And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary
I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

So Sick – Ne-Yo

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight

EPOV

It was a perfectly nice summer evening. The sun was about to set and from my window, I could see the sky turn a beautiful rainbow of colours. From my room, I could also see the beach and I watched the water burn a magnificent gold colour as it caught the dying rays of the sun. I was sitting in my room, listening to my IPod at full volume, doing my best to block out the rest of the world. I was tired and school was starting in one week and as always, I was trying out for the basketball team. I didn't even know why I even bothered. I was the entire team anyway; they didn't stand a chance to win without me and the coach knew that. But it was required and so I had to do it. They were rules and apparently they had to be followed.

Even though it should have been impossible for me to hear anything with my earphones in, I still heard it. My sister's scream travelled up three sets of stairs and into my room. It wasn't her horrific scream either; the one that said that something bad had happened to someone. No, it was her excited scream. They scream she screams when there's a new designer line coming out or there's a sale at Victoria's Secret or something. She was excited no doubt.

I assumed that it was one of those occasions. But boy was I ever wrong.

I decided to go downstairs and check out the damage for myself. And also to make sure that she will not be buying me anything from this totally awesome fall line by some designer I had never heard of.

Alice, my sister, is hyper active 24/7, like an energizer bunny. She was only 4'10 but if she got angry she had the ability to take out the entire US army. You know right after she made them new camouflage. She is really annoying sometimes but I still loved her. Alice was my sister and my best friend, since my real best friend decided to pull one over me and move to London, England.

When I got downstairs, my mother and Alice were chatting excitedly in the living room. God, I hoped my grandmother wasn't coming over to stay with us. She was like the older version of Alice because when she had been young, she was exactly like Alice. When Grandma was around, it was shopping time every day, all day. It was brutal.

"Please, tell me you guys are not planning another shopping trip, already. You guys just finished your fall shopping," I said. I had to come up with a good excuse of why I couldn't go with them. I was tired so my voice came out weak.

"Oh, Edward, sweetheart, you sound sick. Are you alright?" Mom asked. She came over to me and put her hand on my forehead to check my temperature. My mother had a heart-shaped face, and soft caramel colored hair. She was small and slender. She was also strong for someone her size. (AN: the descriptions for Esme is taken directly from twilight to get it right, please do not sue.)

"I'm fine, just a little tired," I said. I sat down on the couch and Mom sat down beside me.

"We are not planning another shopping trip," Alice pointed out. Alice reached over and put her hand on my arm. Her hazel eyes sparkled with excitement.

"I know something that will make you jump up and down with excitement," Alice said bouncing on the couch. I highly doubted that but I still asked her what it was.

"What?" I asked, impatiently. I reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her bouncing. She was giving me a headache and I was not in a mood to be getting any exciting news. I was not in an excited mood and whatever she told me was not going to affect me.

"They're coming back," Alice sang. She started to bounce again and I shot her a glare.

"Who's coming back?" I asked in an acidic voice. Even though I knew to answer to that I still asked her the question because I was hoping that somehow it wouldn't be true. No, not hoping, praying that it wouldn't be true. I didn't want it. Not after seven years.

"The Swan's," Alice yelled in my ear. She was expecting me to be happy about it and my serious face made her grimace. She should have known better than to think that I was going to be happy about her moving back here.

"Honey, what's wrong, aren't you happy? I thought Bella was your best friend," Esme said. I winced at her name. Esme sat down next to me and looked at me intently. Her green eyes were full of worry.

"Was," I said. "She was my best friend until she decided that I didn't matter to her and she left with her family to go live in London."

I was angry and there was no hiding it. If Bella thought that she could barge back in here and expect everything to be the same, she was in for a surprise. I wasn't forgiving her so easily, if at all. What she did was unforgivable. I trusted her more than anyone. I loved her more than anyone and she left me. I ground my teeth together at the thought of her.

Esme sighed. "Edward, you know she didn't have a choice. She was ten years old. You're being unreasonable."

"You make her sound so helpless. I think we all know that when Bella wants something, she gets it because she is extremely stubborn. Then why did she leave, huh? Why did she leave when she promised that she will stay with me for as long as I want?" I asked. I stood up in anger.

"Edward, you can't stay mad at her forever," Alice protested.

"I've had enough of this," I said. I went upstairs to my room, no longer wanting to talk about Bella. Obviously, my mother and sister were taking her side in this. Why didn't anyone see my side of the story? Bella got to leave and have a new start while I had to stay here.

When I got to my room, I slammed the door shut and walked straight to my CD player. I turned it on and turned the volume to full to block out everything. I didn't need the reminders. I went to lie down on the bed and hoped that her memories wouldn't come back but it was too late. They were here and they were persistent.

I remembered Bella and me lying down in our adjoining backyards and looking up at the starry sky.

