'Gender Neutral'
Akane twitched, and twitched again. With a shuddering sigh, she willed herself calm; an attempt that was once again unsuccessful. She closed her eyes, attempting to meditate on her way to school; she was a peace, nothing could disturb her, nothing could touch her, she was the cal-
"WOULD YOU STOP THE DAMN WHISTLING?!?" Akane finally screamed, looking up at the pigtailed... um... individual walking upon the fence with it's hamds behind its head, whistling without a care in the world.
"Geez, excuuuse me!" Ranma replied,, glancing down cooly at the girl below, "Really, you've been uptight since the old ghoul told us we'ld have to wait until she found something out."
"RANMA, WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE LACKING, AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS?!?"
Ranma shrugged, tossing his head so the strands of his black bangs swayed, "Well, if you got any ideas what to do in the meantime, we're waiting to hear them."
Akane was busy making a mental note to herself to buy a sock, sewing needles, and stitch suter to 'rectify' the problem, leaving Ranma believing in his... her... whatever's small victory by her silence. Ranma's mental celebration was ceased by the introduction of liquids in lower temperatures.
"Great, I swear I'm the gods' whipping boy."
"BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BOY!"
Ranma's eyes rolled, "Akane, maybe you should calm down, alright?"
"I... I... I just can't deal with this," Akane finally said, feeling a nervous breakdown coming on.
"Akane? Hey, Akane, wait up!" Ranma jogged on the fence to catch up with Akane, who suddenly sped up when her fiance got within her proximity. Blinking, Ranma just ran faster, only to have Akane speed up again, "Come on, Akane, at least TRY to be mature about this!"
At that, Akane broke out into a mad dash, glancing back fleetingly before bursting into top gear. At the sudden look of panic in her face, Ranma's concern grew. It didn't take the pigtailed martial artist long to catch up with her. Just as Akane was about to rush through the school gates, Ranma landed in front of her. "Akane? Now what's wrong with you?"
"WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG?!? MY FIANCE MIDSECTION IS A GREAT PLAIN, AND YOU ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG? TAKE A GOOD DAMNED LOOK AT YOURSELF!" Akane shouted, as that panicked expression, now recognized as growing madness, swelled within her eyes.
"Damn it, Akane, that's getting pretty old..." Ranma grumbled, about to bend over to pick up the pants about the pigtailed martial artist's ankles, just before a high pitched, feminine scream of utter terror startled both Akane out of her enveloping insanity, and Ranma's irritation. "Huh? Wha?"
Both looked around rapidly, trying to locate the source of the scream; it ws a martial artist's duty to help those in trouble, after all. The majority of the students had entered the school at the first bell, leaving only Akane, Ranma, and Kuno.
Looking at Akane first, Ranma then turned to Kuno, who had been standing silently and stoically, "Yo Kuno, you see who that-"
Ranma jumped at Kuno's piercing, girlish shrill of teror. Blinking t the reaction, Ranma causiously waddled to Kuno, causing him to scream again. After a few steps, Ranma realized what was hindering her/his/whatever's movement. "Ah, sorry for flash'n ya," Ranma apologised, starting to pull the pants back up.
"PIGTAILED GIRL HOW... WHA... IT...IT..." The kendoist screeched, pointing hysterically at Ranma's crotch.
The pigtailed martial artist scratched the back of its head, chuckling nervously, "That? Ah... heh heh... it's nothing, really."
"It... IT'S THAT FOUL SORCEROR'S DOING, IS IT NOT?" Kuno quickly rationalized in order to save his already frayed sanity, "FEAR NOT, FOR THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH SHALL WORK THRICEFOLD TO RECTIFY THIS UTTER TRAVESTY BY ULTIMATE SADISM!!!" Kuno leveled his bokken at the pigtailed redhead, "know this, Saotome's depravity ends once he is again in my sights. For his disfigurment of you, Kuno shall claim an eye for an eye!"
Ranma finished upending the thermos over its head, and flashed the front of his crotch, "Sorry Kuno, someone beat you to it." Ranma then found himself rather relishing the kendoist's hysterical screams.
"he... he just keeps doing it, he won't stop, h-he just won't..." Akane sobbed, huddled against the surrounding wall of the school, ignoring all around her and lost in her mumbled rants.
