The team had been talking and sneaking around behind his back for the last week. They were even banning him temporarily from their little chatting site. He wasn't sure if he should be feeling hurt or suspicious, his birthday was coming up after all. But that didn't mean they knew, how could they? The only person who knew was Pepper, and he only told her because she threatened to tell Coulson that he hated him.

He was still thinking about this when he opened the door after he was finished shopping that afternoon. Between him, Thor, Loki, and Bruce after a 'Hulk-out' they would have been eating a normal person out of house and home. But Tony was a billionaire as he continued to tell everyone. The place smelled funny. Kind of like sulfur and apples. But whatever.

It was after he had finished putting away the groceries that it happened.

His phone rang.

And not just any ring, it was the ring tone for when someone was calling him to the chat site. Okay, now he was suspicious.

Steve dug into his pocket and signed into his account.

[Steve has entered]

Steve: Hello?

Tony: Steve!

Bruce: Hi, Steve.

Natasha: Hello.

Clint: Stevie B's!

Coulson: Hello Steve.

Thor: Shield brother!

Loki: Would you all shut up and get on with it? I am trying to brew a potion and me being on here isn't helping the solution not exploding!

Steve: ...

Tony: Aww, now look what you did, you made him mute!

Loki: Hmm... I had not thought that that would be reaction to the fumes...

Steve: I am not mute! But wait... was that what I had smelled when I had walked in?

Loki: Well, I had told everyone to avoid that part of the house...

Steve: Yeah well, you forgot to call hand tell me! I was out getting groceries!

Loki: oops?

Steve: If I wake up with my hair red, white and blue, I will break you.

Loki: (Scoffs) You couldn't even if you tried! And you did.

Bruce: The Other Guy can.

Loki: ...

[Loki has left]

Tony: Coward!

Steve: Tony, what did I say about yelling? I can hear you from all the way over here.

Tony: Dude... I'm on the 8th floor.

Clint: Must be his goody-two-shoes senses tingling.

Tony: Lol! Nice one! High-five!

Steve: I heard that too.

Tony: ...

Clint: ...

Steve: Now will someone please tell me what in the world is going on?

Thor: "Where in the world, is Carmon Sandiago!?"

Clint: Why?...

Thor: I have not been able to banish it from my mind! It is confusing...

Tony: That's a catchy jingle for ya babe.

Steve: Hello?

Tony: Right, right, right. Would you please head up to the 'Family room'? We'll be waiting.

Steve: It took all that to tell me to come up to the 8th floor?

Natasha: Apparently.

Coulson: We'll see you there.

[Coulson has left]

[Natasha has left]

Steve: And also, why were all of you on here? It would only take one of you to tell me. For Pete's sake, you could have just texted me!

Tony: Steve... Do you even know how to do anything on your phone except for answering it and coming on here?

Steve: ...The only reason I know that much is because you wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't!

Tony: Right. See ya later!

[Tony has left]

Steve: Some days...

Bruce: I know man, I know.

[Bruce has left]

Clint: Don't be late!

[Clint has left]

Steve: (sigh)

[Steve has left]

Steve couldn't see a thing.

"Hello?" He slowly crept into the dark room.

Before he could step two feet from the door, the lights flared to life and everybody jumped out and shouted "Surprise!"

Steve yelled and fell over backwards.

After a moment of trying to get his heart to slow down, Steve finally got the breath to say, "What the heck?!"

Tony shook his head sadly. "Hell Steve, not heck, hell."

Steve shot a look at him that plainly said that he wouldn't wake up in the morning.

Natasha walked over. "It's a surprise birthday party. Tony insisted."

Steve looked a little betrayed. "I told Pepper not to tell anyone!"

Tony chuckled evilly. "She didn't. Sort of. I just got her drunk enough to get her to tell me."

Clint leaned over to stage whisper to Thor. "I'm really glad that Tony's on our team..."

Thor laughed. "Yes! The Man of Iron is much like my brother!"

Loki hummed from his position on the couch. He was splayed over it like a cat. "Indeed." He cast a thoughtful glance at Tony who was looking at him in turn.

Tony shook himself as if trying to rid some thoughts from his mind and clapped his hands together. "Alright! Time for presents!" When Steve didn't walk over to the table that had a pile of gifts on it, Tony sighed in exasperation. "Come on! They're not going to unwrap themselves! Well, maybe mine can, but I told it not to!"

Steve looked worried.

