Story Starts:
M and Jess sneaked into the office as Pein was mumbling to himself as he finished some paperwork. They put the stereo on the ground and pressed play. "Pain…"
"Without love. Pein can't get enough! Pein I like it rough! Cause I'd rather feel Pein than nothing at all!!!" the two girls sang to the music. Pein lifted his head. A blush of embarrassment on his cheek. "You're sick of feeling numb you not the only one. I'll take you by the hand and I'll show you a world that you can understand. This life is filled with hurt when happiness doesn't work trust me and take my hand when the lights go up you'll understand! Pein without love! Pein can't get enough! Pein I like it rough cause I'd rather feel Pein than nothing at all!"
"JESSICA UCHIHA!!! MIRANDA NAGATO!!! WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT SINGING THAT SONG?!!!"
Miranda blinked. "That only Konan is allowed to sing it?" she asked. He glared at them.
"Don't look at us like that!" Jess said.
"Anger and agony are better than misery trust me I got a plan when the lights go out you'll understand."
"PEIN!!! Without love! PEIN!!! Can't get enough! PEIN!!! I like it rough cause I'd rather feel PEIN than nothing at all!!!" (p.s. you will never be able to listen to that song again… we disgraced it. Aw well. ^_^)
The girls ran out of the room. They ran into their room and closed the door.
"What now?" Asked Jess as she placed the stereo on the floor. She look over at M who was staring at her phone charger with wide eyes. "What the fuck are you doing?" Miranda held out the phone charger and the wire to a pair of headphones.
"It makes a pretty light!" She said as she pressed the metal and of the wire to the phone charger. The little red light lit up and M laughed.
"Why the hell are you doing that?" Jess asked. Miranda looked at her with innocent eyes.
"It's shiny and pretty…" she said.
That night the Akatsuki held a meeting. No it did not concern the two sugar high friends. No it was about the Byuus. But that did not matter to the girls as they sneaked into the leaders office and found the Akatsuki power box. They shut down all the power except for the office's power. They pressed the button. The loud speaker turned on. Miranda gave off a dark evil chuckle in an evil deep voice.
"Hello Akatsuki, I want to play a game."
Down in the meeting room the members where pressed against the wall fearful looks in their eyes and they were panting. It was fear not sex. Tobi was crying.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!!! YOU MADE TOBI PISS HIS PANTS!!!" Tobi said. Hidan looked at him.
"Aw fuck not the fuck again." he hissed. "Tobi we told you to wear diapers."
"WHO ARE YOU?!!!" Zetsu screamed.
"I told you… I want to play a game…"
"I like games! What game are we playing?" Tobi asked.
"For the past… uh… 13 years…"
"I like lots of games!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBI AND PAY GOD DAMN ATTENTION BITCH!!!" another voice said. There was silence from the members and the girls.
"For the past 13 years we have established that you have all a deadly case of… sex." The other voice said.
"Wait a minute… sex isn't a sickness…" Pein said.
"UNDER MY BOOK IT IS!!!" The voice yelled. "NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP… or I'll smack you." There was silence from the members. "Now, for the past 13 years you have all had a deadly case of sex… especially Konan."
"WHAT THE FUCK?!!! NO I HAVEN'T!!!"
"Then tell me, how many guys have you slept with in the past 13 years?" The voice asked.
"One, two, three… 50... Aw fuck I lost count!" The members stared at her.
"To be correct you have slept with… 13900 different men in the past 13 years. You whore… I'd rather be a bitch than be you. You disgrace us all… Pein… you sicken my virgin eyes going out with this woman… especially proposing to her. You sick sick man…"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW?!!!" Pein melted down.
"We know everything!" The second voice said with an evil laugh.
"We see everything… don't test our power… for you will die a very slow… and Peinful death. And yes Pein as in your leader… your leader will be in you when you die." the voice laughed darkly.
Pein was anime crying. "But I don't want to…"
"SUCK IT UP BITCH!!!" the second voice said. "Besides, you should be used to being in Konan."
"Not a pretty sight either." Pein and Konan turned red. "Itachi, Kisame… You are the next couple on our list. You have only fucked each other but you have fucked 100 time in the past 13 years. And Itachi… you have been in here for only 5 years… how the fuck did you fuck him so many fucking times in such a fucking short amount of fucking time?!!!"
"You're turning into Hidan!!!!!!!!"
"Oh fuck." Hidan said. "What did I fucking do?"
"SAY FUCK TOO MUCH!!! Ahem… you have fucked… I mean raped… girls… thankfully your age… 97 times… and they were different girls… you horny bastard. I THOUGHT IT WAS AGAINST YOUR REILIGION!!!"