Ranma drenched itself with cold water again, "Whatzamatter, Kuno? Don't you love your Pigtailed GODDESS anymore?" Ranma's pants dropped to thigh length, earning even louder wails from Kuno, in turn inciting Akane to loud moaning.
Ranma was now grinning ear to ear, as the redhead watched Kuno crying while in a fetal position; this was just too good an opportunity to pass up, "Kuno-love, why don't you embrace your pigtailed Goddess? The power of our love will overcome all!!!" As soon as Ranma made a move for the Kendoist, Kuno was immidiately scrambling to escape. Not wanting any of the entertainment to get away, Ranma went in pursuit, gyrating its hips, "WAIT FOR ME! SWEETUMS!!!"
"I hear you be a bad boy, keiki," Principle Kuno admonished, grinning at the pigtailed individual before his desk, "Bot' lil' Tate an 'Kane be ready fo' de funny farm, an' I be know'n you responsible fo' dis. Hinako say'n she find you chas'n m' boy around and giv'n him de fear of hells. Youuuu gonna get reeeaaaallllly punished fo' dis!"
"Hey! I don't know what Akane's deal is, but that jerk had it coming to him!" Ranma defended.
"How Akane have it com'n to her?" Principle Kuno asked.
"No, the other jerk!"
"Oh... well dat beside de point." The elder Kuno was now brandishing barber sheers, a styling comb, and styling mousse, "Now, before we begin wit' de School regulation mullet wit' de neon highlights, tell me what you do to Tate' and 'Kane?"
Ranma sighed, "Well, it's kinda a long story, but the short of it is..." Ranma stood up, and dropped his pants, "This kinda happened not too long ago, and it's freaking people out."
The Principle stared for the longest time, still wearing his cheesy grin, before it fell from his face as he put down his hair styling equipment gently on his desk. Removing his glasses, the eldest Kuno set them down, and began to massage his temples, "Saotome... go home."
Ranma blinked, "Uh, what happened to your accent?"
"Just... go home for today. Stay home for the rest of the week. In fact, don't come back until your 'condition' is rectified."
"What? I'm being expelled?"
"No, just leave... here..." Kuno swirved his chair around to the file cabinet, where he kept certain individual's school records on hand, "Take these with you."
"Ah... my school records?" Ranma looked at the thick folder in confusion, what's this-"
"Go. Now."
"Alright, alright, sheesh!" Ranma stood up, and left the office, "Geez, though this ain't my fault!"
Kuno continued to rub his forehead until Ranma was long gone, and picked up the phone, "Ms. Shibata? I'm going back to Hawaii. Inform the staff for me later, please." After hanging up the phone, the principle sighed, took out a briefcase, and began to pack what few personal belongings he kept with him at the school.
"Stupid principle expelling me because the jerks overblow'n this outta proportion. Sheesh,they're act'n like it was a public monument that had been demolished or somet'n," Ranma grumbled, stepping into the Tendou home and removing his shoes, "I'm home!"
"Ranma! What is the meaning of this!" Soun demanded, immidiately before the startled pigtailed martial artist's face.
"Yes, boy, you have a lot to answer for!"
"Great, now I gotta deal with you two," Ranma drolled, finding the mood dropping faster and faster through the day.
"First I find Kasumi tied to her bed with a note from Nabiki saying not to untie her until Ranma's 'fixed'. Then I recieve a call from the school counsoler stating that she had referred Akane over to the psychiatric ward for fourty-eight hour observation, and then they tell me that you are not to come back to school until you have delt with 'personal issues'!"
"What are these 'issues' you're having, boy?" Genma demanded, "You're not becoming more like a girl, are you?" Genma's eyes wandered south, checking Ranma's midsection for any peculiar blood stains.
"Na, everyone's just going loopy because I found what I thought was a cure, and-"
"You've found a cure?"
Ranma turned towards the motherly woman who had just strolled in from the kitchen, "Is it true? My son shall now be a whole man?"
"Eh..." Ranma chuckled nervously, "Lemme finish the story, befoe you get your hopes up, alright...?"
