Chapter 3- Illogical
Summary: There are a few things that even River can't quantify…

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River sat in her room mindlessly drawing. Her mind was on one thing: Malcolm Reynolds. It was all sorts of peculiar. She couldn't place her feelings towards him. Everyone else she had a vibe for.

Simon, Kaylee, and Inara, she loved. They were family.

Jayne, a zang hundan fuyi yige nuhai chenghao.

The blonde pilot, she liked a lot. He was fun. His wife, she thought that she was nice.

Shepherd, naive, but nice. Him and his broken book…

Mal…she couldn't quantify him. She just knew that it wasn't dislike. Things about their relationship still confused her. She didn't know why she chose him when Jubal Early arrived.

True Jayne had tried to sell her once, so for the trust issue he wasn't the logical choice. However he was stronger and could have easily taken Jubal down.

Zoe she trusted, but her strength and agility was in question. The blonde was too peace loving. Still, she hypothesized that he would have saved her anyway…with help from Zoe.

These were all the logical reasons why Mal was chosen to save her like one of the knights saving the damsel in distress like in those Earth-that-was stories. Yet she knew that they weren't the reason. It was something else. Something deeper. Trust. No, even deeper than that.

When they stood among the stars after she floated down to him, she felt something that still tugged at her every time she was around him. Especially when he was nice. And smiled.

"Mei mei," Simon said as he opened the door, effectively bringing her back to her surroundings.

"Yes?"

"Did I give you your medicine this morning?"

"No."

"Well let's go to the-"

"No."

"You need it."

"No."

"We're going to the infirmary right now. I'm your brother and your doctor."

"No."

****

-Slam-

"Go easy on the cabinets, son. What did they do to you?" Shepherd smirked. Mal glared at him.

"What seems to be troubling you?" he continued.

"Don't do that whole preacher 'I'm listenin' to your problems' thing," Mal snapped.

"Sorry."

"'Cause if God's really so gorram great, he'd do the listenin' not his minions."

"Minions?" he chuckled. "I never thought of myself as a minion. If you want I'll stop being a shepherd for a few minutes and just a friend."

Mal sighed heavily and looked at Shepherd.

"I'm only semi-cuddly."

Shepherd raised his eyebrows. Mal realized how stupid it sounded when he said it out loud. It didn't feel stupid. It felt like a kick to the gut, and he was all too familiar with that sensation.

"Never mind. I got work to do."

"Captain?"

"Never mind, Shepherd."

Mal headed for the cargo bay. He heard shouting and followed it to the couch outside of the infirmary.

"River!" Simon roared.

"NO!"

"You need this-"

"NO GORRAM NEEDLES!"

Mal walked down to the arguing siblings, adopting his most captainy pose and his most captainy voice. "What's goin' on?"

Simon turned towards him with an exasperated huff. "She doesn't want me to give her her medication."

"Stick me with more needles to stop the bleeding? Illogical!" she snarled avoiding the captain's cool gaze.

"I don't much like shots either, doc. What's it for anyhow?"

"It blocks D2 receptors in the dopamine pathway to-"

"Captain-dummy talk please."

"It controls her psychosis."

Mal looked at her and shrugged. "She seems sane enough to me."

"Right now. I'm concerned about for the rest of the day."

"What 'rest of the day'? It's just dinner and then bed. No point in givin' it to her now. I'd appreciate it if you kept the shouting to a minimum. This ain't exactly the most soundproof boat in the 'verse."

"Sorry, Captain, but I'm the doctor and River is my patient and sister-"

"And this is my boat. That's my infirmary, my drugs, and my money that I'm givin' you to patch up my crew. I say she don't need it for what's left of the day. This conversation is over. I got work to do."

"I don't see why she is your concern," Simon said after his receding back.

"I'm just keepin' the peace on this boat. We went over the not-soundproofed thing, right? Why are we still talkin' 'bout this?"

She caught his eye and gave a little nod as a thank you. He nodded back and walked away.

Simon gave up, but vowed to keep a close eye on her. Then Kaylee called to him and he left faster than Jayne when he's on his way to a whorehouse.

River went back into her room to finish her drawing with a light smile playing on her lips. Captain Mal came to the rescue again leaving her with that same tugging pulling her in different directions. Like butterflies…no, fireflies, burning up her insides. That's what it was. Fire doing a tango in her chest. Smile activated. No, it danced whenever he was around. Mal activated. It was simply illogical. How could someone, especially the captain, trigger that kind of reaction? It couldn't be quantified. Before him, it all could be quantified. But now…

They gathered around for dinner. It was free of any "teddy bear" jokes. Instead, they chose Simon and Kaylee as the targets.

"Is it my turn for cleanup?" Mal asked, stopping the teasing for just a moment or two.

"Sure is, Cap'in! You 'n River…" Kaylee nodded.

Mal looked over at River with a grin. The tango in her chest started again as they started to clear the table. Everyone left and it was just the two of them.

She gathered the plates and the mugs into one towering stack. He turned around and saw that she was carrying all of the plates at once. He darted over to her and put his hand over hers while carefully taking half of the stack from her.

"Careful there, little one."

Her heart raced at the tenderness in his voice.

He set the plates in the sink and went back to gather the chopsticks. She turned on the sink. Water sprayed out of the neck of the faucet. He rushed over to her side and turned it off as quickly as he could.

"Are you okay?" he asked nervously. He didn't want her to freak out him, especially since he told Simon to let her go without her meds.

She looked up at him with a cute little smile. "That was cold."

He smiled at her and then handed her the dishtowel. He bent down to inspect the faucet.

"That thing is loose. If I had wrench, I could fix no prob-"

River had snuck around to the other side of the sink and turned the water on just a little bit. She laughed at the look on his face when the water hit him. She turned it off and looked at him innocently.

"What did I ever do to you to deserve water in the face? Really?"

She laughed harder and then offered him the towel as a peace offering. He accepted it and wiped his face off.

"I'm gonna go get a wrench from Kaylee. I'll finish up, you can go."

"Thank you, Captain."

"No problem."

She floated away graceful-like. He shook his head. He didn't know what it was, but every time the girl thanked him or just nodded to him, he got this feeling in his chest like a surge of warmth. It made him feel all manner of warm and fuzzy inside like he had done something good in the 'verse for once.

The tango in her chest didn't stop even after she got into her room. She let her mind wander while she straightened things up. Jayne, working out. Shepherd, praying. Inara, talking to a client. Simon and Kaylee, together, and she felt a familiar sensation. The blonde and Zoe, together, and the same feeling danced through her mind.

She sat down on her bed, experiencing what the two couples felt unintentionally. Strangely enough, it wasn't all that different from the fireflies she felt. She frowned. Surely that couldn't be what they were. It was just…irrational…

(zang hundan fuyi yige nuhai chenghao- dirty bastard with a girl name)