I remembered Bella reading a book to me because she knew that I would never do it on my own.

I remembered us trying to bake a cake and making a mess in my kitchen and Esme making us clean it all up.

I got up from my bed and looked around the room. It wasn't exactly messy but there clothes lying here and there. There was a big glass wall and right across from it was my 'music centre' as I liked to call it. It was a wall with rows and rows of CD's and my extremely expensive CD player. I didn't like anyone coming in here. It bothered me when my things weren't in the places I had left them.

But my attention immediately went back to the glass wall. It gave me a clear view into her room. It was right across from my room and when we were kids and couldn't fall asleep, we used to get out our writing pads and talk to each other that way. It used to be so much fun and we used to stay up half the night just talking and writing.

Despite myself, I smiled.

My phone started ringing and startled, I dropped the remote for the CD player that I was holding in my hand. I reached over to grab my phone and brought it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, baby," a chirpy, babyish voice answered.

"Tanya, don't you have a family dinner to attend?" I asked. I sighed. Sometimes, it was really hard to understand what Tanya wanted. I didn't want to talk to her right now because I was busy thinking about Bella. It bothered me that whenever I thought about Bella, I wanted nothing to do with the rest of the world.

"Oh, don't worry about it. I just wanted to ask you if you were free and wanted to hang out. The basketball team is going to be at our usual hangout," Tanya said. I looked into the other room again.

"Sure, it's not like I have anything better to do," I said and hung up. Of course I didn't want to go and hangout with the team but I was not going to stay home and sulk. Bella wasn't going to leave my head anytime soon, so there was no point in stopping my life for her.

I grabbed my jacket and left the house banging the door shut behind me. I didn't bother telling Esme where I was going or when I will be back. I think she understood somewhat that I needed some time away from the house. And the only place I really ever went to was to hang out with the team.

I stopped to admire my silver Volvo; it had personality.

When I got to the hangout, which was really a beach surrounded by the forest, I felt something hard collide against me. It was Tanya and she was clearly drunk. I could smell the alcohol on her. But like always, I didn't say a word, she was my girlfriend and my only way to not think about Bella.

Tanya was beautiful. She had strawberry blonde hair, and a slight figure. A total made for cheerleader body. But the truth remained that I was using her as an outlet for my pent up frustration. And she was nothing compared to Bella. I couldn't help but wonder what Bella would look like now. Tanya placed her mouth against mine and I kissed her back, roughly I might add. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and I could taste the alcohol. God only knew how drunk she got this time.

I felt guilt course through my body. I was not guilty because I was using Tanya; it was her face that popped up in my mind that made me feel guilty. I didn't know what made me feel guilty, so I just kept on kissing my girlfriend. After all, she deserved my full attention.

After my little make out session with Tanya, I just hung out with my friends. I mean that was why I was here. We were having fun shooting hoops when my phone started to ring. I picked it up and checked the caller id.

"Hello," I said breathing hard.

"Edward," Alice shrieked and I held the phone away from my ear. She was very upset about something.

"What now?" I asked, sighing. How come I was the only one who made the mistakes? I sat down on a bench and watched the guys play.

"You were supposed to be home like ten minutes ago. Dad will be here in half an hour. When he finds out that you are missing family dinner again, I am not standing up for you," Alice said. Alice always said the same thing but she always stood up for me. It's for sister's are for.

"Alice, clam down, I'll be home in fifteen minutes," I said. I hung up the phone and got in my car without saying goodbye to anyone. That's how my life was nowadays, I didn't bother to tell anyone where I was going or when I will be back. I just did what I wanted to.

I got home just before my father did. My Dad, Carlisle, was a senior doctor at the Beverly Hills hospital. The nurses there had a hard time concentrating on their work with him around. They all thought he was good looking enough to be a model. He had golden blonde hair and blue eyes.

It was Friday night, the night of our 'family dinner'. Everyone was so busy in my family that we had to schedule a family dinner.

"How is everyone tonight?" My father asked when he walked into the living room. He sat down next to Mom on the couch. Mom, Alice and I were sitting there lounging.

"Great," I said sarcastically, eyeing Alice because she was so excited. I knew what was coming. I ground my teeth together and looked at the TV.

"The Swans are moving back," Alice said, bouncing up and down again. I shot her a glare which she pretended she didn't notice.

"That's great," Carlisle said, throwing me a cautious look. You would have thought that I was bipolar or something.

"Edward, how do you feel about that?"

"Great, like I said before, no need to worry. I'm your son not a science project," I said in anger. Huh, maybe I was bipolar because I was getting angry again. I didn't need this 'how do you feel about this or that' treatment. So I just got up, told my family I wasn't hungry and went upstairs to my room.

I lay down on my bed, but I knew that sleep wouldn't come tonight and I didn't want to think about what or rather who was coming tomorrow.