Akane twitched, and twitched again. With a shuddering sigh, she willed herself calm; an attempt that was once again unsuccessful. She closed her eyes, attempting to meditate on her way to school; she was a peace, nothing could disturb her, nothing could touch her, she was the cal-
"WOULD YOU STOP THE DAMN WHISTLING?!?" Akane finally screamed, looking up at the pigtailed... um... individual walking upon the fence with it's hamds behind its head, whistling without a care in the world.
"Geez, excuuuse me!" Ranma replied,, glancing down cooly at the girl below, "Really, you've been uptight since the old ghoul told us we'ld have to wait until she found something out."
"RANMA, WHAT THE SEVEN HELLS IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE LACKING, AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS?!?"
Ranma shrugged, tossing his head so the strands of his black bangs swayed, "Well, if you got any ideas what to do in the meantime, we're waiting to hear them."
Akane was busy making a mental note to herself to buy a sock, sewing needles, and stitch suter to 'rectify' the problem, leaving Ranma believing in his... her... whatever's small victory by her silence. Ranma's mental celebration was ceased by the introduction of liquids in lower temperatures.
"Great, I swear I'm the gods' whipping boy."
"BUT YOU'RE NOT EVEN A BOY!"
Ranma's eyes rolled, "Akane, maybe you should calm down, alright?"
"I... I... I just can't deal with this," Akane finally said, feeling a nervous breakdown coming on.
"Akane? Hey, Akane, wait up!" Ranma jogged on the fence to catch up with Akane, who suddenly sped up when her fiance got within her proximity. Blinking, Ranma just ran faster, only to have Akane speed up again, "Come on, Akane, at least TRY to be mature about this!"
At that, Akane broke out into a mad dash, glancing back fleetingly before bursting into top gear. At the sudden look of panic in her face, Ranma's concern grew. It didn't take the pigtailed martial artist long to catch up with her. Just as Akane was about to rush through the school gates, Ranma landed in front of her. "Akane? Now what's wrong with you?"
"WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT'S WRONG?!? MY FIANCE MIDSECTION IS A GREAT PLAIN, AND YOU ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG? TAKE A GOOD DAMNED LOOK AT YOURSELF!" Akane shouted, as that panicked expression, now recognized as growing madness, swelled within her eyes.
"Damn it, Akane, that's getting pretty old..." Ranma grumbled, about to bend over to pick up the pants about the pigtailed martial artist's ankles, just before a high pitched, feminine scream of utter terror startled both Akane out of her enveloping insanity, and Ranma's irritation. "Huh? Wha?"
Both looked around rapidly, trying to locate the source of the scream; it ws a martial artist's duty to help those in trouble, after all. The majority of the students had entered the school at the first bell, leaving only Akane, Ranma, and Kuno.
Looking at Akane first, Ranma then turned to Kuno, who had been standing silently and stoically, "Yo Kuno, you see who that-"
Ranma jumped at Kuno's piercing, girlish shrill of teror. Blinking t the reaction, Ranma causiously waddled to Kuno, causing him to scream again. After a few steps, Ranma realized what was hindering her/his/whatever's movement. "Ah, sorry for flash'n ya," Ranma apologised, starting to pull the pants back up.
"PIGTAILED GIRL HOW... WHA... IT...IT..." The kendoist screeched, pointing hysterically at Ranma's crotch.
The pigtailed martial artist scratched the back of its head, chuckling nervously, "That? Ah... heh heh... it's nothing, really."
"It... IT'S THAT FOUL SORCEROR'S DOING, IS IT NOT?" Kuno quickly rationalized in order to save his already frayed sanity, "FEAR NOT, FOR THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH SHALL WORK THRICEFOLD TO RECTIFY THIS UTTER TRAVESTY BY ULTIMATE SADISM!!!" Kuno leveled his bokken at the pigtailed redhead, "know this, Saotome's depravity ends once he is again in my sights. For his disfigurment of you, Kuno shall claim an eye for an eye!"
Ranma finished upending the thermos over its head, and flashed the front of his crotch, "Sorry Kuno, someone beat you to it." Ranma then found himself rather relishing the kendoist's hysterical screams.
