Disclaimer: We do not own the Lord of the Rings. This story is not meant to be offensive in any way to anybody, it is purely meant to be humorous entertainment.

Denethor returned to the throne room and sat on the throne again after changing into dry robes after Iliya's water works display. "Send in the next person." He droned.

A panicked man with clothes that were badly torn, covered in dog slobber, and had some foam on them that could possibly be from a dog that had rabies hurriedly entered. As soon as he entered the hall, he quickly slammed the doors. On the other side of the door rabid barks, growls, and scratches on the door could be heard.

"State your name." Denethor said in his typical bored drone, oblivious to everything that was going on around him.

"Help me! I'm being chased by ravenous dogs!" The man cried out, ignoring Denethor's question.

"And what is your complaint?" Denethor said, not even realizing that the man had not given a name.

"I'm being chased by ravenous dogs!"

"And what do you want me to do about it?"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN, I'M BEING CHASED BY RAVENOUS DOGS!" The man yelled.

"Granted. Now, guards, please escort this man out." Denethor said his standard line, acting like a tape recording going through its track.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" the man screamed at the top of his lungs in hysteria. "DON'T OPEN THE DOORS! YOU'LL LET THE DOGS-"

But by then it was too late. Denethor's guards opened the doors to the hall and a pack of rabid, crazed dogs lunged into the hall, barking and growling.

"…in…" The man said in a defeated tone.

As soon as the dogs spotted the man, they got a malicious look in their eyes and began to pursue the man, who emitted a high-pitched scream and started to run away. He ran up and hid behind Denethor's throne.

The dogs continued their beeline but their target had changed to Denethor. Denethor, now realizing what had transpired, gave a frightened yelp and jumped out of his throne and ran away from the dogs, yelling to the dim-witted guards, "You idiots! Why'd you let the dogs in! You're fired! You're all fired!"

The dogs began to jump on Denethor and began to use him as a chew-toy, tearing up his stately new robes and leaving bite-marks on his skin.

"Guards!" Denethor yelled. "Get these beasts off of me!"

"But we're fired!" One of the guards said.

"Well, you're un-fired! Now, come get these beasts off of me!" Denethor yelled.

The guards restrained the dogs. At this point, a man entered the room, out of breath. He put his hands on his knees and breathed heavily for a few moments before he spoke. "I'm from the GAC, Gondorian Animal Control. I've chasing these dogs all over the city, all day, through all seven levels of Minas Tirith. And now you've caught them for me, and I can take them off to be ki-" He paused, seeing a small, six-year-old boy (Faramir) peaking in on the scene from the entrance to the hall. He resumed his sentence. "…to be sent off to the happy place where all little doggies, good or bad, get to go and play there for ever and ever."

Denethor gave the man an odd look. "You know, nobody here is too juvenile for the truth. If you're going to kill them, just say so." A small gasp was heard by the adjacent front doors, but Faramir was careful enough to pull his head back before anyone noticed him.

"Right…" Said the man. He knocked out the dogs, put them in a sack, and carried them away. The man who had been chased by the dogs followed him, leaving Denethor alone in the room with his guards and advisor.

To his advisor, he said, "Bring me another change of robes." As an afterthought, he added, "And a rabies shot."

"Yes, sir." The advisor said.

Nari: Yay! We got a reviewer! (party music plays and balloons descend) Whooo!

Mina: Thank you, Lady of Gondor, for being our first and only reviewer!

Nari: Yeah, thank you so much!

Mina: We would really appreciate if our other readers for this reviewed, whether they're saying good or bad things. It doesn't matter to us, we just want reviews!

Mina and Nari (Nari: Why is it always Mina and Nari? Why can't it be Nari and Mina?): Please leave lots of reviews!

Nari: Seriously, why can't it be Nari and Mina?

Mina: This is alphabetical!

Nari: Right… :P