Clint ran forward and thrust a package in front of Steve's face. "Ooh! Mine first! Mine first!"

Steve sighed and took the package from the archer. It was blue with white spots. He gingerly unwrapped it and opened the box. And stood there for a moment before he pulled out what ever was in the box and held it up. "Clint... Whats this?"

"It's silly puddy! Ow!" Natasha had smacked him upside the head.

Natasha glared. "I told you not to get that!"

"I didn't! I gave it to Steve!" Clint whined as he rubbed the back of his head.

As this was going on, Coulson stepped up and wordlessly handed him his present. This one was wrapped up in plain white. Steve unwrapped it and tried to smile politely. "Why are you giving me one of your Captain America cards?"

Coulson blushed. "I was wondering if you would sign it... I was called in last minute. I can get you something else later." He had never seen the man so embarrassed.

Steve shook his head. "It's okay." And pulled a pen from his pocket and signed it then gave it back.

Coulson nodded. "Thanks." He looked as if he was going to start jumping up and down. But he didn't.

Natasha handed her's to Steve next. It was red with purple stripes. When he unwrapped it he saw a manual on how to use a Starkphone.

She cracked a smile. "I heard that you wanted one."

Steve laughed. "You heard correctly."

After Bruce hand handed his over, (It was a box of tea wrapped in plain dark green paper.) Tony walked up and handed Steve a big box. It was a lighter green than Bruce's and had tiny iron men all over it. Go figure. "This is from me and Loki." All of a sudden, he got a sense of foreboding.

Steve held the box away from himself. "Do I even want to know?"

Loki interrupted what ever Tony was about to say. "Yes, now open it." He swore he heard the two giggling to each other. He was going to regret this, he knew it.

He slowly unwrapped the large box and slowly took the top off. He couldn't see anything with all of the wax paper in the way. Then, something brown and furry jumped out from the box and knocked him over.

Steve was shocked. "You two got me a puppy!?" They couldn't handle a puppy! He already had to look after Tony and Clint!

But he didn't have to worry about any of that. Because then the puppy exploded. literally. Bits of fur and other things he couldn't quite make out flew everywhere. Everyone just stood there with their mouths open. No one had expected that. Well, all except for the two puppy murderers howling and rolling all over each other on the couch.

Steve just stared. "What. Did you. Just. DO?!" He tried not to cry. That was an Innocent puppy! Did Loki brainwash Tony? Were they going to kill more helpless creatures?!

It took Tony a while to stop laughing. "Um, Cap. Look at the 'remains'." While he didn't want to, curiosity nagged at him until he did. And heaved a sigh of relief. In place of blood and guts, where screws and blown bits of metal that clung to the pieces of fur. It was a robot. That's why they were laughing. But he still didn't know what Loki had to do with any of this.

Steve looked up at the other culprit who had finally stopped laughing, but didn't get up from his position on top of Tony's stomach. And Tony didn't look like he was going to move him either."And what did Loki have to do with this? The idea?"

Tony smiled at Loki. "No, we thought it up together. I just made the robot while Loki wanted to try out one of his new potions. So, we made Little Bada Boom." He saw the others mouthing the name Tony had given the robot.

Steve got up and dusted himself off. "Well, now that that's over, I'm going to kill the both of you now." Then he lunged at them. Both of their eyes widened. Loki vanished while Tony ran like a mad man, screaming bloody murder.

(A few hours later)

[Loki has entered]

[Tony has entered]

Loki: Stark?

Tony: I'm here.

Loki: Are you all right? Did he catch you?

Tony: Na. I had thought that this would happen, so, I had my bracelets on. You know, the ones I used on you?

Loki: Ah yes. Where are you now?

Tony: I'm hiding under the pool table. I didn't know that there was so much space under here... where are you?

Loki: I am between dementions.

Tony: ...Then how are you getting internet connection?

Loki: Magic, remember?

Tony: Oh. Well, I've been down here for hours and my back hurts. I'm coming out.

Loki: Are you sure that is wise? He could be close by.

Tony: I'll be fine. I'm sure he's nfjreihtwogef4mgh oqtc4nu2oxge3nzyw!Fntb ivnresn8ct74738wtc7n38tn8tb6fcfj!

Loki: Tony? Tony?!

Loki: Stark, are you there? Answer me!

Tony: He's a little tied up right now. But don't worry. You're next.

[Tony has left]

Loki: ...

[Loki has left]