find him, but we gotta go now" Raph said and helped Donnie with standing up. Donnie sniffled slightly and wiped his tears away. "We will find him Don" Raph assured him for the last time and walked out of Mikey's empty room. He would find his little brother, if it will be the last thing he'd do.
TMNT
One day had passed since Mikey had run away, since they had yelled at him. They had searched all day for him but in vain, he was nowhere. They went back once it turned dark to get flashlights so they could navigate better but April and Donnie stayed home.
More because Leo ordered them to, someone had to be home if Mikey would return himself and Leo, Casey and Raph went into the woods again. But how optimistic they could be sometimes, they knew the changes of him returning after a day was small, Mikey was gone and it was their fault.
"Where do you think he is?" April whispered and looked up to Donnie. The soup beneath her was almost boiling but she paid no attention to it, the only thing she saw was the defeated look on Donnie's face, his dried tears lingering on his cheeks.
"I have no idea" Donnie said and lowed the plates on the table, bowing his head again. "I just d-don't know" He whispered and quickly wiped away some new tears. He felt numb, empty inside without Mikey around him.
Sure, he had been without Mikey numerous times, when they went on a patrol and had to team up for example, but this time it felt different. Mikey wasn't just gone for a few hours, or patrolling with Leo or Raph, no, he was really gone this time, he had run away, because of them.
"We will find him, Leo, Casey and Raph are looking for him right now, I'm sure they will find him." April whispered and wrapped her arms around Donnie, holding him close to her own body. Donnie said nothing and just allowed April to comfort him.
"I just can't believe we didn't notice how he was feeling, he felt so lonely and all we did was ignore him" Donnie whispered in April's hold. April nodded, Donnie had told her everything about the diary. The red-haired teen could feel the tears staining her shirt but she didn't care.
"Neither of us did Donnie, you just have to talk to him once he's back" April said and rubbed Donnie's shell slightly. She could still recall everything Donnie had told her, how Mikey had felt these last 3 months, about his nightmares, and about sensei.
"If he ever comes back" Donnie mutters and sniffled slightly. April frowned and pulled out of the hug, staring Donnie in the eyes. They were still swollen but it was less than in the morning. Small tears were lingering in his eyes, waiting to fall, but April quickly wiped them away.
"They will find him Donnie, I'm sure they..." April started but was caught off when the door slammed shut and 3 figures came running in. April and Donnie immediately jumped up and ran towards the hall, only to see Leo, Raph and Casey panting and trying to catch their breaths.
"What happened?!" April yelled distressed and ran over to her friends. Casey was leaning against the door with a hand on his chest while Leo was leaning on Raph, both trying to catch their breaths. A few small scrapes and some dirt covering their skins.
"They... were coming... for Casey and you" Leo panted and looked up to April. "They wanted to 'free' us ... from the humans.. and we told them we ...were friends with you.. and they attacked us too" He practically hiccupped, trying to get a normal sentence out.
April frowned and raised an eyebrow. "Who are 'they'?" She asked as she steadied Casey, who was swaying slightly on his feet. There was a loud bang and seconds after the door was kicked in and mutant frogs stormed inside.
"These guys" Raph grunted and grabbed his sais. "I was tired of waiting anyways" He joked and jumped on top of the first mutant frog, kicking him away. More frogs entered and they soon engulfed Raph, making him unable to fight.
"Raph!" Donnie yelled when the frogs began to kick the red-banded turtle and wanted to jump in but was soon hit on his shell by one of the other frogs. "No you don't!" He screamed and hit the mutant with his bo-staff only to be jumped by two more frogs. He grunted as the frogs began to kick him too.
"Get away from him!" April yelled and jumped on top of the frog, kicking and punching him, trying to help Donnie but she was quickly over-powered and dragged out of the house. The frogs weren't skilled, nor fast but they were with more and the turtles were sound outnumbered and down on the ground, helplessly watching April and Casey getting dragged away.