AN: So this is the longest chapter I have ever written. I hope you enjoy it. This is all from Alexis' view of things. We're going to go current with the next chapter and probably just stick with the 3rd person from then on. It depends on what my crazy brain wants to do... it's a scary place.

Oh, btw, there was a glitch in the last note. The title is from the Frames song - Rise, that was used in Knockdown at the end. I don't know how that got deleted.

I also want to say that your reviews are AMAZING and I love you all. If I could reply to you all, I would but I think you would want me to be working on the story in my limited free time instead, eh?

Please keep reviewing, it's like crack for me.

Don't own it!

Chapter 3 – Confusion

Alexis Castle didn't know Roy Montgomery all that well. She had met and spoke with him a few times, sure, but she knew him more through her father's words than anything else. She could tell that her father had been quite fond of the man. He spoke about the Captain with respect and reverie. She had never heard a single bad, or even negative, things about the man.

When her father had walked into the loft in the wee hours of the morning two days ago she knew something was terribly wrong. Her immediate thought had been to ask about Detective Beckett but, after a flicker of pain across her father's face, he assured her that Beckett was fine. She knew there was more weight to his "fine" than he was willing to share, so she didn't push him.

He went on to tell her that the beloved Captain Montgomery was killed in action but gave no details or explanations. There was something in her Dad's demeanor- his voice- that had changed as he spoke of the late Roy Montgomery from then on. His voice still held the respect and reverie but the complete admiration that he had once had was diminished. He assured her that she was mistaken – that it was just grief – but she knew better. There was something else; something he wouldn't share and she could always read her father like one of his books. He was an awful liar when it came to her.

Over the next thirty-six hours that followed, Alexis watched her father falter more than he ever had. She would catch him staring at nothing. She would catch him sitting in the darkness of the loft, wide-awake, when he should be sleeping. When she finally did get him to sleep, he woke up screaming Detective Beckett's name and, apologizing profusely. She woke him gently and cuddle with him as he shook. He didn't speak much after his dream, he just held onto her, stroking her hair, assuring her that he was okay; that they all were. She was concerned and confused but she knew he didn't need her asking questions, so, she didn't; she just held him back, telling him that she knew. The next day she woke up to a bright sunny day and extracted herself from her father's embrace to get ready.

Alexis Castle wore black fairly often. She needed to for her violin recitals and orchestra concerts but on occasions like this one, she hated the shade. While the concert black had the purpose of taking the focus off of the performer and emphasizing the music, the black on this day was putting the emphasis on the fact that someone was dead.

She put herself into a black dress and added modest make-up to her face. She descended the stairs and looked down to see her grandmother and father conversing quietly. Her father managed a small smile for her and asked if she was hungry. When she declined to eat, he just nodded, understanding.

"I have a car coming for us." He stated. "They should be downstairs any moment."

They all filed out, Martha leading, her father guiding her with a hand on her back. When they reached the cemetery, it was shocking to see the sea of black and dress-blue police uniforms. They exited the car and her dad suggested that they sit with Lanie and Jim Beckett. He gave her a kiss on her temple as he hugged her to him and he thanked her, again, for being here. She gave him a small smile and nodded towards Detective Beckett, who nodded back, before walking towards the seating area. Her Dad was a pallbearer and was asked to say a few words, being a writer and all.

When she reached her seat and looked across the field, she landed on the forms of Esposito, Ryan, and Beckett talking quietly with her father. She barely recognized Kate Beckett. She was dressed in her police uniform, something Alexis had never seen, and she was carrying herself slightly different. To Alexis, Beckett always looked like an arrow ready to fire. She stood straight and strong and always carried herself as the strong woman that she was. Today, however, Detective Beckett's posture was loose and screamed exhaustion. She almost looked deflated; defeated by what, Alexis couldn't guess, but she was willing to bet her father knew. She watched as the hearse that carried the Captain's body pulled up and she could see Beckett steel up and become the fearless presence that she always personified.

Next to her, Lanie reached out and grabbed her hand. Time kept moving so quickly after she watched the team place the casket down and her brain couldn't quite keep up. She saw Mrs. Montgomery and her children being presented with the flag and she couldn't imagine what they were feeling. She couldn't fathom the emotions that would come with losing her father and she hoped she would never have to.