"he... he just keeps doing it, he won't stop, h-he just won't..." Akane sobbed, huddled against the surrounding wall of the school, ignoring all around her and lost in her mumbled rants.
Ranma drenched itself with cold water again, "Whatzamatter, Kuno? Don't you love your Pigtailed GODDESS anymore?" Ranma's pants dropped to thigh length, earning even louder wails from Kuno, in turn inciting Akane to loud moaning.
Ranma was now grinning ear to ear, as the redhead watched Kuno crying while in a fetal position; this was just too good an opportunity to pass up, "Kuno-love, why don't you embrace your pigtailed Goddess? The power of our love will overcome all!!!" As soon as Ranma made a move for the Kendoist, Kuno was immidiately scrambling to escape. Not wanting any of the entertainment to get away, Ranma went in pursuit, gyrating its hips, "WAIT FOR ME! SWEETUMS!!!"
"I hear you be a bad boy, keiki," Principle Kuno admonished, grinning at the pigtailed individual before his desk, "Bot' lil' Tate an 'Kane be ready fo' de funny farm, an' I be know'n you responsible fo' dis. Hinako say'n she find you chas'n m' boy around and giv'n him de fear of hells. Youuuu gonna get reeeaaaallllly punished fo' dis!"
"Hey! I don't know what Akane's deal is, but that jerk had it coming to him!" Ranma defended.
"How Akane have it com'n to her?" Principle Kuno asked.
"No, the other jerk!"
"Oh... well dat beside de point." The elder Kuno was now brandishing barber sheers, a styling comb, and styling mousse, "Now, before we begin wit' de School regulation mullet wit' de neon highlights, tell me what you do to Tate' and 'Kane?"
Ranma sighed, "Well, it's kinda a long story, but the short of it is..." Ranma stood up, and dropped his pants, "This kinda happened not too long ago, and it's freaking people out."
The Principle stared for the longest time, still wearing his cheesy grin, before it fell from his face as he put down his hair styling equipment gently on his desk. Removing his glasses, the eldest Kuno set them down, and began to massage his temples, "Saotome... go home."
Ranma blinked, "Uh, what happened to your accent?"
"Just... go home for today. Stay home for the rest of the week. In fact, don't come back until your 'condition' is rectified."
"What? I'm being expelled?"
"No, just leave... here..." Kuno swirved his chair around to the file cabinet, where he kept certain individual's school records on hand, "Take these with you."
"Ah... my school records?" Ranma looked at the thick folder in confusion, what's this-"
"Go. Now."
"Alright, alright, sheesh!" Ranma stood up, and left the office, "Geez, though this ain't my fault!"
Kuno continued to rub his forehead until Ranma was long gone, and picked up the phone, "Ms. Shibata? I'm going back to Hawaii. Inform the staff for me later, please." After hanging up the phone, the principle sighed, took out a briefcase, and began to pack what few personal belongings he kept with him at the school.
"Stupid principle expelling me because the jerks overblow'n this outta proportion. Sheesh,they're act'n like it was a public monument that had been demolished or somet'n," Ranma grumbled, stepping into the Tendou home and removing his shoes, "I'm home!"
"Ranma! What is the meaning of this!" Soun demanded, immidiately before the startled pigtailed martial artist's face.
"Yes, boy, you have a lot to answer for!"
"Great, now I gotta deal with you two," Ranma drolled, finding the mood dropping faster and faster through the day.
"First I find Kasumi tied to her bed with a note from Nabiki saying not to untie her until Ranma's 'fixed'. Then I recieve a call from the school counsoler stating that she had referred Akane over to the psychiatric ward for fourty-eight hour observation, and then they tell me that you are not to come back to school until you have delt with 'personal issues'!"
"What are these 'issues' you're having, boy?" Genma demanded, "You're not becoming more like a girl, are you?" Genma's eyes wandered south, checking Ranma's midsection for any peculiar blood stains.
"Na, everyone's just going loopy because I found what I thought was a cure, and-"
"You've found a cure?"
Ranma turned towards the motherly woman who had just strolled in from the kitchen, "Is it true? My son shall now be a whole man?"
"Eh..." Ranma chuckled nervously, "Lemme finish the story, befoe you get your hopes up, alright...?"