Review Section
Samy luvz Mandy: Oh, things are definitely going to get interesting.
Sp0rtigirl: Alright, I'll post some more.
babygirl2006: In all honesty, I'm glad to be back.
mikachu: I'm still not sure how I feel about Paula.
free21: You're bound to know my writing well enough by now to know that drama is never far off.
justlikeyou: Hey, I told you I would eventually.
Fallen Angel-2009: Paula has no reason NOT to be nice.
PJ4Eva: You get points for figuring out my plans.
Author's Notes
I am not Christian. I do not pray a lot. I was making it up as I went along. Also note... Paula has no reason not to be nice to Ashley. She doesn't really know anything about her, and thus, we have nice Paula.
Disclaimer: South Of Nowhere characters belong to Tom Lynch. I am using them without permission, and I'm not making any profit off of them. If you're thinking of taking legal action, I'm not sure what you think you're going to get from an unemployed college kid.
This chapter is dedicated to Megan, because awkward bedtime is orgasm material.
The Sun And The Moon
Chapter 3
By Persephone's Nautical Nun
- Ashley -
Spencer was kind enough to show me up to her room, but I suppose she didn't really have much choice in the matter. As soon as her mother suggested I stay with them, I could see the disdain on Spencer's face. In fact, I was about to decline the offer, but Mrs. Carlin would have none of that. And, now, on top of everything else, she expects me and Spencer to share a bed.
Can this get any more surreal?
After I got the basic tour, Spencer led me back down to the living room where we sat on the same couch, but pretended we weren't on the same planet. I can't do this. I have to leave. This was stupid, and there's no way I can sit here and play nice like nothing ever happened for as long as Mrs. Carlin wants me here. It's too hard doing it for fifteen minutes.
"You smell like ash." Spencer's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Did she just initiate conversation with me? Has Hell frozen over?
"Well, I should hope so. I'm still me, after all," I said, misunderstanding her on purpose, hoping the joke would lighten the air a bit.
She wasn't having it, though. "You know what I mean. You smell like ash. Have you been smoking?"
I felt my shoulders slump. Apparently everything I try is doomed to fail. "Yeah, I've been smoking," I admitted, voice flat. I wasn't really looking to get into this.
I heard her snort beside me. I knew she wasn't going to like the answer, but I couldn't very well lie to her. I was trying to make things better, and lying was the best way to ensure awkwardness between us forever. "That's real great, Ashley," she said, her voice laced with sarcasm. "If you're not killing yourself one way, it's another."
Okay, now I was just getting angry. Where did she get off telling me about my self-destructive lifestyle? Did she really think I didn't know? No, Ashley, stop this. You deserve whatever she deals you. You're on her terms, now. Given, she's not happy about the terms, but she's not outright kicking you out. That's a plus, right? Just grin and bear it. Maybe if you're here and relentless, something will change.
"Girls, dinner's ready," Mrs. Carlin informed us as she walked into the living room. Spencer had somehow sensed her mother coming, because she turned to me with the same fake smile she greeted me with earlier, and pretended like we were in the middle of a lively conversation. I'm quite sure Mrs. Carlin knows absolutely nothing about what Spencer was up to while she was at school. Well, far be it for me to blow her cover. I matched her expression and body language right after I caught on to what she was doing.
"Oh, thanks Mom," Spencer exclaimed in a cheery voice I had never heard her use before. Was Mrs. Carlin really this stupid, or was she just that out of touch?
Anyway, I allowed myself to be herded towards the dining room, where I found dinner spread across the table. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn bread. How quiant.
I found myself seated between Mrs. Carlin and the boy who answered the door earlier, Spencer across from me. Next to her was a blond boy I hadn't met, yet, and on the end of the table opposite Mrs. Carlin was a dark haired man I could only assume was Mr. Carlin. Introductions were made, and I found out that the boy who answered the door was named Clay, the blond boy was Glen, and I was right in assuming the dark haired man was Mr. Carlin. Ten points for me.
After the introductions, I felt Clay and Mrs. Carlin grab one of my hands. A quick survey of the table showed me that everyone's heads were bowed. What was this? Were they praying? The Spencer I knew wasn't very religious. Have I stepped into the twilight zone?
In a few seconds, my thoughts were confirmed when Mrs. Carlin started speaking. "Dear God. We thank you for keeping us safe and together, and for providing us with this nourishment before us. We also thank you for the safe arrival of our friend here," I felt her give my hand a gentle squeeze. Well, at least Mrs. Carlin was nice. "In God's name we pray, Amen."
I muttered a soft 'amen' and pulled my hands back to my lap. That was quite possibly the weirdest thing that's ever happened to me.
Dinner was started without much fanfare after that. The meatloaf was actually pretty good. Spencer avoided eye contact with me as much as possible, and somehow, the rest of her family didn't catch that. Maybe they just didn't want to?
"So, Ashley, you're a music major, right?" Mr. Carlin asked me between bites of mashed potatoe.
"Um, yes sir," I managed to get out. "Concentration in voice."
"Oh, really?" Mrs. Carlin burst in, propping her head in her hands. "Please, sing something for us."