"IT IS FUCKING AGAINST MY FUCKING RELIGION YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!!"
"I guess saying fuck isn't."
"NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!!!"
"Hidan… sit down." He sat in one of the chairs. "One of the woman you raped is pregnant." Hidan's eyes widened.
"Who the fuck is it?"
"Konan."
"WHAT THE FUCK?!!!" Hidan, Konan, and Pein yelled.
"Yes, Hidan got Konan pregnant." The other voice said.
"How?"
"Well… In the middle of the night, Hidan went into Konan's room… And he took of his clothes… and Konan being the slut she is didn't say no…"
"I KNOW WHERE BABIES COME FROM!!" Tobi said. The Akatsuki looked at him as he waved his arms in the air. "A MAN AND A WOMAN ARE TOGETHER THE MAN PUTS HIS…"
"DON'T!!!" everyone yelled.
"You fucking retard." Deidara said.
"DON'T INSULT TOBI GOD DAMN IT!!!" the voices yelled. They jumped to the wall again.
"Next is… Oh…. Orochimaru… since he in no longer with us… thanks to our weasel we shall move on. Sasori. SASORI-DONNA?!!!" the voice yelled and fell.
The second voice cleared it's throat. "Everything is ok. Sasori… you have fucked… 14 women… good… that's not bad… only problem is… your child is outside the door. Your son."
"Gaara?!"
"NO NOT GAARA!!!" the voice yelled. "Gaara is safely in Suna… try again." Silence. "It's Sasuke."
"NO!!!" Itachi and Sasori yelled.
"Yes… Sasuke." The other voice said.
"Ok I'm back." the first voice said. "Sasori I am disappointed." There were two sighs.
"Next it the bird maker and the explosives specialist."
"NANI?!!!" Deidara yelled.
"10 girls. Not bad not bad at all…" the first voice said.
"Next is Zetsu… 8 girls… how the hell?"
Tobi raised his hand, "THE MAN PUT HIS PENIS…!"
"NO MAKING FUN OF PEIN!!!"
Tobi anime cried. "Tobi wasn't."
"YOU SAID PENIS!!! PEIN IS NOT A PENIS! HE'S A PUSSY!!!" Pein passed out.
"Tobi thought we couldn't make fun of Pein." he said.
"Next… Kakuzu… you shame the Akatsuki." the second voice said. "You've only fucked 2 girls!!!" the voice yelled scolding the healer. Kakuzu shrugged. "Bastard."
"Now… this is where the real game begins… if you manage to fuck 20 people that you have never met in the next two days… I will not kill you."
"WHAT KIND OF PRIZE IS THAT?!!!"
"That won't be too hard." Konan said.
"Of course it won't be hard for you." The other voice said.
"PEIN!!!" the first voice barked. The leader jumped. "You must use your real body… IS THAT CLEAR?!!!"
"Could you clearify that for me?" Pein asked.
"Sweetie… how many alcoholic beverages have you consumed today?" Pein started counting.
"14 bottles of sake…" he said.
"That explains so much…." The girls covered their eyes. "You are a disgrace!!! You must use the body Nagato… if you don't…. YOU WILL DIE IN 7 DAYS!!!" The leader screamed and hid in the corner crying. Yes the all powerful leader was crying. KODAK MOMENT!!!
"You have two days! Goodbye Akatsuki." The other voice said. The power returned a moment later. The two girls laughed hysterically.
"Ok… next… what's next?" M asked. She pulled out a list. "Ok so we sang Pein. We played a game. Next is OH!!!! WE GET TO GRAFFITI!!!"
"What do we get to graffiti?" Jess asked. M looked at her.
"What do you think?" Jess shrugged. "Itachi and Kisame's room no duh! Hurry up! I call dibs on saying itakisa forever!!! AND THAT ITACHI IS GAY!!!"
"Oh! I have an idea!!!!!!"
"What?"
"You'll see." Jess said and ran out of the room to get spray paint.
"What?" M took a can of spray paint. An evil chuckle erupted from Jess's lips. M took a step back. They ran into Itachi and Kisame's room and started spray painting the walls. M looked at what Jess had done that was so evil. The wall said, 'Itachi likes Kisame because he tastes good.' Next to it was a picture of Itachi giving Kisame a blowjob. M's jaw dropped. She laughed at it and pointed at it.
"Oh god." she wiped away tears. "Phew. Don't ever do that again. Now let's get out before we die."
They ran out and started dancing the halls. They were yelling," Chuga chuga chuga chuga choo choo!!!!" Tobi soon joined in the train ride. The weirdest thing you will ever see.