She glanced over to Detective Beckett and watched as her façade cracked and the woman had to look away from the Montgomery family. Beckett knew all too well what those girls were feeling and Alexis was sure it was like picking at old wounds seeing this.

The service continued on and the eulogies were next. Beckett stepped up to the pulpit first and her father stood off to the detective's right side.

Listening to Beckett's voice speak about her mentor sent a choking burn through Alexis's throat. Tears burned her eyes as she looked on at the detective. Her light blue eyes hurt from the brilliant sunshine but still she stared, transfixed.

She watched a look pass between the detective and her father even though their faces both remained stoic. She then found herself observing her Dad after Beckett broke their eye-contact to continue her eulogy. She saw her Dad's eyes flicker towards something in the distance and watched as his brow furrowed and crinkled in the middle.

He seemed to have a moment of epiphany and his head snapped in Beckett's direction. She was confused as she heard her Father scream for the Detective as a loud bang pierced the air and echoed through the tombstones.

Alexis had been unlucky enough to be looking at Kate's face at the time. She saw the dark-haired woman gasp and flinch before she was pulled down behind the chairs and covered by her grandmother. The last thing she was able to glimpse was her father lunging toward the podium.

People were screaming. Lanie was trying to wrench herself out of her boyfriend's grasp to get to her fallen best friend. Jim Beckett was apparently also being grasped by Martha Rogers because she could hear him trying to get her to let go of his arm. The police officers were scrambling to locate the shooter and Ryan was shouting that Beckett was down and had been hit. It was utter chaos. The problem was, no one knew how bad she was hit.

Alexis didn't know how she knew, but she knew her Dad had not been hurt. Maybe it was because she was pretty sure she saw Kate take the hit, or maybe it was wishful thinking, but she just knew. She needed to get to him, thought, and fast. With Beckett down, she knew that her Dad would be a mess. She had no doubt that her father was completely in love with Katherine Beckett.

Lanie had convinced Esposito to let her go; that she had the medical training Kate needed to survive. They both set out crawling off in the direction of the podium, heads low. She needed to go too, Alexis decided. She needed to be there for her Dad.

Without further adieu, she ripped free of her grandmother, despite protests, and ran in a crouch the short distance to her father's side. She heard both her Gram and Jim Beckett call after her, but she didn't stop moving until she reached her Dad's side.

She watched for a second as he painfully jerked while he was dry-heaving. She had a flashback to falling off the monkey-bars at Central Park as a child. She had the wind completely knocked from her tiny body and she was on her hands and knees trying, desperately, to recover. In a split second, her Dad was in her vision, laying a hand on her tiny chin, forcing her to look into his eyes.

"Breathe, Alexis." He had said, gently. When she did, she felt the world right itself again, instantly.

Alexis grabbed his chin in her palm and repeated his words to him from years before. She saw the clarity return to his eyes, along with something else… guilt?

She felt her Gram settle next to her as he gazed at them. Gram moved to wipe the flowing tears from his cheeks. In that moment, she realized that she had never seen her father cry before.

"Kate." He choked. "Kate…"

"They're helping her, Dad." She whispered back.

In all truth, she couldn't bear to look over there. Detective Beckett was as close to a hero and role model as Alexis had ever had. She couldn't watch as her hero proved to be more human than she could have ever possibly imagined.

She watched on as her father broke down and tried to get to his detective; the woman he loved. He begged his mother to let him go to her, but he didn't win. He was yelling her name brokenly and Alexis began to weep. How could this happen?

She watched her father collapse on shaking limbs as they took Beckett away and she placed her hands on his arm on shoulder. She wanted to assure him that Kate would be okay, but she couldn't find her voice behind her thick tears.

He spoke to his mother with such despair that her heart broke for her Dad. She took out her cell phone and called for the car to come and get them. Her Dad needed to get to wherever Kate Beckett was and Alexis Castle would make sure of that. As she disconnected, she finally realized the gravity of the situation.

Kate Beckett was shot. Kate Beckett could die… and nothing would ever be the same again.

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