This woman was very in your face. So was I. I was beginning to worry about how well we'd be able to get along. At least this managed to get a rreaction out of Spencer. I noticed the sharp glance she shot at her mother before turning her face to indifference towards me. If I was looking for some kind of answer about what I should do in Spencer, I wasn't getting any. I didn't have anything prepared, but these people probably didn't know anything about music and would love it, anyway. Well, Glen probably wouldn't even hear it. His corn bread was much more interesting. I got the vague impression that he didn't like me very much.
"Um, well, I don't really have anything prepared," I tried explaining to Mrs. Carlin.
"Oh, that's okay," she beamed, hands waving wildly. "Just sing anything, I'm sure it'll be wonderful."
I sighed, admitting defeat. This woman wasn't going to let me off the hook. I wracked my brain, trying to think of something appropriate to sing for them. The first song that came to me was bound to be a big hit with Mrs. Carlin, but there was no way of telling what it would do to Spencer. I had to take the chance, though. There was nothing else coming to mind. Before I lost my nerve, I opened my mouth, and began to sing.
I picture you in the
sun, wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees,
asking for sympathy
And being caught in between, all you wish for
and all you see
And trying to find anything you can feel, that you
can believe in
May God's love be with you
Always
I know I
would apologize, if I could see your eyes
Cause when you showed me
myself, you know, I became someone else
But I was caught in
between, all you wished for and all you need
I picture you fast
asleep, a nightmare comes you can't keep away
May God's love be
with you
Always
Well I don't know anymore what it's for, I'm
not even sure
If there is anyone who is in the sun, won't you help
me to understand
Cause I've been caught in between, all I wish for
and all I need
Maybe you're not even sure, what it's for anymore
like me
May God's love be with you
Always
Cause if I find
If I
find my way
How much will I find?
If I find
If I find my
way
How much will I
Find you
You
I'll find you
"Oh, that was wonderful," Mrs. Carlin exclaimed while the rest of the family clapped haphazardly.
"Yeah, Ashley. That was really beautiful," came Spencer's cheery reply. I knew it was fake, and I knew I had made a mistake. I'd deal with the consequences later. She turned to her mother. "I'm not feeling very well, I think I'm going to lay down."
And then she got up from her seat, set her dishes in the sink, and trudged up the stairs, leaving me alone with her crazy family.
---South-Of-Nowhere---
- Spencer -
I made my way up to my room and sat on the bed, not really sure what my emotions were. Hearing her sing that song did a lot of different things to me. On one hand, I was furious that she would be alright with sharing that song with my mother, and thinking that she had a right to sing it in my presence this soon, anyway. On the other, I was touched that she had thought of it, and I couldn't remember a time when that song sounded more beautiful. She really was in the right field.
I reached under my mattress and my fingers groped for the object I knew was under there. Finally finding it, I pulled it out and smoothed the slight crumples of the photograph. Aiden had given it to me a while back. We were too caught up in what we were doing to know he had photographed us. I sat there, looking at the first kiss I shared with Ashley, the one Aiden practically forced us into. I laughed a little to myself as I noticed the fact that my tongue could be seen creeping into Ashley's mouth. I was so bold back then.
I heard the floorboards creak in the hall and footsteps stop outside my room. I shoved the picture under my pillow right before the door opened to reveal Ashley. We looked at each other for a long time, much like we did when she first showed up. She didn't take a step into my room, and I kind of liked that. It showed that she was willing to play by my rules. That's the only way I was going to play, anyway. "Well, are you coming in, or what?" I asked, growing tired of the staring contest.
She took a few steps into the room and closed the door behind her. "Look, I'm sorry about-"
"Don't," I interrupted her. I didn't want to hear any more apologies tonight. I was all sorried out.
Still she stood by the doorway, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. I couldn't get over how nervous she was. Was I really that scary?
"I can sleep on the floor if you want," she finally said.
The gesture was noble, and I probably should have accepted it. Unfortunately, I felt an unexplainable desire to be near her, and the thought of sharing a bed with ehr was both frightening and exciting at the same time. That was unexplainable in itself. We had shared a bed a countless number of times in the past. Hell, towards the end of the semester, I practically lived with her. Why should this feel so strange?
I shook my head at her. "That won't work. There's a guest in the house and Mom will be up extra early cooking breakfast, and she's bound to come wake us up. If she finds you on the floor, she'll guess something's wrong, and I don't really feel like going through the explanations with her. Do you?" Okay, so I lied. Big deal.
She turned out the light, and I waited for the mattress to shift with the added weight. I felt her sit down on the edge of the bed. "How much does she know?" Her voice sounded far away, and I could see through the faint light cast by the moon that she was facing away from me.
I sighed and layed down on my side of the bed. "Nothing at all."
"Oh," she replied before laying down next to me. There we were, on our backs staring at the ceiling, both of us stiff and afraid to move. The silence became too much for me. "I meant it, you know," I said, not tearing my eyes from the ceiling.
"Meant what?" she asked, maintaining her position.
"That it was beautiful."
And then we were quiet again, neither of us really sure what to say after that. After a while, I rolled onto my side, facing her, feigning sleep. In the dark, I felt safe. In the dark it felt okay for me to drap and arm around her waist like we used to. As long as it was in the dark, we were okay.
I felt her body stiffen under my arm, the relax. I fought off the smile that threatened my face when I felt her hand find mine and lace our fingers together. There were going to be questions in the morning, but I'd deal with that then.